by Hatch, Donna
“I’m happy to be of service to you. Good night, Alicia.”
“Good night, Cole.”
Inside his room, he waved away Stephens and sat by the fireplace, wondering if there would always be so much left unspoken between them. Or if he would ever be free to tell her the burning desires of his heart. First, he had to keep her safe. He paced, casting about for ideas, solutions, turning them over and discarding them. Then he plotted how he might lure the killer to strike again. This time, Cole would be ready. With his own kind of justice.
CHAPTER 26
“The Baron’s coach is here,” Dobbs announced as she entered the drawing room. “I’ve prepared the guestroom you requested.”
At the head housekeeper’s words, Alicia stood to go greet the baron. Nicholas. She needed to think of him as Nicholas.
But his arrival meant Cole would leave now.
Heavy of heart, she followed Dobbs downstairs to greet her husband. The baron’s valet, Jeffries, barked commands at Robert’s servants while others swarmed in the entryway. When the baron entered, the servants stutter-stepped, as unnerved by him as she’d been at first. Jeffries frowned at the servants and took a step closer to the baron. Whether he did this out of protectiveness for his masked employer, or as a show that his master was not a man to fear, she could not decide.
Jeffries nodded to her. “Milady.” He drew himself up importantly and turned to the baron. “You’re room is prepared, my lord, and your things will be situated to your satisfaction.”
“Thank you, Jeffries.”
Alicia arranged her mouth into a smile as the dark, masked figure turned toward her.
“Alicia, my love. You have become even more beautiful since I last saw you.”
His soft, muffled voice evoked an unexpected warmth within her. Awkwardly, she drew nearer to him. “It was kind of you to come, my lord.”
“I came the moment I knew of your loss.”
“You did?”
She could hear the smile underneath his mask despite the softness of his voice. “I did. I’m your husband. I should be at your side in times such as these.”
Touched, Alicia could barely utter, “Thank you.”
Cole came downstairs and greeted the baron. “Glad you could make it, Nicholas.”
“How could I not?” her husband said softly.
They exchanged a heated stare that left Alicia faintly alarmed. Nicholas offered his hand which Cole shook. They exchanged nods before parting. Cole cast a glance at Alicia, and exited through the front door.
She saw to it that the baron had settled comfortably in the room next to hers. Somehow, it seemed right to put him in Armand’s old room.
“The trip has tired me, love. I believe I shall rest before dinner.” The baron—Nicholas, she corrected herself—sat heavily on his chair inside his room and allowed Jeffries to remove his boots.
Alicia left his room. As she passed Cole’s open door, she glanced in. His valet was carefully packing everything into a trunk.
“Is he leaving truly so soon, Stephens?” she asked the valet, pausing at the doorway.
“I’m afraid so, my lady,” he replied soberly. “He has his reasons.”
Alicia nodded, heaviness settling over her. What a tangled mess. She wanted both men in her life, and yet refused to allow either one of them to love her. She hovered in the doorway while Stephens packed Cole’s clothing. “You are fond of him.”
Stephens’ mouth curved upward in a lopsided smile, brightening his already striking Romany features. “Aye. I’ve known him a long time. We served on the same ship. He saved my life more than once.”
“It’s more than that.”
He nodded. “He’s a good man. A good friend. One of the few who looked past my half-Romany breeding. After we came home, he offered me a position and was patient while I learned it.” He chewed his lip in indecision, his handsome, dark face pensive. “There is much more to him than people see.”
She nodded, heaviness deepening. “You’re right. They see a scandalous libertine, but he is much more than that.”
“Aye, milady.”
Alicia wondered how much Stephens knew of her relationship with his master. Probably much. “Take care of him.”
“Count on it, milady.”
After donning her bonnet, she went to walk in the gardens. The summer was waning and soon autumn would arrive. She greeted the gardener bending over his ‘lovelies’ and admired the flowers still in bloom. She made her usual circuit, passing, without a qualm, the place where the adder had bitten her, and completed the circle back to the house.
Cole, astride his white horse, cantered toward the stables. From her viewpoint in the gardens, Alicia imagined him as a knight of old riding his destrier, with a sword strapped to his hip and chain mail under his tunic, her favor tied around his arm, returning from slaying enemies or another noble quest.
He dismounted and led his horse toward the stables. He glanced her way, did a double-take and halted. As if he fought some inner battle, he stood motionless. As he moved toward her, looking wholly, dangerously male, his face was solemn, and his blue eyes were shielded.
Alicia moistened her lips. “Stephens tells me you’re leaving now.”
He nodded, his body stiff and guarded.
“It’s already late afternoon,” she protested with rising alarm. “You won’t get very far today.”
“There are plenty of inns along the way where I can lodge.”
“You could stay here tonight. Begin your trip back in the morning, or in a few days.”
His smile saddened, and she caught a glimpse of the hurt inside him. “It will be better this way. Without me reopening old wounds, perhaps you can begin a real marriage with your husband.” He quickly kissed her cheek and left without giving her an opportunity to reply.
She remained motionless in an attempt to sort out her thoughts. She failed, and fled back to the house out of fear of missing his departure.
While Cole’s servants loaded his things into the coach, Alicia hovered in the foyer and tried to think of something to say but nothing seemed appropriate. Or proper. Or honorable.
He stood at the top of the stairs next to the baron’s cloaked form, conversing in terse whispers. They clasped hands. The baron turned and went back down the corridor to his room. Cole descended the stairs. His eyes softened as his gaze locked with hers and his lazy grin reappeared. Still, underneath it, that hint of inner pain remained. Or was it resentment?
“You’ve come to see me off, have you? How thoughtful.”
“I…I wanted to thank you for escorting me here. And for—” she choked on her words, “—for all you’ve done to help me. Us.”
He kissed her hand without lingering. “I’m your humble servant, my lady. Goodbye.” He abruptly turned to the coach.
Suddenly desperate to detain him, she cried out. “Cole.”
With one foot on the step, he turned back, eyed her thoughtfully, and returned. He stood close enough that his masculine scent tickled her senses and the warmth of his body touched hers. His expression remained inscrutable but palpable tension radiated from his body. He waited while she struggled with her torn desires, the words she wished she could express.
Finally, she said, “Please don’t leave like this.”
“Like what?”
“Angry. Hurt.”
He traced her cheek with ungloved, gentle fingers. “I’ll be here if you need me.”
He turned and walked out of her life. She watched the carriage pull away, unable to shake the gloom that settled over her.
Robert slung an arm around her shoulders. “You’re pitiable.”
“Be silent, you fool.” She threw off his arm and walk purposefully away. She should look in on Hannah. She had been abed for three days and complained of a constant headache. Even for her, she seemed unusually ill.
Then perhaps she should go speak with cook about dinner. After all, now that her husband was here, her loyalty and attenti
on should be to him. What was Nicholas’s favorite dish? He never said. And he never ate with her, so she had no way of knowing. She could have asked. She should have cared enough to ask him a great many things. They often had pheasant for dinner, perhaps because he favored it. She would go ask Cook to prepare pheasant. And she should most certainly stop crying.
She dried her eyes and peeped in Hannah’s room. Her sister slept, her breath rattling a little, but her face appeared peaceful. Alicia tiptoed out without disturbing her.
During dinner, a well-rested Nicholas appeared to be in high spirits as he spoke to Robert and Alicia with more animation in his voice than he’d had this afternoon when he’d first arrived. He had taken his meal in private as was his custom but had joined them for conversation while they dined.
“How thoughtful of you to have Cook prepare my favorite dishes, Alicia,” he said with a smile in his voice. Then he turned to Robert. “I’m grateful for your hospitality, Mr. Palmer.”
Robert blinked, momentarily speechless, as if he hadn’t yet grown comfortable with the baron’s thoughtful ways. “You’re quite welcome here, my lord.” He turned an affectionate smile on Alicia. “Thank you for letting my cousin come. I would have remained in drunken oblivion if she hadn’t.”
It was partially true. Out of respect for her sensibilities, he only drank himself into a stupor late at night instead of all day long.
Alicia raised her chin. “I excel at awakening drunken sops with cold pitchers of water.”
Robert actually shook off his grief enough to laugh mildly. It was the first time she’d heard him laugh since she’d arrived.
Cole had made it easy for her to laugh, when she’d found it difficult to do so. There was such good in him. Protected behind a façade of a careless, reprehensible rake, and his annoying habit of tempting her to betray her husband, there was a better Cole, a man of honor and decency. He evoked strength and tenderness in her. He made her want to stop running away from her difficulties and face them. Guiltily, she glanced at the baron. Her husband. Nicholas. She needed to face her duties regarding him. Be his.
Robert bid them good night. His footfalls led up the stairs. She hoped he wouldn’t drink himself into unconsciousness the moment he was alone.
Nicholas’ voice broke the ensuing silence. “Come sit with me, my love.”
Alicia followed him into the study and did not resist when he took her hand in his glove. “Tell me what has you so distracted.”
“I am concerned about Robert and Hannah.” She related her fears that someone had killed her parents, brother, and now uncle. “Cole contacted an investigator, without my knowledge, I might add, and I fear Robert will be their prime suspect. He has already suffered so much; I don’t want him to endure anything more. And I worry that Robert will be the murderer’s next victim. Or Hannah.” The thought of sweet, gentle Hannah, helpless in the face of violence awoke something akin to panic.
“Or you,” Nicholas said grimly. “After the highwaymen incident, I suspected your life was in danger and alerted my servants. I did not speak of it to you because I did not wish to alarm you, but all my servants have been watching over you.”
Ah. That explained why she always seemed to be stumbling over a hovering servant.
“My coachman in particular is an excellent shot. We will protect you and your family, my love, do not fear. As far as the investigator Cole mentioned, he probably only went to his brother, Grant. I am sure Grant will expend his efforts in the right direction.”
His assurance comforted her, oddly enough, despite his imposing appearance, and her anxieties faded. As his hand held hers, a desire to touch his skin instead of the coldly impersonal glove seized her.
His thumb brushed lightly over the back of her hand. “You’re quite devoted to your cousin.”
She shrugged. “Robbie and I have been friends since childhood. He and Armand were inseparable. I always felt jealous when Robert came to spend the summers with us because then I was no longer the center of Armand’s world.”
His breathing changed and she imagined a smile underneath the mask.
Emboldened, she added, “They tried to lose me frequently, but more often, allowed me to tag along since I was difficult to pry away from my twin. Eventually, they accepted that I would always be there. Just the three of us. Hannah was so much younger, that I’m afraid we quite ignored her. And now, she and Robert are all the family I have.”
“You have other family now, Alicia.”
He meant himself. Guilt twisted her stomach that she’d failed to consider him family. “Of course, my lord.”
“Will you stay with me, Alicia?”
She hesitated, uncertain of his meaning.
“I know that you did not marry me by choice, but rather out of a need to help your family. I should do the honorable thing and release you, but I find that I am reluctant to let you go.”
He wanted her. An unexpected warmth stole over her.
His voice quieted. “It would not be my choice to do so, but if you desire, I will annul our marriage and you can return to London this Season and search for a husband of your choice. I realize that the last time I offered to let you stay in London while I returned to my country home, you thought I planned to drag you through a divorce or throw you out on the streets.”
Guiltily, Alicia twisted her wedding band. “The thought had occurred to me.”
“I’m grieved that you would think me so heartless. If you do chose annulment, you may stay in my London house and you will want for nothing. I will continue to care for you financially until you find another.” He paused. “I will, if you wish it. But that’s not what I desire. So now I ask you; will you stay with me, or do you ask me to give you up?”
Tears sprang to her eyes. She didn’t bother to point out that an annulment was nearly impossible. Perhaps he had connections she did not know, but not even the most important connections would make a clean annulment. Anything would be messy, public, scandalous, and humiliating for them both. But she said nothing. None of those things mattered.
The man behind the mask was not a monster. He was warm and caring with the needs of any man. And like a true gentleman, he was giving her a way out. He had treated her with kindness and more tenderness than any other man.
Except Cole.
But Cole had his motives. Nicholas had none, only a hope that his wife would develop affection for him. And be his wife in every way.
She did have affection for him. It was not pity, or duty, or guilt. She truly cared for him. A deep desire to soothe his hurts, offer him the solace of her body crept over her.
She leaned forward and took his hand. “Oh, Nicholas, of course I will stay with you. You are the finest man I know.”
His breathing became ragged beneath his mask.
She had to fist her hand to avoid ripping it off his face. How she longed to see emotion in his eyes, the shape of his smile. She could overlook his scars to the man underneath. Couldn’t she?
“That is the first time you have ever called me by my given name,” he said in a hushed voice.
She flushed. She had treated him badly and purposefully kept him at a distance.
He reached for her, but his hand paused mid-air. “May I…hold you, my love?”
Alicia paused, swallowed, and then leaned in toward him. He gathered her close, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her against his chest. Solid. Strong. There was nothing weak or crippled about the way he held her.
Dobbs came in quietly, checked the windows, banked the fire, and left without disturbing them. Sounds of her checking doors and windows before returning upstairs echoed in the empty halls.
“Oh, my love, how I’ve longed to hold you,” he whispered, his arms tightening around her.
His kiss on her cheek, still covered with cloth, warmed her further. When he released her, a foreign longing to be back in his arms crept over her.
“Perhaps we should retire.” His voice sounded tight, yet resigned.
/>
If she continued this insane game of caring for two men, she would end up hurting herself and certainly Nicholas. Cole, she wasn’t so sure about. He did seem to care. He had even said that he loved her. But that had been in a moment of passion. Probably just part of his seduction repertoire. There were times, though, when she thought he might truly care.
She gave herself a mental shake. Cole’s feelings were irrelevant. She had to stop thinking about Cole. She was with Nicholas. Her husband. Her mind needed to be here with him. As she looked up at the featureless face without a drop of dread, she came to her decision.
At her door, he pressed a kiss to her face, and began to turn away, but she placed her hand on his arm. “Nicholas.”
He froze. Even his breath seemed to still.
“Come inside.”
He turned. She would have given anything to see his expression.
“Are you sure?” he whispered.
“I’m sure. You have given me more time than I deserve. I need to be your wife. In every way.”
He still waited, as if watching her carefully. “I don’t want you to regret this.”
“I can’t imagine that I will. You are a good man. I trust you. I’m ready.” And she would hate the person she would become if she postponed this any longer.
He nodded and motioned her to precede him through the door. Inside her bedroom, he blew out all of the candles and placed a chair in front of the fireplace until the room was so dark Alicia knew she would never see his features clearly.
Nervously, she waited, uncertain of what to do. But when he came to her and enfolded her into his embrace, her fears quieted and she leaned against him.
He pulled off his gloves and touched her face with his bare hands. They were warm and gentle. “If I hurt you, or frighten you in any way, tell me and I’ll slow down. If you need me to, I will stop.”
She nodded. Her heart swelled with tenderness for him. Supremely gentle, and surprisingly passionate, he touched her and kissed her until she was never more certain of anything in her life but that she wanted him and wanted to be his wife completely.
