by Mandy Baggot
“It’s serious,” Bob informed her bluntly.
“But the surgeon says once he’s had the operation, he’ll feel like a new man. Well, if he loses a bit of weight and lowers his blood pressure,” Pam chipped in, an optimistic expression on her face.
“When’s the bypass scheduled?” Robyn asked.
“We don’t know yet,” Bob told her.
“Why not? You said it was serious. If it’s serious, he needs the operation as soon as possible, doesn’t he? Is this a money thing? Because if it’s a money thing, I can get money.”
“It isn’t the money, he has insurance. He’s just not in a very good state, Robyn. His blood pressure’s through the roof, he’s got other patients and their visitors bringing him junk food, and he doesn’t do as he’s told. They’re worried he might not survive the operation,” Bob said. The doe eyes showed real concern and Robyn knew then things were serious.
“Take me there,” Robyn said, standing up and rocking on the outside edge of her tennis shoes.
“Let’s not panic. I mean, I saw him yesterday and he’d eaten his greens and his blood pressure was okay…” Pam started.
“I want to go there, now. He won’t have eaten the greens. Did you check under his sheets?”
“Well no, but…”
“I haven’t flown all this way to fanny about around him…I mean tiptoe…whatever. He needs the truth and I’m going to give it to him. Take me there. I’m ready,” Robyn ordered again.
“He knows what he should be doing, he just doesn’t do it,” Pam admitted with a sigh.
“Yes, well, he will. Or I’m going to ask the surgeon to wire his jaw shut before he starts with his heart,” Robyn said with determination in her tone.
“We’ve tried shock tactics, Robyn. Nothing seems to sink in,” Bob said.
“Are you going to take me there or am I getting a cab?”
Chapter Three
“Now, honey, don’t be put off by the monitors and things in his room. It’s just to assess his condition and keep a track of everything,” Pam explained, trying to keep up with Robyn as she strode through the front doors of the hospital.
Robyn was trying not to breathe. She hated the smell of hospitals almost as much as she hated the smell of the inside of airplanes. Both seemed to have a combination of cleaning solution and body odors. It wasn’t a good mix.
“Does he know I’m coming?” Robyn asked, striding on purposefully.
“Well, I didn’t know whether to say anything or not. I mean, it could have gone either way. You haven’t spoken for a while and…” Pam began, getting out of breath as she chased Robyn.
“Does he know I’m coming or not?” Robyn asked.
“No,” Pam admitted, flushing.
“Which way is it? What floor is he on?” Robyn questioned as she looked for any signs indicating cardiology.
“I’ll show you, just slow down a little, honey. Your aunt’s not as young as she used to be,” Pam said, taking a deep breath, her cheeks reddening more every second.
“Does she come and see him much?” Robyn asked as she finally relented and let Pam take the lead.
“Nancy?”
“Yeah, Nancy.”
She couldn’t help but grit her teeth.
“Most days, I think. Eddie talks about her a lot. I think she spends most of her time at the roadhouse, though,” Pam told her.
“That’s my next port of call, then the ice hockey team,” Robyn stated, ticking things off a mental list.
She wouldn’t feel in control unless she had been everywhere she needed to go, scared or otherwise.
“Oh, I don’t think you should do any of that tonight, honey. I mean, you must be exhausted,” Pam said quickly.
“It needs to be done. Someone needs to oversee things. Brad still plays for the team, right?” Robyn asked, looking at Pam.
“Yes.”
Robyn nodded.
Brad Willis was her ex-boyfriend. The last time she had seen him, he had already been six feet tall with blond shoulder-length hair. He was good-looking, he’d liked sports back then, and he had been her first boyfriend. Their first kiss had been at the drive-in in front of Planet of the Apes, and they had dated in a rather innocent high school way for almost a year. After that, Robyn had left. Her mother had given up on Eddie and was glad Fate had given her a reason to leave. At that time, Robyn had been more than happy to go with her.
“Brad’s an officer in the police department now,” Pam said.
“I know. In fact, you remind me every time I call,” Robyn answered.
“He was dating Michelle Diamond for a long time…” Pam started.
“Yeah, I know. Aren’t they still together?” Robyn asked.
“No, didn’t I tell you? She went off with Randy Dennis,” Pam said.
“No way!”
She remembered Randy Dennis. He had been the ugliest kid in school. He’d had ears the size of plates, glasses with lenses two inches thick, and a body odor issue.
“He had plastic surgery on his ears and laser eye surgery,” Pam informed as if reading her mind.
“When did that happen?” Robyn asked.
“The ears?”
“No, when did Michelle leave Brad?”
“About six months ago now. He took it really badly, almost got kicked off the force. He drank a lot, tried to start fights, and the whole town got pretty pissed at him,” Pam explained.
“Why didn’t you tell me any of this?”
“Well, you always spend longer talking to Bob about the hockey than you do to me. And you haven’t called for three months. I left messages, but you never called back…until the one I left about your dad,” Pam said.
“It hasn’t been that long,” Robyn insisted. She hid her eyes from her aunt.
Three months was nothing. She hadn’t spoken to her friend Sarah for almost a year. She was ashamed about that, but she would call her now that she was home. There were a lot of reasons she hadn’t returned her friend’s calls, but the main one was she didn’t want to hear what was going on in Portage because it made her ache not to be there. Sarah would describe the weather and the lake and places they used to go and, despite the mixed feelings she had for the town, the feeling that overrode all the others was longing. Her dad getting ill had somehow given her the courage to return. It was a reason she had long been looking for.
“Well, anyway, you’re here now aren’t you?’ Pam said hastily.
“So what happened? With Brad?” Robyn asked, desperate to take the spotlight off her lack of communication.
“Your dad happened. He gave him a focus, made him captain of the Panthers, and it turned him around,” Pam said, turning down another corridor.
“Well, Dad always did want a son,” Robyn answered.
“Brad visits too, at least once a week, and he’s been holding the Panthers together. Results haven’t been great, but they’re hanging in there,” Pam said, coming to a halt outside one of the doors.
Robyn suddenly felt the urge to vomit. It was either the sudden smell of antibacterial gel and urine or the realization that she was about to see the father she hadn’t set eyes on in nine years. She gagged and put her hand to her mouth, trying to stifle the feeling.
“Are you okay, honey? If this is too much, we can just turn around and go back to the car. We don’t have to do this now,” Pam reassured her.
“I’m okay. This it?” Robyn said, indicating the door in front of them.
“Yes. Should I go in first? Let him know you’re here? It will be a shock and…” Pam suggested.
“No.” Robyn shook her head. “Listen, why don’t you go and wait with Bob and the girls? I think I’d like to do this on my own,” Robyn said.
“Are you sure, honey?”
“Yes, I’m sure,” Robyn said a bit more forcefully than she had meant to.
Her aunt looked like a wounded puppy. She opened her mouth to apologize, but before she could, the door of Eddie’s room opened, and a
nurse came bustling out with a tray. On it were the remains of a McDonald’s meal.
“Excuse me, are you here to visit?” the nurse inquired.
“Yes, Eddie Matthers,” Robyn replied.
“Good luck. He has a bad attitude right now because I confiscated this,” the nurse said, indicating the leftover takeaway.
“Can I have it?” Robyn asked, putting her hands on the tray.
“You hungry? Because I’m pretty sure he’s bitten into everything,” the nurse responded.
“I’m starving,” Robyn insisted, taking a firm grip and pulling the tray away from the nurse.
She gave Robyn a funny look and raised her eyes at Pam. She finally relinquished the tray and carried on down the corridor.
“He’s in the bed by the window. A guy named Max is in there with him. He has bad lungs and coughs all the time,” Pam informed her.
Robyn didn’t listen to anything else. She pushed open the door and entered.
In the first bed, a man was sitting up in bed reading. He had wild tufts of gray hair on his head and thick glasses that sat halfway down his nose. He put his newspaper down and looked at Robyn with suspicion.
“You a nurse?” he barked in a thick Brooklyn accent.
“No,” Robyn answered.
“What you want?”
“World peace. You?” Robyn retorted.
“Very funny. Hey Eddie, we got ourselves a comedian here,” the patient called out before succumbing to a fit of coughing.
Robyn moved forward to the bed nearest the window. It was then she saw him.
Eddie only vaguely looked like the dad she remembered saying goodbye to. With less hair on his head and more hair on his face, he looked older. His beard was shabby and flecked with gray, and his pallor didn’t look right at all. Eyes that were ringed and heavy bulged from his face and he was fatter than ever. He looked like someone who could advertise the long term damage of a high cholesterol diet. Propped up in bed, Red Wings ice hockey shirt on over his hospital gown, remote control for the TV in one hand, the other vigorously picking from a bag of peanuts…there he was, her dad.
Robyn just stared at him from the end of his bed, trying to take it all in. This was what nine years had done to him. It looked like nine years of neglect, and she was suddenly pricked with a feeling of guilt. Perhaps she shouldn’t have left. Maybe if she had stayed he wouldn’t be in this situation. Had leaving him been selfish? She could have stayed, she could have confronted things—she might have found the strength from somewhere.
Eddie looked away from the television and noticed Robyn for the first time.
“What the Hell?” he exclaimed, clutching at his chest and knocking the bag of peanuts onto the floor.
“Hello, Dad,” Robyn greeted, putting the tray of food down.
‘Hello dad?! Hello dad?! You can’t just come waltzing in here and say ‘hello dad’ after ten years,” Eddie exclaimed, sitting up and wiping his peanut sullied hands on his sheets.
“Nine years, actually. What do you want me to say?” Robyn asked him.
“I don’t want you to say anything. What are you doing here? What d’you want? You need money? If you need money, ask your mother,” Eddie continued, adjusting the tube under his nose.
“I don’t need money,” Robyn answered, staring at him.
“Then what d’you want?”
“I brought this back for you. That Hitler of a nurse said she took it from you. Well, I know what the food’s like around here. Here, it’s all yours,” Robyn said, pushing the McDonald’s food nearer to him.
Eddie eyed her suspiciously, then his gaze fell to the paper bags on the table in front of him.
“Go on, it’s your favorite, isn’t it? Big Mac with extra cheese?” Robyn guessed.
“Why don’t you talk right any more? I thought it was just the telephone, but here you are, talking like that right in front of me. You didn’t speak like that when you left. You don’t sound right,” Eddie said as he grabbed the bag and his hand ferreted inside for the burger.
“England’s ruined me. I’m actually halfway to becoming the Queen,” Robyn replied, watching him.
“Where’s your mother? She ain’t here, is she?” Eddie asked, sinking his teeth into the food.
“Dunno. Wales? Blackpool? Vegas? Got married to a magician called Des. I’ve told you all this before. He can saw her in half,” Robyn answered.
“I wouldn’t mind a go at that myself,” Eddie replied.
“So, how are things with you? The house in such a state you needed to move in here?” Robyn questioned.
“Very funny,” Eddie responded, concentrating on eating.
“Auntie Pam says you need a bypass,” Robyn continued.
“So they say. You know the clever guys with the funny white coats and the glasses. They all wear glasses round here. I don’t know if they need them, I think they just wear them to look smart,” Eddie answered, spitting pieces of meat into his beard.
“They say you can’t have the operation unless you lose some weight and start eating properly,” Robyn carried on.
“Yeah, they say that too. Don’t know what their problem is. McDonald’s has been the staple diet of Americans for years and we’re all—” Eddie began.
“Dying of heart disease caused by obesity. Enjoying the food?” Robyn interjected.
“Yeah, beats the green pasta stuff they tried to force-feed me at lunchtime. It had bits in it. I don’t like bits,” Eddie said, shaking his head and breathing in through his nose as he devoured the burger.
“That’s a shame because I spit all over that Big Mac, pretty sure there’ll be bits,” Robyn informed him matter of factly.
Eddie clutched at his throat, turned bright red, and began to regurgitate what he had just eaten, doubling over and retching.
Robyn took the paper bags from the table, screwed them into a ball and, in one quick move, threw them in the hazardous waste bin.
“Jeez! You’re sick! What’s wrong with you? You trying to kill me?! Get me a nurse! Nurse!” Eddie yelled as he began to splutter and gasp for breath.
“I don’t need to try and kill you; you’re doing that all by yourself, eating this crap and not getting up and about. If you don’t do as the doctors say, they’re not going to give you the operation because they don’t think you’ll survive it,” Robyn blasted, looking at her father with fury in her eyes.
“Who cares? I don’t want an operation! They’re the ones who want me to have an operation. Do you think I want to be in here? Get me some water! I want this taste off my tongue!” Eddie ordered, wiping his mouth with a napkin.
“So you’re just going to lie here, eating shit and watching TV? What about the roadhouse? What about the Panthers?” Robyn questioned.
“Oh, what about them? Roadhouse has been going downhill for years, the same with the Panthers. No one cares any more, why should I?”
“Oh, I see, you want sympathy for the sorry ass state you’re in, do you? Well too bad, because you’re getting none of that from me,” Robyn told him.
“No one asked you to come.”
“Actually, they did. Auntie Pam begged me to come.”
“She always was an interfering…” Eddie began, wiping his tongue with the tissue.
“You think I want to be here? You think I wanted to leave England and travel nine hours across the Atlantic? I have a great job and a place and a life back there. Here I’ve got Auntie Pam and twin cousins who look like they belong in a remake of The Omen. And then there’s you. A fat, ungrateful, angry old man who wants to fester in a hospital bed when he has what could be a profitable business and what could be a successful ice hockey team sitting in his lap. Stop behaving like an idiot. You have no idea what it’s like for me to come back here!” Robyn yelled at him.
“How dare you speak to your father like that? You always were stubborn, you get that from your…” Eddie began.
“From you, Dad. I get it from you. Now listen to me, if I hear th
at any more fat-loaded meals have passed your lips, I will come in here and see to it that the doctor with the best glasses wires your jaw shut,” Robyn threatened.
Eddie glared at her.
“I’m going to get the roadhouse back on track, I’m going to manage the Panthers, and I’m going to get the house ready for you for when you come home,” Robyn told him.
“You can’t…”
“I can, Dad. Don’t underestimate me,” Robyn said. Her eyes flashed.
Eddie just continued to glare at her, still wiping at his mouth.
“So, did you want that water?” Robyn asked, putting a smile on her face and picking up the pitcher.
Chapter Four
It was good to arrive at Pam and Bob’s ranch-style home. It hadn’t changed a bit. The American flag still hung from a pole by the porch, Bob’s fishing boots stood on the step, and the tubs of flowers bordering the front of the house were still in bloom, just like they had been when she’d left.
Once inside, there was the familiar scent of home-cooking and the chintz decor practically enveloped you in old-fashioned charm.
“I made brownies. Girls, can you get changed for bed, it’s late,” Pam ordered as everyone entered the house.
“Oh Mom, you have to be kidding! It’s like not even ten,” Sierra complained straight away.
“It’s like only nine thirty! Taylor’s mom lets her stay up ‘til eleven,” Sienna joined in, stamping her foot and glaring at Pam.
“Not on a school night. Shoo!” Pam said.
“This is not fair! This is because she’s here!” Sierra shouted, fixing Robyn with a stare.
“Hey, leave me out of this,” Robyn begged.
“She doesn’t have to go to bed,” Sierra continued.
“I’m twenty-five,” Robyn answered.
“So?” Sierra replied, looking at her cousin with defiance in her eyes like the Gingerbread Boy.
“Remember what I said at the restaurant about life expectancy? If I were you, I’d take those braids out before you close your eyes tonight,” Robyn said, slight threat to her tone.
