Let Me Love You (Love #4)

by Megan Smith

  “Oh,” I laugh bitterly. “I’m just getting started, asshole.” I lunge for him, my hands trying to get a hold of his shirt again.

  Jaylinn pushes against my chest. “What the hell are you talking about?” Her eyes are wild with pain and fear. “I’m not your damn girl, you gave up that right!”

  “I fucking saw you.” I yell at her, losing my temper. “I fucking saw you!”

  Eli huffs, “Whatever you think you saw, it didn’t happen.”

  “Fuck you! I saw it with my own eyes.” Reaching over Jaylinn, I shove Eli’s shoulder. “You kissed her.”

  Eli, who is still just as cool as he was when he walked in here, takes a step back shaking his head. “I would never do that to you.”

  Jaylinn gasps and pushes me hard against the wall. “I can’t believe you would ever think that I could do that to you.” Her nostrils flare. “You can’t stand to see me with anyone else and yet you can’t be with me! It’s one or the other Cooper, you want me or you don’t. You can’t have both.”

  Jaylinn turns on her heel and storms from the room. I glance over to Eli who’s just shaking his head. “You better go after her.” He kicks the stapler out of his way. “And just for the record, I would never ever go after someone that is yours. I’m not that guy.”

  Eli shakes his head and walks out.

  “Well fuck!”

  I run back to the table, stumbling along the way. I knew I should have never listened to Eli. My heart was trying to tell me that it wouldn’t work but my brain didn’t seem to care, I’d have tried anything.

  I grab my purse from the booth and dash out of the club without saying goodbye to anyone. I walk past the bouncers who are talking among themselves. I walk around the corner of the building so that I’m out of sight before the tears start. Digging into my purse, I find my cell phone and swipe the screen to unlock it, then click on the internet icon and look up a number for a cab company.

  No way can I face Eli after that shit show and Cooper is just out of the question. Just thinking about it pisses me off to the point I’m scowling at nothing.

  I also don’t dare think to call Hunter because he’d just lose his shit and I know he’s trying to stay out of our mess. Hailey and Mason are too busy to bother. My mom’s in bed since it’s so late. The only choice I have is to call for a cab.

  I call the first place I find, holding the phone up to my ear with a shaking hand. It rings once, twice and then my phone is pulled from my hand. I spin and my face is inches away from Cooper’s. He’s so close that all I would need to do is purse my lips and we’d be kissing.

  “I’m sorry,” he says, watching me closely, his eyes scanning my face, lips, eyes, everywhere.

  I take a deep breath, “I can’t believe you, Cooper. After everything…” I take a step back so that I can get my wits about me. “After everything we’ve been through do you honestly think I would go after your friend? I’m trying to move on Cooper, you let me go.”

  Cooper’s head falls forward and his shoulder’s slump. “I fucked up.”

  I roll my eyes, “You can say that again.”

  We stand there, not looking at each other for a long few minutes.

  Cooper’s hand grazes mine. “Come home with me?”

  I yank my hand away, pissed that he’s jumped to conclusions. I fold my arms across my chest and turn my back to him.

  After a minute or two Cooper presses his large muscular body against my back. “I’m sorry. I fucked up. Come home with me so that we can talk about this in private.” He says softly against my ear.

  I can’t fight against him. Not when it’s him that I really want. With hesitation, I slowly nod my head and agree to leave with him. I have no idea what will happen once we go back to his house but I’m willing to at least see.

  When we arrive at Cooper’s I’m a ball of nerves. I can’t sit still, I’m jumpy and the butterflies in my stomach are making me feel sick.

  We’ve barely talked since opening night of Fierce. I don’t know what more there is to say to each other. He can’t move on, I can’t live in the past.

  Cooper unlocks the door and allows me to walk in first. I head towards the living room but he grabs my hand. He’s leading me towards the bedroom. I can’t go in there.

  I dig my heels into the carpet, “Uh, I’m not going in there.”

  Cooper yanks me towards him and I collide into his strong chest. “You are.” He states.

  I hate his tone. I pull my arm back. “I’m not.”

  We’re at an impasse; one of us has to give in and it’s not going to be me. Cooper stares intently at me, trying to make me feel small, but I’m not backing down.

  He looks up to the ceiling and sighs, “We need to talk. I need…” Cooper swallows hard. “I need the real and raw side of you. I can’t have you hiding from me.” Cooper takes a step closer to me. “Please.” He begs.

  I look down to the floor as a war wages inside me. I’ll be damned if I don’t and damned if I do. He’s the only one that can put my broken heart back together again but he can also smash it into pieces and it’ll never be whole again. I’ll never be able to live with ‘the what ifs’ so I give in.

  “Don’t make me regret it.”

  “You have my word.”

  I take the first step forward to his room. When I walk in, I flip the light switch on like no time has ever passed. This room is comfortable, a safe haven for me. Or at least it was.

  I place my purse down on the bed and slip my shoes off before sitting on the bed near the end. Cooper shuts the door behind him and kicks off his shoes. He walks over to his dresser and places his keys, phone and wallet on it. He turns to look at me over his shoulder.

  “Strip.”

  I involuntary shiver. It’s such a little word with such a powerful punch.

  I’m not caving in that easy. He needs to work for this. I look down at my finger nails, acting like I didn’t hear what he said.

  Cooper growls, “Jay,” I raise my eyebrows and look over at him. “Strip.”

  I shake my head.

  Cooper stomps across the room and lifts my chin up, “Strip. I’m not asking again or I’ll do it myself.”

  I bite the corner of my lip, secretly loving the authority that’s rolling off him. “You strip.” I toss back at him.

  His eyes go wide and dark, “Fine.”

  And just like that he gave into me. Isn’t that what I wanted before?

  Cooper reaches behind him and pulls his shirt off and tosses it on the floor beside me. My eyes roam from his well-defined V, across the valley of his abs, to his impressive pecs, and my jaw drops to the floor. My ring, my trust ring, is hanging from his gold chain.

  I stand up and clasp it in my hand and Cooper’s hand reaches up to cover mine. He doesn’t look at me, but looks down at our hands before letting go and undoing his jeans. They fall to floor with the rest of the clothes.

  I haven’t let go of the ring, I feel like my hand is super glued there. He’s had a piece of me everywhere he’s gone.

  “Strip.” Cooper urges with a nod.

  I jump, lost in my own world. I let go of the ring, unbutton my blouse and wiggle out of my jeans.

  We are both standing before each other in our underwear. Cooper entwines our fingers together and leads me to the bed. He pulls back the covers and allows me to climb in. I scoot over to the middle and wait for him. After a little moving around on both of our parts we finally fit together like a puzzle piece.

  Cooper nuzzles his nose in my neck and whispers the three words I’ve been longing to hear. “I love you.” Cooper kisses my jaw. “I love you so fucking much it hurts to breathe, Jay.”

  My body hums to life and starts to shake at his admission.

  “I thought I was doing what was best for you.” Cooper leans up on an elbow and gazes into my eyes. “I was fucking wrong. So wrong.” He leans down and kisses me gently on the lips. All the fight that I once had left my body the second I saw my ring around his
neck. “I was afraid. I didn’t think we would survive if I had made love to you.” Cooper sighs. “All I used to see was Kevin hovering over you when I broke the door down. I couldn’t get the picture out of my head. The problem was me Jay, all me.”

  I reach up and cup Cooper’s cheek. “I know, but I wasn’t helping either. You picked up the pieces for me and that should have been enough but it wasn’t. I pushed you for something you weren’t ready for.”

  Cooper crashes his lips to mine, roughly at first and then he slows it down a notch. I run my hands through his hair.

  “Cooper,” I wait until I’ve got his full attention. “Just let me love you.”

  “Okay.” He says in a husky voice. “One day at a time, we’ll get through this together. No more fighting against each other.”

  I nod in agreement and suck my bottom lip into my mouth.

  Cooper groans, “Stop that.”

  I smile sweetly, loving the fact that I can still affect him.

  His face grows serious again. He swallows a few times before he finds the words he’s looking for. “You didn’t…” He can’t even finish his sentence.

  I let him sweat it out for a minute or two. I keep his gaze pinned to mine.

  I shake my head and say, “I haven’t.”

  Cooper exhales and his body relaxes. “Can I ask you what was really going on with you and Eli? I know you two have been hanging out a lot recently.”

  I look away and then back to him again. “We were throwing you a curve ball.”

  Cooper growls and braces himself over me. “A curveball, huh?”

  I nod.

  “I’ll show you a curve ball.”

  Cooper takes his time getting familiar with my body again. He starts from the top of my head to the tips of my toes.

  “Please,” I beg, not even sure what I’m begging for.

  “I’m sorry Jay,” he says, pulling back to look at me. He looks sincere, as if stopping right now isn’t what he wants at all. I can see that, and feel it. “I’m not saying no, I’m just…” he pauses. He shows me his intentions with a kiss, so pure, so…Cooper. “I’m just saying not tonight. I want to plan something special for you,” his lips find mine again, another deep meaningful kiss, “for me…” they’re back, sweet, tender, slow and torturous, “…for us.”

  Suddenly I’m nervous but that outweighs the thought of us finally being together.

  “I just can’t tonight. Not after everything. What we share needs to be between us and not when we’re feeling this raw.”

  His words have me falling in love all over again.

  I’ve got one week before I have to report back to baseball and make it my life again. I want to take this next step with Jaylinn before I have to leave and I thought what better time to use our Christmas present than now.

  I called up MacKenzie to help me set it up. She called and scheduled the whole next week for Jaylinn and me to spend together.

  I sent Jaylinn to the gym with Layla for at least an hour. I sent MacKenzie to Jaylinn’s house so she could pack a bag for her. MacKenzie meets me at my house right before Jaylinn is due home. My sister stands on her tip toes and hugs me. “I love you. Please, I’m begging you to take this time and figure out whatever is going on with you guys. You both love each other Cooper, we all see it.”

  I hug her for a second longer before releasing her. “I’ve got this, trust me.”

  MacKenzie smiles, “I trust you big brother.”

  We say our goodbyes and MacKenzie is pulling out of the driveway as Layla is pulling in. Jaylinn jogs over to me, “Why did MacKenzie leave already?”

  I tip Jaylinn’s chin up to me and kiss her lips. “She helped me pack.” Layla beeps to us as she drives away. “We’re going away.”

  Her eyebrows furrow, “I can’t leave, I’ve got soccer practices and a scrimmage on Saturday morning.” While MacKenzie was packing Jaylinn’s bag I called Jay’s assistant coach and explained that I was taking her away for the week and to see if she could cover. I added a little Cahill charm and she agreed.

  “It’s been handled.” I reach inside the door and grab one of the bags and hand it to Jaylinn. “We’ve got to get going.”

  “But.”

  I place a finger over her lips, “It’s all been handled. Let me get you out of here for a little while. Trust me.”

  “Trust you.” Jaylinn repeats.

  “Yes, do you trust me?”

  Jaylinn bites on her bottom lip and nods. My dick twitches every time I see her doing that. Get your mind out of the gutter Coop and get her out of here.

  “Good, then help me so we can go.”

  I practically force her out the door. I don’t want her asking questions; I just want to get her there. We get my truck packed and are on the road within thirty minutes.

  With each passing mile I visibly see Jaylinn relaxing. My hand is in hers the entire way, our fingers tangled together. We’ve waited so long for this night that I begin to think that maybe things won’t go as planned. Like the goddamn weather.

  I had these envisioned it being sunny so I could take her to the lake for a little while but the closer we get, the darker the clouds are.

  I’m cursing the damn weather when we pull into the driveway hours later and Jaylinn is laughing. As soon as the truck stops she opens the door and giggles. I smile, watching her as she dances around in the rain with her hands over her head. This girl, right here, is the girl that I fell in love with. My brave, fearless girl.

  The house is a beautiful log cabin tucked into the Pocono Mountains. It’s a secluded area, all you see are trees. There’s a small stream that runs along the side of the house and past the driveway. I take it all in before I get out and walk over to her side of the truck and lean against the bed, watching her.

  My plans are shot to hell but right in this moment I don’t give a fuck. Looking at her, all wet and sexy. Yup, right now the rain is looking damn good.

  She stops dancing when she sees me leaning against the truck, and seductively makes her way over to me.

  I can’t wait another minute. Would it make any sense to? The way she’s staring at me with those pretty blue eyes, I know she can’t wait anymore either.

  I have her pressed against the side of the truck, my hands on her waist, edging her shirt up. “Fuck,” It’s clinging to her body and being a little impatient, I rip it off. It makes a slapping sound as it hits the dirt. With my legs positioned just right I reach down and lift her up so she can wrap her legs around my waist.

  She makes a moaning sound, a plea maybe, and I want it to be my name she’s screaming, right then. With the urges ripping through me, ready to finally make her mine, my mouth is everywhere, I can’t get enough. The wind picks up, the skies open up and she jumps in my arms as thunder cracks.

  “I got you.” I whisper in her ear. I wrap my arms around her, protecting her. I will forever protect her. I can barely see through the pouring rain but there’s just something about this moment that keeps me here. I know once I get her inside there is nothing that will keep me from finally taking her virginity. But here, right now, in this storm, we’re both so fucking bare. We’re at the mercy of the storm.

  Jaylinn is watching me, waiting for me to move. I hold her here, wanting her to see this is the last moment that we have before it’s gone. Before everything changes.

  I mouth the words I love you, barely above a whisper. She smiles and tangles her hands in my wet hair, grasping at it. My eyes dart from her eyes to her lips, and lower. When she sighs, my eyes find hers again. “What are you waiting for?”

  “Nothing.” I say, smirking. “I’m just enjoying the view.”

  Jaylinn takes one hand from my hair and reaches for the clasp on her bra. She has it off in a second. “You’re at second base, now what?”

  Ah, my girl wants to play baseball, I never turn down a game. I lift her up a little more and get a good grip on her ass. I get her tits right where I want them. In my face.

  I
don’t waste another second before I take her right nipple in my mouth, sucking the water off them. Jay moans at the sensation, her body shudders. She uses both hands to press me into her. Her legs tighten and we slump against my truck, she slips from the rain and I have to stop what I’m doing to catch her.

  Her eyes go wide in panic as I laugh. “I’ll always catch you.”

  I hope she sees the meaning behind those words and how true that statement is. She needs to know that before we go any further.

  She laughs, the sound turning me on even more than I already am. Jaylinn reaches around me for a better grip but her hands slide right off from the rain. Giving up, she fists my shirt between her fingers and starts to tug. I help her out and move my legs again to support us both, and then pull my shirt over my head, throwing it near hers.

  We are now both bare from the waist up. At this rate we’ll both be naked before we make it to the door. Thank you for this secluded area, I am not going to share her with the world. If she keeps looking at me with those sweet innocent eyes we will be naked. I’m okay with that because she understands that I’ll catch her. I can feel it in the way she’s kissing me, slow and full of passion. We’re inhaling the future.

  The rain picks up again, as do our kisses. I’m not holding back. I’m giving it all to her.

  With a firmer grip on her this time, I push back away from my truck and turn around as I start walking towards the cabin. Her mouth never leaves mine and there are moments that we stop, over and over again, feeling, kissing, and taking what we need all the way to the house.

  Eventually we make it to the front door where I fumble with the keys. Once I get the door open and step inside I slip and fall. My wet shoes have no traction on a freshly polished hardwood floor but thankfully I twist just in time so she lands on my chest.

  Jaylinn starts laughing uncontrollably. “Only us, Coop. We’re about to have sex, it’s pouring and we just slipped on the floor.”

  “I don’t see a problem with that.” I say, rolling her over so I’m hovering over her.

  “Yeah,” she gives me a coy smile, “I don’t see one either come to think of it.”