Sky's the Limit

by Janie Millman

  ‘Walk around, Sky, see what else you can spot,’ Stephanie said. ‘I must admit that I’ve never looked too closely. To be honest I hardly ever come here, really, none of us do.’

  I wandered around the large room. There was some serious stuff here. I didn’t know how much she had creamed off the family over the years but I imagined that this would go some way to recompensing them. I was surprised that she had left it but then I guess she had been in a rush. She was clearly desperate to escape while she had the chance and once again I was filled with rage at a mother who could abandon her little girl.

  Christ, she didn’t even know if Emmie had been found safe. What kind of monster would do that? How come the powers that be allowed her to be a mother and yet had taken my much-wanted unborn baby away from me? Not for the first time I thought we lived in a very unjust world. I hoped that I’d never see her again, I would find it hard not to throttle her and I suspected I wouldn’t be first in the queue.

  What was I thinking? Of course I wouldn’t see her again, I was leaving the day after tomorrow and once again I was poleaxed by the thought.

  ‘OK, I think that is enough for now.’ Stephanie came in with a suitcase. ‘I’ll just check the fridge and make sure there is nothing that will go off.’ I followed her into the kitchen which, like the rest of the house, lacked any personality or character. There were expensive knives, a state of the art cooker which looked like it had barely been used and a vast American-style fridge. Stephanie opened it and shook her head in disgust.

  ‘This absolutely typifies Celine.’ She beckoned me over. There was a stack of cheap budget pizzas obviously meant for Emmie, a jar of expensive foie gras, some Roquefort cheese, a ready-made meal of boeuf bourguignon, an enormous bottle of Diet Pepsi and several bottles of serious-looking white wine.

  ‘I don’t think she has cooked anything in her life,’ Stephanie said as she took out the bourguignon, wine and cheese. ‘The pizzas and Pepsi can go straight in the bin.’ She shook her head. ‘Emmie doesn’t even like Pepsi.’ She turned to me. ‘Did you see anything of interest?’

  ‘Well I’m no expert, Stephanie, but I think there are some fairly valuable pieces here.’ I shrugged. ‘I know this isn’t exactly a crime hot spot but I wouldn’t leave them here in an empty house.’

  She nodded. ‘Come and have a look outside before we go back for breakfast.’

  I grinned. ‘My God, is it only breakfast? I feel like I’ve been up for hours.’

  ‘You have.’ She laughed.

  We wandered outside, the house was modern and soulless but it did actually have potential. Even though you couldn’t quite see the river from there the views were magnificent.

  ‘You know, if you painted the shutters a lovely soft green, grew some plants up the wall, put some hanging baskets up then that alone would make a huge difference.’ I turned to Stephanie. ‘It just needs some personal touches, it lacks… oh my God!’ I stopped mid-sentence. ‘Well, it certainly doesn’t lack a pool.’ I stared at the infinity pool carved out of the gentle hillside. It was glorious and it must have cost an absolute fortune.

  ‘Celine’s father gave them the money,’ Stephanie said, reading my thoughts. ‘The irony is that hardly anyone uses it. Celine only goes in if it’s like a very warm bath, the same applies to Claude and Emmie is only allowed in under supervision, but as there is rarely anyone to supervise her that hardly ever happens.’

  ‘God, what a waste.’ I was appalled. ‘What will happen to the house?’

  ‘I imagine Claude will sell it,’ Stephanie said.

  ‘He shouldn’t sell it,’ I said slowly. ‘You should rent it out, you’d get a lot for something like this in high season.’ I was gathering momentum. ‘Trust me, I’ve stayed in loads of villas over the years, this could be a gold mine for you, people would love it and they’d love being near the vineyard, they’d buy your wine by the bucketload.’

  ‘That is not such a bad idea, Sky.’ Stephanie smiled at me. ‘I wish you weren’t going home.’

  ‘Oh, so do I!’ I exclaimed without thinking and Stephanie stared, startled by my cry from the heart. I tried to justify it. ‘I mean, it’s been so lovely here, it’s so beautiful and everyone is so gorgeous and compared to London this is paradise.’

  She looked at me quizzically. ‘I’m going to drive back, Sky, but you should walk. You can cut through the vineyards but if I were you I’d go down the lane, around the first corner there is a wonderful view of the chateau. I think you’d enjoy that.’

  After breakfast Luc took Nick, Tariq and Gail to Michel’s chateau, Elf took Sonny and Emmie for a unicycle lesson and I took the opportunity to tell Philippe that I would be leaving soon.

  He was sitting in his study, the door was wide open but I knocked nonetheless. ‘Can I have a quick word?’

  ‘Of course, Sky, please come on in.’

  ‘This is a fantastic room,’ I said, looking around. It was an old-fashioned room. It was a room that held history, I could almost feel the presence of his predecessors sitting on the leather chairs watching us. Philippe’s desk dominated the room; made from oak, it was huge and sturdy and completely covered with papers. I raised my eyebrows.

  ‘There is a semblance of order,’ he pleaded, looking at my face. ‘But it’s only apparent to me.’

  ‘That’s all that matters then.’ I laughed as I walked over to get a closer look at some drawings on the wall.

  ‘There are some like that in my bedroom,’ I said. ‘Are they related to Belle?’

  ‘Yes they’re her ancestors.’ He smiled. ‘My father drew them.’

  ‘He was very talented.’

  ‘Only when it came to dogs.’ Philippe chuckled. ‘He tried drawing Stephanie and me several times but he always managed to give us some canine feature, it was really rather unnerving.’

  I smiled and took a deep breath. ‘Philippe, I think I may go home soon.’

  He stared at me. ‘Really?’

  ‘Well, I don’t want to outstay my welcome, and, um, well, there are things I should get back to, I guess.’

  ‘I see.’

  He sounded cross. Did he think I should stay longer? Did he not think I’d done enough?

  ‘Providing you like what I’ve done, obviously,’ I said. ‘I mean if you’re not happy then obviously I’ll stay longer.’

  ‘Of course I like what you’ve done,’ he said curtly. ‘It’s excellent.’ He stood up and, lighting a cigarette, went and stood by the open window. ‘Of course, you have things to do at home, I quite understand.’ His voice sounded strained. ‘We can’t keep you captive here.’

  If only, I thought to myself, if he only knew how much I wanted to be kept captive.

  ‘When were you thinking of going?’

  ‘Probably with the others,’ I replied. ‘If that’s OK?’

  ‘Of course it’s OK, Sky.’ He paused. ‘It’s just that…’ He stopped abruptly.

  ‘Just that what?’ I asked quietly.

  ‘Nothing, nothing, just that it came as a bit of a shock.’ He looked at me and gave the briefest of smiles. ‘We must make sure that tomorrow is a celebration.’

  A celebration was not exactly what I was feeling like but I nodded mutely and then mumbling something about going to finish the work I hurried out of the room and ran straight into Beatrice.

  ‘Slow down, Sky.’ She smiled. ‘Did I just hear you say you were leaving?’

  ‘My God, you really do have magical powers, Beatrice.’ I shook my head. ‘Nothing escapes you, does it?’

  ‘Not a lot, but this time it has less to do with magic and more to do with open doors.’ She grinned. ‘I have no idea why but voices tend to carry in this chateau.’

  I merely nodded, keen to get away but not wanting to appear rude.

  ‘Do you have to go home, Sky?’

  ‘Well yes, I mean no, it’s not urgent, but… I can’t stay here for ever, can I?’

  She looked at me and as ever I felt unnerved by her scruti
ny.

  ‘Don’t rush into things, cheri.’

  CHAPTER FIFTY-SIX

  I made my way to the pool, I needed to collect myself before the others came home and I always found swimming therapeutic. Emmie came bounding across the lawn to me.

  ‘Sky, is you going swimming? Can we come?’

  ‘Of course, cheri, but finish your lesson with Elf first, you want to be able to impress your friends with the unicycle.’ It was her dream to take the unicycle to school and show them she could ride it.

  I grabbed my costume from the changing room, I hadn’t hung it up properly and it was still damp from yesterday, but a soggy swimsuit was the least of my worries right now.

  I dived in, it was cool and refreshing. It would have been my absolute dream to have a swimming pool of my own and I thought of the fabulous infinity one not being used up the road. A sudden thought occurred to me. Maybe I could rent the house and paint there?

  Oh, stop being so bloody stupid, Sky, I chided myself, choking on a mouthful of water. That would be absolute torture and besides, where the hell would I get the money from? I’d already told Stephanie that they could get a fortune from renting it out.

  And talking of money, I’d have to seriously sort out my finances now that I was on my own. I should maybe have an exhibition, see if I couldn’t flog some stuff. Perhaps I’d have to be less picky with what I chose to illustrate. Turning down books like Colin the Clever Carrot may not have been an option any more. Perhaps I should consider teaching, I’d been approached several times by various schools and colleges but had never really fancied the commitment. I’d taught the odd private student and had done a few courses which I had loved. A sudden vision of a class in Philippe’s old sandstone barns floated into my head. With the greatest difficulty I pushed it away and concentrated on my front crawl.

  ‘Sky, we is finished the lesson.’

  Emmie stood at the end of the pool in her costume with Sonny by her side. Elf was hovering at the back.

  ‘Come on in, then,’ I shouted. They both plunged fearlessly into the water.

  ‘Come in, Elf,’ Emmie yelled at him.

  ‘I’ve not got any swimming things.’ He turned to walk away.

  ‘I’ve got some more.’ Sonny scrambled out of the pool.

  ‘He can swim in his shorts,’ I said quickly. Elf may have been short but he was fully developed and my mind boggled at the thought of him in Sonny’s swimming trunks. I smiled up at him. ‘They’ll dry in no time, come on and we can have a relay race.’

  He shook his head nervously and it suddenly dawned on me.

  ‘Elf, you can’t swim, can you?’

  ‘I probably can, I just choose not to,’ he said with dignity.

  ‘Well that is not a choice anymore,’ I said firmly. ‘Get in, I’ll teach you.’ He still looked hesitant so I played my trump card. ‘Elf, you cannot possibly live in a house by a river with a pool and not know how to swim. What if Emmie fell in? How would you help her?’

  Emmie immediately started to thrash around as if in danger and Sonny joined in.

  Elf scowled at me. ‘OK, you win.’

  Thirty minutes later he was able to swim a width unaided. It wasn’t exactly a recognisable stroke but it was progress and he was delighted with himself and so was I. It had also helped occupy my mind.

  ‘Boss, come and watch me,’ Elf yelled to Philippe who was walking across the lawn with the others. ‘Sky’s taught me to swim.’

  ‘We helped,’ protested Sonny.

  ‘You never said you couldn’t swim,’ Philippe said.

  ‘You never asked,’ Elf responded.

  ‘Sky looks blue with cold,’ Gail said, and I realised that I was indeed shivering.

  ‘Lesson over, Elf.’ I smiled at him. ‘But well done, you’re a quick learner.’

  ‘Give me a few more lessons, please, Sky,’ Elf pleaded. ‘I’ll teach you the unicycle in return.’

  ‘I think I’d rather learn the bongos.’ I laughed. ‘Less likely to hurt myself.’

  ‘OK, the bongos then, is it a deal?’ He held out his hand. ‘Shall we start tomorrow?’

  ‘Well, the thing is…’ I hesitated and glanced quickly over to Philippe. ‘The thing is, Elf, I’m going home soon.’

  ‘Home?’ Elf repeated as if I’d just said I was flying to the moon. He stared at me horrified.

  ‘No, Sky, don’t go.’ Emmie burst into noisy tears and I wished that I could join her.

  ‘Emmie, don’t cry, sweetheart.’ I tried to gather her into my arms but she wasn’t having any of it.

  ‘Why is Sky going, Uncle Philly?’ She rushed out of the pool and threw her wet arms around his legs. He winced as she hit his bad knee.

  ‘Cheri, Sky has to go home,’ he said, bending down with difficulty to untangle her. ‘Sky has work to do.’

  ‘She can work here,’ Emmie sobbed.

  ‘She’s finished her work here, Emmie,’ he said shortly.

  The words cut me to the quick. I guess that told me all I needed to know. Clambering quickly out of the pool I grabbed the nearest towel, not really caring if it was mine or not. I wrapped it around me. ‘I’ll go and get a hot shower.’ I went over to caress Emmie’s hair. ‘I thought I’d show Uncle Philippe all my paintings later, darling, do you want to show him what you’ve done too.’

  She turned her tear-stained face to me. ‘Don’t go.’ She looked so sad and I felt heartbroken.

  ‘I’m so sorry,’ I whispered.

  ‘I’ve booked a lunch in Saint-Émilion tomorrow,’ Philippe said suddenly. ‘As it’s everyone’s last day.’

  I remained silent, not trusting myself to speak.

  ‘Oh, that sounds wonderful.’ Gail stepped in. ‘Sky, go and get changed, you look freezing.’ I looked at her gratefully and headed off towards the chateau.

  I was halfway across the lawn when Philippe called after me.

  ‘Sky.’

  I turned around.

  ‘I’m going to show Tariq the barns if you wanted to join us.’

  I nodded, although it was the last thing I felt like doing. I had no inclination to discuss plans about barns that in all likelihood I would never see again. It would be sheer agony. Out of the corner of my eye I caught Nick looking at me strangely. Was that a look of pity on his face? I bloody hoped not. I quickly shouted back at Philippe, ‘OK, I’ll just get changed and come and find you.’

  I had a quick shower, threw on some clothes and plaited my wet hair. I was about to rush out of the door when on a sudden impulse I picked up my mobile from the bedside table. Before I could change my mind I dialled Miles.

  ‘Sky?’ He sounded anxious.

  ‘Nothing to worry about,’ I reassured him quickly. ‘I just wanted to say that everything is fine, well actually no, everything is far from fine, but it’s sort of OK between us.’

  There was a pause. ‘What are you saying Sky?’

  ‘Just that things have changed, everything is a bit up in the air and I’m totally confused but I’m not angry anymore, well I am still angry, but not as much, and I understand that you had no choice. Bye.’

  I hung up, aware that I hadn’t really made much sense but hopefully he would have got the drift. It seemed important to let him know that I was ready to move forward, ready to forgive. I knew now that whatever I’d felt for him had not been true love.

  I was wandering around the barns with Nick, Tariq and Philippe when Nick’s phone rang. He answered it immediately and I guessed at once that it must be Miles. He was no doubt ringing to find out what the hell I had been gabbling on about. Nick glanced quickly in my direction, confirming my suspicions.

  He wandered outside and I felt suddenly very lonely. I wasn’t at all sure I could face another day of smiling and pretending to everyone. I wondered if there was any way of getting out of lunch in Saint-Émilion tomorrow, perhaps I could feign a sudden illness. Actually I may not have had to pretend, I really didn’t feel great, my heart felt heavy and my limbs fel
t like lead. A black fog had descended and it was weighing upon my shoulders. I was suddenly aware of silence and realised that Philippe and Tariq were staring at me.

  ‘Sorry,’ I mumbled. ‘Miles away, did you ask me something?’

  ‘I was just telling Tariq about some of your ideas for the barn.’ He sounded irritable and once again I wondered if I had done something to piss him off. Maybe he wasn’t happy with my work, although he had seemed genuinely impressed. I was aware that they were talking and forced myself to pay attention.

  ‘As far as I can see the structure is fairly sound,’ Tariq was saying. ‘It really has a huge amount of potential, Philippe, there are so many things you could do with it.’

  ‘One of them is to build a restaurant,’ Nick said, walking in from outside.

  ‘What did I tell you?’ I smiled at Philippe. ‘I say art studio and he says restaurant.’

  ‘To be honest, there’s room for both.’ Tariq was pacing around much as I had done earlier in the week. ‘You even have the second smaller outbuilding which could be converted.’

  ‘Luc can have his tasting room and shop.’

  ‘Now that is a seriously good idea,’ Nick said. ‘Cheese and wine tasting evenings, Henri could play his guitar.’