Sky's the Limit

by Janie Millman

  ‘No, today I’ve promised Sonny that we would go exploring. Tomorrow is the big day.’ She smiled uncertainly. ‘Sky, I’ve been rather foolish and not thought this through, can I ask you a big favour, it’s incredibly cheeky of me and feel free to say no, but…’

  I reached over and took her hand. ‘Gail, of course I’ll look after Sonny for you, it will be a pleasure. I’d already thought about that.’

  ‘Oh, that’s so kind of you.’ She looked relieved. ‘I just go cold at the very thought of seeing him, I can’t quite believe that I’m here in the same place as him.’ I could see that she was actually trembling a little. I didn’t blame her, I’d be bloody terrified too. ‘It all feels rather surreal,’ she continued. ‘It’s just so unlike me, usually everything is meticulously planned in advance.’

  ‘Well, you didn’t plan very meticulously five years ago.’ I was deliberately teasing, wanting to ease her tension.

  Gail looked at me for a second and then smiled. ‘Oh, Sky, I can’t tell you how glad I am that you’re here, I feel like I’ve known you for ever.’

  ‘The feeling is mutual.’ I smiled back at her then hesitated for a minute before asking, ‘Gail, why now? Why didn’t you get in touch with him before now?’

  She looked quickly away towards Sonny.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ I said, immediately concerned that I had gone too far. ‘You don’t have to answer that, I didn’t mean to pry.’

  ‘You’re not prying, I imagine that he will ask the very same question.’ She paused and took a deep breath. ‘Tariq turned my life upside down, Sky. Before I met him I was nicely settled with a man called Simon, several years my senior, rich and reliable. I thought I was happy and we were planning on getting married. Then one day I walked into a room, I saw Tariq and nothing has ever been the same again.’ She pushed her fair hair off her face and gazed into the distance for a minute before continuing. ‘He quite simply took my breath away. The weeks I spent with him were the most amazing weeks of my life. I never wanted to leave his side and he never wanted to leave mine, he occupied my every waking hour, well, you know what it’s like.’

  I wasn’t at all sure that I did, but said nothing.

  ‘Then he went travelling, that was always the plan, that was the reason he had come to Europe in the first place, to study and to travel. He was training to be an architect. We kept in touch daily until I discovered I was pregnant.’ She paused again but I remained silent. ‘I was both terrified and overjoyed. I didn’t tell Tariq, I thought that would be better face to face, but I did confide in a colleague. That was a mistake, a big mistake.’ Gail’s face darkened with the memory. ‘She told me horror stories of Moroccan men kidnapping their children, she persuaded me that Tariq must have a marriage already arranged, that he would never marry a European girl, but that if he heard about my pregnancy he would find a way to take the child from me, especially if it was a boy.’

  ‘Why on earth would she tell you all that?’ I was shocked. ‘And more to the point, why on earth did you believe her?’

  ‘She was jealous, but I didn’t know that at the time. I was hormonal, I was vulnerable, I wasn’t thinking straight and I didn’t know which way to turn. I didn’t reply to Tariq’s messages, I couldn’t, I just didn’t know what to say.’ Gail sighed. ‘Looking back now I realise how weak and pathetic I was.’

  I leant over to hug her. ‘Not weak and pathetic at all, just alone and afraid. Did you not have any family you could turn to?’

  ‘I have a much younger sister who has been my responsibility since our mum died. She knew about Tariq, I told her how much I loved him but she didn’t really understand. She was angry because she liked Simon, or rather she liked his lifestyle. She didn’t know I was pregnant.’

  ‘And so what happened?’ I was mesmerised by the story. ‘Did you get in touch?’

  ‘No, stupidly I procrastinated a bit longer and then before I had a chance I received a letter.’ Gail stopped suddenly, tears were welling up in her eyes and she brushed them away angrily. ‘He said he hoped I had enjoyed our brief interlude and wished me luck with the rest of my life. I was heartbroken.’

  ‘Oh, Gail.’ I was nearly in tears too. ‘And then what? What did you do then?’

  ‘Well, I got on with the rest of my life. What else could I do? I knew I couldn’t go back to Simon, not only was I pregnant but being with Tariq had made me realise that whatever I felt for Simon wasn’t love. He’s a wonderful man, even offered to take me and the baby, but he deserved better than me.’

  ‘Gosh, that was brave, many would have been tempted.’ But I was puzzled. Something didn’t ring true. ‘Tariq’s behaviour doesn’t make any bloody sense.’ I shook my head. ‘After what you said you had together, why would he write a letter like that? Even if you hadn’t been very communicative surely he would have tried to find out why? Not just sent a strange letter.’

  ‘With hindsight, you’re right, but back then I was very angry, confused and hurt. I didn’t analyse things. Maybe that’s why I’m here now, to finally get to the bottom of it. My fortieth birthday is looming and I guess I’m taking stock of things.’ She smiled ruefully at me. ‘Oh, Sky, I’m so sorry, what a long answer to your question.’ She shook her head. ‘I can’t really believe that I’ve unburdened all this, I don’t normally behave like this and it’s not yet nine o’clock.’

  ‘Christ, don’t be sorry, it’s riveting, thank you for sharing it.’ It was riveting, and it also gave me something other than my own worries to think about. ‘However I do need more coffee and you haven’t had anything at all yet.’

  As if on cue Beatrice emerged from the shadows bearing a tray of coffee, water and mint tea.

  ‘You’re a bloody witch, Beatrice,’ I exclaimed. ‘How do you manage to do that? It’s like magic.’

  ‘I have eyes and ears everywhere, Sky. It’s part of the job.’ She grinned at me. ‘Actually I came out earlier to see if you wanted anything and to get Sonny, but the two of you seemed so engrossed that I didn’t want to interrupt.’ She smiled gently at Gail. ‘I’ve brought you some tea, cheri. I had you down as a tea drinker, am I right?’

  ‘Sky is right, you are a witch.’ Gail smiled. ‘Tea is exactly what I want, I adore this mint tea.’

  Sonny had leapt up at the sight of Beatrice and was hurtling towards her.

  ‘Sonny, don’t run by the pool,’ Gail shouted sharply.

  He skidded to an abrupt halt and walked with exaggerated care for the last few steps, grinning mischievously at his mother.

  ‘God, he is so adorable, Gail.’ I held out my arms. ‘Come and give us a cuddle, Sonny, you haven’t even said good morning to me.’ He obediently obliged but as he clambered up onto my knee I felt the all too familiar tightening in my chest.

  Would that particular pain ever ease? Would things have been different if I had managed to keep our baby? Would Miles still have left me? What the hell was going to happen now? Would I ever have another chance to try for a child? I was nearly thirty-five, not exactly old but nonetheless time would run out soon enough.

  My mind was like a windmill and with each sail came a new thought. I wanted to stop it from turning but it rotated relentlessly. My arms must have tightened around Sonny. He squirmed out of my grip and slid down. I swallowed hard and looked up at the sky; this was not something I could cope with right now.

  ‘Is it time to feed the cat, Buttress?’ Sonny was tugging at Beatrice’s sleeve.

  ‘Buttress?’ She grinned down at him. ‘Well, I guess I have been called worse – or have I?’

  Gail shook her head in despair and I gave a half-hearted smile.

  ‘Would you girls like breakfast after Sonny and I have fed the animals or is it too early? Our American sisters won’t emerge until mid-morning.’ Beatrice asked us both but I felt her eyes boring into me.

  ‘Oh, breakfast sounds perfect,’ I said quickly, before she could ask if I was OK. I got the impression that Beatrice was fast to latch on to things and c
hildren was not a subject I wanted to discuss right now.

  ‘Are we the only other guests staying here? I spotted an older gentleman sitting by the fire last night. Is he staying here?’

  Beatrice gasped. ‘That older gentleman is my ex-husband Philippe. The one you saw in the photo. Mon Dieu, he will be mortified to hear you call him old.’

  ‘Oh my God, I’m so sorry.’ I sat up. ‘It was dark and he had a walking stick and I guess I just kind of assumed, please don’t say a word.’

  ‘And speak of the devil, here he is,’ Beatrice said as a man entered the courtyard.

  He certainly looked a million miles away from the impression I’d formed of him last night. He was tall and tanned, dark sunglasses held back thick curling hair and he was wearing a long flowing black and silver kaftan, flip flops and carrying an old wooden walking stick.

  ‘Cheri, that really suits you, Bushara picked it out.’ I watched Beatrice nod in appreciation. There was clearly still a spark there. I also noticed Gail looking on in admiration.

  ‘Philippe, come and meet Gail and Sky.’ Beatrice paused for a moment before winking at me. ‘Actually, Sky did see you last night, sitting by the fire, she was under the impression that you were a geriatric.’

  I was absolutely mortified. ‘Beatrice, you promised.’

  ‘I did no such thing, and besides he needs to be reminded that he is no longer twenty, he needs to remember that he can no longer race recklessly down the ski slopes or he will fall and injure himself badly, as indeed he has.’

  ‘I was not reckless, Bea, I was merely unfortunate.’ He gave his ex-wife a wounded look. ‘I am in a great deal of pain and a little sympathy would not go amiss.’ Turning to Gail he held out his hand. ‘Delighted to meet you.’

  ‘And I you,’ she replied looking up into his hazel eyes.

  Turning to me he said, ‘I confess that I am perhaps less delighted to meet you having heard your description of me.’

  I blushed furiously but was saved from replying by Sonny.

  ‘Won’t Cat be hungry now?’ He tugged on the arm of Beatrice. ‘She may have runned away because she’s hungry.’

  ‘Hello, what’s your name?’ Philippe smiled gently down at Sonny.

  ‘Sonny,’ Sonny replied. ‘You’ve got a stick.’ He reached out to touch it, fascinated by the old gnarled wood.

  ‘Sonny, don’t be so rude.’ Gail frowned at him.

  ‘It’s OK, he’s quite right, I have got a stick, but Sonny, this is no ordinary stick.’ Philippe bent down to whisper in his ear. ‘This is a magic stick.’

  ‘Is it a wand?’ Sonny’s eyes were wide, the cat had been temporarily forgotten.

  ‘No, not exactly a wand, but it performs magic tricks.’ Philippe steadied himself on the back of a chair and theatrically twirled it around. I ducked instinctively. It was dangerously near my head. Perhaps this was his way of taking revenge.

  ‘Philippe.’ Beatrice grabbed the stick. ‘Show Sonny the magic later, right now we need to go and feed Mimi and the girls want breakfast. Do you want some?’

  ‘Well, if it won’t disturb anyone, I was planning on a swim first. I didn’t realise everyone would be such early risers.’

  ‘Girls.’ Beatrice smiled at us wickedly. ‘Will you be disturbed by an ageing Adonis taking a dip?’

  CHAPTER TEN

  ‘May I introduce you to Radar.’ Beatrice had her arm around a small, skinny lad of indeterminate age. He grinned at us, showing surprisingly bright white teeth overlapping each other in an overcrowded mouth. He was wearing dusty sandals, baggy jeans and a Liverpool football shirt. He held out a grubby hand to each of us in turn.

  ‘When you said you had a radar to navigate us around the souks I assumed you meant some sort of sat nav.’ I was amused.

  ‘Trust me, Radar is better than any sat nav.’ Beatrice smiled at Radar and I saw him glow with pride. ‘He knows every square inch of Marrakech, isn’t that right?’ She turned to Philippe who had emerged dripping from the pool.

  ‘You couldn’t have a better guide,’ he agreed, throwing his kaftan back on. ‘There isn’t an alleyway, archway or ancient goat track that Radar doesn’t know about.’ He winked at the young boy. ‘You’re growing out of your football strip but not into your jeans.’

  ‘Radar, why don’t you go into the kitchen and have some breakfast. Sky and Gail will come and get you when they are ready.’ Beatrice gently pushed him.

  He needed no second bidding and saluting her smartly ran across to where Bushara stood waiting.

  ‘He’s some character,’ Gail chuckled as Sonny looked on open-mouthed.

  ‘Where does he come from?’ I asked.

  ‘Well, he attached himself to Ibrahim and Bushara and then when they came here he sort of followed. He’s a real street urchin, he stays here most nights but every so often he likes to rough it outside.’ Beatrice silently handed Philippe a coffee. ‘No one knows his background, we have no idea where he came from but we’re very glad he did.’ She looked at us. ‘You will be absolutely safe with him. He will show you everywhere you want to go and maybe some places you don’t. The souks are an absolute maze, this is the best way to see them for the first time.’ She smiled at us. ‘You’re both very pretty, Radar will make sure you aren’t bothered too much, everybody knows him.’

  Gail coloured but I was still curious. ‘Where were Bushara and Ibrahim before here, when Radar attached himself to them?’

  ‘They worked in a tiny little café. I stumbled upon it completely by chance. The food was exquisite, the place was immaculate and the service was the best I have ever known. I offered them a job on the spot. They were being paid a pittance, the owner was a thieving bastard, it wasn’t hard to entice them here. The best day’s work I ever did.’

  ‘I’ll say.’ Philippe grinned. ‘Bea is the worst cook imaginable. No one in their right mind would stay here if it weren’t for Bushara.’

  ‘I’m sure people don’t come for the cooking alone.’ Gail laughed. ‘I think Beatrice has created a magical place.’

  ‘Not sure if it’s magic or havoc she creates, she’s a witch, aren’t you, cheri?’ He draped a wet arm around her shoulders and Mimi the cat hissed. ‘And this damn cat is really her familiar.’ He hissed back and the cat arched, ready to pounce.

  ‘You’ll get what you’re asking for in a moment, Philippe, she’ll scratch you.’

  ‘You may be divorced but you behave like an old married couple.’ I couldn’t help but laugh at them.

  ‘There she goes with the word old again.’ Philippe frowned. ‘I was reliably informed that these few silver streaks were distinguished.’

  ‘I’m not too happy with that description either.’ Beatrice shook her head.

  ‘I didn’t mean that you were old.’ I seemed to be putting my foot in it left, right and centre. ‘It’s just an expression, of course you’re not old, Beatrice, you’re beautiful.’ I meant it, I really did think she was beautiful. Her skin glowed and her blue eyes were bright and sparkling. I had no idea of how old she was, I guessed they both must be somewhere in their mid to late forties, but she certainly didn’t look it. I really hoped I hadn’t offended her. I opened my mouth to say something more but she patted me on the arm.

  ‘It’s OK, Sky, I am only kidding.’ She smiled. ‘So, is that all set then? Just come and find Radar when you are ready to go. Sonny, are you looking forward to exploring with Radar?’

  ‘Is Nick coming?’ Sonny asked. Nick had spent the previous evening teaching him card tricks and I could tell the boy was rather taken with him.

  There was a short pause and then Beatrice replied, ‘No, Sonny, Nick has gone to the food market with Ibrahim.’

  ‘Why?’ He demanded.

  ‘Sonny, don’t be so rude.’ Gail scooped him onto her lap but I could tell she was curious.

  ‘Nick is a chef.’ I found myself suddenly saying. ‘Actually…’ I couldn’t resist adding with a hint of pride, ‘actually he’s a very good chef, he
’s just been awarded his first Michelin star.’ Now why had I said that, I wondered? After all that he had done to me, why was I keen to praise him.

  ‘I’m impressed.’ Philippe raised his eyebrows. ‘Very impressed. Where does he work?’

  ‘London,’ I replied shortly and then quickly changed the subject. ‘Are the Majorelle gardens near here?’ I turned to Beatrice. ‘They are an absolute must on my list.’

  ‘Philippe is the Majorelle expert,’ Beatrice said. ‘He should take you this afternoon.’

  I began to protest and Philippe looked none too happy but Beatrice continued regardless. ‘Philippe adores the gardens, how many times have you been?’ She gave him no time to respond. ‘Sky is an artist, cheri.’

  ‘Well, actually I’m more of an illustrator and honestly…’

  ‘Bea, maybe Sky…’ Philippe began at the same time as me.

  ‘Just for a short time, she can get a feel for the place and then go back at her leisure later on in the week. Take it gently and it will be good exercise for your knee.’ Beatrice smiled brightly at us before turning on her heel and heading towards the kitchen.

  I was annoyed at the way Beatrice had suddenly taken over. I was delighted to have Radar guide me around the souks but frankly was not that keen on going to the gardens with Philippe. I had been looking forward to them and would much have preferred to discover them by myself.