Secret Lover

by Shawna Delacorte

  “I’m fine.” Her voice quavered slightly. She took another deep breath to calm her frazzled nerves. “How about you?”

  “Yeah...” His voice trailed off as he peered through the windshield, the mud having been rinsed off by the steady rainfall. “It was almost as if that driver had purposely—”

  Her head jerked up, her eyes widened in shock. “Do you mean...do you think it was something other than just a reckless driver?”

  His voice sounded vague, not at all convincing. “I’m sure it wasn’t anything more than a simple accident. The driver’s vision was probably blocked by the rain and he didn’t realize how close he was.”

  Jim held her a moment longer before finally releasing her. “I guess I’d better see if I can get us out of the mud. I hope we’re not stuck here.” He pulled on his jacket and opened the door, squinting toward the rainy sky as he turned the collar up around his neck.

  They did everything they could think of to get out of the mud. “Okay—try it again!” Jim put his shoulder against the back of the van and tried to dig his feet in for a more secure footing as Andi pressed on the gas pedal. The tires spun in the gooey mess, spattering mud across the front of his wet clothes, but the van refused to budge. On what was normally a fairly busy road, very few cars had come by during the hour that they had been struggling with the stuck vehicle, and none had stopped to offer any help.

  Andi was watching in the side mirror when she saw the highway patrol car pull over behind them. Tremors of anxiety darted around inside her stomach. A reckless driver who may not have been merely a reckless driver and now a highway patrolman who may or may not recognize Jim. She tried to calm her trepidation.

  Andi took her foot off the gas pedal, causing Jim to straighten up and look around. Between the rain and the sound of the van motor, he had not heard the car pull up behind him. The sight of the patrol car and the officer opening the door startled him. A twinge of uneasiness tried to take hold, but he shoved it back into hiding as he turned to greet the officer.

  The young patrolman approached Jim, pulling his rain slicker up around his neck and placing his cap on his head. His expression was pleasant, nothing to cause any alarm. “You seem to have a little problem here.”

  Jim carefully measured his words, not wanting to project his uneasiness. “Yes, we’ve been trying for an hour to get out of the mud, only I think it’s worse now than when we first skidded off the road.”

  “What happened?”

  “A truck cut into our lane right in front of us. We had to swerve to avoid being hit and ended up in the mud.”

  “I’ll call a tow truck for you...get you pulled out.”

  Jim flashed the officer a grateful smile. “Thanks. You’re the only person who’s bothered to stop to see if we even needed help.”

  “I’ll make that call right now. Should be someone here soon. Where are you headed?”

  Jim paused for a moment before answering as he decided exactly what he should say. “We were headed for Sacramento.”

  “Well, be careful on these roads, sir. There’s been a rash of minor accidents due to the rain. I’d also suggest that you get out of those wet clothes as soon as possible before you end up with the flu.”

  “A good suggestion, officer. Thanks for your help.” Jim climbed in the van, keeping a watchful eye on the highway patrolman as he called for a tow truck, then pulled back on the road and continued with his patrol route.

  “What was that about?” Andi could hear the tension in her voice. She had been on the edge of her seat from the moment the patrol car had pulled up behind them.

  “Everything’s okay. He called for a tow truck and said to watch it on the roads.” He stared at her for a moment. An edge of irritation crept back into his voice. “Of course, this never would have happened if we had stayed on—”

  “I don’t want to hear any ‘I told you so’ speeches! If we’d stayed on the interstate at Portland like I wanted to, we’d be in San Diego by now.” She folded her arms across her chest, sat back in the seat and stared straight ahead, her face set in a frozen mask, indicating that, as far as she was concerned, the conversation was over. They remained silent for another hour while they waited for the tow truck.

  Jim rummaged through his suitcase, pulled out a dry sweatshirt and sweatpants, and changed in the back of the van. He felt a little better but was still in need of a good hot shower. Another couple of hours and they would lose the winter daylight. It was obvious that they were not going to make it to San Diego, and that meant one more night in a motel together. It was not what he wanted.

  He turned toward her, reached out and brushed his fingertips against her cheek, startling her out of her thoughts. “Andi...look, uh...I’m sorry I snapped.”

  He said what she had wanted to say, what she should have said. “Me, too. I’m sorry for the way I’ve been—”

  He leaned his face into hers, capturing her mouth with a soft kiss. She felt her insides quiver and turn to mush as he twined his fingers in her hair and pulled her to him. There it was again, the unmistakable pull of his sexual magnetism. His kiss was warm, soft and gentle and she did not want it to end.

  After several seconds he pulled his face back from hers. He traced the outline of her upper lip with his index finger. His voice was slightly husky. “Things are stressful enough as it is. Let’s not argue anymore, okay?”

  The honking of a horn broke the magic of the moment—the tow truck had arrived. Within half an hour they had been pulled free of the mud and were on their way again. Andi headed the van inland from the Bay Area until they connected with the interstate. Their conversation became more casual, more relaxed. Jim made no further comments about the route Andi had chosen. Instead he turned his attention to more important matters.

  “Tell me more about this informant of Steve’s.”

  “I don’t really know very much. Steve said he’d fill me in later. He just said that one of his contacts had been in touch with someone who had a vital piece of information that he was willing to sell.”

  “Did he say what kind of information or who the informant was?”

  “No, that was all he said.”

  They stopped at a fast-food takeout to grab a quick bite to eat. As they stood in line waiting for their food, Andi surveyed the people inside, some sitting at tables and others at the counter placing their orders. Two men in particular caught her attention. They had been standing just outside the door, looking in through the glass as if they were searching for something...or someone. A little shiver of trepidation shot across her skin when they came inside and sat at a table without placing an order for food.

  She leaned over and nudged Jim. Her voice was just above a whisper. “Those two men at that door. Is it just my imagination or do they seem to be—”

  “Staring at us?” The tension had been building inside him from the moment he had spotted the two men. “Yeah, I saw them standing outside.” Before he could say anything, two women walked in and joined the men at their table. They appeared to be discussing food, then the two men went to the counter to place an order.

  A quick feeling of relief settled inside Jim. He wondered if there would ever be a time when something as simple as two men meeting their dates would not set his senses on edge. He scrutinized the situation a moment longer before offering an opinion. When he was fairly certain that there was no danger, he flashed her a teasing little grin, attempting to keep the situation light.

  “I can’t imagine why they’d be staring. Just because I’ve got mud in my hair, all over my shoes and just about everywhere that I have skin showing? That doesn’t seem like much of a reason.”

  She emitted a little chuckle. “I guess you’re right. It just seemed odd—” Their order number was called, so they quickly collected their food and left. They ate in the van, then Andi made her call to Steve.

  As soon as she returned, she filled him in on what Steve had to say. “He’s flying out tomorrow. He’ll be on the first flight out
of JFK in the morning. With the time difference, that will put him in Los Angeles about nine or nine-thirty tomorrow morning. He plans to rent a car and drive down to La Jolla from there. He’ll be at my house before we are.”

  Jim sat in silence for a moment, his jaw clenched in a hard line as he digested this new piece of information. The reticence in his voice told of his apprehension. “Why is he coming out here?”

  “For one thing, he wants to meet you. He’s putting a lot on the line and he wants some personal reassurances.”

  He looked at her curiously, almost in disbelief, unable to conceal the annoyance that edged into his voice. “He’s putting a lot on the line? Tell me, is. he putting his life on the line? Is he being expected to trust a total stranger with his life?”

  She heard his distress. She understood where it came from, but once again she could not put herself in his place, could not feel what was going on inside him. “I know this must be very difficult for you.” She reached over and touched his arm. “Everything is going to work out just fine. Soon this will all be over and you’ll be free again—free to do what you want and go where you want.” She refused to acknowledge the thought that it also meant he was free to leave and she might never see him again.

  “I wish I felt even half as confident about all this as you do.”

  They rode on in silence for a while longer. It was Jim who finally spoke. “It’s getting late and I’m dirty and grubby. If I don’t get a shower pretty soon I’ll...” He could not stop the chuckle. “I might become short-tempered and irritable.”

  She laughed along with him, relieved that his mood seemed to have perked up a little bit. “We certainly wouldn’t want that, would we? It’s still more than eight hours to San Diego. If we get on the road early tomorrow morning we should make it by early afternoon.”

  It was another fifteen minutes before they found a motel with a vacancy sign. He returned to the van from the check-in office and slid into the passenger seat. He sat quietly for a moment, staring straight ahead, then turned toward her. He held up the single key. “Number eleven. It was the only room they had available.”

  Neither of them said anything as they carried their overnight bags into the room. The tension was unmistakable, heightened by the sexual energy that filled the air.

  Jim was the first to break the silence. “As soon as I get a shower and some clean clothes I’ll go out to the van and sleep there. The rain has almost stopped. It’s not too cold.”

  He took a calming breath, then a second one as he tried to quell the desire building inside him—a desire he knew he could not ignore if they were to spend one more night together in the same room. He quickly disappeared behind the closed bathroom door.

  Andi heard the shower running. She sat on the edge of the bed, not sure what to do. The circumstances that had brought them together and continued to surround them were anything but normal. If they had stayed on the interstate, they would be at her house by now. There was another truth that was even more compelling, one she had been trying to ignore and Jim had not mentioned. Even with avoiding the Seattle and Vancouver airports, they could have taken a flight out of Portland or San Francisco or Oakland. They could have even taken a commuter flight out of Eureka where they had actually been at the airport to exchange the rental car.

  She did not want to explore the probable reason for the actions they each had silently agreed to—actions that transcended the danger surrounding them, the awkwardness of their uneasy alliance and even the importance of what they needed to accomplish.

  A few minutes later Jim emerged from the bathroom dressed in clean, dry clothes, his hair still damp from the shower. “I’ll be in the van.” He paused at her side, cupped her chin in the palm of his hand and lowered his mouth to hers. The kiss was brief, but there was no denying the feelings that had prompted it. He turned and quickly left the room, closing the door behind him.

  The rain had finally stopped. Jim pulled open the van door and slumped into the seat. The restless churning in the pit of his stomach refused to calm down. He closed his eyes and tried to compose himself, but it did not work. He left the van and wandered aimlessly across the parking lot as he took stock of his situation. He was away from his safe haven and literally at the mercy of someone who was not much more than a complete stranger, regardless of what lengths Andi had gone to make sure he knew all about her. He also knew that he had no way of knowing if she was telling him the truth.

  There had been numerous opportunities for someone to get to him along the route from Vancouver Island. He felt fairly confident that no one was following them, although the moment when they had been run off the road still nagged at his consciousness. He had what seemed like thousands of questions, but no answers. And his biggest question was where and how Andi fit into all of this.

  After Jim had left the motel room, Andi took a quick shower and prepared for bed. She fluffed the pillow, then slid in under the cover. She did not know if she was relieved or disappointed that he had chosen to sleep in the van. She suddenly felt very much alone.

  The soft knock at the door sent a tremor of anticipation through her body. She quickly jumped out of bed and raced to answer it. He stood on the other side, his handsome features highlighted by the parking lot illumination. His words were soft and hesitant, his manner somewhat awkward as he nervously shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “Andi...I wish I could say I had better control of what’s going on inside me, of my hopes...my desires—”

  “Perhaps controlling one’s desires isn’t...” Her voice trailed off; she did not know how to finish her sentence. She stood aside, allowing him to enter the room, then closed the door behind him.

  In sharp contrast to the carefully weighed considerations that had always been part of his job as a chemical engineer, snap decisions often based on nothing more than gut instinct had become his way of life. His very existence for the past five years depended on his being able to instantly take in what was going on and make an immediate judgment on a plan of action.

  Ever since Andrea Sinclair had entered his life, he had been thrown into a tailspin of indecision. Suddenly other people were making determinations about his life, people he did not even know. It had to stop. He needed to take back control of what was happening to him. The situation of the moment was no different. It would serve no purpose to fence back and forth about what they both knew to be the inevitable.

  His voice contained the confidence of a man who had regained control of a tenuous situation, yet it projected a soft quality. “We’re both very aware of the strong attraction that’s pulling us together, something beyond the outside parameters of this nightmare that’s been my life. There’s a heat that’s barely contained under the surface. I felt it the first time we met.”

  He placed his hands on her shoulders and searched the depths of her eyes. “I can’t make any promises or offer you any type of a commitment. I don’t know what tomorrow will bring....”

  She reached up and lightly stroked his cheek. “Is this what your life has been like these past five years? No closeness, no emotional involvement, no sharing—carefully avoiding anything that might put you in a vulnerable or compromising position?”

  She slipped her arms around his waist and rested her head against his shoulder. “I wanted so badly to get inside your head while I was doing my research, to figure out who you were and what you would be doing. This side of your life never occurred to me.” She felt herself being enfolded in the warmth of his embrace as he nestled his cheek against her soft auburn curls. She felt his pain as surely as if it had been her own. She felt the loneliness and isolation that had been forced on him.

  “I haven’t wanted to be close to anyone...until now. It’s too dangerous being around me. I’m not even comfortable with this limited involvement on your part, but no matter what happens in the future I’m very glad that we met.” The emotion buried inside him caused his voice to falter. “Maybe some day, if things—”

  “No m
ore talk.” Her words were whispered as she placed her fingertips against his lips to silence him. “I’m not asking you for any promises. I’m not asking you for a commitment.”

  Perhaps it was the long hours they had spent together sharing a platonic bed and dangerous secrets. Maybe it was the forbidden enticement of no promises and no commitment. Possibly it was the tenuous present and the uncertain future that caused things to progress as quickly as they had. Whatever the reason, the passion and desire that existed between them seemed far more intense than anything either of them had ever experienced.

  A low groan escaped his throat as he seized her mouth with a demanding heat. The immediacy of her response fueled his already-inflamed desires. Their lips met, their tongues meshed, then the tension that had been simmering just below the surface exploded with a force that shocked both of them. The restraint each had been exercising was quickly replaced by the full acceptance of their actions and knowledge of the consequences.

  Pieces of clothing quickly fell away. The sound of their breathing filled the air. She placed a trembling hand against his hard chest, his strong heartbeat resonating on her fingertips. She had never before experienced the level of anticipation that surged through her body at that moment.

  His lips tickled across her throat, nibbling seductively at the curve between her neck and shoulder. She felt the sensual titillation of his touch as he caressed her shoulders, then slowly slid his hands down her back as he pulled her body tight against his.

  She closed her eyes and allowed the exhilaration to wash over her. His touch was magic, his caress gentle yet at the same time insistent. He sank into the bed, pulling her with him. She ran her fingers through his thick blond hair, then wrapped her arms around him. He slowly and sensually propelled her toward the ultimate rhapsody as she savored every step of the exquisite journey.

  “Jim...I...” Andi gasped for air. She wanted to say something to him, wanted to share her feelings of the moment but could not force out any words.