He's Just A Friend

by Mary B. Morrison

  Raising her hand barely above her note pad, Mandy shook her head and said, “Wait a minute. You need to slow down. We can’t discuss everything in thirty minutes.”

  “No, actually I need to hurry up. I have a date with Byron tonight. And I have to figure out how I’m going to get my hair and nails done before seven. And I mentioned to Desmond yesterday over breakfast that I’m in love with Byron.”

  “Okay, Fancy. Forget about Byron and Desmond and all of your sponsors. Don’t you see the pattern? When you have sex with them, they’re happy with you. When you don’t, with the exception of Desmond, the others move on to someone else who will have sex with them. Now, Fancy. What about you? Is this what you honestly want?”

  “Why do you keep spending my dime asking me about myself? I live with me every second of every day. I need you to help solve my problems.” Maybe this was a good time for Fancy to open up to Mandy about her past. Trying to find the right words, Fancy sat quietly, constructing sentences in her head.

  Mandy stared for a long time over the top of her glasses. Softly she asked, “How’s Caroline?”

  Fancy sighed heavily and said, “Sick.”

  “Sick? Or sickening?” Mandy questioned.

  “Both.”

  “She’s sick. What’s wrong?” Mandy slid her glasses up her nose. “How long?”

  “Caroline exaggerates. It’s not that serious. She left me a message saying something about how she was bleeding all over herself for almost three weeks straight. Messing up her clothes and stuff, and her car seat. Afraid to go to work ’cause she was soaking through maxi pads like crazy. I think she said the doctor told her she has fibroids. Since she said there was no rush to have surgery, I don’t know why she tied up my voice mail with that long drawn out monologue. It’s not like I’m going to take care of her again, even if she does have to have a hysterectomy.”

  “Oh, Fancy. That’s not good. Despite what you think of Caroline, she is your mother.” Mandy was starting to sound like SaVoy.

  “Yeah, yeah. But she still doesn’t have time for me. La, la, la, la, la . . . it’s the same old song.” Fancy bowed in her seat. “Can we change the subject?”

  Mandy’s eyes shifted to the left. She bit her bottom lip, and then tilted her head, letting her frames travel to the tip of her nose. Fancy felt the tension in Mandy’s exhale but didn’t hear a sigh.

  Fancy stood and said, “I know that look. This concludes our session.”

  “No, wait.” Mandy opened her bottom drawer, pulled out a book, and handed it to Fancy. “Give this to your mother. For me. Please.”

  Fancy looked at the cover. Flipped the book over, then back to the cover. “It’s a Sistah Thing: A Guide to Understanding and Dealing with Fibroids for Black Women by Monique R. Brown. These women don’t look like Caroline. The one in the middle looks like me.”

  “Good point,” Mandy said. “If your mother has fibroids, you need to know her history. Take care of yourself, Fancy.”

  Fancy started her engine and speed dialed Raeshelle’s number. When the answering machine beeped, Fancy said, “Raeshelle! I know it’s Monday and you always close the shop to braid hair but could you please pick up the phone.” Fancy paused. “Raeshelle! I know you’re there. Pick up the phone, it’s me Fancy.” Fancy waited a few seconds, then hung up. She merged before the Eighteenth Street exit and drove toward the tollbooths. Traffic to the city at ten in the morning was a breeze. Fancy was surprised Harry wasn’t in his office, so she whisked into hers and closed the door.

  Four messages registered on her display. “Hi, Fancy. This is Tanya. I—” Delete. “Hey, girl. Haven’t heard from you in—” Fancy deleted SaVoy’s message. “Hi, this is Adam.” Fancy smiled. “I didn’t want to disturb you so I called your work number. But listen. I’ve enjoyed the time we’ve spent together but I got married in February. That’s why I haven’t returned your calls. My wife changed our home number, I’m changing my cell number, and please don’t disturb me at work. Take care of my kitty. After the newness of this marriage thing wears off, I’ll call you. Bye.” Fancy hit four to replay the message, then deleted it. “Hey, this is Byron.” Fancy smiled again. “I have to cancel our date tonight. I’ll call you when I’m back in town.”

  Fancy deleted the last message and stared at her computer. Fuck Adam. Who did he think he was? His kitty. Not hardly. Fancy logged on to the real estate Web site but couldn’t concentrate on the real estate principles. She could use her key and wait for Byron at his place. When the phone rang, Fancy stared at the receiver, then pressed the speaker button and said, “Yes, Harry.”

  “I need to see you in my office,” Harry said, then hung up.

  What would Harry do if she didn’t go to his office? Fancy thought about the lies she’d told her girlfriends. Not all, but most of the clothes and jewelry she owned, she’d bought cash, or charged to her Mastercard, Visa, or Discover, which were all over the limit. Soon she’d have to change her home phone number again to avoid the bill collectors.

  Fancy stood in the full-length mirror behind her door. Her short tan leather skirt showed off her shapely thighs. The tapered long-sleeve tan sweater outlined her breasts. Her high heels accentuated her toned calves. Her French manicure, African pedicure, and hair weave looked good but not great. Since Byron canceled, she could keep her standing Tuesday appointments. With the exception of the two hundred dollars she had in her purse, Fancy was broke. She stared at her radiant image trying to see what men saw in her besides her beauty. Fancy opened her door, walked into Harry’s office, closed his door, and smiled.

  CHAPTER 15

  SaVoy accepted Vanessa’s advice and explored her womanhood. Several times she’d come close to climaxing, but stopped before having an orgasm. SaVoy teased her sudsy nipples. They tingled. She watched the tips harden. Her soapy hands caressed her breasts. SaVoy leaned back in the tub, took a deep breath, and then exhaled. She closed her eyes. SaVoy stroked her clit, trying to prevent the questions stirring in her head from diminishing the strange sensation.

  “Feel. Don’t think. Feel. Don’t think.” Vanessa’s words resounded in her mind.

  SaVoy breathed deeply and exhaled through her mouth. This time she inserted the tip of her longest finger into her vagina. Then she slid it out and over her clitoris. She repeated the movement again and again. Each stroke aroused her a little bit more than the one before. Her body trembled. Chill bumps covered her arms. SaVoy wanted to experience her first orgasm alone. The strokes to her clitoris and shaft were more pleasurable than the mild penetration of her fingertip into her vagina, so SaVoy massaged the outside and squeezed her muscles on the inside.

  SaVoy inhaled. This time she held her breath for a few seconds in order to heighten the feeling. Vanessa had explained how a woman had two orgasmic secretion points and a man had only one. When SaVoy really learned her body, Vanessa said she could have an hour-long orgasm from her clitoris, really powerful ones inside her vagina after she became sexually active, and sometimes both at the same time. If she, or her partner, played with her clit during penetration she could score a triple-double orgasm: one direct score by massaging her clit while being on top of her partner, one assist from her partner teasing her clit in a doggie-style position, and one rebound; right after her partner had an orgasm she could have two more.

  “Ah, this does feel good,” SaVoy whispered.

  “The more you move, the better it feels.” Vanessa’s words surfaced again.

  SaVoy’s bath water wavered and splashed. “Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, my God.” SaVoy squeezed her thighs together as her hips rose above the water. Rapidly she inhaled and exhaled with shallow breaths. “Oooo. My God.” Her hips were now under the water in a race against her fingers. SaVoy muffled the pitch in her voice. “Ahh. Ahh.” SaVoy collapsed in the tub and said, “Wow!” So that’s what sex is all about. Fancy was right. But why was an orgasm so powerful she called God’s name aloud? Was that supposed to happen? She could ask Vanessa when she returned from her
business trip next week.

  Overwhelming joy stirred inside SaVoy as she dried herself off. The last time she remembered being that happy was when Papa bought her a car for her sixteenth birthday. SaVoy sang and danced as she prepared for her graduation party. This day signified two major accomplishments, education and womanhood.

  SaVoy knelt beside her bed to pray, “Dear Lord, Thank you for blessing me with the strength and intelligence to earn this degree. Let Thy will be done as I move forward doing your will and giving back to my community. And Lord, you know in my heart I wasn’t lusting. I was experimenting. Amen.” SaVoy’s prayers didn’t have to be long. Just sincere.

  SaVoy slipped into a black after-five dress. She found Papa sitting in the family room working the crossword puzzle.

  “You ready, Baby Girl?” her father asked, looking up with a huge grin.

  Why was he grinning? He couldn’t have heard her because her bathroom was inside her bedroom, her music was turned up loud, and she’d locked both doors.

  “Yes, Papa. I’m ready.” SaVoy extended her arms, warmly embracing her father.

  “Sit down for a minute. Let me talk to you.” Papa patted the empty space beside him.

  SaVoy nervously sat beside her father on the sofa.

  “I apologize for keeping your mother away from you. I was wrong. You know I’ve always protected you thinking what I was doing was best for you. Vanessa helped me to realize what I was doing was what was best for me. My not allowing you to grow up with your mother was wrong.”

  “Oh, Papa. You’ve sacrificed so much for me. I don’t fault you. It’s okay.” Why was he discussing this before her party?

  “No, it’s not, Baby Girl. It’s not okay. I’ve decided to tell you all about your mother. But that can wait until after the party. I’m not sure how you’ll handle it. But it’s time for you to know.”

  “Thank you, Papa. I’ve prayed every night for my mama.”

  “I know, Baby Girl. I know. We’ll talk again later tonight. Now let’s get to the party and celebrate! My baby has a college degree!” Papa smiled, then said, “I have a surprise for you. Vanessa you can come out now!”

  “Oh, my goodness!” SaVoy hugged her father, then hugged Vanessa. A wide smile covered SaVoy’s face.

  “Honey, I cut that meeting short. Told them I’d be back on Tuesday. When you’re the boss, you’re in control. Remember that.”

  SaVoy’s stomach tied in knots. The happy knots intertwined with the sad ones. She didn’t know what to think or feel about her mother so she prayed silently in the car while Papa drove and Vanessa talked about her trip. The parking lot was half full. She didn’t have a lot of friends but she was popular in her class so the upstairs banquet room at H’s Lordship was large enough to comfortably seat two hundred people.

  SaVoy greeted each of her guests personally. Fancy and Byron had arrived. “Hi. Thanks for coming.” SaVoy was already regretting having sat Fancy and Desmond at the same table.

  “Hey, girl. Congratulations!” Fancy handed SaVoy a neatly wrapped package inside a Tiffany bag. “This is my Byron. Byron Van Lee. SaVoy Edmonds, one of my very best friends.”

  “Pleased to meet you.” Byron smiled. “So what’s next on your agenda?”

  Fancy turned her head and said, “Oh, look who just walked in. Desmond, Tyronne, and Carlita.”

  “I have so many plans. First, I have ten months to figure out how to buy the building my father is leasing for his grocery store. I want to surprise him. He’s sacrificed so much for me. And I’m thinking about applying to grad school at Stanford.”

  “Here’s my card. Maybe I can assist you with helping your father and getting into Stanford. Call me.” Byron handed SaVoy his card and said, “You are absolutely beautiful.” Byron stared at her. Not in a lustful way but nevertheless he made SaVoy uncomfortable.

  “Who invited Caroline?” Fancy said, eyeing SaVoy.

  SaVoy shook her head and replied, “Fancy, she’s your mother. It’s my party. I invited her. Thanks, Byron. I’ll call you next week.” SaVoy was pleased to see Tyronne hadn’t brought a date. Tanya and William entered behind Caroline.

  SaVoy greeted them, then searched the room until she found Vanessa. “Can I talk to you? Privately. For a minute,” SaVoy asked, grabbing Vanessa’s hand.

  “Of course, honey. Let’s step outside on the balcony.”

  SaVoy looked at Vanessa and said, “Guess what?”

  “Honey, Vanessa doesn’t need to guess. A glow like that can only mean one thing.”

  “Yes. I did. This morning. Thank you for telling me about pleasing myself. Now I just have to figure out how to get Tyronne’s attention.” SaVoy glanced through the glass doors at Tyronne. “Tyronne makes me so nervous. To make my celebration special, I want to slow dance with him tonight. What should I do?”

  “When you dance with him, don’t think. Feel. Feel Tyronne’s body next to yours. Feel his heart beat against your heart. Don’t think. Feel. Move with him. Remember, the more you move, the better it feels. But this time you need to move slow and follow his lead.”

  “What if he doesn’t ask me to dance?”

  “Honey, this is your party. Ask him.”

  “But what will everyone think of me? If I ask him, I might look desperate.”

  “Who cares what other people think? It’s not about them. It’s about you. And how you feel about Tyronne.” Vanessa winked. “You’ll be fine. Come on, let’s go back inside.”

  “Desmond, you are not my man!” SaVoy recognized Fancy’s voice and hurried over to Fancy and Desmond.

  SaVoy whispered between clenched teeth, “Fancy what are you doing?”

  “That’s okay, we’re leaving,” Desmond said, tugging the back of Carlita’s chair. Carlita didn’t move.

  SaVoy looked around the room for Byron so he could help calm Fancy. “Where’s Byron?”

  Fancy snapped at SaVoy. “Why? Why are you concerned about where Byron is?”

  SaVoy bowed her head and silently said a short prayer. Tyronne pulled Desmond aside. When they returned, Desmond sat between beside Carlita and away from Fancy.

  SaVoy was relieved when Byron sat between Carlita and Fancy.

  “So, how have you been?” Byron asked Carlita.

  Carlita calmly nodded. “Fine, and you?”

  “I’ve been good. How are the kids? I imagine they’re almost grown by now,” Byron answered. His eyes softened as though he and Carlita were more than friends.

  When Desmond opened his mouth, Tyronne’s eyes narrowed. Desmond clenched his jaw.

  SaVoy looked across the table and could not believe that Fancy was unusually quiet. Caroline must have left because SaVoy hadn’t seen her since the party started. Fancy probably said something ugly to Caroline.

  Vanessa disrupted the private conversations and said, “Round table discussion. Not to sound sexist, I’ll generalize and say people who date a lot of different people are compensating for their inadequacies. It’s not because they want multiple partners. It’s just that multiple partners feed their egos and compensate for their lack of imagination. Really, if a person has a great imagination, they can always find new ways to stimulate their partner. Because when they’re with different people they’re usually not doing anything new or different. It’s just that the partner is different.”

  SaVoy frowned. She thought Vanessa was going to say something about her accomplishments. After all, this was her graduation party.

  Byron responded. “See, that’s where I disagree. Having multiple partners is healthy. That’s the only way a person can find out what they really like. Or don’t like. What I’d like to know is why do women place materialistic values over a man’s character?”

  Everyone at the table stared or glanced at Fancy.

  Papa looked at Tyronne and said, “Let me ask you a question. How many women are you dating?”

  “Who? Me?” Tyronne asked, pointing at himself.

  “Yes. You, young man,” Papa said. />
  “Papa. Don’t. You’re embarrassing me. Don’t answer that Tyronne. Let’s dance,” SaVoy said, pulling Tyronne away from his seat.

  Tyronne stood, then said, “I’ll take the fifth on answering that question, Mr. Edmonds. But I will say this. When I was engaged, I was faithful.”

  While they danced, SaVoy listened to Tyronne talk about Lisa. “When I think back, the signs were there. Next time, if there is a next time, I won’t hide anything. I’ll lay my cell phone on the table right along with my wallet or whatever and tell her I have nothing to hide. Nothing. Then I’ll let her know how I feel about her. Now if she contacts any of those people, I’ll know I have an insecure woman and fire her on the spot.”

  Wow. That was one condition under which SaVoy did not want Tyronne to fire her.

  SaVoy swayed, following Tyronne’s lead.

  “You really are smart. How come you don’t have a man?”

  SaVoy softly answered, “You haven’t asked.”

  Tyronne stepped back. “For real. Don’t play. You’d date someone like me?”

  “For real. Unless there’s something about you I should know,” SaVoy said.

  Tyronne didn’t speak another word. When their dance was over he didn’t return to the table. He went outside on the balcony. After almost all the guests had left, SaVoy joined Tyronne on the balcony.

  “Why are you still out here?”

  “Enjoying the peacefulness. It’s nice and quiet. Sometimes I enjoy being alone. Especially on a night like tonight when the peeps inside were so out of control.”

  SaVoy stood quietly next to Tyronne.

  “Can a brother have a kiss?”

  “Okay.” SaVoy closed her eyes. She felt Tyronne’s moist lips touch hers. This wasn’t her first kiss but it was their first kiss and she’d never forget the moment. SaVoy felt Tyronne’s hands travel through her hair down to her shoulders. He massaged her back, then embraced her. She held him close, sucking his tongue in and out of her mouth. She opened her eyes. His were still closed. She looked at Tyronne, hoping that wouldn’t be their last kiss. Then SaVoy closed her eyes and listened to the waves washing upon the boulders, praying that this was the beginning of a beautiful relationship.