Heroines and Hellions: a Limited Edition Urban Fantasy Collection

by Margo Bond Collins

  “All I know is that, according to myth, Xipe was the Aztecan god of destruction and rebirth and he poured all his powers into a talisman, roughly five thousand years ago. Then he hid it in the deepest heart of the Amazon Forest. Over the centuries, well before America was discovered by humans, wizards and witches from all over the world went to the Amazon forest to look for the talisman. No one ever found it. Most of those greedy explorers never came back. I have no idea what the talisman can actually do. I’m far too young to know,” he gave me a meaningful look. “But, I do know someone who can help us, someone much older than me who lives downstairs.”

  4

  The Lamassu Brothers

  It was well past closing time, and all visitors were gone as were James’ human colleagues. Like I said, he was the only wizard working at the museum at the time, which gave him special rights, like staying late into the evening if his job required it.

  I was really perplexed. I couldn’t help but wonder who lived in the British Museum that was older than James. I knew that James wasn’t old to wizard standards, but he was overall. Wizards and witches have a much, MUCH longer life span than humans, and although I didn’t know his exact age, I knew he was hundreds of years old. So, who was living in the museum who was also older than James and more knowledgeable? And how was he or she allowed to live inside a museum?

  We reached the ground floor and walked to the Assyrian collection. We stopped in front of what’s left of the entrance to the royal palace of King Ashurnasirpal II (883-859 BC) at the city of Nimrud, the capital of the Assyrian empire. It was flanked by two colossal Lamassus, powerful protective deities, both having a man’s bearded head, with the body of a lion and the wings of eagles.

  “Here we are,” James said, standing in front of the two statues.

  “I am sorry, Mr Turner,” William said. “But, what?”

  “Wait and see, my friends,” Suzy’s brother replied. Then he straightened his jacket, cleared his throat and said: “Hank, Harvey: Please wake-up, I need your help!”

  The floor under our feet suddenly trembled, as if there was an earthquake. I glanced at James, who gave me a reassuring wink, while the eyes of the lamassu glowed like red lava, and hundreds of cracks zig-zagged on the statues’ surface.

  “Goodness Gracious!” William erupted, his voice silenced by the rumble produced by the magic exuding from the statues. More and more cracks appeared on the lamassu, and the rocky surfaces started falling away, revealing…fur? Yes, fur, and feathers. My jaw dropped as the two lamassus came to life in front of my very eyes, thick stone pieces still falling off their backs.

  “Hey mate, what’s up?”

  The Lamassu on the left yawned, and stretched his back and front paws, each equipped with long, sharp claws.

  “Hey, who’s that girl?” said the other deity. “Is she our player number four?”

  “Player?” I repeated, puzzled, staring at them with wide eyes.

  “Yep, poker player girl, are you our number four? I see you’re no wizard and we told James we’re done with cheating wizards.”

  “Of course I’m not a wizard!” I replied, indignant. “I am a girl!”

  “Yep, you’re no witch either,” the lamassu on the right conceded, ignoring my remarks. “Although, you’ve got something there…” he came closer, stopping barely ten inches from my face. He sniffed me, curious. He smelled of cinnamon? I had to use all my self-control to not turn and run away. “Ooh, you’ve got a magic aura and plenty of other interesting stuff I haven’t seen in a while. Intriguing. I hope you’re better than that George wizard who James brought recently, a despicable-cheater he was, never seen someone play so dishonestly!”

  “Come on Hank!” James protested. “George isn’t that bad! He just gives his cards a little magic boost now and then.”

  “A little magic boost? That’s how you call all those aces magically appearing into his hands? You…”

  “Sorry,” I interjected, “but I’m not here to play poker. I believe there’s been a misunderstanding.”

  “Yes Hank, she’s not a witch and she’s not here to play poker,” James said, turning the conversation.

  “Miss Wise, Your Grace, please let me introduce you to the lamassu brothers who guard the British Museum: Directly from ancient Nimrod, you’ve got Hank on the left, and Harvey on the right. Hank, Harvey, this is Miss Robyn Wise and His Grace, Sir William Burrow, Duke of Worthington.”

  “Hank and Harvey? From Nimrod?” My voice just left my mouth without permission. “These names aren’t exactly…”

  “Nimrodian, I know,” Hank cut me off. “Our names are even more ancient than we are and in a language very powerful and forgotten. So, we renamed ourselves. Hank and Harvey were the first two visitors we ‘met’ when we were brought here.”

  “I beg your pardon, Mr Turner,” William said, speaking for the first time. “But these two gentlemen are ancient deities that used to guard the entrance to one of the most fascinating and mysterious cities in the history of humanity. God knows how many interesting things they could share with you and you… play poker with them?”

  “Well, I…” James looked suddenly embarrassed.

  “Ghost, it’s not that we only play poker here,” Harvey interjected. He also seemed awkward. “We also have plenty of deep conversations, you know, deity-ish conversations.”

  “Deity-ish?” William repeated, arching a perplexed eyebrow. “For instance?” He looked genuinely interested, as well as completely unaware of the awkwardness of the moment.

  “Well, you know, important, mysterious stuff,” Hank tried to explain, exchanging embarrassed looks with James and Harvey. “Like, well, ancient stuff, like…”

  “Like the Eye of Xipe!” I cut him off, taking the chance to introduce the subject.

  “That’s right girl!” the lamassu replied enthusiastically. “Ancient stuff just like the talisman of Xipe! And, please tell me that that was just a random example!”

  “I’m afraid not, Hank,” James interjected. “Miss Wise is searching for a missing fairy who came here from the Amazon forest, to retrieve the talisman. Do you know anything about it? Can you help us?”

  “What do I know about it? I know that you should stay well away from it, that’s what I know!” Hank roared. He looked very serious, all of a sudden. I instantly knew that I had gotten myself into something nasty, just for a change.

  “Look, I kind of already knew this was bad,” I said, trying to sound nonchalant. “I wasn’t expecting the fairy kidnappers to be unicorns farting rainbows, you know…”

  “I appreciate your humour, miss, but Hank’s right,” Harvey interjected. “You must, MUST stay away from this. It’s too dangerous, even for James. That’s why we hoped he wouldn’t learn about it.”

  “Wait, what do you two know?” James asked, folding his arms across his chest and frowning. “If this is that bad, people could be in danger. Is the whole city at risk? If so, although I hate the idea, I will have to report to the Council and…”

  “Leave the Council out of it, mate,” Hank dismissed him with a wave of his paw. “They have better things to do than get slaughtered. We’re talking infernal wars here, meta-human stuff. Get the message?”

  Mr Turner grew pale. It looked as if a giant boulder had fallen from the sky right onto his head, painfully and unexpectedly.

  “What’s a meta-human?” I asked, unsure whether I was more scared or curious.

  “Ignorance is bliss!” Hank exploded. “Keep your head in the sand, girl, and you’ll keep your head on your neck too.”

  I turned to James.

  “It’s…it’s huge stuff,” he replied, trying to keep his voice steady. And failing.

  Although it was the very first time we’d met, I could see that he was deeply concerned. Maybe even scared. And, Suzy had clearly told me that her brother was one of the most talented and powerful wizards in the UK. That he could have done great things, if he hadn’t had a “hot, rebellious head”. So, w
hatever could scare him, needed to be taken very, VERY seriously.

  “Mr Turner, what exactly is going on?” William asked, frowning in mid-air.

  “This is…I certainly wasn’t expecting this,” James continued, ignoring Will and talking to himself. “As far as I know, we haven’t had a meta-human in London since the Middle Ages. How’s it possible that the Council isn’t aware of this? They must be! It wouldn’t make any sense otherwise…”

  “It does, Jim,” Harvey says. “Most meta-humans can go completely undetected, if they want to. We’re gods and we barely perceived this big shot in town, so I’m pretty sure the Council is quite…”

  “Clueless,” James finished the sentence with a sight.

  “Hello? You know I’m still here, right?” I erupted, exasperated. “Could you please fill me in? Give me some useful information about this meta-human person/thing?”

  “Child, please, do not be rude!”

  “Will, I’m not five and to hell with manners!” I snapped back. Then I turned to James and the lamassus: “I want to know. I need to know. Tell me everything.”

  “If you’re not five, don’t behave as such, kiddo,” Hank replied, frowning at me. “Give the wizard a break, that’s a hell of a bit of news to absorb. And you shouldn’t…”

  “It’s fine,” James replied, showing his palms to the guarding god. “Miss Wise has the right to know. After all, I promised to help her,” he turned to me. “Meta-humans are not people, not anymore. They were humans once, a long time ago, maybe thousands of years ago, before they sold their souls to a powerful and ancient demon. The demon granted them eternal youth, wealth and supernatural powers; the greater and older the demon, the stronger the powers,” James paused, searching for the right words. “In exchange, they became the demon’s slave. Powerful demons can’t leave their infernal dimension, and so are forced to have minions do their biddings, and meta-humans are nearly perfect for the task.”

  “Why almost?” I asked.

  “Because by selling their soul to a demon they got cursed, which posed a few limitations: they cannot walk under daylight; they’re forced to feed only on human blood, are afraid of and can be destroyed by religious symbols…”

  “Wait! Meta-humans are vampires?”

  “Sort of. They’re the source of the vampire myth,” James quietly replied, as if it was the most natural thing in the whole world. “Although they’re worse.”

  “Worse than Dracula?” I exhaled.

  “Well, yeah. Vlad the Impaler, was actually a meta-human, but the people at the time could see, er…only a glimpse of his powers, so…”

  “Dear Lord, please protect us!” William erupted, his eyes to the ceiling.

  “OK, OK,” I tried to swallow, but realised I had no saliva left in my mouth which felt like the desert of Sahara, only drier. “Any idea why a meta-human would be interested in kidnapping a fairy and stealing the Eye of Xipe? What does this talisman do?”

  “It’s a very powerful artefact that the god Xipe infused with all his powers before leaving our dimension,” Hank replied. “He was an Aztec life-death-rebirth deity, god of agriculture, vegetation and so on. It has multiple applications, it can resurrect the dead, for instance, and/or be used as a powerful weapon in the infernal war.”

  “Infernal war?”

  “Yeah, kid. It has been going on for eons and eons. Fortunately for you and your people, Earth isn’t one of the major battlefields and that’s mostly because it’s a mine of magical artefacts and other ancient stuff that can be used as weapons, so the demons don’t want to risk destroying anything of value. One of the duties of the meta-humans is to collect artefacts on behalf of their masters, so this is likely to be the case.”

  “Yep, I agree,” Harvey nodded. “And since there’s no way you can take down a meta-human on a mission for its master, I’d say just stay home and relax, mate.”

  “What? No, NO WAY! I have a job to do here, I made a promise!” I protested. “I must find that fairy! I…”

  “Kid,” Hank interrupted me. “Your intentions are noble and so on, but even if you had the means to save your beloved fairy, it’d be impossible for you to find her, I mean, it’s the proverbial needle in the haystack and…”

  “Not really, my dear fellow,” James said, extracting Megan’s message from his pocket. “The fairy wrote this with her blood, probably on purpose as to be trackable, and I happen to be a hell of a tracking wizard, as you know…” he gave the two gods a long, mischievous look. “All I need is a little boost to cut through the meta-human’s barriers and it’s done! You will help me, right? After all I’ve done for you these many years?”

  He waved the hand holding the message at the lamassus who gave him a defeated look. A grin blossomed on James’ face. Hope wasn’t lost.

  5

  James’ Spell

  “Man, are you sure you wanna do it? I mean, it’s hopeless…” Hank asked, trying hard to make James drop the whole thing.

  “Yes, I’m sure!” Mr Turner enthusiastically replied. “Besides, it could be better than we think. Maybe this meta-human isn’t as powerful as you believe, after all.”

  “Yet, was sent out to steal a super-powerful Aztec talisman? Mate, be serious!”

  “Well, we don’t know,” my friend stubbornly held his ground. “We must assess the situation, that’s why I need your help. So that we can all make an informed decision,” he continued, giving the two lamassus a meaningful look. “Besides, I promised this young lady I’d help her and, as you know, I always keep my promises,” he winked at me.

  That was the second time he did it and, for some reason, I remember I found it very inappropriate, given the situation, but also extremely comforting.

  “You would never ask me to break a promise made to such a brave and generous girl, would you?” He continued.

  The lamassus exchanged an embarrassed look. They clearly felt uneasy, not knowing how to reply…silence…more awkward silence…

  “All right, Jim, you win!” Harvey finally exhaled, turning to his brother, defeated.

  “No, seriously? You’re giving in so soon?” Hank replied, upset and disappointed.

  “Oh, come on bro!” Harvey replied, resigned and miserable at the same time. “What choice do we have? You know how stubborn he is! You know he’s going to do this anyway. At least we can help him learn what he is going to face so he can be prepared.”

  “OK, I can’t be against you all,” Hank sighted, defeated. “We’re ready when you are, Jim.”

  “I knew I could count on you, guys!” James said, a victorious grin blossoming on his stubble.

  He laid the fairy’s message on his left palm, then covered it with his right hand, the one bearing his ring of power.

  “Ready guys? Eurisco!” James said, and the ruby on his ring burned with magic.

  At the same time, the eyes of the lamassus glowed once again as they whispered something I couldn’t grasp, something said in an ancestral, powerful and long forgotten language that echoed in my head like the sound of an ancient bronze bell. Immediately, the museum started spinning around me, although I wasn’t moving at all. It spun and spun, until the surroundings went blurry and I felt slightly nauseous. Then it stopped. And everything was different.

  “That was a hell of a boost!” James erupted as we found ourselves in what looked like a huge basement, made even bigger by the magic within. The place was slightly lit, the only source of light being a few gas-lamps protruding from the brick walls. In spite of the darkness, I could sense that we were not alone.

  “What?…what’s going on?” I stuttered, more than a little concerned.

  “Don’t worry, Miss Wise, we’re still in the British Museum. My tracking spell, combined with the lamassus’ magic has created a very strong connection with your fairy. So strong, that we can now see and hear where she is kept, as if in a vision.

  “Oh, OK,” I nodded.

  “This is absolutely fascinating!” William whispered, float
ing by my side, mesmerised.

  Now that I knew we were safe, I was able to concentrate and scan the area. The walls were dark grey and the illumination system very old-fashioned. Both signs that we were in an old building, Victorian to say the least. The floor was tiled with stones black from layers and layers of dirt.

  The light in the room increased a little, as new gas-lights were turned on. I could clearly see that the place was filled with supernatural creatures: some of them were prisoners, others were their guards. I recognised a number of trolls of different breeds, very busy around a couple of roughly made wooden tables. They were taking orders from a bunch of weird creatures, who had crow wings, bodies of very short men, and wrinkly faces with black beaks where their mouth and nose should be.

  “What are they?” I whispered to James, trying not to show how frightened I was. I knew we weren’t really there, and no one could hear us, but still. It all looked so real that I couldn’t help myself.

  “They’re tengus; Japanese demons,” he replied. “Their beaks and claws are highly poisonous, just like their weapons. Very nasty creatures. There’s no tengu nest in London, no one in the whole of the UK. As far as I know, these ones came directly from Japan.”

  I nodded, as my eyes were drawn to a huge mirror, at the bottom of the room: It was so large, that it covered the entire wall it was hung from. Its frame was made of black stone, carved with Kanji characters that I couldn’t decipher. Its glass was very peculiar, being black, and not reflecting the surroundings. Something was hanging in front of it, making me look up to find several cages hanging from the ceiling. Some were very small, like a birdcage. Others were massive, and could easily contain a couple of grown men. But none of the prisoners in the cages were human. I spotted a terrified gnome in one. In another, a ball of brown fur with yellow eyes was shaking with fear. Next to it, in a long and narrow cage, there was a creature which looked like a mortal plant and behind it, there she was. In a cage with double iron bars, surrounded by a barrier of dark magic, was Megan, the fairy I was looking for. She was supernaturally beautiful, with long, silky hair the colour of the bark of a hundred different trees mixed together. Her skin looked like fresh honey and was slightly glowing. She was wearing the traditional armour that fairy warriors wear when on a mission: an extra light fairy silver chainmail, with shiny protections for her arms and knees. I squinted, trying to see her wings: I can determine a fairy’s rank by the shape and colour of her wings. “Let’s hope this one is relatively powerful,” I told myself. “She could help us defeat the meta-human, once we have set her free…” Where were they? I couldn’t see her wings, maybe they were folded behind her back. As if to answer my question, Megan turned around, probably to find a more comfortable position in her cold cage. I could now clearly see her back and, oh! She was a wingless fairy! That meant she was extremely young and unexperienced. As far as I knew, fairies like her weren’t meant to leave their tribe’s territory. Even after gaining their wings, it took them time to adjust to their new powers before setting out on a mission. I knew this having met a freshly winged fairy when I was seven! Megan wasn’t supposed to travel the world, let alone be sent on a dangerous mission to retrieve a powerful artefact. This made no sense at all! What the hell was going on?