Worth It All

by L. J. Swartz

  We walk on scene. My heart drops to my toes. There's a huge bed in the middle of the set. I take a deep breath looking to Rian. "You sure you're ok with this," she asks. I nod then walk to the make shift vanity. "Sadie," Victor says from behind me. I turn to him saying, "Yeah." He clears his throat then says quietly, "If it gets to be too much, I have a room over there you can hang in." I smile saying, "Thank you Victor." He nods then walks away. I get everything out and set up as Rian organizes her stuff on a table next to me. "I gotta say under different circumstances this would be exciting," she says nonchalantly. "You can be excited to be on a movie set, Ri," I tell her with a smile. She chuckles saying, "I mean watching Vance Matthews up close and personal filming a sex scene. You know they call him Mr. Sex Scene. He's that good." I bust up laughing saying, "I didn't know that no but, hey enjoy the goods babe. I sure do." She laughs pointing at me saying, "Just remember you gave me permission." I shake my head then get distracted as Vance walks on set in a pair of boxers. "Wow Sade good for you," Rian says next to me. She's right. He's something else. He walks to me with a smirk on his face. "I need pink," he tells me making me laugh. "Sit down stud," I tell him as I grab my cape and the hair color. I secure the cape then spray his hair. I get the pomade in and am about to tell Rian she's up when Makayla walks on set in flesh colored panties with pasties on her tits. "Wow," I murmur. Rian turns to me with wide eyes. "He's all yours," I tell her then walk to the food room. I grab a water uncapping it taking a drink. I grab one for Rian then walk back to set. Nothing anyone said could have prepared me for what I walk in on. Vance is sitting on the bed with Makayla straddling his hips. He has one hand in her hair and the other on her hip as he kisses up her neck. I almost puke. I turn away taking a minute. It's fake, it's not real. I tell myself. I turn back around. Tears spring to my eyes. She has her hands on his face kissing him. You can see her tongue plunging into his mouth. How the hell am I supposed to believe this is fake? He's kissing her, touching her, sitting there while she rubs herself against him. I walk to Rian holding a water out in front of her. "Thanks," she says to me. I can feel her eyes on my face. I will not look at her. If I do, I will cry. "CUT," the director yells. Makayla kisses Vance once more then stands up slowly looking over her shoulder at me. That bitch. I want to grab her by her stupid red hair and throw her to the ground. I watch as she struts toward us. "I need makeup Rian," she says sweetly. "I think my hairs good since Vance was running his hands through it," she says in my direction. I take a drink of water. I'm tempted to throw it at her. Vance is talking to the director. He keeps looking to me. He looks worried. How the hell do I look at him without picturing her on top of him. I can't tell myself it's fake anymore. It's not fake. The director walks away. Vance locks eyes with me. I look away then walk over to stand at my station. I have my head down when_ _he slides his hands onto my hips from behind. The heat pisses me off. How can I still be so affected by him after watching him touch another woman. "Sadie," he whispers next to my ear. I turn my head away from his lips. He spins me around searching my face. "Hey if you're not ok with this, say it now," he tells me taking my face in his hands. Makayla's right next to us listening. "No baby it's fine. It's just fake," I tell him almost choking on the word fake. Makayla pipes up saying, "If she can't handle it, she's not cut out to date an actor." Vance holds my gaze turning us so that his back is to her. He pulls me into a hug whispering, "I can stop this. I don't want you feeling uncomfortable." I cling to him. I want so badly for him to stop the scene, but I can't let that happen. "It's fine," I tell him placing a kiss to his shoulder. He pulls back then nods. There's hesitation in his eyes. I smile then kiss his lips quickly. I almost wipe my mouth. He was just kissing her. "Vance, Makayla," the director yells. They both walk back to the bed. "Ok Vance you on top," the director tells them. Rian stands next to me taking my hand in hers. I give it a squeeze watching as Makayla lays on the bed. Vance moves between her legs. "Boxers off the hips," the director tells Vance. Makayla reaches up pushing them down for him. I turn my head as Rian hisses, "Fucking bitch." I close my eyes telling myself he wants me, me not her. "ACTION," the director yells. It's like a scary movie. You don't wanna look, but you have to. I open my eyes watching as Vance kisses her fiercely running his hands up her sides into her hair. "More hip action Vance," the director yells. He legitimately looks like he's fucking the shit out of her, and maybe just maybe I would be fine with it if it wasn't for Makayla moaning. She's certainly enjoying herself. I'm done. I look for Victor. I spot him standing behind the director. I let go of Rian's hand walking toward him. He sees me coming for him and walks to me. He grabs my hand leading me to a room off to the right. "I'll come get you," he tells me then walks back out. I sit down on the small love seat in the corner dropping my head into my hands. I don't know how long I'm in there before I hear Vance yelling, "Where the fuck is she?" I look up as he flies through the door. "What the fuck babe," he says as he drops to his knees in front of me. He takes my face in his hands. I can't do it anymore. His touch is too much. I break. Tears fall from my eyes. "Baby I told you to tell me," he says sounding pained. "I couldn't then she'd have even more ammo against me," I tell him wiping my eyes. "She doesn't matter. You and me, we're the ones in this Sadie," he tells me. I shake my head no. "No Vance we're not. I'm not ok with this. Since it's part of your career, I just don't see how this can work," I tell him. It hurts so much. I didn't expect it to hurt so much. "No Sadie this is crazy. I mean yeah it's part of my job, but you won't have to stand and watch. You're just upset," he tells me leaning forward. I pull away from him standing up. "It's over Vance. Makayla's willing. She can be next," I tell him then walk from the room. He doesn't come after me. I'm grateful, kind of. I walk to the vanity and pack my stuff. "Where are you going," Victor asks. "Home. They can fire me if they want," I tell him. I walk to the parking lot pulling out my phone. "Sadie." His voice sends chills through me. I turn to face him. God he's so beautiful. "Take my car," Vance tells me holding his keys out. "I'm not taking your car Vance," I tell him dialing the cab service on my phone. He grabs my phone ending the call. "Take the fucking car Sadie," he says in a tone leaving no room for argument. I take the keys. He turns and walks away. I want to call out to him. I don't. I unlock his car and get in throwing my kit to the passenger seat.

  I pull Vance's car into his spot then rest my head against the steering wheel. I already regret calling it off with him. Makayla's probably in his trailer right now. What's stopping him from fucking her for real? Nothing. I reach over grabbing my kit from the passenger seat then get out locking his car. I walk to the elevators. The doors are open so I get in then push the 12. I huff then hit the 10. I get out on our floor and stop short. "Hey, I didn't think I'd see you," David says. "What are you doing here," I ask. "Hopefully taking you to a late lunch," he says with a smile. "I don't think that's a good idea David," I tell him walking to the door. "Please Sadie. It's just lunch," he says sounding like my David. I unlock the door then throw my kit in. I look up at him then lock the door before shutting it. "Just lunch," I tell him pointing at his face. He holds his hands up saying, "You got it." We walk to the elevator and get in. "So how's it going," he asks as he hits the lobby button. I shrug saying, "Good." He takes my chin in his hand turning my face to him. "What's wrong Sade," he asks running his finger tips of his other hand down my face. I look into his eyes. Why did he have to turn out to be such an asshole? "Nothing David. Just a hard day," I tell him. He smiles moving his hand to cup my cheek saying, "God you're beautiful. I miss you." I swallow hard. The doors open. I hear, "What the fuck, Sadie." I turn to face Vance. "What are you doing here," I ask him surprised to see him. The doors go to close. He slams his hand to it stopping it then grabs my hand pulling me out. David steps out next to me saying, "We're going to lunch. You got a problem with that?" I look at him giving him a look then look back to Vance. "You should be on set," I tell him. He huffs saying, "You know nothing about me if you think I would go back and finish that fucking scene knowing how m
uch it bothered you. What'd you think I'd do Sadie? Take Makayla to my trailer the second you were gone?" I shrug biting my lip. "God you did didn't you," he barks. He turns to David saying, "Hey thanks man for being such a dick. Now she thinks I'm gonna fuck her over like you did." I widen my eyes looking to David. "Are you staying with him or going with me," David asks staring down Vance. "Staying David. I'm sorry," I tell him. He nods saying, "Call me if you change your mind." He looks down at me then leans down placing a kiss to my cheek. I look to Vance. He looks lethal. David huffs then walks out the doors. "You were seriously going to lunch with him," Vance asks pointing over his shoulder with his thumb. "It was lunch, Vance," I yell silently daring him to say something else after what I just watched him do. He holds my gaze a minute. I want to wrap my arms around his neck. Feel him close to me. "Sadie I don't want us to be over," he tells me. I huff throwing my hands in the air. "Vance I can't. I'm not that girl that can just stand by and watch her boyfriend fake fuck another woman. There may not be penetration, but everything else was real. Your lips were on her body, your hands touched her, she held your face. It was intimate. I didn't expect that," I tell him shaking my head as I look to the side. "I'll quit Sadie," he tells me dead serious. I look to him. "No you won't because your career is more important than that," I tell him turning pushing the up arrow. I hold his keys out saying, "Go back to work Vance." He swallows hard then asks, "That's what you want. You want me to walk away from you? Just go back to work?" I take a deep breath saying, "Yes." I'm lying. He knows I'm lying as he searches my face. I take his hand in mine putting his keys into it. He huffs then turns walking out the door. The elevator doors open behind me. I step in pushing the 10. I need this day to be over, now.

  "Sadie," Rian calls out as she walks through the door. "Hey," I say as I walk from the kitchen. "Well that was one hell of a day huh," she asks. "Look Rian I'll call the salon that offered me a job a few weeks ago and see if they still have an opening," I tell her. I will not mooch off her and her parents. "So you're quitting then," she asks confused. "Uh, well I. I'm sure I'm fired. I just walked out today," I tell her. "Oh no sweetie you're not. Victor told everyone you got sick. Vance confirmed it after he came back from seeing you," she tells me. "I see," I tell her walking to the couch sitting down. "That's good right," she asks. I shrug. I assumed I would be fired. Part of me wanted to be, so I won't have to see Vance anymore. "He told me you broke it off. That when he got here you were with David," she yells me. "It wasn't like that," I tell her defensively. "I know I just, he really likes you Sadie. He refused to do anymore sex scenes. Then got into it with the director. He threatened to walk from the movie altogether," she tells me. I stand up and yell, "What the fuck." I walk to the door calling out, "I'll be right back." I close the door behind me walking to the elevator. The doors open. Vance steps out sliding his hands into his pockets then says, "Hey." I don't hesitate. "What the fuck are you doing? I called us off. Why the hell would you threaten to walk from the movie," I bark. He reaches out for me. I step back. He looks hurt. "Sadie I'm gonna win you back. Why would I go and do something I know hurts you? That won't help my cause one bit," he tells me with a smile. "You're crazy," I say frustrated. "For you," he says taking another step toward me. My heart skips. I step back. "Stop Vance, just stop. We're never gonna work. You're a famous actor. I'm a hairstylist. There will always be another Makayla. I can't take it," I tell him. He looks to the floor whispering, "I knew it." I grab his chin pushing his head up. "Knew what Vance," I ask angrily holding his gaze. "That it was too good to be true," he says angrily then turns. I grab his arm spinning him around. "I want you more than you could ever know," I blurt. I drop my hand from his arm. I'm not even sure why I said it. His chest is heaving as he searches my face. I step toward him. He wraps me in his arms pulling me to him. I wrap my arms tightly around his neck. "I don't know what to do," I tell him as tears build in my eyes. "We'll figure it out together ok," he whispers. I close my eyes. Tears roll down my cheeks. "Why do you wan," I start and stop. He pulls back taking my face in his hands. "Why do I want this so much," he asks. I shake my head yes. "I never thought I would feel for someone ever again. Then there you were walking through the parking lot. God I wanted you to second I laid my eyes on you. Don't push me away," he says leaning forward slowly. I part my lips gasping as he moves his between mine. I wrap my arms around his neck pulling myself up his body. He groans pinning me to the wall. I run my hands into his hair as he slips his tongue into my mouth. I moan against his lips. He pulls back looking into my eyes expectantly. "I don't want you making decisions about your career based on," I start, he kisses me fiercely shutting me up literally making me forget everything else. After I don't know how long, he pulls away saying, "Your room or mine?" I smile saying, "Right here, right now." His eyes go wide. I hear his zipper. I have on shorts, so I reach down moving them aside as Vance pushes the front of his pants down. He pulls himself free positioning himself at my entrance. I close my eyes as he slides inside me. I wrap my hands around his neck linking my fingers. He moves in and out of me at a slow pace. I wrap my legs around him linking my ankles at his ass pulling him in deeper. He groans resting his forehead to mine. "Vance," I whisper grazing my lips across his. He tilts his head looking into my eyes. "Fuck me hard. We're a bit exposed here," I tell him with a smile. He holds my gaze as he pulls from me slowly then slams into me hard. "Oh god," I call out. He pumps into me fast and hard. I dig my finger nails in a his nape groaning into his neck as I near my orgasm. He turns his head kissing my forehead. I move my hands to his face pressing my lips to his. He flicks his tongue into my mouth as he pumps into me. I'm on sensation over load. Part of me doesn't want it to end. I don't care how exposed we are anymore. "Vance, stop," I tell him. He stops moving, but stays buried inside me. "I want this to last," I tell him. He smiles pulling from me slowly then slides back in just as slow. "Oh god," I whisper. He buries his face in my neck as he keeps up the same slow sensual pace. I kiss his neck running my hands into his hair holding him close. I can't take it anymore. I fall over the edge. A slow orgasm spreads through my body going on and on. I stay up high in pleasure as he slowly claims me. "Vance, please," I beg for what I don't know. He picks up the pace throwing me immediately into another orgasm. My arms and legs are tingling as he groans loudly releasing into me. "God that was crazy," I say breathless next to his ear. He lifts his head up looking into my eyes. "So we're," he asks. "Together," I tell him knowing damn well I wouldn't have lasted long being away from him. He smiles then kisses me slowly. I hear the elevator coming. He pulls from me sitting me on my feet. He gets himself put away and zipped up as the doors open. I step around him and yell, "What the fuck." He turns behind me placing his hands on my hips. Makayla steps from the elevator with a smile on her face. "Hello Sadie," she tells me then looks to Vance winking. "What the fuck do you want," I bark. Vance squeezes my hips. I glance back at him saying, "You deal with her." I walk to the door opening it. "Sadie wait," she calls out. I look at her then to Vance then back to her again. "I want to tell you both how sorry I am for my behavior. I had hopes we could maybe be together Vance, but I see now that she means a great deal to you. I want you happy," she tells him with tear rimmed eyes. I roll my eyes opening the door. I walk into the living room. Rian calls out, "How'd it go?" Vance walks through the door saying, "Good I hope." She smiles at me. Then winks at him. "Hey who's side are you on," I say to her amused. "Yours, but come on we both know you wouldn't have lasted more than a day being away from him. By the way, I heard your little make up session out there. HOT," she says wiggling her eye brows at us. I feel my face heat with embarrassment. Vance walks to me bending down in front of me wrapping his arms around my legs throwing me over his shoulder. "We're off to make up more," he calls out as he walks back the hall to my room. "Have fun," Rian calls out.

  It's been about two weeks since sex scene day. I'm still not happy about him doing them, but it's part of his job. We agreed that I will never again be on set while he's fil
ming one. Outta site, outta mind. Makayla has been nauseatingly nice to me. I want to punch her. I know she's only doing it to stay on Vance's good side incase we break up. It's Saturday. I'm going somewhere with Vance. He won't tell me where. "Sade," he calls out from in my room. I peek my head out around the bathroom door saying, "Be right out." He always looks so good. He has on a simple black V-neck, burnt red pants, and his black boots. He smiles walking toward the door. "You stay right where you are mister," I warn. He doesn't listen of course. He pulls open the door then grunts as his eyes trail down my body. I'm in nothing, but a pair of panties. "God baby you look gorgeous," he tells me stepping toward me. I take a step back saying, "Vance you said we have to be there by 4. If you touch me, we'll never make it in time." He smiles saying "You cannot expect me to walk away from you when you look like that." I smile saying, "Actually yes I do. If you had stayed in my room like I asked, I would be dressed by now." He steps toward me again. I want him, but it's already 3:15. He slides his hands to my hips leaning forward grazing his lips up my neck. I wrap my hands around his neck. He lifts me up sitting me on the vanity stepping between my legs. Well this is happening now, so I reach down unbuttoning his pants. I slide his zipper down with one hand as I reach into his boxers pulling him free with the other. I pull him forward as I open my legs. He holds my panties aside then slides inside me. "God you always feel so good," he hisses as he buries himself in as far as he can go. I place my hands on either side of his neck looking into his eyes as he moves in and out of me. "You're stunning," he whispers then leans forward kissing my lips. I slip my tongue into his mouth groaning as he slams into me hard. I bite his bottom lip moving myself around him. He groans then parts his lips slipping his tongue into my mouth, licking the roof of my mouth. I could care less about where we're supposed to be going now. I want to stay here like this with him all day. He runs his hands up my thighs, my sides, to my face holding it in his hands. I rest my hands on his hips holding myself tightly to him. He stills inside me. I part my lips floating anyway on emotion as he claims my mouth slowly. He pulls from me slowly making me gasp. I feel him smile against my lips. I lick his top lip smiling as he moves his lips between mine. He groans then slams into me hard and fast. "Oh yes," I call out breaking our kiss. "More," he asks in a hoarse sexy voice. I shake my head yes then moan loudly as he pumps in and out of me. He's relentless sending me into my orgasm. "VANCE," I yell as heat shoots through my body making my legs and arms tingle. "God you're so gorgeous when you come," he tells me. I look to him watching as he tenses up. He grunts as he releases inside me pumping in and out of me slowly a couple more times. I wrap my arms around his neck pulling him to me. He nuzzles my neck sighing before placing a kiss there. He pulls away saying, "Ok we can go now." I laugh. It's my turn to a groan as he pulls from inside me. He helps me from the counter then smacks my ass as I walk into my room to get dressed. I pull out a grey long sleeve henley, black skinny's, and red ballet flats. I'm reaching into my bra drawer when Vance grabs my hips saying, "It's so tempting to blow off my brother and keep you to myself the rest of the day." I turn to face him with my bra in my hand. "You're taking me to meet your brother," I ask hesitantly. He searches my face then says, "Yeah he wanted to meet you. Is that ok?" I smile saying, "Yeah of course. I just didn't expect to be meeting your family already." He smiles then kisses me quickly. He pulls away saying, "I'll spare you meeting my parents until it's absolutely unavoidable." I give him a questioning look. "Look Sade my parents aren't exactly mom and dad of the year. You're not missing out," he explains then steps back sitting on my bed careful not to sit on my clothes. "Hey I'll meet whoever you want me to meet or not for that matter," I tell him as I slip my bra on hooking the back. "You could have been a model you know that," he tells me watching my every move as I reach for my shirt. "Ok mister, what are you sucking up for? Is your brother a total douche bag or something," I ask slipping on my shirt then grabbing my pants. He chuckles saying, "No Declan's awesome. I was just paying my ungodly hot girlfriend a compliment that she didn't take very well." I button my pants then step between his legs taking his face into my hands saying, "Thank you for the compliment baby." He smiles tilting his head up. I move my lips to his kissing him slowly. He groans. I step back quickly before he can grab my hips shaking my head no. "We're leaving," I tell him then slip on my flats. He stands holding his hand out to me.