Noah opted for simple. “We’ve got history. At one point in my life, I was in love with him.”
“But you’re not now?” Gannon’s tone held a hint of skepticism.
This time, Noah decided to tell the truth. “I’m pretty sure I’m still in love with him. And that’s not the issue.”
“Then what is?”
“I don’t know how to make this work.”
“Have you told him?”
Noah shook his head. “Dare is not ready for that. We’ve only been back in each other’s lives for a couple of days.”
“Yet you can admit that you’re still in love with him.” It wasn’t a question, so Noah waited to see where Gannon was going with this. “What makes you think he doesn’t know how he feels about you?”
He didn’t know for sure how Dare felt and he was scared to ask him.
“The only advice I have for you is to tell him how you feel. Maybe he doesn’t feel the same, but you won’t know until you talk about it.”
“And if he doesn’t?” Noah knew Gannon couldn’t answer that, but he asked anyway.
“If he doesn’t, then you’ve got closure and you can move on.”
Unfortunately, that was true.
Gannon stood up straight. “Well, I’ve got to get back to Cam. I’m sure he’s missing me by now.” Gannon chuckled. “I haven’t given him a hard time in about an hour. I’m sure he’s waiting for it.”
Noah smiled. “Looking forward to tomorrow.”
“You and me both.” Gannon’s smile widened. “Oh, and thanks again for agreeing to be a groomsman. It means a lot.”
“You’re family. I’m happy to do it.”
Noah leaned on the rail once again when Gannon left. He stared out into the darkness. He didn’t know how things would work with him and Dare, but he knew Gannon was right about one thing. He had to get closure.
He just didn’t like how final that sounded.
Twenty-One
Thursday, June 2nd
Cruise, day five
Dare woke up to the sun shining in through the window and the cabin empty. He knew Noah had returned at some point last night, but neither of them had said anything. When Dare had woken up that morning, Noah hadn’t been there. After Dare had spent a couple of hours on the beach—wanting to be able to say he’d been to St. Maarten—then come back to the cabin for a nap, he hadn’t seen Noah anywhere. And now, only an hour and a half out from the wedding, he didn’t think Noah was going to make an appearance.
It seemed Noah was still having issues with him and he needed some space.
After finding out about Noah’s father and how his own actions had caused the man’s death, Dare couldn’t blame him. Not one bit.
Oh, it hurt like a motherfucker to know he’d been the one to cause Noah’s father’s death. Even though everyone—including Noah—was trying to tell him otherwise, he wasn’t buying it. Had he not chosen that day to walk away from Noah, his father wouldn’t have needed to come over to console him; therefore, he would probably be alive today.
Simple equation, no matter how you looked at it. And no amount of apologizing would ever be able to make up for that.
Which was why Dare was prepping himself to spend the rest of the trip away from Noah. As far as he was concerned, they’d said all they needed to say to one another. It might’ve been fifteen years too late, but Dare was finally able to move on knowing that he’d tied up those loose ends that had been left blowing in the wind all those years ago.
After spending the better part of the hour before the wedding trying to forget Noah, somehow, Dare managed to finally push the thoughts back, pull on the monkey suit, and make his way to the location Milly had instructed him to be at, getting there a few minutes early.
“You made it on time,” Milly greeted with a huge grin.
“I know you didn’t doubt me,” he teased, smiling for the first time in hours.
“Of course not. That’s why I had it on a ship. I knew you wouldn’t have far to go.”
“So you’re saying this was all for me, huh?”
Her eyes glittered with mischief. “Absolutely.”
Dare chuckled. “That doesn’t surprise me.”
“Come on, I’ll take you to Cam.”
Dare followed Milly as she led him to a small room where Cam, Gannon, and the others were gathered. There were a handful of people already there—Roan, Mr. Strickland, Hudson, and Teague—all laughing and joking and apparently keeping the grooms at ease. But there was one person noticeably absent, but likely the only person who noticed was him.
Forget Noah for a little while.
In his attempt to forget the hot firefighter, Dare got caught up in the excitement. It wasn’t difficult since his closest friend was finally tying the knot, and based on the wide grin on Cam’s face, today was likely the best day of his life. There was a tiny part of him that was envious.
“Did you ever really think you’d be here?” Roan asked Cam and Gannon.
“On a boat, no,” Gannon admitted, laughing. “But if you’re referring to here, as in getting ready to marry this man…” Gannon’s gaze slid to Cam. “I knew it the second I saw him.”
Cam laughed. “Liar.”
“Okay, maybe after the third or fourth time I saw him,” Gannon joked.
Thanks to the teasing and the laughter, Dare managed to forget the events of the last twenty-four hours right up until the moment Noah walked into the room.
“Hey, man. Glad you’re here,” Gannon greeted Noah, slapping him on the back and shaking his hand.
“I should be saying that to you,” Noah replied. “Looks like your nerves, as well as your stomach, are settled.”
“I feel fantastic,” Gannon confirmed. “Thank you, by the way. Those pills worked like magic. I don’t think I’d be here without them.”
Dare hardly noticed the fact that Gannon wasn’t pale anymore, but that was because Dare found himself only a few feet away from the most incredibly attractive man wearing a tux and looking like a million dollars.
Fuck. No man had ever looked that good in a tux. Ever.
As he ogled Noah, his mouth dried up instantly.
“Hey,” Noah greeted, making his way over to him after shaking hands with Cam and the others.
“Hey,” Dare managed to say, still eyeing Noah.
“Dare and Noah!” Milly called from the doorway. “Y’all are up first.”
Right. Wedding.
This shit was about to go down.
“You ready for this?” Noah asked quietly.
“Just another day for me,” he said, doing his best to pay attention to Milly and not turn his attention back to Noah.
“You two are going to walk down the aisle and then split. Noah, you’re on the left, which is Gannon’s side. Dare, you’re on the right. Questions?”
Dare shook his head and allowed Milly to lead them down the hallway, then over to an open area that led out onto the ship’s deck.
Even with the music that was playing and all the people chattering as he and Noah began walking down the short aisle to where the man in the suit resided beneath an altar decorated with flowers, Dare only heard the pounding of his own heart. At one point in his life, he could’ve imagined this being his and Noah’s wedding day.
But it wasn’t. And it never would be.
That was something he would need to remind himself for the next couple of hours.
Noah only hoped that he didn’t look as awkward as he felt. This whole wedding thing was so far out of his element, but he did what came natural, walking beside Dare—who was definitely pretending Noah wasn’t there—down to the front and then veering to the left as Milly had instructed.
It was a wonder he’d even caught that part. From the moment he’d laid eyes on Dare wearing that tuxedo … everything else had faded into the background. He’d never seen the man dress up before, and holy shit, he was a sight.
Even now, as Noah stood at the front while Hudson and
Teague walked down the aisle, the only thing he could focus on was Dare. He knew before the night was over that he had to apologize to Dare. For what he’d said last night, for what had transpired between them fifteen years ago, for all of it. One way or another, they had to put the past to rest so they could get on with their lives. Even if it meant that once he stepped off this ship, he would never see Dare again.
Something he hoped wasn’t the case.
Noah stepped back when Hudson joined him—apparently standing up for Gannon in order to make things even. He forced his attention to the aisle in time to see Roan and Milly coming down. She was smiling so brightly, almost as though today were her wedding day.
Once the best man and maid of honor were in place, the music changed, and all heads turned toward the doors leading out to the deck. Cam’s father stepped out, then Cam, and then Gannon. Mr. Strickland led them to the front, then hugged them both before taking his seat.
The drone of conversation quieted, the music faded, and the only sound was the sea waves far down below against the ship.
The officiant cleared his throat and began, “Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to unite these two men in the bond of marriage, and to celebrate this sacred union.
“Marriage is a universal bond that is recognized and honored even when the forms and traditions may differ from person to person. Marriage is an essential building block of society. No person should attend a wedding without giving thanks for its institution. It is thus with great joy and hope that we come together to witness Cam Strickland and Gannon Burgess join in wedlock.”
Though the words trickled through his brain, Noah found himself staring at Dare, unable to look away when their eyes met.
“On this day, these two men will bring all that they have to offer one another. Their hope, their love, even their fears. For the commitment of marriage demands no less. They bring their dreams and accomplishments, as well as their worries and failures. They offer each other their virtues and vices, their fortunes and wants, and their well-being and their neediness. Whatever time brings their way, they shall remain united. For the covenant they make today will bind them together until parted by death.
“On this journey it is love that will make each step easier. Love sweetens shared dreams and comforts the fearful. Love is accomplished in seeing the good and overlooking the bad. In hard times, love brings hope. Love is at the very center of a meaningful life. It is the presence of love that, here today, pervades and enriches this service of celebration and commitment, and we hope will continue throughout their marriage.
“Marriage is different than any other relationship. It celebrates intimacy, and it ties an eternal knot. It is the most significant contract a person will make in their lifetime. It touches the heart more deeply than any other action two people can take. It strengthens the bond in ways too numerous to list.”
The officiant paused and looked between Cam and Gannon. “You are about to assume this relationship. You will pledge to each other your love and devotion.”
Cam and Gannon both nodded, and Noah noticed that they were looking at only each other. From where he stood, he couldn’t see Gannon’s face, but he could imagine the love that shone there. And all eyes were on them.
“Cam and Gannon have found that their love for one another is so deep that they wish to commit themselves to each other in marriage. The contract of marriage is one not to be entered into lightly, but thoughtfully and with a deep realization of the obligations and responsibilities it entails. Please remember that love, loyalty, and understanding are the foundation of a happy home. No human ties are more important or more tender.”
Noah ignored the pang in his chest, the ache that he realized had started that morning so long ago when he’d woken up to find Dare gone. He had been in love with Dare then; he had been able to envision a life where the two of them would’ve been together forever. Only he’d fucked that up by thinking he knew what was best for them both.
“Please face one another,” the officiant instructed. “Cam, will you take Gannon to be your husband, to live together as best friend, lover, and soul mate? Will you love him as a person, respect him as an equal, sharing joy as well as sorrow, triumph as well as defeat? And keep him beside you for as long as you both shall live?”
Cam smiled. “I do.”
“Gannon, will you take Cam to be your husband, to live together as best friend, lover, and soul mate? Will you love him as a person, respect him as an equal, sharing joy as well as sorrow, triumph as well as defeat? And keep him beside you for as long as you both shall live?”
“I do,” Gannon said, his words choppy with emotion.
“Do you have the rings?”
Noah watched as Milly and Roan produced the rings, handing them over to Cam and Gannon before the two men faced one another again.
“These rings mark the beginning of a long journey filled with wonder, surprises, laughter, tears, celebration, grief, and joy. May these rings glow in reflection of the warmth and love which flow through the wearers today.”
The officiant turned to Cam. “Repeat after me: I give you this ring as a symbol of the love I have for you. Wear it now as a sign of the love we share together.”
Cam repeated the words, his eyes never leaving Gannon’s face as he placed the ring on his finger.
The officiant then turned to Gannon. “Repeat after me: I give you this ring as a symbol of the love I have for you. Wear it now as a sign of the love we share together.”
Noah watched Cam’s face, saw the tears that came to his eyes when Gannon managed to choke out the words—reflecting the emotion shared between them. The deep connection between them was clear for everyone to see. It was evident that these two men loved one another and this day … their wedding day … it would bind them together for eternity. Although Noah suspected the ceremony wasn’t even necessary because their bond had already been established.
The officiant spoke again, “Being one unbroken circle, your rings symbolize unending love. May these be a constant reminder of this moment when you have pledged your everlasting love to one another. We have heard your vows and your promise of faithful love. May joy be with you from this day forward. I, by virtue of the authority vested in me, declare you to be wed, according to the ordinance of the law.
“You may kiss.”
Laughter erupted when Gannon pulled Cam to him, then tilted him back, their mouths never separating.
And it was in that moment that Noah realized, the only chance he’d ever had at what these two men had was standing directly across from him. Not once in his life since had he ever felt anything remotely close to what he felt for Dare.
Now he had to figure out a way to get that back.
While there was still time.
Twenty-Two
About a minute into the officiant’s speech, Dare realized that he’d spent the better part of the day wallowing in self-pity. This trip wasn’t about him. It wasn’t about Noah. It wasn’t about their past or the heartache that came along with it.
This was about celebrating Cam and Gannon and the love they’d found.
And that meant it was time to get back to being the guy who loved a good party and not the guy who couldn’t seem to shake off his past. Considering they had opened the doors to the reception room and were gearing up to move everyone inside, Dare knew now was the time to implement that. This was a celebration of love, not a freaking funeral.
Because of that, he made a beeline through the doors while the guests crowded Cam and Gannon, offering their congratulations with hugs.
“Jack and Coke, please,” Dare told the bartender as he stepped up to the bar in the reception room.
“Make that two.”
Taking a deep breath, Dare turned to face Noah. Before he could say what was on his mind, Noah put his hand up.
“I’m sorry,” Noah said softly. “For everything. If it’s all right with you, I’d like to start over. As friends.”
Well. T
hat was not what he’d been expecting to hear.
He could feel Noah’s intense gaze watching him while he pondered what to say.
The bartender returned with their drinks, and Dare took a moment to take a sip, trying to gather his thoughts. Did he want to start over? Or did he want to put the past behind him?
The second option seemed a whole lot easier than the first, but Dare knew he wasn’t ready to let go of Noah for the second time, even if it was the best thing for both of them.
He found himself nodding his head. “Okay.”
“Okay what?” Noah looked confused.
“We’ll start over.” Maybe they couldn’t get over the past enough to love each other again, but Noah was right. They could be friends.
“Like, from the beginning?” Noah smirked.
Dare couldn’t hide his smile. “Who are you again?”
And for a brief moment, Dare imagined himself actually meeting Noah for the first time. It would’ve been much like it had been that fateful day so long ago. He’d been captivated by Noah very much as he was now. By how obscenely attractive he was, by how beautiful his smile was. Even by that lopsided smirk that promised things Dare wasn’t even sure he was ready for now.
Two hours later, after he’d knocked several drinks back, after everyone had settled in, after Dare and Noah had found a table near the dance floor, after Roan and Milly had made everyone laugh with their toasts, and after Gannon and Cam had cut the cake and then finally had their first dance as a married couple, Dare was feeling a little more at ease. It likely had something to do with the whiskey, but he wanted to believe it was because he’d reset his mind and knew what was important tonight.
“Excuse me for a minute,” Noah said, smiling over at him before getting up and venturing toward the DJ.
Dare couldn’t help but watch, wondering what Noah was up to. He went right up to the man who was managing the music and whispered something to him. The guy smiled back and nodded.
Of course, now Dare was curious as to what Noah had requested, but he did his best to pretend otherwise.
A few minutes later, his curiosity was sated and a laugh bubbled up from within.
Fearless (Pier 70 Book 2) Page 16
