Exposure

by Avril Osborne

“No. Linda, I was thinking about going round to the hospital. There’s nothing else on this evening and …”

  “Susan, is that wise?”

  There is a silence. Linda fills it.

  “Susan, don’t you think it would help if you told me what’s going on? You’re not in love with this man, are you?” She asks, knowing somehow that the answer is ‘no’, but that there is some deeper liaison here between Susan and Ramsey that has yet to be explained.

  “Dear God, no.” There is a pause, and then Susan goes on, “it’s difficult, Linda.”

  “So I gather. But why not come round here for a glass of wine? We can think about you going to the hospital later. I’m going out at about eight but we can sit in the sitting room. Ken is working late.”

  As she speaks, she gives a non-verbal apology to Angela and Tina, and her daughter screws up her face in half-mock, half-real disappointment.

  Linda hears Susan’s semi-reluctant agreement and turns to Angela as she puts the phone down with,

  “Never mind, Darling. You’ve got homework tonight anyway. And it’s ages since you saw Aunt Susan. Come and talk to me while I change.”

  Angela prattles away happily enough, delighted to have her mother to herself for a little while longer as Linda changes into black trousers, black shirt and belt. ‘Cool’, is the verdict from the child and Linda is quite pleased herself as she offsets the outfit with flat shoes and chunky silver jewellery.

  The doorbell and the sound of Tina welcoming Susan take mother and daughter downstairs, Susan holding her arms out to Angela as they descend. Linda always thinks that Susan protests too much about not wanting children. She has been a real aunt figure to the children over the years. Tonight, as always, there is something small for each of them, a book for Angela and a magazine on rugby for Kenny.

  Susan dismisses her kindness to the children as Linda thanks her and as they walk through to the sitting room, wine glasses in hand.

  “Right, Susan, let’s hear what all this is about.” Linda is gentle but time is short, and she knows that Susan will need straightforward encouragement to say what is going on.

  She watches as Susan takes some wine and sets the glass down beside her. Her friend composes herself into what is obviously going to be a difficult conversation for her. But Linda knows that Susan would not be here if she was not prepared to talk. It is just uncomfortable, that is all.

  “I don’t want Ken to hear any of this,” Susan prevaricates.

  “Of course.” Linda waves away the idea and says no more.

  “The situation with Dave Ramsey was more complicated than I led you to believe. I’ve told no one, Linda.” Linda still waits.

  “Dave Ramsey and I met three years ago. Do you remember there was a boating tragedy off the island of Mull on the west coast of Scotland?”

  Linda shakes her head. It means nothing to her. Susan explains.

  “Well, there was a big accident involving a sailing school three summers ago. Actually, I think you were in Spain all that summer, now that I think about it. Dave Ramsey was on a retreat to the island at the time and he was staying in the house of the local minister when it all happened.”

  Linda sits patiently, wondering what it was that happened and knowing that just keeping quiet is the best way to move this story along.

  “Dave was the holiday relief minister. The sailing school of young teenagers were caught broadsides by a westerly wind. Two boats capsized and the rest went out of control. Only the instructor’s boat was under control. Two people died – a young girl and a lad. By the time the party landed on Mull, a full-scale civil incident had been declared. The lifeboat was launched, ambulances were turned out; the hospital and the local authority were standing by. It was as big a tragedy as the island had ever seen.”

  Susan watches as Linda stops speaking.

  “Go on,” Linda encourages her. She suspects she knows what is coming. “What’s

  the connection with you in all this?” She tries to sound patient but Susan is putting off

  getting to the point. Susan gives her an apologetic smile.

  “Sorry, Linda. I’m getting there. Anyway, the story ran for days. In the end it was Dave who was given the accolades for his work in supporting the bereaved and the party members. I decided to interview him after the tragedy. It was right up the street of the programme. You know, grief, hate and blame – all that stuff. So I got in touch with him and asked him to come over to the city to do a live show. The bastard refused, would you believe? That doesn’t happen too often, I can tell you. I wanted to cover the whole issue of post-traumatic stress and whether counselling is helpful or not. There was a lot going on about that at the time and he seemed the perfect, instant recent expert. So I agreed with the boss that Mike Moss and I would fly up to Mull. You know Mike. He’s one of the cameramen.”

  “Susan, this is a long way to tell me you had a fling with someone.” Linda cannot see why Susan is prevaricating so much.

  “Well, I know, but it was more about how it happened that made it so difficult afterwards.”

  “Go on.” Linda resists glancing at the clock.

  “I first saw Dave Ramsey in the church. He was in his vestments and leading the memorial service for the community and the bereaved. I have to say, I was quite taken with him right away. ‘Forbidden fruit’ and all that, I suppose. I thought he was ruggedly attractive. I realized that he was also watching me intently though at that point he was unaware of how influential I can be or that I was about to make him the personality of the tragedy.”

  “Love at first sight?” Linda asks, knowing the answer is ‘no’.

  “Lust, more like,” Susan comes back with a rueful expression of after-the-event regret.

  “I set Mike filming and I stood till the church emptied before approaching him.

  He agreed to see me later and at the manse, in his study.”

  Linda raises an eyebrow at this.

  “I took Mike with me,” Susan protests. “It was ten o’clock before Mike and I got there and I think Dave had forgotten the appointment in the strain of being with people in shock and grief. He was sitting over a whisky with stress written all over him. I think I decided to seduce him at that moment.”

  “You seduced him?” Linda queries in surprise, the whole Dave Ramsey situation as she understood it till now turning on its axis.

  “Mm. I’m afraid so. It was easy enough, actually – boringly easy. I was wearing an

  ankle-length skirt with a slit up to well above the knee and a plunging open neckline on a cream silk blouse. I saw him looking”

  “But Mike was there.”

  “Yes. And he was also in hot pursuit of me on the island at the same time. So he was watching me like a hawk, I can tell you. Anyway, I got through the interview and Dave asked us to stay for a drink and sandwiches and as we were leaving he asked us both to come back the next evening if we were still on the island.”

  “Let me guess. You went back on your own?”

  “Yes. Whilst we were there, it must have been clear to Mike that something was going on. I’d said something to Dave about his gaucheness being vaguely alluring. Mike stomped off to the loo, I remember, a few minutes later. I think he also overheard me saying something about Dave’s physique – it’s more like a sportsman’s body than how you would imagine a churchman’s to be. And Mike was teasing me later, on the way back to the hotel. He thought a minister would hardly be worth the effort of the conquest.”

  “I’m not surprised, Susan.” Linda is almost amused at the scene and she laughs as she says this. The notion of Susan being the initiator intrigues her.

  “I met him in the street the next day and he invited me for supper. He did not mention Mike.”

  “So he was a willing party, then.”

  “I suppose so, but there was a fair amount of Dutch courage and pretending to be the perfect churchman before it happened. I asked all the questions. Married? Yes. Good marriage? Yes. Fine. I knew at onc
e it wasn’t. He would not have been there in that room if his marriage were OK. Any affairs? No, of course not – he was a minister. “Until now.” I landed the words as a statement, not as a question. He said nothing, brought brandy to the table and repeated only that he was a minister. I suggested going to the study to drink the brandy and to watch the sun go down.”

  “He was as easy as that to seduce?”

  “Yes.”

  “Well, tell me. How did you do it?” Linda feels some sort of prurient interest as she asks. Defrocking a minister has piquancy to it in any culture.

  “I simply stood beside him and undid his belt, then slipped my hand down over his crotch. I undressed in front of him. The rest, as they say, Linda, is history.”

  Linda almost wishes she had not asked She is genuinely shocked. She had no thought till now of Susan being the instigator of a sexual encounter or of being so cold headed about it. This is an evening of surprises.

  “It was absolutely my conquest. And I made it happen twice, three times maybe, that night. Basically, just as I wanted it.”

  Susan looks at Linda now, gauging her reaction. But Linda’s mind has moved on, has accepted the facts of the events on Mull; not allowed herself to dwell on the mental images of Susan and Dave engaged in multiple sexual couplings in the course of just a few hours. She is already thinking about the implications. She tries to fill in the gaps of the intervening years as to why Dave Ramsey is now lying in a state of unconsciousness, his life in the balance. What is the continuing connection that brought him to this? As if reading her thoughts, Susan continues.

  “He thought he had fallen in love. As far as I was concerned, it was over the moment I walked out of that manse and back to the hotel. I suppose I dominated him and for me, it was over as soon as that happened.”

  “Did you tell him that?”

  “No, I just said he had been cute. I left the island the next day. I had the distinct impression that Mike Moss knew but he said nothing and didn’t ask. Maybe he preferred to dismiss it in his mind. A month later, Dave turned up in the city at my flat. He was in love and he was ready to leave his wife. I got the whole bit, Linda. At first I thought it would be better to let him spend a bit of time with me and he kept on about how desperate he was. His marriage was a sham and he said Brenda was just a passive receptacle in bed. She was into wifely duty and nothing else. He had an experience with me that still excited him. It was stupid, but I just thought it would keep him quiet by letting him visit, and eventually, he would go away. Anyway, I wasn’t with anyone, not till Bill came along, and he sort of filled the sex gap for a while.” She gives Linda a look that says, “yes, stupid, I know”.

  “Anyway, he got himself into the University here to do a post-graduate Divinity course and he was given a tenure in the City Cathedral. He has hounded me on and off in all sorts of ways ever since. He’s never actually threatened me but I simply don’t trust him or his mental state.”

  “Do you think he would cause you physical harm, Susan?” This has not occurred to Linda till now.

  “No. Well, I don’t think so. At least, I’m not sure. It’s more that he will spill the beans about the affair to the press, or to Brenda, or to my TV Company. He could be more malicious by telling the press, and he knows it. To be honest, Linda, I just don’t know anymore.”

  Linda sits thinking, letting the silence fill the room. She starts to think aloud, checking out her train of thought with Susan as she goes.

  “Just what are the risks here? You have no affection for this man, so that is simply not an issue, right?” She continues as Susan nods her head and takes a sip of wine. “So, we come back to the question of exposure. There was nothing about the affair in the note and he has obviously not told Brenda or she would not be turning to you. Correct?” Susan nods again. “So it looks to me as if, if he dies, his secret and yours, so to speak, will go to his grave. If he lives, he may start to spill the beans.”

  “Exactly. No one else knows about it except, maybe, Mike. But if he does, he’s not likely to say anything. He was only guessing at the time. So my reasoning is that since I do have Brenda’s ear now, I might as well keep as close as I can and know what is happening.”

  “Well, I see that makes sense for as long as the man is unconscious. But if he comes to, what do you do then?”

  “I thought I’d try to see him, keep him on side if you like.”

  “Is that not where it went pear-shaped before, when he got in touch with you after Mull?”

  “I suppose so, but if I don’t show any concern he’s likely to start talking and blaming me. Don’t forget that he blamed me on the night of the overdose.”

  Linda mulls this over. She can see Susan’s predicament. And, realistically, she knows she is not going to dissuade her from being in touch at the hospital. All she can advise is caution. And she can remind Susan that she has a safe friend in her. Maybe, in truth, she is Susan’s only real friend.

  “Well, all I can think, bluntly, is that your problems are over if he doesn’t make it. Not that that’s a very nice thing to say but it is the reality. Meantime, please play it very carefully with Brenda. Will you keep me posted?”

  Linda knows she is drawing this to a close too quickly, but she does want to be at that supper with Jane Gray. The more she is detained, the more she realizes how much.

  “Of course.” Susan asks one last hesitant question.

  “Do you think badly of me, Linda?”

  Linda smiles, stands up and gives her friend a hug.

  “Not at all. You are a braver person than I would be if I saw something that I wanted like that. Mind you,” she laughs, “I suppose that’s the bit I don’t understand. I’ve never felt like that about a stranger.” She sees instant loneliness in Susan’s eyes. “But don’t worry, my dear Susan, I don’t love you any the less for it.”

  “Nothing happened between you and Mike, I take it?” Linda asks as an afterthought.

  “No. He’s still on the TV studio team. And occasionally he used to ask me out. But he hasn’t lately – not since Bill and I got together.”

  Linda glances at the clock. It is eight-fifteen

  “God, I should be somewhere by now.”

  “I’m so sorry. I’ve kept you. Can I drop you somewhere?”

  “No. It’s right across town. I’ll get a taxi and ring on my mobile to say that I’m on my way.”

  CHAPTER 7

  Five minutes later she is listening to the dialling tone on Jane’s phone, apologising and saying that she will be there in ten. Jane is lovely, just pleased that she is able to come over and says that she will hold supper for her.

  Two things occur to Linda as she watches the night city from the cab. She almost envies Susan her personal freedom, even if, just now, she is in a bit of trouble. And she is not sure yet why she did not want Susan to know that she is going to Jane’s flat.

  The flat turns out to be on the first floor of a converted warehouse down by the city’s old harbour. In front of the flats, a boat restaurant that has long since ceased its sea-going days invites the affluent diner aboard. And further along the harbour, a number of fish restaurants with chalkboards outside make this an area where tourists and diners mill in the early spring evening.

  Linda announces her arrival via the front security door intercom and enters a spacious and bright hallway. The presence of a lift indicates that this is going to be something of a luxury apartment. When the doors open to discharge her onto the first floor, Jane is already at the open door, smiling and welcoming her with an effusive dismissal of her guest’s apology for being late. She ushers Linda into a large, white-walled and rectangular room which has an open plan kitchen at one end, and a table and six chairs off to the right, offset by a floor to ceiling window that looks out over the harbour and its quayside restaurants. In the centre of the oak floored room are three beige coloured sofas, dominated by a wall hung collage of the outside scene and with a square coffee table on which wine glasses indica
te the favoured drink of Jane’s guests.

  Linda takes all this in with a glance, the query in her mind as to how Jane can afford this luxury on a senior lecturer’s salary dismissed as none of her business. Her attention is more immediately on the other guests and on Jane herself. Her hostess looks much more sophisticated here than in her office when wearing her smart University clothes. Tonight, she is wearing the type of black evening trousers that have wide enough legs to make it look like a skirt. On top, she has a cream coloured linen over-shirt with a low-slung broad black belt. The whole effect is finished off with her hair with a wide fringe in gamin style. This is a stylish Jane, younger and softer than the woman Linda has known till now. Linda is quietly stunned by how attractive Jane looks tonight and covers up her long look by an appreciative comment about Jane’s flat. But she has the uncomfortable impression that Jane has seen just how struck with her Linda is.

  There are four other women in the room, all sitting around the coffee table, pausing in what is obviously an animated discussion, to greet the final member of the supper party. They appear to be women somewhere between Jane’s age and Linda’s. Jacky, a schoolteacher of languages is sitting next to Jenny, an artist and the creator, it later transpires, of the painting collage above the sofas. Nicola is a doctor working in a health centre in the city centre and used to some of the worst that social deprivation does to health. Beside her is Kate, an architect working for the local authority. How they all came to be friends and in the same room this evening is not mentioned.

  There is a lively animation about these women as they say ‘Hi’, and gesture for Linda to join them on the empty sofa. Jane simply introduces her as Linda, her Professor from work, although Linda sees from their nods that they all know already who she is.

  “We were just talking about the difference between arranged and forced marriages in Asian culture,” Jane says, as she puts white wine into Linda’s hand and sits by her.

  “If any – difference, that is, “ Jacky recaps.

  Everyone laughs, teasing Jacky for her outdated view and groaning as they do so. Nicola is strongly of the opinion that legislation should be brought in to prevent forced marriages and that the Asian community are prepared to support such a move. No one wants this particular conversation to go for another round and Jane takes the opportunity to invite everyone to the table to eat. They turn out to be a group of women who are used to meeting and chatting, and Linda is glad that they seem to be talking about issues without putting her on the spot to give her own opinions. They include her, though, by often looking in her direction and she begins to make the occasional observation as supper is being served. Her momentary fear, when she arrived and first saw all these women, that she was in for an evening of listening to the woes of their personal lives, has been quickly dispelled.