Mouse: A Steel Paragons MC Novel (The Coast: Book 7)

by Hart, Eve R.

  A week went by and I avoided the compound at all costs. I knew Chris could tell that something was going on but he remained silent, letting me work things out for myself. I could tell it was hard for him but I respected him so much more for it. When I told him that I wanted to keep Chry at home as much as possible, he nodded and worked something out between Laurel, Ky, and himself. I think he caught on to the fact that I was trying to avoid Mouse, or at least suspected something was wrong.

  But then again maybe not because I’d heard Ky on the phone saying that Mouse had gone on some kind of ride or run or something and he would be gone the rest of the week.

  Despite the fact that I was trying so hard not to think about him or care, the fact that he seemed to have taken off like that hurt me a little.

  The next week went much the same with the schedule for Chry, and then the one after that. And a few more slipped by just the same. I stopped avoiding the compound because Cami and Laurel often asked me to meet them there to hang out. And I loved eating dinner with them and everyone there when Chris and Ky had to work. I was determined not to let my hurt and anger toward Mouse force me away from the things I loved. But that didn’t mean that it wasn’t hard. Whenever we were in the same room, I always felt his eyes on me and it was all I could do not to turn my head and give in to the urge to see him.

  I was starting to feel settled in my job and at the beach house. Most of the time I thought of it as home but there was still a part of me that knew I needed to get my own place.

  I wasn’t sure how long Chris and Ky were going to be engaged, but I had already decided that I was going to be out of their hair before they got married. They deserved to have their time and that way, I had kind of given myself a deadline.

  I learned that I worked well with having schedules and deadlines. I was comfortable with making plans and goals and working toward them. It really helped in times when I felt like I didn’t know what I was doing half the time.

  Then the time came when I couldn’t avoid it anymore. Chris told me that there was a cookout at the compound. Since I didn’t have to work, I knew I had no acceptable excuse that would get me out of it without making him suspicious. I guess it was like eating dinner with Laurel and Cami there, but something about this felt different.

  What was I going to do?

  It would be good to get out and be around people I was comfortable with. Chry would love it too. I hated that he was so isolated sometimes but I didn’t know anyone else with kids.

  At least not yet.

  I had to admit that I was really happy to learn that Laurel was with child. She seemed really happy about it too.

  I wouldn’t have said that I was jealous of her because she was having a baby with someone she loved and it was clear as day that B-ry loved her back just as much. However, it did make me wonder what that felt like. I was a little curious to know what it would be like to raise a child with someone that loved us both.

  It was a little silly to think of such things. I had learned that it was good to have realistic goals and dreams. The rest of it, well, I had a feeling reaching for the stars would only leave me with a huge pit of disappointment in my chest.

  “Hey,” Chris said as he knocked on my cracked-open door. “I’m ready whenever you are.”

  I was in my thick robe currently going through everything I had in my closet.

  “I’m having some problems, I think,” I told him, feeling confused. “Why is it so hard to pick something to wear?”

  Everything I had didn’t feel right but I didn’t have a good reason why. I had tried on three dresses already and quickly ripped them off after looking in the mirror.

  At the sound of Chris’ laughter, I turned to face him with a slight scowl on my face.

  “Are you nervous for some reason?” he asked me with that face that told me he already had all the answers to what was going on with me.

  “No,” I said quickly, then really thought about it. “Why would I be?” But I was. It was like it all crashed down on me at once. “Why am I nervous, Chris?! And why is there so much perspiration gathering in odd places?”

  I tried to loosen my robe a little so I could get some airflow going in hopes of cooling off.

  “You want me to tell you the truth?”

  I hesitated as I stared at him.

  I didn’t answer him because I wasn’t sure how to.

  “I think this might have to do with seeing a certain someone.” His brow went up in a knowing way. “I don’t know what’s going on there, but I can tell you that he cares for you too.”

  I looked away as my eyes began to sting with tears.

  “He does not,” I told him in a firm tone. “He thinks I’m just a silly girl.”

  “No, he doesn’t. He’s torn for so many reasons. But I see him watching you with that protective look on his face that says he’d give his life for yours.”

  I wanted to tell Chris that he was greatly mistaken. As I looked at him again, I could see that he knew what he was talking about so I kept my mouth closed.

  “Come on. Put the blue dress with the tangerine flowers on and fix your makeup, then we’ll go,” he told me with a wink before leaving my room.

  A smile pushed at my lips as I reached for the dress he was talking about. I held it up and looked at myself in the mirror. Yes, that was the perfect one.

  After I dressed and touched up the little makeup I had on, I told him I was ready to go. A few deep breaths later, I still didn’t feel so sure about this.

  Not that Chris would let me back out now.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  Mouse

  “You look miserable as fuck!” Sketch said as he walked up to me.

  I cut my eyes over to him but held my tongue.

  The lot between the two buildings was full of family and friends. And a few faces that I didn’t recognize nor cared to get to know. Women here for the men that weren’t me, because I wasn’t interested at all.

  “He’s looked like this for like months now,” Lake said as he took a seat beside me and tipped his beer back.

  “Yeah, but it’s fuckin’ worse right now. Someone chop your dick off or something? I mean damn. You’re bringing me down.” Normally I was amused by Sketch, but not tonight.

  In fact, I was two seconds away from punching him in his fucking face.

  “That bitch left you like forever ago now,” he went on not taking a hint from my silence. I knew he was talking about Amber and as shitty as it might have been, I hadn’t thought about her at all lately. “Shouldn’t you be all up in desperate pussy?” He pointed his finger to a group of women that were obviously here for one thing— to bag a brother for the night.

  “Think his mind is on other things,” B-ry said as he walked up only catching the last thing that Sketch had said. “Beer?”

  “No, I’m good,” I replied with a shake of my head.

  “Nah, this fucker needs something stronger to knock that shit outta him,” Sketch said.

  “I don’t need anything,” I ground out, my eyes blindly staring a hole in the building across the way.

  I was done with drinking. I hadn’t had a drop since that fucked up night where I touched Ingram. The night when I watched her heart break with my own eyes right in front of me. The lies I’d said… I still hated myself for saying them.

  That brought Ingram to my damn mind and here I was trying really fucking hard not to think about her. It hurt in my chest every time I did. Like now, an ache that never really went away and seemed to grow stronger the more the days went on. I was a fucking idiot, I couldn’t even try and deny it. I didn’t know how to make it right and it was clear as day that she was doing her best to avoid me, even more than before. And it seemed like no matter what I did, I couldn’t let her go.

  So maybe I was wrong.

  I did need something, it just wasn’t alcohol.

  “Oh look, Ky’s baby sister is here,” Sketch said a little too loudly causing my whole body to tense up. Just
what I needed and really, I should have known she’d be here. I didn’t move my eyes to look at him but I could tell he was watching her and whoever she was with somewhere behind me. “I’m gonna go borrow her kid. Bitches love a man with a baby. They’ll flock to me like fuckin’ sluts to free condoms.”

  “I don’t think that’s how that saying goes…” Lake said sounding confused.

  “Sketch,” I said and it came out like a deep growl. “Don’t fucking think about it.”

  He eyed me with a damn smirk on his face. Then he lifted his hands in surrender and backed away. I watched him just to make sure he didn’t go near Ingram and Chry.

  B-ry chuckled and I didn’t want to deal with this shit right now.

  I tried hard not to look, but it was like my eyes had a mind of their own.

  All the air left my lungs the moment I saw her.

  She was so beautiful. Her dark, thick hair was half down and swaying lightly in the calm breeze. The dress she had on was so perfectly her, not too short and only revealing enough to tease my imagination. Her full lips were tinted with a deep pink which complemented her tan skin tone perfectly.

  I was fucked in so many different ways that it wasn’t even funny.

  “Oh, I can’t wait to sit back and watch Ky kick your ass,” B-ry said as he got to his feet. He walked off shaking his head and I knew he had a damn smirk on his face.

  “My advice—” Lake started to say but I cut him off.

  “I didn’t ask for it.”

  “Is talk to Ky before things get out of hand,” he finished like I hadn’t even told him I wanted to him shut up. “You know, once you admit to yourself that you have a thing for his little sister, that is.”

  I looked over at him and his smile was so stupid it made my lips twitch just a little.

  Then he was getting up and walking over to where his woman was talking with Abigail and Claire.

  I let out a deep sigh as my head rested on the back of the chair. I watched the late day sky begin to change as the sun started to give the first signs that night was coming soon.

  I finally gave in and looked for Ingram. My eyes instantly landed on her sitting in a chair across the lot. She was alone, and without thought, my eyes scanned the area for Chry. I saw him with Chris, Brand, and Cami so I knew he was alright.

  Looking back at Ingram, my mind pleaded with me to do something stupid. I sat there for a long fucking time just watching her. She was alone because she wanted to be, that much I could tell. But why? I didn’t have a clue on that part.

  “Ah, fuck me,” I said as I got to my feet.

  I was going to do something stupid.

  Yeah, stupid and probably unwanted.

  Because she had made it clear that she didn’t want to have anything to do with my dumb ass any longer.

  But I couldn’t seem to stop myself.

  I was prepared to do whatever it took to get her to talk to me again. And maybe, just fucking maybe, she might forgive me one day if I proved myself worthy of it.

  She deserved more than a guy like me, more than the way I’d treated her. Except, I couldn’t stand there and be the guy on the sidelines of her life anymore.

  I fucking missed her and it hurt like hell.

  “Is this seat taken?” I asked softly and I gave her my eyes as I waited for her answer. I might have even been holding my breath.

  Her eyes were sad and a little surprised when they looked up at me.

  “No,” she said with a shake of her head. “You may sit.”

  Her voice was soft and sweet as it floated into my ears. I could hear the hesitation in her tone and I hated that I had been the one to put it there.

  I hadn’t planned out what I was going to say, so I sat slowly then leaned my forearms on my thighs as I tried to get my shit together.

  I opened my mouth to speak, but it was her that went first.

  “I’m mad at you,” she said not holding back and I loved it despite the tension between us.

  “I’m mad at myself,” I told her honestly.

  “I’m hurt and upset and also very confused.”

  I swallowed thickly, feeling like my throat had shrunk down to nothing.

  “I was an asshole and I’m so fucking sorry,” I said as my head tilted to the side and I looked her in the eyes so she could see that I meant it.

  “You were an… not nice. But I miss you and I don’t want to keep feeling like I want to avoid you.”

  “What can I do to make this right? Tell me, I’ll do anything because I miss you too.” I would have gotten down on my knees and begged if I thought it would have helped any.

  “I need my friend back, Malcolm,” she said and I got what she was saying in that. I couldn’t blame her, I’d lost her trust that night and I had to earn it back.

  “Okay, I can do that,” I told her meaning it completely.

  “I think Chry misses you too. He has been a bit cranky lately.”

  A soft smile tipped up my lips. I had to admit that I felt incomplete without my time with him. I didn’t let myself say that out loud or even think about it too deeply. But it was true, nonetheless.

  “But first,” she said a little nervously, “This probably isn’t the right time but I need to get it out there so we can move on. I just have to say that… what happened was nice. I’ve never… well, just thank you for being gentle with me.”

  “Wait,” I said and tried to cut through the haze in my brain from the thoughts of that night. I may have been super drunk but not enough to where I didn’t remember touching her. It was both a blessing and a curse. “Has no one done that before?”

  We shouldn’t have been talking about this. Right now, I needed to forget so I could be the man she needed me to be. So I could be her friend.

  It was no secret that she had been with a man before. Though she’d never come right out and said it, it was obvious that it had been forced on her. But I couldn’t help but wonder sometimes if while she was away there had been someone. Maybe a boyfriend or someone she tried things with.

  My brain went haywire as I grasped what she was trying to tell me.

  Nice.

  She said it was nice.

  And while that might sound like a bad thing, coming from her it was the truth in the best kind of way.

  “I liked the kiss. It was really my first. And I would like to do it again one day,” she told me and I saw the blush hit her cheeks hard right before she ducked her head.

  Yep, I was beaming with happiness and pride. I knew what she meant by one day and hell, I was ready to fight for that day.

  “The fuck did you just say?!”

  My eyes went wide as Ky’s voice roared in my ears.

  It was a second later that I was grabbed up by the back of my cut and my feet were trying their damnedest to get under me. The chair went crashing backward and I had a good feeling I would soon be laying on the ground right next to it.

  “You touched my sister?” he asked but I knew he wasn’t looking for me to answer.

  The crunch rang in my ears as his fist met my face. I stumbled and tried to find my footing before the next one came. And I knew it was coming.

  My head whipped back as he clipped me under the jaw. I kept my hands down by my side as he tackled me to the ground.

  There were screams and shouting all around but I could barely hear them over the thumping in my ears.

  “You fucking kissed my sister!” he growled in my face. “Say something, asshole.”

  His fist met my face again as he yanked on my shirt to lift my torso up.

  My eye watered and I knew that shit was going to swell.

  “Fight me,” he said low and in my face. I wasn’t sure if it was a dare or something else. Another punch and I felt the skin burn as it split on my lower lip. “What the fuck makes you think you’re worthy to touch her?”

  Something inside me snapped.

  My hand wrapped around his throat as I flipped him onto his back. I released him right away only
to punch him square in the nose.

  I got another one into the side of his jaw before he bucked me off of him. As I tried to get to my feet, he got a good, solid punch in to my stomach. A dry cough pushed out of my throat as I dropped to one knee.

  “Because I care about her more than just about anything,” I yelled as an answer to his question. I pushed up and caught him around the waist, effectively taking us both back down to the ground.

  I reared my hand back to punch him again but before I swung I caught something flicker across his face that caused me to pause.

  It was enough to let him get the jump on me and push me off of him.

  “For fuck’s sake.” Iron’s sighed words broke through the pounding in my ears. “E-fuckin’-nough! Not this shit again.”

  I was hauled up to my feet, my arms restrained at my side, while the same thing happened to Ky. By the boa constrictor grip I was in, I guessed it was Cable that had grabbed me.

  I held my palms out by my side letting Iron know that I wasn’t going to try anything else. Prez stepped between us and shook his head like he was disappointed in both of us.

  “I got enough shit to deal with, I don’t need you two tearing each other apart. This is a party, stop fuckin’ it up for the rest of us that want a damn night to just relax.”

  With that, he walked off.

  B-ry released Ky. Then Cable dropped his arms from around me but didn’t take a step back right away.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Ingram start to make her way over to me.

  “Ingram,” Ky said and there was still a pissed-off fire in his tone. “Get away right now. I love you, but I need to have a chat with Mouse right the fuck now.”

  She gasped, then slowly turned and walked away.

  I wanted to go after her but as I looked at Ky, I knew that wasn’t a smart idea.

  The flames rose in his eyes and his nose flared with anger.