by Mandy Baggot
“So what are you gonna do?” Cole inquired.
“I’m going to take charge, obviously. Aren’t you getting the whole theme of my visit yet?” Robyn asked.
“I should have guessed. But do you know anything about managing an ice hockey team?” Cole asked.
“About managing? No, absolutely nothing. Apart from what my dad does. That’s basically scream a lot and bang his fists against the Perspex. I play though…well I used to play,” Robyn said.
“Really?”
“You didn’t try very hard to keep the patronizingly surprised tone out of your voice. I think you need some practice with that,” Robyn said.
“Whoa! Are you trying to say I’m sexist?” Cole asked.
“Aren’t you?” Robyn asked, raising an eyebrow at him.
“No,” Cole insisted.
“Not convincing me,” Robyn said.
She looked out of the window and saw Lake Michigan slip out of view and Kalamazoo County come into sight. Familiarity tugged at her. She was nearly home.
“So where are you staying?” Cole asked.
“With Pam and my Uncle Bob. Nancy, with the decorated navel, lives with Dad now, apparently. She’s probably turned the house into a piercing parlor or a dope den or something,” Robyn answered.
“You don’t have a very high opinion of her,” Cole stated.
“I’ve never met her, but in the last nine years, my dad’s had a succession of unsuitable women. I can’t imagine someone called Nancy with tattoos and piercings is going to be any different,” Robyn said.
“You need a ride anywhere? I’m picking up a car,” Cole told her.
“No thanks, I’m good. Anyway, here’s you knowing all about me and my character of a father…I still want to speak to your mother. I need reassurance that she isn’t decomposing in a cellar,” Robyn reminded him.
“She was very much alive when she was bear-hugging me at the airport and ordering me to vacuum at least twice a week,” Cole assured her.
“Twice a week, huh? She has high expectations.”
“And what did your mom say to you before you left?” Cole wanted to know.
Her mom. It sounded strange someone referring to her mother. She hadn’t thought about her for years, hadn’t seen her for longer. She was like someone who had been there in name only. Then, when Robyn hit eighteen, she considered her role had come to an end and she terminated the part like an employment contract.
“We’re not in contact. She married husband number three and they moved. Wales, I think, but who knows? She could be in Vegas or somewhere. That would be right up her alley.”
“Oh man, sorry, I just assumed…” Cole began to apologize.
“It’s fine. I don’t need anyone to tell me how many times to hoover,” Robyn replied with a smile.
He smiled back at her.
“You’re cute. Are you married?” Robyn asked bluntly, looking at Cole and noticing again the dark eyes and wide mouth.
“Married? No!” Cole said, laughing.
“What’s so funny?” Robyn wanted to know.
“Well, because I’m only twenty-five and…well, I’ve never really thought about it,” Cole answered.
“Everyone thinks about it.”
“Girls maybe, not guys.”
“My friend, Sarah, she talked about it all the time in high school. She even had a folder with magazine cuttings of potential dresses and some silver tuxedo gross out thing she wanted her groom dressed in. Ugh!”
“So that must mean you think about it.”
“Yeah, I think about it. I think how glad I am I’m never going to go down that road. What a ridiculous situation to be in…tying yourself to someone else forever. Besides, it never works.” Robyn scoffed.
Cole smiled at her.
“Girlfriend, then? I mean, you can’t look like you do and not have a girlfriend,” Robyn said, still absorbing the firm jaw and well-built shoulders.
“No. Not at the moment.”
“Ah, so you’ve just broken up with someone.”
“No,” Cole denied.
Robyn raised her eyebrow at him unconvinced. She could read him already, and the eyes were honest, she was sure of that now.
“It was a few months ago,” Cole admitted.
“Was it serious?” Robyn asked.
There was something in his tone that made her curious. There was definitely more to his story.
“No, not really.”
“Did you live together?” Robyn probed.
“No. Look…I’m not really comfortable talking about it,” Cole said.
He looked flustered and the easy manner and smile had almost evaporated. The girlfriend had hurt him bad.
“Listen, who would you rather? Me or Oprah?”
A hint of a smile played on his lips.
“Anyways, I’ve been good enough to tell you half my life story, why can’t you tell me about your girlfriend? I mean, you carried my bag about a mile. In my town, that makes us almost related.”
“It just wasn’t the best break up,” Cole admitted as the plane came in to land.
“Who dumped who?” Robyn continued, turning to him almost enthusiastically.
“It wasn’t that clear cut.”
“Well, what was it like?”
“She was seeing someone else,” Cole admitted. A sad expression and a heaviness to his words told her everything.
“That’s low. Was it someone you knew? Work colleague? I bet it was a work colleague, wasn’t it? Their eyes met over the boardroom table and they just couldn’t help themselves.”
“My brother,” Cole answered, his eyes meeting hers and locking there.
Not even Robyn could find the words to respond straight away to that. She concentrated on looking out the window and watched as the ground came closer and the wheels of the jet touched down.
She talked too much, that she knew, particularly when she was scared to death. It was easy to focus on something else, in this case someone else. Taking the lead in conversation meant she could boss the flow, leaving little space for anyone to direct the questioning at her. She’d give a little but never everything. If she was honest, she wouldn’t know where to start with everything.
“You know, I don’t know your brother, but I can’t imagine he’s got more going for him than you. I mean, you’re cute and you’re funny and you carried a damsel’s bag. It doesn’t get any better than that in my opinion,” Robyn finally spoke up as the plane taxied to a gate.
“Thanks,” Cole replied, his smile returning.
“Did you fight?” Robyn inquired suddenly.
“What?”
“You and your brother. Did you have a scrap? You know, fisticuffs, slugging it out? Bit of roughing?” Robyn asked, punching her arms forward to demonstrate. She made the noises of someone sparring in a boxing ring and got a few concerned looks from other passengers.
“Not really.”
“Oh my God. You so did. Who won? You did, didn’t you! He begged for mercy and he cried! Oh God, he so cried, didn’t he?” Robyn rambled on with a little too much excitement.
“They’re going to open the doors,” Cole said as a clear distraction as people stood up to remove their bags from the overhead bins.
“Don’t feel guilty about it. Sometimes people need a bit of rough justice, even family. What am I talking about? Especially family! They’re the worst. Think they can treat you like crap whenever they feel like it, walk all over you, and then ask for help when they need it. I’m not a fan of that way of thinking myself. Tell it like it is and say what you think, I say. There’s no time to fanny about around people,” Robyn said with a nod.
“Fanny about?”
“Shit, I do need to find the American in me, don’t I? I need to remember I want fries with my steak, not chips. Chips over here are crisps in the UK and a swede, well a swede is a rutabaga!” Robyn spoke as she almost buckled under the weight of her bag.
“Are you sure you don’t need a ri
de?” Cole offered, steadying her backpack for her.
“No, I’m good. Pam should be waiting for me,” she said.
“Well, I guess I’ll see you around, Robyn Matthers,” Cole said as they prepared to leave the plane.
“Sure. Hey, Eddie’s Roadhouse, it’s on Shaver Road if you fancy beer…or if you want to ditch your job and work a bar,” Robyn told him.
“I might just drop by,” Cole replied.
“Good. Then you can tell me the full story about you and your brother,” Robyn answered.
“See you,” Cole said and he headed up the tunnel toward the exit.
She was nice. Really nice—but kind of crazy. She’d hardly stopped to take a breath between sentences on the plane, but he’d enjoyed it. It had made him forget about his own issues—until she’d made him talk about them. He couldn’t believe he had told her about it. And he’d sounded so hung up on it still. He wasn’t. He was over it. It had been a couple of months now; he was moving on. Not just because he was leaving Chicago—he was moving on inside. The proof of that was a wrecked car, bleach stains on one of his t-shirts, and a small scar on the knuckles of his right hand.
She watched him go. The easy, yet confident way he moved, how his jeans hung on his hips and the way his t-shirt enhanced the shape of his back. She bit her lip, but her mouth had other ideas.
“Hey! Cole! Wait!” she called.
Cole stopped walking and turned around to face her.
She jogged awkwardly toward him and, as she reached him, she dropped her broken backpack to the ground.
She didn’t think, she just acted. She pulled him by the arms, closed her eyes tight, and kissed him full on the lips. She drew his dark head to hers with her hand and urged his mouth to part.
She felt his momentary hesitation and surprise, but then he relaxed and kissed her back, tentatively at first and then with more purpose. It felt as good as she knew it would.
Then, she ended it and stepped back, quickly heaving her bag off the floor.
“I just wanted to thank you…you know…for carrying my bag,” she said, smiling.
“Well, I’m liking the Michigan thank you,” Cole answered with a laugh.
She smiled, adjusting the band in her hair and standing on the outside edge of her tennis shoes.
“So, I guess I’ll see you around?” Cole asked, studying her expression.
“Sure, see you around,” Robyn replied, nodding.
He picked up his duffle bag and, with one last smile at her, he walked away.
She watched him all the way up the tunnel before the smile fell from her face. The distraction was gone, and it was time to come to terms with being home.
Chapter Two
The wind almost knocked her sideways as she came out of the airport. It was mid-October and today the sky was clear, but the Michigan wind was biting. Autumn in the county of Kalamazoo meant weather for all seasons. Tomorrow could be a bikini day, the next you might need your snow clothes. It was predictable in its unpredictability.
“Robyn? Robyn, is that you? Oh, honey, you’re all grown up! Look at her, Bob! She’s all grown up! Look at your hair, it’s so different!”
“It’s not different, it’s exactly the same. I’m the same, completely the same, nothing changed at all,” Robyn said, pulling a section of hair and observing it closely.
“Come here, honey, let Bob take your bags. Take her bags, Bob. Is this all the luggage you have?” Pam questioned as she enveloped Robyn in a hug and began peeling her backpack and case from her.
Robyn was pleased to see her aunt. She was just as she remembered her. She was rounded and buxom, with the same kind eyes and wide smile. They spoke on the phone about once a month, but time had passed, and it was good to know that Auntie Pam still looked every inch the mother figure she always had been. It was familiar and comforting, and Robyn hadn’t realized until now how much she had missed that familiarity and comfort.
“I traveled light. Thought we could always go shopping for new stuff. Aren’t you always telling me how many sales they have on?” Robyn said, smiling at her.
“Hi Robyn,” Bob greeted.
Uncle Bob looked the same too. Perhaps slightly more gray and a little more weathered, but there were the same doe eyes and the hunched shoulders from years of huddling over a fishing pole. Pam wore the pants in their relationship, but Bob wouldn’t have it any other way. He was a man who lived for ice hockey and fishing and, as long as he had those simple pleasures, he was more than content with his lot.
“Shopping, as you know, is one of my favorite words! Oh, honey, it’s so good to see you. Bob, put Robyn’s luggage in the trunk. Robyn, let me introduce you! This is Sierra and Sienna. Girls, this is your cousin, Robyn,” Pam spoke proudly.
Robyn looked through the open window of the car at two identical girls, both with dark brown hair, tied in braids. Both had sullen looks on their faces and glared at her with attitude. They looked a million miles away from the angelic cousins Pam had described in their phone conversations. Robyn had imagined them with ringlets, white gloves, and fans. These two looked like they’d been styled by the Twilight team.
“Say hello, girls,” Pam ordered.
“Hello girls,” they replied together.
Then they cackled to themselves, looking at Robyn out of the corners of their beady eyes.
“Hello. How old are they now?’ Robyn questioned as the twins stuck their tongues out at her.
“Almost nine. I was pregnant when you left, remember? Size of a large family home! Doesn’t time fly by? Bob, are you okay, honey? Do you need some help?” Pam offered, turning her attention to her husband who was putting Robyn’s backpack in the trunk.
“I’m just fine,” Bob answered.
“So, shall we go and see your dad?” Pam suggested, clapping her hands together.
“Oh, well, it’s probably too late for visiting right now right?” Robyn began.
The question had fazed her. Sure, she knew seeing her dad was the whole purpose of her trip, but presented with the immediate possibility of being face-to-face with him in minutes, frankly, it freaked her out.
It was too soon. She knew she’d had the plane journey to prepare herself, but she still wasn’t ready. She didn’t know what he looked like now. He was ill; he was going to look different—maybe thin or old or frail. She couldn’t imagine her dad looking frail. It just wasn’t in his nature. But then, maybe that had changed too. Maybe he was less John Goodman and more Tony Shalhoub in Monk now. No, that didn’t bear thinking about.
“The nurses said we could go any time.”
“Oh, well, I guess…” Robyn began.
She knew when Pam had an idea about something it was pretty hard to oppose it. Though usually it involved shopping malls and large lunches, not hospitals.
“Pam, Robyn’s flown nine hours to get here, don’t you think she might want to wash up and have something to eat?” Bob interjected.
“Oh, honey, I’m sorry, of course you must be starving. Let’s go eat,” Pam said, opening the car door and leaping in.
“Thanks, Uncle Bob,” Robyn said quietly as he prepared to get back into the driver’s seat.
“Eddie is sick, Robyn, but he isn’t going anywhere today,” Bob assured her.
“Bob, come on! Old Country Buffet, I think. Robyn can have a bit of everything there,” Pam called, rolling down the window.
“Is it still seven dollars all you can eat?” Robyn asked her uncle.
“Yepper,” he answered with a smile.
“Have you tried the mashed potatoes? They still do great mashed potatoes here don’t they, Bob? And you must try the fried chicken, the fried chicken’s still good isn’t it, Bob?” Pam gabbled as they ate.
“She still gets indigestion because she talks too much while she’s eating,” Bob informed Robyn quietly.
Robyn laughed into her napkin, and Sierra and Sienna looked up at her with their eerie dark eyes, like the raisins on the Gingerbread Boy�
�s face. They had streaks of spaghetti sauce around their mouths that could have doubled for blood.
“The girls must keep you on your toes,” Robyn whispered back to her uncle.
“You know what? We wanted children for so long, now I’d actually pay someone to take them away,” Bob answered, pasting a smile on his face when his daughters looked in his direction.
“You don’t mean that,” Robyn replied.
“You’ve spent twenty minutes in a car with them, give it a few days and you’ll be begging for ear plugs,” Bob told her.
“What are you two talking about? I can’t hear you. Girls, use your knives and forks properly,” Pam ordered her children.
“Is she here because Uncle Eddie’s going to die?” Sienna questioned, looking straight at Robyn with an emotionless face.
“Sienna! Why would you say something like that? That’s very rude and disrespectful,” Pam exclaimed in horror.
“Well? Is he?” Sierra asked defiantly.
“We’re all going to die one day. Some of us get longer than others. At nine you have quite a good chance of surviving longer than me but, you know, you never can account for those freak accidents. Car pileup, snake bite, someone sneaking into your room at night and strangling you with your braids,” Robyn told them a serious expression on her face.
“Mommy! She’s being rude!” Sienna shouted in a whimpering voice.
“Girls, you need to mind your manners. Now if you’ve finished making a mess with that food, I suggest you go visit the bathroom,” Bob said.
“But we haven’t had dessert yet,” Sienna moaned, rolling her eyes.
“Bathroom. Now,” Bob ordered.
Both girls let out a disgruntled sigh, but got off their seats and headed toward the restrooms.
“Is it really serious? I mean, you can tell me the truth. I’m twenty-five now, not the sixteen-year-old who left all those years ago. I can handle it,” Robyn told Pam and Bob, looking at them both.
