Heroines and Hellions: a Limited Edition Urban Fantasy Collection

by Margo Bond Collins

  “Don’t worry about that: meta-humans tend to vaporise their enemies with powerful dark spells, so you won’t need a burial, you know, since there’d not be anything left of you to bury…”

  “What’s your middle name, ‘Cheer You Up’?”

  “I was just trying to ward off your worries…”

  “We here!” The Bluemini suddenly erupted, preventing us from continuing our awkward conversation. The tunnel ended in front of another door, this time it was a sliding one, made of wood and paper, Japanese style. It was covered with smudges of dried, black tengu poison, meaning it had being used several times.

  “Open!” The Bluemini said, jumping off my shoulder and simply sliding it open: sure, they didn’t bother to lock that door since the one on the other side had already been hidden and locked with magic.

  It took some effort, but we managed to climb into the loft. It would have seemed like just an ordinary, dusty loft, had it not been for the hundreds of stains of tengu poison everywhere… Plus, something else. Something vibrating inside me. Something scary that pointed…to the middle of the room which was empty apart from a rotting Persian carpet covered with dirt. Above me, a large windowsill was wide open, evidently to let crow demons fly in and out. It was early spring in London and we were in the middle of the night: no doubt it must be freezing cold in that attic, but I didn’t feel it. All I felt, was hot sweat running down my neck and shoulders, as well as something like a hot stone pressing onto my stomach. Adrenaline started pumping frantically into my veins, sharpening my senses.

  “The floor there is…humming,” I whispered, crouching to feel the wood near the worn-out carpet.

  “AWAY! Away! Spell!” the Bluemini ran to me, pressing onto my face to push me away.

  “What’s going on?” James asked as I got back to my feet. “There’s an overwhelming quantity of dark energy flowing through…”

  “Spell! Spell!” The Bluemini replied. “I show.”

  He walked around the carpet in a circle, leaving behind a wet blue trail that slowly made the Persian fabric disappear, it being a very powerful, treacherous glamour. In a few seconds, the carpet was replaced by a huge, oval hole. It clearly was the tengus’ entrance to the other floors. I peered down and gasped. The air left my lungs at once, and my heart stopped beating in my chest.

  The inside of number 50 didn’t exist anymore. It had been replaced by a giant cave, whose ceiling was almost entirely covered with crystal stalactites that pulsed with the same green energy activating the voodoo robots. I say “almost entirely”, since a huge oval structure occupied the centre of it. It was a sort of 3D painting, representing the symbol of the Yin and Yang, surrounded by our solar system. It was enchanted and the planets were slowing moving, following their orbits.

  “That’s a sort of magical visual clock, to signal when the planets are aligned and the spell can be performed,” James explained. He was trying to keep his voice steady, but with little success. He was scared, and so was I. Only an idiot wouldn’t be, considering what we were about to face.

  The stone floor was divided in two sections, connected by a stone bridge which was so narrow, that two people couldn’t have crossed it walking side by side. There were several cages hanging from the ceiling. I could spot the furry creature of the vision I had with James and the green, plant-like one. The first section of the cave was right underneath us and swarming with tengus. There were so many, that one could barely see the floor they stood on. They were watching the one door in the cave and preventing any attacker from reaching the bridge. The bridge stretched over a deep gorge filled with bubbling lava. Or at least it looked like lava, it could very well be something much worse. The bridge took you to the second section of the cave. There, under a giant barrier of very powerful dark magic, was Okasan, sitting in front of an enormous, bubbling cauldron. And she wasn’t alone. Around the cauldron were thirteen hooded figures, wrapped in thick black cloaks that made it impossible to see their faces. The dark barrier blocked a lot out, but still I could feel that there was something demonic about them. I had no time to analyse them, anyway: I had to find Megan! I changed position, getting closer to James, and cocked my ear to the right to change my point of view. I concentrated. "Where are you…where…” I thought, squinting as I scanned the place once again, scanning every single detail…she must be here, all the other prisoners were! I would have felt it, if she were dead, right? We had a blood connection, after all…” something flickered down below.

  It was a tiny, feeble light, sparkling timidly in the semi darkness. It floated around a flock of powerful tengus which were flying in tight ranks around something hanging from the ceiling just a little lower than the other cages. The light shot through them. One tengu moved slightly, as if bothered by it, and I saw her: Megan was there, trapped in a giant iron cage which could easily contain six robust men. She was in the cage furthest away from Okasan. That was the good news. The bad news was that she was closely guarded by at least twenty powerful tengus, two of them being Sharaku and Naraku. The alpha and beta male were guarding her. That meant that she was really vital to the spell’s success, as the Rain Man had hinted.

  I was about to say something, when the big door creaked open. A bunch of tengus entered, pushing another big cage on wheels. I squinted, to see who was in it and suddenly, all the air left my lungs: right below me, in that very iron cage, were Uncle Terry and Daniel, my client. They both looked terrified, but not as much as I felt.

  “Good Lord, what is Terry doing here?” William’s voice said in the distance. James replied something, probably telling him that my uncle was searching for us when he got captured. Although, how could he know that we’d be there? No one had told him! I was only vaguely aware that my friends were speaking to me, trapped in a bubble of my own incredulous desperation.

  “Please, don’t let Terry be hurt, it’s my fault if he got involved!”

  My heart raced so fast, that it felt as if it were about to explode. I couldn’t breathe. Everything was turning black…I instinctively clenched my chest and felt something underneath my jacket. It was the internal pocket where I had hidden Thalea’s magic bean. And, I suddenly remembered that I had more useful seeds in my other pocket. My bubble of desperation dissolved, replaced by hope, courage and purpose.

  I turned to my friends: “I have a plan,” I said resolutely, showing them the magic bean.

  20

  The Beanstalk

  “You stole all those magic seeds and didn’t tell me anything? And then forgot about them?” James erupted, indignant, after I’d told them my idea, all of us standing inside Okasan’s attic. “How could you?”

  “It was easy, since immediately after I was caught in a phoenix’s tail and dragged up into a sky filled with angry tengus.”

  “That…that is a good excuse. I have to admit it…” he replied, defeated.

  “Blue, you’re absolutely sure that you can produce enough water?” I asked the Bluemini, looking as serious as I could.

  “Much, much! A river of tears I can make for you!” He replied, clapping his little hands together. He was excited, not scared at all.

  “Great, so come here,” I knelt and handed him first a bunch of tiny black seeds which looked like shiny gems. Luckily, Thalea had had the time to tell me what the Black Plague was, and how it could break even the most powerful dark barrier. Even more luckily, I was able to steal five seeds when the havoc at the Market had started.

  “Now, you keep those in your pocket and take them out only when you’re on target, understand?” I told Blue. “And what are your targets?”

  “First, barrier round fairy cage. Then Okasan.”

  “Great! You really are smart!” I congratulated him. “As for this bean, you keep it close to your chest and splash it with water the moment you touch ground, are we clear?”

  “Yes!”

  “Are you sure you’re not going to get hurt? I don’t want you to be wounded.”

  “No, no. I very,
very light. I can fall like a drop of rain, no hurt.”

  “Very well, anyone have questions?” I turned to James and William.

  “Yes, one,” James said. “Were you born this crazy, or did you have to work at it?”

  “She was born like this,” William interjected. “At least, she’s been like this since I met her, and I met her when she was five.”

  “All right, so no questions…” I fretted, embarrassed. “Blue, are you ready?

  “Yes!” He tiptoed near the big circular hole in the floor, holding the bean to his chest.

  “All right, good luck little one!”

  He smiled at me and jumped down.

  “Mr Turner, would you do me the honour?” I said, pointing theatrically at the hole.

  “With pleasure!” he said. “Good luck, gentlemen!” and he jumped into the passage.

  “Gentlemen?” I repeated, jumping into the hole myself, William in tow.

  “Your ticket was extracted: you win a Jade blade!” I yelled, beheading my first tengu, as I landed on one of the magic bean’s giant leaves. The demon hissed and dissolved into a green cloud. The bluemini had done his job, jumping into Okasan’s cave holding onto the magic bean and spreading it with water. The moment they had both touched ground, the plant had started growing super-fast, reaching us in the attic in only a few seconds. We badly needed a diversion and a lift downstairs, and the magic plant was providing us with both, filling most of the first section of the cave with his giant trunk and leaves which we then used as platforms to land on as we descended. And battled demons.

  “Ever thought of acting, Miss Wise?” James asked, paralyzing two tengus with a spell and sending them my way.

  “Nope. I’ve got stage fright,” I replied, cutting through them and following him onto the lower leaf. We had to move fast, since the bean plant kept growing vertically, so we had to be quicker than it to reach the floor.

  “Stage fright? Really?”

  “Yeah, I’m kind of shy you know…”

  “What about cabaret? You’d deal with a smaller audience and you’re funny…DIAFZEIRO!”

  His explosive spell hit a bunch of tengus flying our way: their pieces all fell into the bubbling lava downstairs.

  “I crack jokes only when I fight…and none of the creatures I fought has ever laughed…” I continued, dodging a tengu’s axe which sank into the bean’s trunk behind me.

  “Maybe it’s their problem…they have no sense of humour!” James replied, making two more tengus fall into the lava.

  “Mmh…they tend not to…especially when I kill them!” I said, sinking my katana into a tengu and slashing through another as I headed onto another leaf.

  “Any news on your front, Will?” I asked him telepathically.

  “Not really,” he replied. I couldn’t see him, since he was fighting on the other side of the plant to back us up, and prevent us from being stabbed in the back. Literally. “I have blinded and thrown into that bubbling lava over three dozen tengus so far, child. These here are much bigger and much more powerful than those at the Market.”

  “Yep! And so much faster!” I replied, barely ducking a poisonous dagger coming my way. I cut a caper and landed on the murderous tengu’s back: “Hee-ah!” I yelled, playing the cowgirl while I forced him two more leaves down, until he turned to bite me, and I killed him with my katana.

  As we had hoped, the growth of the bean had caused great commotion among the tengus, and the tengus alone. James was right thinking that Okasan would require immense concentration to perform her spell: she and her Mysterious Thirteen seemed completely unaware of what was going on outside of the dark barrier that protected them. And that was a bonus not only because facing Okasan before setting Megan free would have been a total suicide. While growing, the giant beanstalk crushed under its roots a lot of tengus. Yes, they could regenerate, but it was very unlikely that they’d manage to emerge from a plant already weighting over a ton and still growing. This was little consolation since there were still so many, and, having overcome our advantage of surprise, they were all on us now. All but Sharaku and Naraku, and a few powerful others, who were staying on the ground, guarding the prisoners, Megan in particular. Which was definitely good news for us who wanted to rescue her…

  “FUCK ME!” I yelled, as I fell, having missed the one I had targeted.

  “Pardon?” James’ voice said, while one of his spells slowed my fall. “Er… it’s not that I meant…I mean, that was metaphorical, ehrm, it’s an expression…” I stuttered, as I landed on the closest available leaf where James was waiting for me.

  “Metaphorical eh? For a moment, I thought perhaps you were hitting on me…DIALUO!” A bright red spell hit three incoming tengus and split them in two. I slashed through what was left of them.

  “I wasn’t hitting on you…but it’s normal to be confused, at your venerate age…”

  “MY AGE AGAIN? SERIOUSLY?”

  “Come on, be a good sport…FUCK!” I turned just in time to destroy a tengu who was about to kill me: this one was even bigger than those we had just faced, and even faster. I could just thank my reflexes and sixth sense…

  “You OK?” James yelled. “DIAFZEIRO!” A powerful explosion followed, throwing a dozen tengus into the lava. “Here!” He rushed, pushing me behind a particularly large leaf protruding from the magic plant’s trunk. The beanstalk had slowed down its growth, moving up more slowly, making it easier for us to reach the floor. Also, lots and lots of new, thick leaves were growing horizontally, invading the ground and the mid-air, making it more and more difficult for the tengus to fly towards us without losing their balance or crushing into each other.

  “We’re two third down,” James panted, as we crouched behind the leaf. “We can’t continue like this: their plan is clearly to exhaust us before we reach the floor. As you’ve noticed, Sharaku and Naraku aren’t moving an inch, along with a bunch of the most powerful tengus…”

  “I have noticed. But I don’t know what else we can do, we’re already fighting with all we have. Let me check on Will,” I said, then concentrated. “Will, you OK? Please update me.”

  “I am fine, more or less, my dear. They keep coming this side of the plant, too…”

  “Can you locate the Bluemini?”

  “I’m afraid not, child. It’s far too crowded where I am now.”

  “No news from Will,” I said. “Doesn’t know where Blue is.”

  I quickly scanned the floor for the prisoners, above all Megan, Terry and Daniel. They were all still in the place, but I wondered for how long. Daniel was sitting against his cage’s bars, holding his knees and shaking with terror. His fairy girlfriend was focused on him, staring at him through the bars of her cage. Of the three, my uncle was the one in the best shape. He was standing beside Daniel, looking around, trying to understand what was going on. The havoc caused by the giant bean and the plant itself, with its huge leaves, were preventing him from seeing us.

  “Hold on, uncle, I’m coming for you!” I thought, squinting to try to locate the Bluemini, hoping to have better luck than William. But, there were too many leaves and too many tengus, and he was so tiny…

  “The blue creature you’re searching for is hiding behind a leaf, the one with a streak of purple a couple of yards in front of my cage,” a voice suddenly said in my head. It wasn’t William, this time. It was a female voice and had spoken in the Fairy Language.

  21

  The Cage

  “Megan? Is that you?” I replied. “We can communicate telepathically now?”

  “Now that you’re so close, yes,” her beautiful voice echoed back. “Remember, we have a blood bound. I have to warn you, I’m too well-guarded. It’s impossible for that blue being to reach me unseen…too many powerful tengus…”

  “Then we must make them move!” I erupted.

  “Who? What?” James asked, understandably confused.

  “Megan. She contacted me. The Bluemini is very close to her, but can’t
reach her cage. Too many tengus.”

  “But how the hell…”

  “No time to explain! Do you still have that Jade statue? The one you took from the British Museum?”

  “Yes. What do you have in mind?”

  “One of my crazy plans. Involving that statue and your most powerful explosive spell. William, we need your help!”

  “This is crazy, child! My barrier can only hold for one minute, maybe two, if we are extremely lucky…”

  “It will be enough, it has to be,” I replied, jumping onto a lower leaf, slashing through anything that moved, James right behind me. William had left his position to help us, after having created a wall of powerful, super-hard slime and magic, so that the tengus behind the plant couldn’t attack us for a while.

  The demons didn’t really mind, though, since they were concentrating all their fire frontally, doing all they could to kill us before we reached the floor. But we kept going, nevertheless. The bean had completely stopped growing vertically by then, making it easier for us to move downwards. I was relentless, all the exhaustion seemed to have washed away. I couldn’t be sure, but I had the sensation that being so close to Megan was somehow boosting my energy.

  “Dialuo!” James shouted, chopping a bulky tengu in two and throwing him into the lava river. Since he couldn’t use his magic while passing through Okasan’s three gates, he had saved a lot of his energy and was releasing it now, showing (off) what a powerful and experienced wizard like him could do. There were only three of us, still, we were able to keep at bay a whole army of big bad tengus. But it wouldn’t last long, so we really need to put my plan into action ASAP.

  “All right Turner, are you ready?” I yelled, as I sank my katana into a tengu’s chest, then cut a caper, landed on a lower leaf and slashed through another.