Accidentally Ever After (Accidentally Paranormal Novel Book 11)

by Dakota Cassidy

  “But what does that mean? Will I ever see him again? I can’t see him if I’m not there, and I want to help find him.”

  Roz placed a hand on Toni’s and stared deep into her eyes. “You must heed my warning. ’Tis urgent you do so. There are hunters who seek you, milady. Ugly hunters who will take your life if they locate you. I can assist with a means for you to see your brother and your newfound friends again, but for now, you must stay here and learn to rule the kingdom with the prince, and they must return.”

  “And you must give me your word you speak the truth, Roz. I will not have my lady’s heart suffer,” Iver said.

  Roz instantly bowed in reverence. “My word, my prince. She will see her brother again. This I swear to you.”

  “Welp, I guess that’s settled, huh, kiddo?” Nina asked with a nudge, her voice weak and trembling. She began to pull the bluebirds from her hair and the one from inside the bodice of her dress, setting them on the edge of a broken chair, where they continued to chirp. “Promise me you’ll take care of these little buggers. I’m fucking attached.”

  Toni threw her arms around Nina’s waist and hugged her hard. “I promise. Now, we need to get her home, Roz. How do we do it? She’s sick and—”

  Nina thwarted Toni’s words by hugging her back with a weak squeeze. “You be good, kiddo. Whatever we need to do back in Jersey, consider it done. Okay? Go be happy, Sparkly Pants,” she gruffed out before letting go and knocking Dannan in his thigh. “You look out for Red here.”

  Dannan rumbled his consent, his wide chest expanding as he sucked in a breath of air.

  Tears fell from Marty and Wanda’s eyes as they held out their arms to her and gathered her and Nina into their embrace. “What Nina said. We’ll find Cormac, I promise. We’ll do whatever it takes to help him. But you have to promise us something. Stay put. Try not to fret. Become part of this world you’ve fallen in love with—learn it—learn how to be a good princess. Most of all, find your joy again, honey. You’ve been so long without.”

  Toni inhaled a shuddering breath as Iver tucked her back by his side. “So this is it?” she asked Roz on a squeak.

  They’d all been so tightly bound by the chore of getting her to the castle, she wasn’t sure what she’d do when she didn’t wake up to Nina complaining about her stupid hair, or when she could no longer tell Carl one of her mixed-up fairytales. “Everyone can go home now?”

  Roz nodded her silvery head, tucking Toni’s hand into hers. “For now, yes. But you will meet again and again. This I promise. All you have to do is ask.”

  Toni turned to face the women and Carl, leaning down she pressed a kiss to the top of his head as tears fell from her eyes and her heart swelled in her chest.

  “You be good, and the next time you read a story, think of me, huh, buddy?”

  Carl stomped his hoof and nudged her with his muzzle as she stroked his soft jaw.

  How did she say goodbye to these women? How did she let them go after everything they’d done for her? How did she tell them how much they meant?

  But she would. Because it was important to say it as often as she could, whenever she could. “And you three? How do I even begin to say thank you? I…” She choked on her words, almost unable to get them out. “I never would have made it here without your support. I haven’t had anyone on my side for a long time, but I’m damn glad it was you three and Carl who showed up when I needed someone the most. So…thank you. Thank you. All of you. I’ll never forget what you did for me—ever.”

  “Nor I, fair maidens,” Iver said, his voice cracking ever so slightly. “You are brave and noble, and I shall never forget what you have done for Shamalot by helping to save the good people and Toni from Angria’s destruction. You are always welcome, honored guests in our kingdom.” He bowed before the women then stroked Carl’s head.

  Nina balled her fist and gave Iver a gentle slug to his arm. “You be nice to Red here, Prince Flawless. Or I come back. Then I kill you. Got it?”

  Iver barked a laugh and pulled Nina into a hug. “I shall wait in fear of your reprisal, Discontent One.”

  Marty and Wanda, both smiling through tears, hugged him, too. Dannan gathered them all up and squeezed. “Come back soon, lasses, and I shall show ye the town as my guests. We’ll chase elves and drink thistleberry wine.”

  Everyone laughed, wiping their eyes.

  “If you are ready,” Roz prompted, pulling a hand mirror from the pocket of her lush coat.

  Toni hugged them all hard, one right after the other, pressing kisses to their cheeks. “Be safe. When you find Cormac, tell him I love him, and that I’m happy. So happy.”

  Toni stepped back then and whispered, “Merry Christmas,” smiling at Carl and the trio, their hair falling in wet clumps around their faces, their gorgeous gowns torn and soot-covered, tears glistening in their eyes. She waved, blowing them a kiss as Roz held up her hand mirror against one of the walls still standing in the ballroom.

  “Mirror, mirror in my hand—send them home to their land!”

  There was a second’s worth of a pause as Toni watched a spiral of green smoke twist upward and then a door appeared. A door that looked just like the door to the dressing room in the outlet store.

  They each stepped over the threshold, with Nina last in line. Clinging to Marty’s hand, she turned back and gave Toni the thumbs-up sign and grinned before the door disappeared into the smoky mist and they were gone.

  Iver pulled her close to his side as she let her cheek rest against his broad chest, tears spilling from her eyes. While she was thrilled to begin this adventure with her prince, she felt like a piece of her had just left.

  “Don’t be sad, milady. For they will return and we shall throw them a ball the likes of which they’ve never seen. I shall see to it myself.”

  Toni barked a laugh, drying her eyes with a torn piece of his shirt. “Hah! Bet Nina can’t wait to put on another ball gown.”

  Tipping her chin up with his fingers, he whispered down at her, “You are one fierce opponent, milady. You saved Shamalot today. I burst with pride.”

  She smiled up at him, loving the way she fit against his hard frame. “You saved me. You sacrificed yourself for me.”

  “And I’d do it again and again. You and your safety, your happiness, will always be my first priority.” He pressed a gentle kiss to her lips, making her warm all over.

  When she pulled away, leaning back in his arms, she said, “So I guess we have some talking to do, huh, Prince Iver? Owner of a castle the size of Hoboken, wielder of the sword of wrath and, I’m assuming, richer than God?”

  He grinned, lifting one eyebrow. “Was my heartfelt apology not enough?”

  “I think you skipped some serious details, Reindeer Whisperer,” she teased.

  “Maybe one or two,” he hedged on a chuckle.

  “So here’s what I was thinking. Why don’t we get to know each other a little better while we clean up this mess?”

  Iver looked around at the debris-filled ballroom and winced as frightened servants began to poke their heads into what was left of the entryway.

  “I do not know if we possess a broom large enough in all of Shamalot, milady.”

  Toni giggled, grasping his hand and pulling him over an enormous chunk of cracked marble. “Why don’t you show me your broom closet and we’ll see?”

  But he stopped her and pulled her tight to him. “Is this a saucy euphemism from your land of Jersey for something other than cleaning the castle?” he asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

  “You wanna find out?” she teased, running her tongue over his lower lip, loving that he stiffened against her.

  “Oh, indeed, milady. Indeed, I do,” he said, before stealing her breath and her heart by kissing her soundly.

  And as Iver held her close, Antonia Vitali from the land of intor-nets and cars that went vroom-vroom, knew without a shadow of a doubt, she’d found her one true love.

  * * * *

  And this storytell
er is thrilled beyond words to tell you, the prince and the soon-to-be princess rode off into the broom closet to discover the joys of euphemisms from the land of Jersey.

  Ahem.

  And they lived happily-ever-after.

  They really, really did!

  Epilogue

  Some time later in Shamalot time—and eleven and counting implausible paranormal accidents gone by—a not-so-vampire anymore vampire; a beautiful halfsie; a gorgeous blonde werewolf; a cuddly demon who’d discovered he had a kindred spirit in a blue ogre; a manservant who’d raised hell in the royal kitchens when he’d found out they knew nothing about garlic infusion; a sweet zombie who suddenly had the gift of a limited but thoughtful vocabulary; a blue ogre who was in the process of teaching his beloved princess the art of the sword; a king named Dick and his queen Jane; a former faux prince turned successful reindeer farming entrepreneur and his beautiful, expectant wife Resplendant; one very happily getting-to-know-her-prince, soon-to-be princess Antonia of the Fiery Hair; and one even happier, flawlessly gorgeous Prince Iver, all gathered at the under-construction Castle Beckett for a belated Christmas/Princess Party gathering…

  As Toni looked down the long table, set with beautiful china and silver, red and white flowers spilling from small vases on a lush tablecloth, at her friends and their friends, her prince at her right, the king and queen at each end, she beamed with gratitude.

  As promised, to wipe out the horrible memory of the last celebration gone awry, Iver had indeed hosted a ball for them, a belated Christmas ball fit for princesses Hollis, Charlie, Naomi, Noa, Penny and the twin princes, Alistair and Daniel; a ball set right in the middle of Castle Beckett’s recreation room—which was closer to the kitchen and, according to Arch, easier on his aging knees.

  They’d found out the world of Shamalot really was in a different time, and back in Jersey it was the week after Christmas, even though at the castle, it was now well into a bitterly cold January.

  The girls of OOPS hadn’t missed any of the Christmas festivities, according to Nina. They’d gotten back in plenty of time to uphold all of their traditions, and now they were here, with Toni and Iver, laughing, chatting, getting to know one another as they feasted and celebrated the miracle of friendship between two very different worlds.

  But who needed a reason to celebrate Christmas twice in one year anyway?

  Toni reached to her left and patted Nina’s hand as she dug into a full plate of chicken wings, smothered in buffalo sauce and ranch dressing.

  Toni lifted her red napkin and swiped at the vampire’s lips, wiping a smear of buffalo sauce. “So how’s human treating you, Nina?”

  Nina smacked her lips and grinned. “Fuck, it’s the bomb. Do you have an idea how long it’s been since I’ve had a chicken wing I didn’t upchuck? For-fucking-ever.”

  Toni observed Marty and Wanda, who looked to each other, their eyes worried, but they covered it up quickly and smiled at Toni.

  “It’s so funny how Nina suddenly doesn’t have plans when we want to shop these days, don’t you think, Wanda?” Marty asked, her eyebrow lifting.

  Wanda folded her hands in her lap. “Funnier still? The fact that we’re always shopping right near the Wing Stop. Crazy, right?”

  Nina threw another chicken bone down on her plate, where the carcasses of at least a dozen wings lay, and licked each and every one of her ten fingers with delight.

  “Shut the eff up, you two. I’m your damn dream come true. Isn’t this the shit you’ve always wanted? Me sharing in all your bullshit girl-bonding? Only now, I don’t have to sit and watch you two scarf down half a side of beef while I doze off from all that boring talk about lip gloss and cold cream. Now pass the damn mashed potatoes and shut it.”

  Toni barked a laugh and patted Nina’s thigh. “Girl-bonding achievement unlocked. I’m glad you’re enjoying food again, but don’t you miss being a vampire?”

  Nina plopped some mashed potatoes on her plate and shook her dark head. “Like I’d damn well miss the clap.”

  “So no…?”

  “Not even a GD little.”

  But that wasn’t ringing entirely true for Toni, so she waved Marty and Wanda over to the table where Arch had placed his equally infamous weenies in a blanket, an eye-rolling delicacy almost on par with the bedsport, if you listened to Iver.

  “How is she really? I mean, she’s all ‘yay wings and hamburgers’, but is that just a front?” Toni asked.

  Marty sighed, her shoulders lifting. “I don’t know. I can’t tell. I worry once she gets past the honeymoon stage of this, when she realizes what’s really happened, she’ll flip a nut. It’s like she didn’t even skip a beat.”

  Wanda nodded, tucking her hand to the side of her face. “Exactly. ‘Oh I’m a human again. Whatever’ has been her attitude since this happened.”

  Toni sighed long and bit the inside of her cheek. “How’s Greg taking it?” she wondered as she looked at the handsome man who sat beside Nina, chatting with Iver and Heath and Keegan.

  Wanda’s eyes became sympathetic. “He’s worried, too. He told Keegan the other day that she’s behaving like nothing’s any different. Except she calls Arch a hundred times a day to get recipes from him. It’s like she’s on a mission to scarf as much food as possible because she missed out on eating for eight years.”

  “Do we still think it was because she drank some of Angria’s blood that this happened?” Toni asked as she watched Nina cut into a slab of rare prime rib.

  Marty nodded, smoothing her hands over her red knit dress. “We do. It’s the only explanation.”

  After they’d returned to their homes in New York, everything had come to a head for Nina. One ugly, failed attempt to fly, where she’d landed in a thorny bush, got scratched up from head to toe and didn’t heal, the inability to use her fangs, and an almost broken wrist from trying to move a car illegally parked in front of her castle later, and she’d found out she was human again.

  “Can’t Greg just bite her and make everything vampire again?”

  Wanda shook her head. “Absolutely not. It goes against everything they believe in. And even if he was willing, she’s not. Or so she says.”

  “Hey!” Nina interrupted them, a napkin tucked into the neck of her hoodie, a bottled beer in her hand. “Quit talkin’ about me like just because my hearing isn’t supersonic, I don’t know you’re damn well doing it. I’m fine. Now let’s go celebrate this shit and quit whining. Isn’t that what we’re here for, framily?”

  Toni threw her arms around Nina’s neck. “That is what we’re here for, and if you’re happy, vamp, er…human, I’m happy. I love you no matter what.”

  She planted a wet kiss on Nina’s cheek, making Marty and Wanda laugh when she batted Toni away and stomped off with a grin to the table to attack more chicken wings.

  “Nina’s right. We’re here to celebrate being together again, and that’s all that matters right now. Have I mentioned how happy I am for you two lovebirds? Because I’m thrilled,” Marty said with a wide grin before heading over to help her daughter Hollis catch a fairy as they buzzed throughout the room.

  “Lady Wanda,” Iver said, wrapping his arm around Toni’s waist. “Any word on Cormac?”

  Toni sighed a happy sigh as she leaned into him. Iver had been very supportive in their efforts to locate Cormac. In fact, he was supportive about everything she did. He didn’t care when she ate something too spicy and hiccupped fire, burning his hair—or when she made his nose grow when she asked him if he’d been the one to leave his towel on the floor in the bathing chamber.

  He didn’t even mind when she jumped into the ocean and swam with Muriel. She’d retained the powers of the shoes once they were removed, and she’d set about helping King Dick secure them so no one ever got their hands on them again.

  Iver also encouraged her to learn how to use a sword, giving her tips when he wasn’t learning the business of running Shamalot from his father, who he’d become quite close to since
he’d returned home.

  Iver had made his peace with King Dick for making the deal with Jon with the help of Queen Jane, who smoothed the way. And Toni and Queen Jane had rather hit it off, spending their afternoons together while she taught Toni the fine art of being a princess and someday queen.

  Jane was funny and bright and far more than a woman who wore fancy dresses and had lavish teas. She was warm and loving and most of all, she loved Iver as much as Toni realized she did.

  Wanda reached out and squeezed his arm. “I think we have a location, if Roz’s vision is right. We’re on it as soon as we leave here.”

  Toni’s stomach jumped into high gear. “You will let me know if I can help, won’t you?”

  “Nope. I will not. You heard what Roz said, right? You’re in danger. You stay here at Castle Beckett for as long as necessary and we do the heavy lifting. Now, let’s focus on this awesome celebration. Did I tell you two kids how happy I am for you both?” Wanda asked, her smile beaming.

  “Did I tell you how happy I am that Archibald brought coffee grounds to last me a lifetime?”

  Wanda chuckled, giving her a hug. “You look beautiful and happy and healthy, and that’s all I can ask for. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I heard the words roast and beef. They call my name.” She blew them a kiss followed by a wink and wandered off to the far end of the table, where her husband smiled at her as she took her place beside him.

  Iver wrapped his arms around her waist from behind, nuzzling her ear and making her shiver. “I declare this particular ball a success. Well done, Lady Toni.”

  As Toni watched the people who’d become so dear to her eat, laugh and pass food, as she watched all the new faces she’d met today interact with each other while the children played, the girls in their princess costumes and tiaras, the boys with their plastic swords, fencing.

  As fairies buzzed about and Ellesandra read to the children, and Resplendant and Jon Doe smooched in a dark corner, and Dannan and Darnell told old war stories, she burrowed in closer to his chest.