Reckless & Ruined

by Bethany-Kris

  “I made a fucking mess.”

  Alessa grinned. “I’d clean it up for you if I was there, you know.”

  “I shouldn’t ask. I shouldn’t.”

  “I would lick every drop of it—”

  “Fuck, don’t tease me. I can’t handle it right now,” Adriano warned.

  Alessa glanced to the side, noting the boxes in her room again. “Reality sucks.”

  “This was a good break, hmm?”

  “Very. Thank you.”

  “Never thank me for that, Lissa,” Adriano said. “Text me later, yeah?”

  “You know I will.”

  “And get rid of the texts.”

  Alessa rolled her eyes. “Of course.”

  “I love you, Lissa.”

  “Love you,” she echoed, still smiling.

  Hanging up the phone, Alessa clenched her fist tight around the device. A dirty thought passed through her mind, making her giggle. Before she could second guess her choice, she turned on the camera on the phone, knowing damn well her face was flushed, her makeup was likely smeared, and she probably looked thoroughly fucked. She shot off a picture and then sent it to Adriano before deleting all of their conversation in the messages and text files.

  Habits.

  She couldn’t break them if she tried.

  Not a second later, another text came through from Adriano: Fuck yes. Christ. We’re doing that again, but on video chat.

  Alessa laughed out loud.

  Whatever you want, Alessa typed back.

  Oh, I want, came the response. And then another dinged: I want it all.

  Damn.

  Alessa had a feeling Adriano was talking about more than just their phone sex. She hated that their entire world was so fucked up right now. She couldn’t help but be bitter that the people around them were so selfishly focused on their needs and moving themselves higher in the Outfit that no one gave a fuck about anyone else.

  Adriano was hers.

  He had always been hers.

  Why couldn’t she have him?

  Frustrated but refusing to let it ruin the natural high Adriano had just given her, Alessa went through deleting their last couple of texts. She quickly got redressed and decided to just get the awfulness over with by unpacking more boxes or as many as she could.

  The first three boxes were mostly knickknacks and framed photographs that had adorned the sisters’ living spaces. Nothing of much importance and most of it would have to be packed away in storage until they were into a new place.

  Popping open the fourth box, Alessa pulled out some clothes that needed refolding and put away. A garbage bag at the bottom of the large box, filled with dirty clothes, reminded her that she needed to do a load. The Trentini mansion had a full staff on hand to cook, clean, and take care of all the chores in between, but Alessa preferred to take care of her own things. She’d always been like that.

  Pulling the garbage bag out, she dropped it to the floor. The top popped open, showcasing the jumper she’d worn the day before. The white corner of something familiar stuck out of the left pocket. She knew better than to pry, but Adriano had given it to her.

  Right?

  Alessa’s curiosity got the better of her. She snatched the letter out of the jumper and noticed immediately that Adriano must have opened it and read it at some point. The wax seal was broken and the flap had been ripped.

  The familiar wax seal made her heart stop for a split second. She knew that signet because it was the same one that adorned several things in the Trentini mansion. Her grandfather had worn a ring with the crest embedded on the top.

  Their family crest.

  Alessa’s confusion jumped higher the longer she stared at the envelope. Clearly Adriano had read it and didn’t care if she did, too. Not if he had given it to her opened for safe keeping. Even still, a wariness settled in her gut as she pulled the letter out and opened it up.

  Instantly, she recognized the handwriting as her grandfather’s.

  Adriano,

  Should this letter find you, my boy, then I have clearly failed.

  And should this letter find you, then my end has been met.

  I saw you two once, under the willow. You and my Alessa. It was the day of her seventeenth birthday and she was smiling. All day, she hadn’t done much of that at all despite the people and the party. And then you came—she smiled for you.

  So, I saw you there and I knew. Love is an interesting beast and young love is even worse. As you should know by now, Adriano, a match of the heart doesn’t guarantee you a match at the altar. Not in the Outfit. Not to men who want only to better their position and their families. How could I deny her smile, though?

  I couldn’t.

  I call Alessa mine, you see, because I was never very good at turning away from Sara, even if it meant I was selfish and someone was sure to hurt. If my end has come before my second son’s, then I am sure that some of my misdeeds will come to light. Joel’s paternity, for one.

  He’s waited a long time for this.

  I own that—him.

  I tried.

  I am not sorry. Not for him though I tried.

  That woman gave me three children and I’ve not been able to claim even one of them. I was there to see their first steps, to give them my last name, and to provide for them in the best ways I could. I’ve loved them terribly … from afar and through their eyes, as a grandfather. Giving them more or admitting my wrongs would have put my family front row and center for Sara’s father’s anger and retribution, and for her shame. I’ve not been the boss forever, after all. I had a wife of my own to protect. Two women I adored that I couldn’t dishonour.

  And then there’s Joel. Even bad men have good intentions. Joel never has.

  I love my children, but I am not required to love their behavior.

  I’ve tried, and you should know that. I tried to give Alessa what would make her smile and that was you. For a time, that meant ignoring the passing looks, late nights, and the closeness. It meant excusing your affections as innocent. It meant covering your lies when you were not very good at it.

  Your father has never hidden his intentions. Not as well as he would like to think he has and certainly not as well as I’ve hidden mine. He would like to be higher and Alessa would never get you there. Even if she was the granddaughter of the Outfit’s boss.

  If this letter has found you, my boy, I’ve failed to give Alessa what makes her smile.

  I’m sorry.

  Don’t be the next one who fails her, too.

  —T. Trentini

  Alessa should have stopped reading long before the end. She should have folded the letter back up the moment that sinking feeling in her stomach wouldn’t leave.

  She didn’t.

  She couldn’t.

  In a few hundred words, a couple of short minutes, her entire life was different.

  Just like that.

  Her mother lied.

  Her grandfather lied.

  Her father …

  Alessa, shaking and with tears welling, roughly crammed the letter back inside the crumpled envelope.

  Adriano knew. He’d gotten the letter, read it, and didn’t say a thing. Instead, he’d given it to her so that she could read it. Sure, he’d told her in a way, but it still pissed her off all the same.

  He knew.

  … she smiled for you.

  I have clearly failed.

  Alessa couldn’t breathe. Her chest hurt and her heart ached.

  I’ve loved them terribly … from afar.

  Why?

  Alessa shoved the letter into her pocket, ignoring the way her hands trembled and how her tears fought to fall. She desperately tried to correlate the man she knew as her grandfather to be her father. She couldn’t.

  Peter Trentini raised her.

  But her mother? Married, sleeping with her old lover, and lying all the same. She birthed children and passed them off as another man’s. It was foul and wrong. So fucking wrong.
<
br />   Alessa grabbed her phone off the bed and dialed the first number she could think of. Because even if she was pissed, Adriano was still the only person she thought could withstand her confusion and anger.

  “A little early for you to be calling back, isn’t it?”

  “You knew,” Alessa said the moment Adriano picked up the call. “You knew and you gave me that fucking thing, knowing I would read it alone. That hurts. That makes you just like him. A goddamn coward, Adriano.”

  “Whoa, hold up.”

  Those three words froze Alessa’s blood in her veins. “Excuse me? Where do you get off doing that to me?”

  “Lissa, stop,” Adriano growled.

  “Why did you do that?” she cried.

  Hurt was not a good enough word for what she felt. It could never be enough.

  “Go. I’ll meet you in the car, Eve,” Adriano said, his voice faint. Then, he was back to the call in an instant. “I don’t know anything, Alessa. Talk to me.”

  “The letter—”

  “You read that?”

  Alessa’s tears poured faster. “Yes.”

  “Fuck, Lissa.”

  Oh, no.

  No.

  “You didn’t?” Alessa asked in a whisper.

  “You interrupted me in the bathroom. I only saw the first couple of lines. I figured you would get the hint and keep it hidden for me. My father was way too interested in the fact I had been included in the Will. According to the lawyer who gave the letter to me, it was intended for my eyes only and I was to make sure it remained private. Lissa—”

  “My life is wrong. It’s a lie.”

  Adriano cleared his throat on the other end, asking, “How?”

  “They lied to me.”

  “Who?” he asked.

  “My parents.”

  “Peter and Sara?”

  Alessa shook her head, knowing damn well he couldn’t see it. “No, Terrance and Sara. They’ve been doing this for years. They played a game around everyone else, and we were just products of it. Like fucking chess pieces. They moved us here and there as they saw fit to hide the awfulness of their lies.”

  “Slow down,” Adriano murmured.

  She couldn’t. “I was so pissed off at Joel because he called my mother a whore for her mistakes when she was younger, but he was right. Nothing he said was a lie, Adriano.”

  Adriano grew quiet on the other end for longer than Alessa liked.

  “Say something,” she demanded.

  “Your father is … was Terrance.”

  It wasn’t even a question.

  “Yes.”

  “Shit,” Adriano muttered.

  “And that makes my mother a lying wh—”

  “Don’t do that,” he interjected, his tone gentle and smooth. “Don’t ever do that to her or him, Lissa. You don’t get that right. I love you, pretty girl, all the way around the world and back but you don’t get to do that. You can’t possibly understand their situation or motives. Maybe it hurt and maybe it didn’t. Maybe they were selfish and wrong and foul. But you don’t get to say because they loved you. They always loved you.”

  “But—”

  “Deny it.”

  Alessa couldn’t. “This hurts.”

  “It will.” Adriano sighed before saying, “I want to read that. It was meant for me. Don’t get rid of it, please.”

  Her guilt climbed higher. “I shouldn’t have opened it.”

  “Yeah, well, I should have just kept it on me but it made me fucking edgy. Everything makes me edgy.”

  Alessa swallowed hard. “Everything?”

  A hint of a smile colored up Adriano’s words as he said, “Not you.”

  Yeah, she knew there was a reason why she called him.

  A knock on the bedroom door forced Alessa to end the call out of panic and nothing more.

  Abriella’s voice on the other side made Alessa scowl. “Ready to head over to the other wing?”

  “No,” Alessa said under her breath.

  That meant facing her mother and father while pretending nothing was wrong. Alessa didn’t think she could do that.

  “Alessa?” Abriella asked, knocking again.

  “Coming.”

  Alessa pushed the food around on her plate, keeping out of the light conversation flowing around the table between Peter, Sara, and Abriella.

  Did her sister know the truth, too?

  After all, Abriella had known about Joel’s paternity before Alessa did.

  All through the dinner, conversation between the family members had been mundane and safe. There was no discussion of the Outfit and certainly no talk about Joel. It was almost like Alessa’s parents wanted to keep all that nonsense out and pretend like it wasn’t happening.

  How in the hell was that even possible?

  She also couldn’t help but watch her parents. She’d always thought Sara and Peter loved each other. Sara said she loved Peter. Alessa’s upbringing was filled with memories of her parents being happy, close, and always together.

  They played their roles well.

  Even when they didn’t have to, Alessa supposed.

  “Alessa!”

  Jerking her head up, Alessa met her mother’s gaze from across the table. “What?”

  “I’ve called your name three times,” Sara said quietly.

  Alessa’s gaze snapped between her mother, father, and then her questioning sister. “I …”

  Need to get the hell out of here, her mind finished when her mouth wouldn’t.

  “Would it be all right if I headed back and say goodnight early?” Alessa asked.

  Adriano’s words were still repeating heavily in the back of her mind: Don’t do that to them.

  She understood why he said that. She knew that her life had been a good one with parents and grandparents who loved her dearly.

  Their secrets, on the other hand, were an absolute killer.

  “Is something wrong?” Peter asked. “I know you have a lot going on, Alessa, but we’re here to talk, sweetheart. What is the problem?”

  “Everything,” Alessa muttered, pushing out from the table and standing.

  Abriella cocked a brow. “Lissa?”

  “Please, excuse me,” Alessa said, spinning on her heel to leave her uneaten food and confused family behind.

  Alessa didn’t even make it to the locked corridor that separated the main wing of the Trentini mansion from her parents’ wing before Sara caught up with her.

  “Alessa!” Sara grabbed her daughter’s arm and pulled hard enough to stop Alessa from opening up the door that was usually locked. “Hey, look at me.”

  Alessa’s stare burned as she leveled it on her mother. “What else did you lie about?”

  Sara jerked away from Alessa as if she’d been slapped. “I beg your pardon?”

  “Do you really love Dad or have you gotten so used to lying every time you speak that even you believe it?”

  “Alessa …”

  “Was Abriella why everything changed one day?” Alessa asked, sneering. “Remember when you told me that, Mom? One day, everything changed. Was she why? Did you fuck up again like you did with Joel? Would Peter have known? Did you lie to get him closer, to make him believe? Was Abriella why?”

  Alessa’s questions and accusations came out as a rapid fire assault. One after the other. Bang. Bang. Bang. She couldn’t stop the word vomit if she tried.

  Sara stepped back from her daughter, pain and shame lighting up her familiar blue eyes. “Alessa, don’t you dare.”

  Alessa scoffed.

  Hard, loud, and rude.

  She didn’t even care.

  “Don’t worry, Mom. I’ll keep your secrets. I have to, right? Otherwise, we’re all just stuck swimming in your pool of disgrace, soaking in your embarrassment. None of us deserve that, not even Joel.”

  Sara’s tears began to spill, tracking lines over her cheeks. “I’m sorry.”

  “Are you?”

  “Yes,” Sara whispered, noddin
g. “But I loved him.”

  Alessa laughed. “Which one?”

  “Both.”

  Christ.

  Alessa couldn’t do this.

  Sara didn’t give her the opportunity to run away a second time. Alessa watched as her mother turned and disappeared back down the corridor without another word. It was only then that Alessa noticed her sister standing at the far end with her arms crossed. Abriella said nothing. Alessa didn’t need her to. The look on Abriella’s face, an expression churned with confusion and pain, was more than enough. She hadn’t known.

  She did now.

  “Abriella …”

  What could Alessa say? Her anger had spilled over. She’d clearly hurt her sister.

  “You’re right,” Abriella said. “You need to get out of here.”

  “I—”

  “Joel’s gone. Don’t leave the property. I’ll cover for you if he comes home early.”

  Alessa wasn’t sure what she should say. Abriella should’ve been angry, but she wasn’t.

  “Thanks,” Alessa whispered.

  “No,” Abriella murmured. “Thank you.”

  Alessa hit the damp grass running. She wasn’t entirely sure what she was running to, but it felt better than walking and far better than breathing.

  The phone in her hand buzzed.

  Over and over.

  She didn’t need to look at it to know what it said. She could feel his presence a mile away.

  I’m here.

  Under the willow.

  I’m always here.

  She’d texted Adriano and then waited as long as she could before she needed to just get the hell out of that house.

  Alessa had a feeling she’d always be running in one way or another.

  But she would make damn sure she was always running to him.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  Adriano held Alessa tighter, enjoying the silence of the darkness as it fell around them. Pulling the corner of the blanket snugger around Alessa, he let her sink into his embrace. He usually kept a blanket in the backseat of his Camaro, just in case. While it wasn’t cold for a late August day, the rain was enough to be chilly.

  “I was awful,” Alessa said.

  Adriano didn’t bother to ask what she meant. Alessa had already explained the confrontation she had with her mother and what little came of it. Nothing except more hurt.