Taz (Tarnished Souls MC Book 2)

by Dusty Lassetter

  “Me wife’s sister has been missing for a few months. She tracked me down because she needs our help,” Irish says. “I have no way of knowing if it was Slasher and his men, but she’s convinced someone grabbed the wrong girl.”

  “Why would she think that?” Saint asks.

  “Allison, me wife, has an identical twin sister named Ashley. She claims to have noticed men following her a few days prior to Ashley’s disappearance. Me gut says she’s hiding something, but I believe her when she says Ashley’s gone.”

  “How would Slasher know you were married if we didn’t?” Saint once again asking the question that’s on everyone’s mind.

  “I knew,” Buck announces. “Hammer knew as well. We check everyone out before you’re invited to stay, but his personal life wasn’t a threat to our club so I kept it quiet.”

  Irish sends a nod in Buck’s direction, thanking him for his silence. Everyone sitting around this table knows Buck has done the same for them. There are skeletons in every member’s closet, ones we would prefer to stay hidden.

  “If Slasher is secretly going after the people in our past we need to know why, and who could be next,” I state. “The only upper hand we have is Scarlett. Maybe it’s time we start thinking about using her as bait.”

  “I won’t allow it,” Torch growls out.

  “I don’t need your permission,” I remind him, making a point to look at his badge. He’s the sergeant at arms, I’m his vice president, he needs to remember his place.

  “She’s mine to protect, and my say is final,” Torch shouts while standing up.

  “She’s the only one he won’t kill,” I reply, looking to all my brothers for their support. I can see Saint and Teller nodding their heads in agreement, but the rest are standing behind Torch.

  “He’ll make her wish she were dead, Taz. You of all people should know that,” Torch responds.

  “Scarlett already wishes that, brother. You and Mia are the only two that can’t see it. What are you gonna do if he goes after Piper? What if Sammy’s son is next? He’s smarter than any one of us gave him credit for, and we won’t win unless we play just as smart. She could draw him out of hiding, you and I both know that.”

  “She’s been through enough,” Torch continues to argue.

  “He promised to come back for Serenity.” I announce. “I can’t sit back and wait for him to make his threat a reality. Slasher has a vendetta against this club that goes beyond Scarlett. He’ll keep his word because it would destroy Buck. What would you have us do, brother? Protect your women and allow ours to be tortured.”

  “That’s not going to happen,” Torch says, “we can protect Serenity, Scarlett, and all the others. There’s a way to do this without feeding an innocent girl to the wolves.”

  “Taz is right,” Saint finally says, “we shouldn’t wait for him to strike again. We need to start playing his game whether we like it or not. He made his move when he took our VP and Buck’s daughter, it’s our turn.”

  Teller places his hand on Saint’s shoulder, it’s his way of letting everyone know he aggress with his brother. The tension in the room becomes so thick I’m almost chocking on it. The club is divided. Hammer, Irish, and Torch are all in agreeance. Saint and Teller are on my side. Buck is the deciding vote.

  “I can’t use a child as bait, Taz. I just can’t,” Buck says.

  “You would sacrifice your own daughter?” I growl out with a menacing sneer pulling at my lips. He knows the nightmare Serenity is still living in. She wouldn’t survive another trip to Slasher’s dungeon of horrors, he knows that.

  “I know someone that would protect her with his life,” he says.

  “Irish’s mind is going to be elsewhere, in case you forgot his wife just appeared out of nowhere,” I spit, not caring if I piss Irish off with my statement. I don’t bother to turn my glare from Buck’s, but I don’t hear Irish speak up so I guess he agrees with me.

  “I’m not talking about him,” he says with a cruel grin pulling at his lips. “I’m assigning you to be Serenity’s shadow. She will move into the clubhouse, and you will be her guard twenty-four-seven. You’ll find her waiting in the room next to Sammy and Scarlett’s.”

  His words shock my system. My brain is scrambling to try and figure out what the hell just happened as Buck continues to speak.

  “Irish, Hammer will help you look into Ashley’s disappearance. Until we figure something out your wife is more than welcome to stay here, but she will have to share your room, we don’t have many vacancies left. I want everyone brainstorming on a plan to get to Slasher. For every minute he breathes is another minute our loved ones are not safe. Meeting adjourned.”

  I watch everyone exit the room, remembering Buck wanted to talk in private. After the bombshell he just dropped onto my lap I’m not going to argue. He went from wanting me to keep a fifty-foot distance from his daughter at all times, to wanting me to be her personal bodyguard.

  “We had an arrangement, remember. You get Serenity, and I get Slasher,” I say as the last member closes the door behind him.

  “Things change; besides I’m still letting you have Slasher,” Buck declares, not at all bothered by his decision. There has to be something I’m missing because even if he thought this was the best thing for his daughter he wouldn’t be happy about it.

  “What happened?” I question.

  “Serenity’s been having flashbacks of her time spent with Slasher. I thought I could be the one to help her, but I was wrong. It wasn’t until she hurt herself yesterday that I realized something has to change or I might lose her permanently.”

  “I can’t help her, Buck. She doesn’t want my help,” I whisper out. The thought of Serenity hurting herself sends a pain through my chest. I would take being stabbed repeatedly over this feeling any day, but as much as it hurts I know she no longer wants me. I made sure of that the night I called her a whore.

  “Yes, she does,” he answers confidently.

  “What makes you so sure?” I ask.

  “It’s your name she hollers out in the middle of the night.”

  Serenity

  You can do this Serenity.

  You have to do this for your dad.

  Take it one day, no, take one minute it at a time.

  Looking down at the phone I’m holding onto for dear life, I’m relieved to see the first five minutes have gone by. Okay, so I spent that time talking to myself, but at least I got through them. The thought of losing my way to call for help if something were to happen sends tiny surges of panic through my bloodstream.

  My dad told me very little when he announced I would be moving into the clubhouse. I couldn’t bear to see the disappointment on his face if I told him no, so I agreed. All I need to do is avoid Taz, which shouldn’t be a problem because my dad most likely already threatened him with bodily harm. Making sure to keep my distance from Scarlett is also a part of the plan. That’s a bag of worms I’m not willing to open. The clubhouse is plenty big enough for me to fend off their unwanted attention.

  A knock on the door, followed by Irish opening it without waiting for a response, has me quickly turning around. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. He could have been anyone, and with my back to the door he could have grabbed me. I need to be smarter, more paranoid.

  “I didn’t mean to scare you,” Irish apologetically states, switching the toothpick in his mouth from one side to the other. I just saw him yesterday morning, but it feels like it’s been longer. Maybe it’s the cuts and bruises all over his face, or the sympathetic look in his eye, but I get a sense that something is wrong.

  “What is it?”

  Irish knows when I’m serious, and the tone I used is to let him know I just want the truth. There is no reason to beat around the bush, trying to gradually fill me in on whatever is causing him to look at me like that.

  “Your dad doesn’t want me guarding you anymore, he assigned someone else,” he says, taking a step into the room. The door behind him is left open, b
ut a part of me wants to close it. This is a private conversation, and I don’t want anyone to hear it.

  “Why would he do that? I’ll talk to him. He probably thinks something is going on…”

  “He did it because me wife came back into town, Serenity,” Irish states with an angry scowl pulling at his lips. His venom-laced voice makes me believe things are much more complicated than that.

  “I know I should have told you me situation sooner, but in me defense I never thought the crazy bitch would come find me.”

  I could get angry that Irish never hinted to the fact that he was married, but he’s become a close friend, someone I care a lot about. I can tell he’s nervous about my lack of reaction because he’s continuously moving that toothpick in his mouth. The look of uneasiness on his beaten-up face causes a grin to pull at my lips.

  “You’re forgiven,” I say wrapping my arms around his waist. I must admit I hug him for selfish reasons, but it’s okay because he’ll think it’s just me showing my forgiveness. I need to feel someone’s warmth right now. I need to feel reassured that everything is going to be alright, even if it is false.

  “There’s something else you need to hear,” Irish declares while wrapping his long arms around me. Firmly pressed against his chest, his body heat seeping into my bones, I can’t prepare myself for what is said next.

  “Taz is going to be the one guarding you from now on,” Irish says, loosening his grip on me. Pulling away from the cocoon I was comfortable in, I see movement from the other side of the door.

  Taz’s face looks just as bad as Irish’s, if not worse. I’m no fool, I wasn’t born yesterday, so the puzzle isn’t hard for me to put together. I don’t know what caused these two to come to blows, but a part of me can’t help but to think it might have been because of me. Then I remember what Taz thinks of me and the thought is quickly diminished.

  “You can leave now,” Taz says while burning holes into the back of Irish’s head.

  My new friend doesn’t move. He stays in front of me, looking into my eyes, trying to gauge my reaction to Taz being here. I never told Irish what happened the night I hid out in Taz’s room, but he isn’t stupid enough to believe Taz never came home like I told him. I honestly believed he would have killed him if I did tell, and I wouldn’t want that. Not only because it would be horrible to take the life of someone you once considered your brother, but despite what Taz thinks of me I still care about his wellbeing.

  “Don’t leave me.”

  That is what I should say. I should beg Irish to stay, but I won’t. It’s obvious he has a lot going on in his personal life, and he doesn’t need to worry about my mess anymore. My dad would never have assigned Taz to me if he had a choice. I need to have faith that everyone is doing their part to end this war with the Blacktop Sinners. This is my chance to contribute by accepting my fate, and realizing that I won’t be able to avoid Taz like I hoped.

  “I’ll be fine,” I whisper trying to convince Irish with a forced smile. He stares at me for a few more seconds before nodding his head. Walking toward the door, Taz surprises me by letting him pass without any rude comments. The look on his face says he would have enjoyed trying to put Irish in his place.

  “I never asked Buck to do this,” Taz says, walking forward.

  “All you would be is a one-night stand, but I’m not into having some psycho’s sloppy seconds.”

  I manage to keep the look on my face blank and ignore the voice in my head. I never thought he would ask my dad. Taz made it clear what he thinks of me, but apparently, he thinks I didn’t get the message. Maybe he thinks I begged my father to do this, that I schemed and manipulated the world around me so I could continue to absorb his hateful words.

  “I’m sorry. If I knew he was planning this I would have talked him out of it. I’ll go find him and see if someone else can babysit me,” I say, making sure to keep the sleeves on my arms pulled all the way down. The action has Taz’s eyes moving to my arms.

  “Serenity we should…” he starts to say while reaching his hand out toward me. Taking a step sideways, I avoid his unwanted touch and scurry out of the room.

  Passing Sammy’s room, I can hear Kaeper crying, and I instantly sympathize with him. Sometimes I feel like if I were to cry I might not stop, so I’ve learned to keep it in. I refuse to shed anymore tears over the male species. Whether it be for the man that left these scars on my abdomen, or the man that left scars on my heart.

  Rushing through the clubhouse, I can see most of the members ignoring everything going on around them, too consumed with their own thoughts, and the door to my father’s office. Trying to punch the code in with shaky fingers is trickier than it looks, and in my case impossible.

  “Serenity,” I hear Taz’s voice shouting from the distance.

  “I can’t be with someone knowing she would whore herself out for the first man that comes along.”

  “You’re going to become my whore, princess. I’m going to fuck your mouth, your ass, then take my time tearing up that sweet pussy.”

  “Serenity, baby girl what’s going on?” I hear my dad’s voice say behind me. His deep tone is enough to stop the flooding of memories, and keep me in the present.

  Taz is now standing in front of me and I can see the desire to reach out to me in his eyes. Shaking my head from side to side, I try to take a step back, but run into my dad instead. Quickly moving away from him too, I realize I’m surrounded by people.

  “Don’t touch me,” I whisper. “Just don’t touch me.”

  I know the moment someone does, I won’t be able to stop the memories. Slasher will appear, the smell of mold will thicken in the air, and I’ll be forced to live through that hell again. Tightening my hands into fists, I try to keep from showing everyone what a true freak I am.

  “Serenity, you’re bleeding,” Taz growls, causing me to flinch. Does the thought of my blood make him sick? Is he afraid I contracted some disease from Slasher?

  “I’m sorry,” I mumble while looking down at my hands. The nails that dug into my arms yesterday are now breaking the skin on my palms. Little moon shaped cuts that bleed worse than I would have thought.

  Looking back up, I can see Irish is clearing the crowd that had gathered around us. I also hear my dad’s voice coming from behind me, but it’s just white noise. My gaze zeros in on Taz’s, our eyes lock, and everyone else around us fades. I can feel the room turning damp around me, and the stench of rotting wood starts drifting up toward my nose.

  “I’m so sorry, Taz,” I say, holding my hand out to show him the blood on my palm. “I’m so sorry I became his whore.”

  Serenity

  Waking up in the middle of the night surrounded by unfamiliar furniture is going to take some getting used to. The smell of Slasher’s cologne lingers in my nostrils, and I find myself having to force vomit back down my sore throat. The events from earlier today must have added to my nightmares, causing me to cry out in my sleep. It happens sometimes, usually my dad wakes me, and I’m always left with a painful reminder when I swallow.

  “Do you need a glass of water?” A familiar voice asks.

  “More like a pill to erase the past six months,” I try joking, my voice unable to hide the fear his unknown presence brings me.

  I remember what I said to Taz earlier before the reality around me faded. I have no way of knowing how long I was in my own world, but I do recall what I heard as I was coming out of it. My dad and Taz were arguing about me, shocking, right? They were discussing their concern for my safety. My dad thinks I’m becoming a hazard to myself, and is more worried about me doing something extreme versus someone getting their hands on me again. He mentioned getting me professional help and Taz got angry at the idea. He even convinced my dad that he could help me, all he needed was a chance and for everyone to stay out of his way. I guess my options are limited, it’s Taz or white padded walls.

  “What are your triggers?” Taz asks. Not being able to see his face in the dark-room i
s making it easier to talk to him. I don’t have to witness the look of disgust on his face, or the dismissal in his eyes.

  It’s obvious he doesn’t want to play games. He wants to lay everything out on the table, and figure it out from there. Regardless of whether I want to answer, I know I must. This is better than the alternative.

  “Certain smells, anything overly sweet. The change in temperature, especially when it starts getting hot and humid. Sometimes the way someone looks at me reminds me of Slasher’s men. Certain phrases, but certain words are the worse,” I answer honestly.

  “And me,” he whispers into the darkness. The hurt in his voice almost has me believing the knowledge of him being a trigger is painful.

  “And you,” I confirm.

  “We can only work on one at a time, angel,” I hear him say.

  “Please don’t call me that,” I mumble over the noise of rustling clothes.

  “Why?” Taz questions, pulling the covers back. The cool air hitting my bare skin sends a fresh wave of goosebumps across my legs. I’m not completely nude, but the tank top and cotton shorts I’m wearing do nothing to protect me from the cold.

  “What are you doing?” I question, scooting as far away from the large body invading my bed like an army would a castle, without thought or care.

  “You need help getting over your trigger, this is the only way to do that. You need to face this thing head on and tell it to fuck off,” he answers.

  “How do you know this will work?”

  “I don’t,” he answers, shoving pillows between the valley of space between us. “Now you can relax. There’s no way our bodies will touch unless you climb over this wall of fluff.”

  “I won’t,” I say, turning my back to the make shift wall. I make sure to keep all my limbs as close to my body as possible.

  “You never answered my question,” Taz states, his voice sounding as if he finds it hard to be nice. Something tells me he would usually demand an answer, not remind someone they have yet to give him one.