Ask No Tomorrows

by Hestand, Rita

  No answer came!

  For a month Riley wouldn’t come out of her room. She barely ate. Her father became worried that she too might fall ill.

  When she finally came out of her room she saw the worry in her father’s face and went to hug him. “I’m sorry, daddy. Don’t worry, I’m fine, I’ll show you…”

  After that, Riley donned pants and shirt and helped her father every day on the ranch, staying as close to him as she could, afraid that any time he might leave her too. She became his little wrangler. He seemed to understand why she so needed to be with him and never once sent her away. Looking back at it, she realized how tolerant he had been, and in some strange way they had shared the sorrow of losing her mother together.

  Riley learned to ride better than most of her father’s hands, and shoot with accuracy. She also learned to rope calves and brand them. She even learned to castrate, which surprised all the hands. There were no jobs on the ranch too dirty, or too hard for her to try. Deep down Riley knew why she had to learn to do those things. She couldn’t bear not being with her father. She’d wanted his praise, his attention, his love and she got it in strange little ways. She had learned to read a man’s feelings that way.

  “Looks like my little girl is more than capable of taking over this ranch, than even I had hoped,” he had declared one day as they were breaking broncs.

  An unexpected thunderclap interrupted her thoughts again and she cringed. Why had she become so afraid of storms? Nothing scared her other than storms and storm cellars, that is until Harry took over her ranch. She shivered. Somehow she had to learn to control her fears, she knew that.

  Why had she become such a coward? If she could handle a huge ranch, she could handle a little old storm, couldn’t she?

  The room lit up all around her as lightning streaked through the air, seeming to slice it into pieces as the thunder would reverberate the walls.

  It was so loud she couldn’t avoid it. She sat up in her bed, brought her knees up and clasped her hands around her legs and held herself tight. She would not be some screaming meme.

  She shivered. She needed to be with Sam. He knew how to quiet her. But relying on Sam wasn’t a good idea, she knew. Sam would leave her someday and then what would she do? No, her fears were her own, and for her to get rid of somehow. But how did one go about getting rid of fear?

  But she silently scolded herself for being such a coward. It was only a storm, and she was in a building. However, she could almost feel the building sway at the next clap of thunder, resurrecting her fears.

  The thought of Sam not being around nearly paralyzed her. What would she do without him? She’d come to rely on him and his judgment.

  Garbed in her flannel gown and a robe, she swung the door open. Peeking out in the hallway, she didn’t see anyone about. But the minute she stepped out, the clerk saw her and asked if there was a problem.

  “No…it’s just the storm. It’s so loud, it scared me.”

  “Sometimes it helps to keep a light on when it’s this bad,” the clerk suggested.

  “A light, okay…yes, of course.” She turned back to her room and immediately lit a lamp by her bed. It illuminated her room. It did make the lightning less threatening, but it did little for the rackling and roaring of the thunder that came after.

  She leaned against the doorframe. She wanted to see Sam, but with the clerk about she doubted she could get past him without him seeing.

  She’d wait until later.

  She stood about, restlessly walking the floor.

  Two hours later, she peeked out again. The lights were out everywhere. She remembered Sam’s room was on the first floor and she didn’t hesitate to patter down the stairs. A cat crossed her path and she nearly tripped. She covered her mouth to keep from screaming.

  She couldn’t remember which room Sam had taken, but she went to the end of the dark hall and stopped. Taking a deep breath, she barely tapped on the door.

  No one answered. She tapped again. But afraid she would wake others she opened the door and called out his name. He didn’t answer.

  She went inside. She closed the door carefully so as not to wake him.

  In the darkness she groped to find the bed. When she bumped into it, she sat down. “Sam…?”

  No answer.

  “Sam…” she said a little louder this time.

  Still no answer.

  She reached her hand and searched around the bed for him, but he wasn’t there.

  Where could he be? Had he thought better of it and left? The thought galvanized her to the spot. What would she do when Sam decided to leave? For she knew he wouldn’t stay forever. She curled herself into a ball and snuggled into the covers.

  She leaned her head against his pillow and breathed in the scent of him. It gave her comfort. No man, save her father ever made her feel safe except Sam.

  But where was he?

  Bereaved that he might have fled without her, she cried.

  “Oh God, I run him off. I don’t blame him. But I miss him so…If you let him come back, I promise God, I won’t do it again.”

  Sometime in the night she got up and went back to her own bed. She disrobed and slipped under her own covers once more, but as she peered out the window at the storm, she saw Sam sitting in a corner, barely covered by the roof overhang from the storm. He sat in a chair, holding his gun and occasionally glancing in. He was watching over her. And he was soaking wet. Rain dripped from his hat brim to his clothes, but he just sat there. And Nodog was there by his side.

  She sighed. “They are watchin’ over me?” she shrieked and covered herself once more. “My God, he’s watching over me. How can I not love him for carin’ so much?”

  A rush of love hit her so hard it nearly made her head swim, and confirmed what she had thought earlier on. Sam loved her. She stared at him a long time, then lay down, closed her eyes and let the feelings swamping her subside.

  How could she leave him alone now? He was taking care of her. He’d taken care of her all the way.

  Through the night, she woke up and glanced out the window and there it was, somehow the dream catcher was pinned to the window and Sam and Nodog were still outside. The dream catcher was inside though. How had that happened? She wanted to run out and hug him and kiss him and tell him how much she appreciated it, but the one thing he didn’t want was someone to catch them in the clutches. Their eyes met through the glass window that next morning. For a long moment they just looked at each other. Then he finally left and went to his room. She wanted to run down and hug him, but she couldn’t, for it was daylight and people would see. She didn’t care, but he would.

  Riley’s trip to the lawyer’s office the next morning was not productive at all. And not at all what she expected.

  “Well you see, they thought you were dead,” the lawyer began, glancing at her up and down. “So your assets are unobtainable until you appear there in person and are declared legally alive. In other words, I can’t get anything accomplished until you have either established yourself as alive, or someone in your family comes to claim it. They have to see you in person before they’ll release it.”

  “See me in person? Is that the only way to get everything settled?”

  The lawyer seemed to speculate on that question before answering. “No…not the only way, but as your lawyer I have to explain all this to you. There is another way.”

  “But it’s too dangerous to go back. If they see me they’ll kill me,” she protested.

  The lawyer saw her dilemma. “Well, the only other answer is if you have a relative that could go to the bank for you. Someone to collect the money, I could draw up the papers and make it legal for them to get the money out of the bank. If there is a will, it will be simple.”

  “I don’t have a will…” she began.

  “Who was to inherit the ranch if something happened to you?”

  “My cousin Ethan Morgan of course, he’d be the next of kin. He’s listed in the will directly
under me.”

  The lawyer pulled on his collar as though it bothered him and sat down behind the huge desk.

  “Then I guess I’ll have to write him and see if he can come,” Riley said, her face a wad of frowns and confusion as she squeezed the handkerchief between her fingers.

  “That’s part of the reason I came to see you, to help me figure out how to legally obtain my own money and land again.” Riley tried to be tactful and gracious.

  “Ethan Morgan, I’ll write that down so I can have papers drawn up for you then.”

  “Thank you, that would be helpful, and I must contact my cousin,” Riley explained, glancing down at her kerchief in her hand; she fondled it and tried to appear composed as the lawyer seemed to watch her every move. “It would take a few days.”

  “Would he come all the way out here?”

  “I don’t know. It’s a great sum of money and I must get hold of it. I’ll be in touch. Thank you.” She dismissed him and hurried out of the room. Feeling lost and helpless again, she walked out into a crowded room full of people that barely gave her a glance.

  The storm had made a mess of the streets and she had to lift her skirt to get across to the boardwalk without getting muddy.

  Sam wasn’t in the room though when she returned and she knew she couldn’t go looking for him just yet, it was too early. He was probably sleeping since he’d been up all night. She flopped down on the bed and shook her head. What was she going to do now? She couldn’t just return out of the blue, could she?

  She needed to talk to Sam, and see what he thought.

  Stopping by the local café, she ate alone. How she wished she could dine with Sam. She hated being alone. She remembered the last time her father treated her to a night in town and took her to the only place to eat in Crossbow. She’d been fifteen at the time and she and her father had a huge fight about her going to an all-girls school back east. She realized now that he had tried very hard to be both mother and father to her. Perhaps she should have gone, but she wanted to stay with her father.

  She moved the ham and eggs around in her plate, not tasting them.

  As she was about to leave she noticed two cowboys staring at her and talking and tried her best to ignore them, but they followed her. She didn’t recognize either of them but it was plainly obvious they were following her.

  When they accosted her near an alleyway, she screamed. They tried to get hold of her, but she struggled against them, managing to kick one in the shin, the other she punched him in the nose and after he recovered he grabbed her harder.

  “Leave me alone…” she hollered.

  “Get her purse…” One of them swore when she bit him.

  “Look you little hell-cat, you better stop it, or I’ll kill you, you understand.”

  In the distance she saw Sam strolling toward her, his face a storm of reactions. They couldn’t be seen in public together, she knew that. She had to handle this herself.

  With a quick knee jerk she nearly paralyzed one of them and the other saw Sam coming and ran.

  Without a backward glance at Sam, she straightened herself and walked away, toward the hotel. She ignored the fact that they must have bruised her ribs and hurt her arms.

  Tears ran down her cheek as she entered the hotel lobby. The clerk saw her and shouted, “Is something wrong, miss?”

  “N-no, I’m fine.” And she continued on her way.

  In her room, she threw the small purse on the bed and stood shaking.

  “You okay?” Sam asked, coming from the shadows of the room.

  Wanting to be strong she nodded numbly, but inside she was shaking.

  “What did they want?” Sam asked, coming to stand in front of her.

  “My money, I guess…” She swallowed hard and finally looked up into his face.

  “How’d they know you had any?” Sam frowned.

  “Well, when I went to pay for my meal, I took out a large amount.” She saw Sam’s frown. “Well, I couldn’t help it, that purse is way too little…”

  “You’ve got to be careful. You can’t go flashing a bundle of money around. This isn’t some country town, it’s the big city and there are too many who would knock you in the head for a dollar.”

  “I’m sorry. I guess I didn’t think.”

  He stared at her, and he saw her tremble. He rolled his eyes, tried to turn away, but the look in her eyes held him. Slowly he took her into his arms and comforted her. She began to shake uncontrollably now. Tears she didn’t want to shed gushed forth.

  The tears gushed from her now as he tried to console her.

  Sam put his chin on her head and held her against him. His lips grazed her head and she looked up and into his eyes. She saw the mirror of her own feelings in his eyes.

  “Dammit, Riley…” he cursed and then his head bent and he pulled her fully into his arms, just before he covered her mouth, possessively. He branded her with those soft comforting lips. She melded herself against him, feeling the rock hard of his body, needing those big strong arms around her. She sighed into his mouth as their kiss deepened.

  “Oh Sam,” she sighed as he roused her passion, her desires and her love.

  “I thought they’d hurt you…” he barely managed to whisper between kisses. The desperation in his voice told her how much he cared. “I wanted to kill them for hurting you.”

  “I’m better now…” she sighed, clutching him and tiptoeing to put her lips to his once more. “I’m always better when you hold me…”

  He grabbed her tighter and kissed her with surprising mastery. His tenderness made her quiver.

  Slowly, he let their bodies drift apart and kissing her one last time, he let her go, and stared at her intently, his eyes going over her lazily as though drinking her in.

  After a long silence, she moved away from him, but her body was still trembling from his heated embrace.

  “Did I do right, Sam?” she asked in a hushed whisper.

  “It’s okay, you handled it well. I’m proud of you. I didn’t know you had that much fight in you.”

  “I’m not talking about that, I’m talking about just now…I’ve…never kissed a man before you…Sam. Not since I was five years old…”

  “You did fine, Riley…too fine…” He cleared his throat and turned away from her. “And we don’t need to go there no more…”

  “Oh we’ll go there Sam…as long as we are together, we’ll go there, and you know it as well as I do. It’s been this way from the start of it, this feeling between us. Don’t shush me Sam, I gotta say I’m convinced this thing between us isn’t going away. In fact it just gets stronger and stronger. When you kiss me, I fall apart. You don’t kiss with your lips Sam, you kiss with your heart, and my heart knows it. I feel it inside me, growing like a fire I can’t put out. You won’t admit it, but I have to, I feel crazy inside. You won’t say the words. You won’t ever say the words. But you can’t hide it from me. I was green-eyed jealous when you kissed Mavis. I wanted you to kiss and touch me like that…She had something I didn’t. She was black and you could go with her so easily.” Her breathing was erratic, as though she had to purposely draw breath just to speak of it.

  “Riley…I didn’t go with her.” He shook his head, but when their eyes met across the room he couldn’t deny it, and a slow burning smile lit her face.

  “No…you didn’t, did you?” She shook her head, and steadied herself. “You don’t have to say the words, Sam. I know. I know every time you kiss me how you feel, and I know too that because I’m white you’ll never say the words to me.”

  She shrugged. She went to stand in front of the window. “But right now we got bigger problems.”

  “What now?” Sam asked, following her.

  “The lawyer says I’ve been declared dead. In order to get my money I’ll have to either go in person to the bank and have myself declared alive or send someone in my place to get it,” Riley said, shaking. “He said he could draw up the papers if I could have someone else go
in my place. A relative.”

  “I guess that leaves me out. Don’t think they’d believe that.”

  “No.” She almost laughed.

  Sam shook his head. “Just gets better and better, doesn’t it?” He flopped on the bed and looked at her. After a long silence, he nodded slowly.

  “I got an idea,” Sam began.

  “Good, ‘cause I’m running out of ideas.” She turned to look at him.

  “No one said this was gonna be easy,” Sam assured her.

  “I know. What’s the idea?” she asked.

  “Do you have any real kin?” Sam asked.

  “Sure, a cousin up north. He would come if I asked him. He was in the will too.” She nodded. “I just didn’t want to ask him is all…”

  “Why not?”

  “‘Cause I barely know him and it would be a great imposition. He’s a doctor and as you know doctors are needed people.”

  Sam nodded. “Well…you don’t have to. If you have a cousin, all you have to do is impersonate him.”

  “You mean show up…looking like a boy again?” Riley screeched.

  “Not a boy, a man…but look Mavis swallowed it, hook, line and sinker.” Sam smiled at her. “She never questioned it.”

  “Looks like I don’t have much choice…”

  Sam nodded. “Good, now give me some time to think this out. I gotta go eat and then we’ll plan it. Is the café you went to good?”

  “Yeah, I reckon, I didn’t pay much attention to what I was eating though,” Riley admitted. “It would have been nicer having someone to eat it with.”

  Sam sat on the edge of the bed and looked at her, folding and refolding his hands together. “Riley, you really should find you a young man.”

  Riley whirled about, her dress swishing. “A young man?”