Love War (Battlefield of Love Book 1)

by Cary Hart

  Who in the hell does she think she is?

  Running out the door, I take the stairs two at a time. “You want to call Sarah a liar, accuse her of conjuring up this story? What about Doug? What if this is just another one of his lies to get you to come back? Huh?” Aubrey spins around ready to fight, but I cut her off. “Jealous that I got to fuck your tight little cunt whenever I wanted!” She turns right back around, gets into her car, and rolls down her window.

  “This is going to sink in and when it does, just know that I’m here.” She throws her car in reverse, hightailing it out of here.

  “YOU CAN’T HAVE HER! SHE’S MY KID! ANDIE IS MINE!” I scream into the night. Her words are on repeat in my head, ripping out the only piece of my heart I have left.

  If I lose her, I’ll have nothing. My soul is crushed, my reason for living gone.

  She’s mine!

  After Aubrey leaves, I have to talk to Andie. I need to hear her sweet little voice.

  “Hey Daddy!” I can hear the excitement in her voice.

  Choking back the tears, I cover my mouth and just listen to her breathe.

  “Daddy? You there? Can you hear me?”

  “I’m right here, munchkin.”

  “Daddy, hold on. I’m going to FaceTime you.”

  Crap! Looking in the mirror I see the reflection of a broken man, eyes bloodshot and swollen.

  “I see you!” she giggles.

  “I see you too.”

  “Look Daddy, if I pinch my fingers like this...” She holds up her index finger and thumb. “And close one eye it looks like I’m squeezing your head.” She falls back on her bed laughing. “You do it, Daddy. Squeeze my head.”

  “OK.” I mimic her movements.

  “Daddy?” She brings her face really close to the screen. “Have you been crying?”

  “Yeah, just a little,” I reply, not wanting to lie.

  “Are you sad?”

  “Yeah.”

  “How come? Do you miss Reeses’ mommy?” She tilts her head to the side, waiting for an answer.

  “I do miss her, but you know who I miss the most?”

  “Who Daddy?” she asks.

  “Guess.”

  “ME? You miss me don’t you, Daddy?”

  “Yes, munch. I miss you more than you’ll ever know, but you know what you can do to make it better?”

  “What Daddy?”

  “Give me a kiss.” I pucker up, making a silly duck face, causing her to double over laughing.

  Kissing the screen, she pulls back and waves. “I have to go, Daddy. Mommy needs her phone.”

  “OK. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. I love you so much!”

  “I love you so so much! Bye Daddy.” I wave as I watch her little finger end the call.

  From the couch, I look at the bookshelf that houses all our pictures. Walking over, I pick up the one I examined earlier.

  She’s mine.

  Same brown wavy hair, ocean blue eyes and sun-kissed skin.

  She’s mine.

  Setting it down, I reach over and pick up the frame that has a picture she drew of me and her building her new bed.

  She’s mine.

  Then I notice the picture of Andie and Reece. The exact same one she keeps on her bedroom dresser. Both girls have their dark hair in a braid, ice cream on their faces and baby blues shinning with laughter.

  Dark hair, blue eyes.

  The same eyes.

  Reece and Andie have the same eyes.

  “FUUUUUUCK!” I roar. The anger consumes me again. Hate boiling in my veins, I throw the picture to the ground, breaking the glass. Nothing is safe. I drag my arm along the edge of the bookshelf, clearing it of anything that gets in the way. Books, vases, TV...all gone. All on the floor.

  I stare at the mess, then walk around it, ignoring what just happened. I head to bed, but stop and stand in the doorway. Overwhelmed with emotion, my fist connects with the door frame, splintering the wood. The pain in my throbbing knuckles is nothing compared to the damage that’s been done to my heart.

  She’s mine.

  Aubrey

  I DON’T THINK ONE can truly prepare to have their world flipped upside down. To have everything they thought was real ripped away, revealing it was all an illusion. Every moment of every day tainted by secrets and lies. I should know, it happened to me.

  It’s been two days since I had to face the realization that my life wasn’t what I thought it was. I’ve been dissecting when exactly I became oblivious to everything falling around me. The signs were all there, I was just blinded by daily routine to see.

  See that’s the thing, the moment you stop communicating, set aside feelings to get through the day, you push yourself away from what matters most: life.

  Drew needed to know and I was the only one who could tell him. I knew when I stepped foot in his house there would be no going back. Anything I thought we could have in the future was gone forever. I will be the one who destroyed his family. Not Doug, not Sarah...me.

  His words stung, taking what we had and turning it into something casual and dirty. It was more, and he knows it.

  He was scared.

  That night I came home alone and broke down, finally being able to feel. Wondering how I’m going to fix this, how I’m going to tell my little girl that she has a sister, or if I should even tell her. Is Doug going to fight for his rights? So many factors play into this and all I want to do is crawl in a hole and hide from the reality that surrounds me.

  Feeling a vibration next to me, I look over and see my phone lighting up.

  Niki: EAT.

  Me: Yes, mom.

  Niki: I’m worried, Aubrey. Please eat or I’m going to come over.

  Me: I will. I promise.

  If it wasn’t for Niki I would still be in the same clothes, wallowing in my filth. I didn’t want to burden her with my problems. School starting is hard enough, but Doug said it was either calling her or he stayed to make sure I was going to be OK. I opted for the friend. Doug can rot in hell for all I care. Was he a victim in all this? To some extent, yes, but as of now, I hate the man.

  Niki made arrangements for Reece to spend a couple nights at her place, but afternoons with her GiGi so Niki can come here to check on me.

  Today, she forced me to get up, shower and change. Eating is next on her list, but today food is overrated. I’m eventually going to have to call Doug and discuss what his plans are and how we are going to handle the situation with Reece.

  Maybe I should call him now?

  Picking up my phone, I’m startled by a light rap at the door. I stare at my phone like it has some kind of magical power. I hear the knock again, this time a little louder.

  Doug. “I told you I would call,” I mumble, padding my way toward the door. I fling it open and head back to my position on the couch, grabbing my blanket off the back of the rocker along the way. “Doug, I’m not in the mood.” I plop down on the couch.

  “Aubrey?” His voice awakens every nerve in my body, my heart telling me what my eyes can’t see. “Can I come in?” He sounds defeated.

  My eyes try to adjust to him standing in the open door, try to make sure it’s really him. This lack of sleep is taking a toll on me.

  “S-sure,” I stammer.

  “What’s this?” He holds up the final check I gave Niki to drop off at WilliamSon Construction.

  “It’s the final payment for the addition.”

  “The job’s not done,” he says as he rips it up.

  “Drew!” I’m up and getting my purse. I’ll be damned if he can control when I pay him. “Your part is done. I’ve contacted the lumber yard and they are going to install the floors when they come in and I’m perfectly capable of painting.” I flip out my checkbook and begin writing out another one.

  “Aubrey...I...I’m so lost.” He’s a shell of the man he was just a couple days ago. “I can’t sleep or eat. My heart...” He reaches up and grabs at his chest, pulling on his shirt. “It’s likes i
t’s been ripped from my chest.”

  “Drew—”

  “How can I ever recover from this? Can you explain that to me? Because I’ve been playing every scenario in my head and none of them are in my favor.”

  Taking a few steps, I ease my way in front of him. “Drew, I need you to hear what I’m saying.” I angle my head to meet his eyes. “That little girl, she is you, Drew. You are her father and there is nothing that will change that. You raised her, loved her, picked her up when she fell down, kissed away her tears. You are a father in every sense of the word. Andie is yours.”

  “What’s he going to do? Can you tell me that?” He searches for an answer I don’t have.

  “I haven’t talked to Doug. I do know that he has known for almost three years and hasn’t done anything about it yet and honestly, I’m not sure how that makes me feel.”

  “FUCK!” He turns around, leaning on the table. “You...this affects you, too.” He pushes off the door frame, spinning around. “Your marriage was based on a lie. The way he acted, the late nights, avoiding home. It wasn’t you. He was living with the guilt of having an affair.”

  “I know.” The words are difficult to speak.

  “I said all those things to you—”

  “You didn’t mean them. You’d just been given some serious, life-changing information.” I reach up, running my hand along his arm, and he jerks away.

  “I can’t do this anymore. Every word you said, they’re still sinking in. I’ve tried to figure out what I’m going to do, but I’m not sure. I can’t lose her, she is my world.” He collapses to his knees. “She is all I have.”

  “You have me.” I run my fingers through his hair.

  “I don’t. I lost you. Everything I said, I did...it was selfish.” He pulls his head away.

  “No you didn’t. You didn’t lose me.” I’m trying to stay strong for both of us.

  “I did. I don’t deserve you.”

  “Drew! Listen to me!” I reach over and tilt his chin up to make him see me, so I can somehow get through to him. “Do you hear me? Bombs are falling all around us and I’m tired of taking cover. If we want this, we have to fight for what is ours, this time around we have go to battle. Love isn’t easy...love is war.” I take his hand and place it over my heart. “I love you Drew Williams, and right now we are playing with a shitty hand, but I swear to God, if we stick together, we can have our family. But you have to believe in it, believe in us.”

  “I want to fight, I do, but at what cost? Losing her, losing you? I’m not sure if I’m willing to make you two casualties of war.” His arms reach around me, holding on tight.

  “I can’t lose you again. I didn’t know how empty my life was until I met you. My carefully constructed world wasn’t as stable as I thought. Finding you...you woke up my empty heart.”

  I embrace his muscular frame. In the middle of my room, two people, broken and alone, afraid of what the future holds, gather strength from each other to pull ourselves through. Our touches of comfort turn into caresses of passion and grow more desperate.

  Reaching between us he finds an exposed patch of porcelain skin where my shirt crept up, and massages his way up my sides while lightly kissing along my shoulder. My body arches toward him and I can feel his arousal situated firmly beneath me. I balance myself by resting my hands on his shoulders as he tugs at my shorts, exposing the already soaked fabric. The ache I feel from just being near him is like nothing I’ve experienced.

  His hand moves to my core, and as much as I want his hands and mouth on me, the ache is too great. I need him closer, I need him inside me now.

  Shocking us both, I push his hand away and reach for his jeans. Fumbling with the buttons, I clumsily attempt to rid him of the fabric keeping us from being closer. He puts me out of my misery by gently sliding me off his lap and standing to drop the worn denim onto the floor. His eyes silently question if this is what I want. I reach up and pull my tank over my head, showing him that it is. I lie back on the sofa, exposed both physically and emotionally, and wait for him to come to me.

  Remembering the touch of his hands, the feel of his facial hair causes my thighs to quiver in anticipation. He growls and moves toward me, and all my insecurities fall away once his hands are on me again. He crawls his way up my body, his mouth leaving damp kisses along the way. When his mouth is on mine and he’s settled between my legs, our eyes lock and it’s as if in that moment we’re asking and answering everything we can’t say with words. I tighten my grip on him and it urges him forward.

  “I love you so damn much, Aubrey,” he whispers as he slides into me, and a lone tear escapes down my cheek.

  We’re both beautifully broken, but we’re putting each other back together. One kiss, touch, and confession at a time.

  “You OK?” he asks, reaching over me to grab the blanket off the couch to cover our naked bodies.

  “Yeah, I’m OK.” I snuggle into his chest, trying to break the silent tension that looms over us.

  “Babe, I need to talk to Sarah. Confront her about Andie and the pregnancy.”

  Rolling over, I prop myself up on his chest. “I think you should.”

  “I was hoping you would say that and actually, I thought we should have Doug there as well.” His blue eyes meet mine, curious as to what I will say.

  “I think that’s for the best. We are all adults and we all want what’s best for the kids.” I lay my head back down, running my fingers through his light dusting of chest hair.

  “So how do you think we should do this?” His hand reaches around to slide me up further so our faces are barely touching.

  “Well, hi there,” I giggle.

  “Hey.” He smiles.

  In this moment, I know everything is going to be OK. No matter the outcome of the meeting, together we will pull through.

  “I think I have a plan. Do you trust me?” I ask Drew, hoping he will let me take on the burden of getting us all together.

  “With my life.”

  Aubrey

  I WOULD BE LYING if I said I was fine. I’m not. I’m at the B&B, making sure the sunroom is set up with enough seating, fluffing pillows, making sure the coffee pot is going and drinks are chilling.

  “Are we having a party?” Doug walks in, causing me to take a step back and examine the scene.

  “Well, shit.” It wasn’t what I was going for, but I wanted everyone to feel comfortable.

  “What’s going on A.J, er, Aubrey?” He quickly recovers from using my college nickname.

  “Doug, I’m going to come clean and be totally honest with you. I didn’t want you to get here and be bombarded.” I cut straight to the chase, hoping he won’t leave after I fill him in. “Drew is on his way here with Sarah. We are going to get down to the bottom of this mess, today.”

  “Aubrey, she doesn’t know that I told you and unless Drew told her, she is completely unaware.” He starts pacing around the room. “This isn’t going to end well.”

  “Doug, it will be fine. The complete truth needs to come out so we can figure out a plan and begin to heal.”

  “Aubrey, I don’t think you realize what you got yourself into, but if this is how we are going to go about it, I’ll just get me a little drink here.” He pours himself two fingers of whiskey, takes a seat and props his feet up on the coffee table. “And sit back and watch this disaster unfold.”

  Choosing to ignore him, I escape to the kitchen and busy myself until the other two get here.

  A few minutes later I hear the door shut and Sarah’s voice ring out in the entryway.

  “Drew, are you going to tell me why we are here?” I hear them go into the sunroom. “What? Why are you here?”

  There’s my cue. Breathing in and exhaling, I head into the other room.

  “And what the fuck is she doing here?”

  Doug speaks up first, “JoJo. They know.”

  “Know what?” she asks defensively, the walls going up.

  “They know about the af
fair.” He pauses, but continues. “They know about Andie.”

  Her eyes go wide, her breathing becomes rapid. Looking each one of us in the face, she shakes her head back and forth as the realization sets in. Her eyes finally settle on Drew.

  “I...I don’t know what to say.” Her eyes plead with Drew to somehow fix this.

  I want to punch her. She did this. She created this mess and destroyed the man she was supposed to love unconditionally. Now she silently begs for him to save her.

  Unbelievable.

  “You can start from the beginning. They each deserve to know why you did this,” I say, trying to help her along, give a little guidance so maybe we can all make it out of this in decent shape.

  “YOU! This is all your fault. You did this. You got us all into this mess.” Sarah walks up to me and slaps me across the face.

  Doug rises.

  Drew shouts, “Sarah!”

  I stand there in shock, rubbing the spot she hit to relieve the sting.

  “You touch her again and the meeting is over. Do you understand?” Drew’s in her face, warning her.

  She nods.

  “Good. Now if you will.” He waves towards the sofa. “Take a seat and fill us in on what happened,” Drew demands.

  “As I was saying,” she doesn’t waver, “it’s all her fault. All of it.” She waits for one of us to have a reaction, but we don’t. “I dated Doug all through high school and in college. Well, that is, until you came in and stole him away.”

  “She didn’t steal me away. I broke up with you before I even asked her out,” Doug corrects her.

  I’m not sure where this is going so I take a seat and settle in next to Drew, both of us a comfort to the other.

  “Whatever Doug, she was the reason and you know it. You wanted to break up with me so you could fuck her.”

  “That’s not what happened,” he interrupts again.

  “As I was saying, you broke up with me, dated her, knocked her up then married her because you had to, and I quote, ‘Do the right thing.’ That’s right. He called me up, only to break my heart once again. Told me how he wished things could be different.”

  “A.J.—”