Taz (Tarnished Souls MC Book 2)

by Dusty Lassetter

  The long drive back to Brady wasn’t as bad as the darkening sky would have us believe. We were lucky to outrun that storm, but as soon as we were a few miles from an all too familiar-place the black clouds opened up and mother-nature released her wrath. Giant raindrops that stung our arms when they hit were quickly soaking our clothes. The lightening splintering across the sky was just as beautiful as it was dangerous, and the thunder above was so strong it seemed like it shook the ground. While most women would have been screaming for me to pull over somewhere safe, Serenity only tightened her hold and laid her head on my back.

  An old concrete bridge comes into to focus as I steadily navigate through all the water on the road. Driving a motorcycle in the rain, especially a downpour like this, can be very dangerous. It’s a good thing I know what I’m doing. All too soon, my headlight catches the yellow reflectors on the bridge’s barricade making it impossible not to remember Faith, and the night I lost her.

  I know there is a fishing shed about a mile up the road, the only problem is getting to it. The roads are starting to flood, and driving a Harley through rushing water isn’t possible. My tires would wash out from underneath me before I could get fifteen feet.

  Serenity unwraps her arms from around my waist when the bike comes to a stop on the side of the road. I haven’t been down here in years, but I had hoped they would’ve fixed the flooding issues. I can see the cabin, but there is no way for me to get my Harley through the water sitting on the road. I would say it’s about two-foot-deep, but I won’t know for sure until I’m crossing it on foot.

  “Taz,” Serenity says, “what are we doing here?”

  “We need to take shelter from the storm, and this was the closest place,” I answer.

  When Serenity apprehensively gets off the bike, I quickly follow. She moves to take the helmet off, but I stop her hands before she can unbuckle the clasp.

  “Keep it on,” I say, “I might fall and you might bump your head.”

  “I’m confused,” she confesses, her brows turning down. If there was ever a time to take a picture it would be now. The sweet expression on her face could turn any bad day into a good one.

  “We have to get to the shed,” I announce pointing in the direction of the small building. “To do that, we have to cross this road. You are going to climb on my back, and I’m going to get us there.”

  Kneeling on one knee in soaking wet pants, I patiently wait for Serenity to climb-on my back. A few seconds of hesitation on her part is all it takes for me to start getting irritated. Water is dripping from my hair, the lightening around us could send a tree flying on top of our heads, and this woman is apprehensive about a piggy-back ride.

  “Serenity,” I growl out.

  My tone does the trick because a short second later she is on my back, and I am once again on my feet.

  “So, this is what the air up here feels like,” she jokes.

  Ignoring her witty comment, I walk forward until I’m knee-deep in rainwater. Since the water is not rushing, it’s easy to maneuver through, but I still walk carefully as to not jar Serenity. I would hate to drop her, and I’m sure she would hate me just as much if I did.

  The water stops rising about three feet from the shed, which makes it about six feet before it will begin to flood the building, but I can already tell the rain isn’t as strong, so the storm should be over us soon. Walking onto the porch, I finally place Serenity on her feet.

  The rusted iron outdoor scone is easy for a tall guy like me to reach. Feeling around for the spare key, I come up victorious just as Serenity takes the helmet off her head.

  “I guess you’ve been here before,” she says while trying to finger-brush the tangles out of her long blonde hair and walking inside the tiny fishing shed. The room is no bigger than a twelve-by-twelve with nothing but fishing supplies. There are old poles lining the walls and shelves that contain all the lures and string you could possibly need. Walking to the metal-cabinet in the far-left corner that holds the hooks and tackle boxes, I move some stuff out of my way to get to the spare matches and candles.

  “You’ve definitely been here before,” Serenity says as she watches me light three candles, laying them around the room.

  “I used to know the family that owned this part of the lake,” I confirm her suspicions while bending down to take my soaking wet boots off. They are full of water, and the squishing bubbles every time I take a step are not something I can easily tolerate.

  “Are you talking about the Moore family?”

  It doesn’t surprise me that Serenity is aware of the people I’m referring to. Brady is a small-town, and gossip spreads faster than fire here. The Moore family was the talk of the town, and on first-page news thirteen years ago. I was seventeen, Faith was sixteen, and the newspaper got it wrong.

  “Yes,” I answer walking in her direction, and leaving my boots in the corner by the cabinet. Serenity is hugging herself trying to get warm, so I take off my leather jacket and wrap it around her shoulders. The large material engulfs her body, making it impossible stop the smile that pulls at my lips.

  “Aren’t you going to get cold?” She questions.

  “No,” I answer because I need her to stop trying to take care of me. That’s one of the things I hate to love about this woman; her need to cater to me before she takes care of herself.

  “You’re just full of one worded responses. What’s going on, Taz?”

  “Has your dad ever told you how we met?” I question, sauntering over to the nearest wall. Sliding down to the floor, I rest my head on the back of the unpainted dry wall.

  “No,” Serenity reveals before following my lead, resting her soaking-wet body next to mine.

  “I was seventeen. It was a windy night, and the temperatures were steadily dropping from a cold front moving in. I was on my way to the lake to hang-out with some of the football players from my team. There was supposed to be a huge bonfire and enough alcohol to get any teenager into trouble. I was driving up to the bridge in my dad’s Ford Ranger when I saw the girl I had been dating since freshman year. She was standing on the side of the bridge looking down at all the choppy waves the strong wind was creating.”

  I pause my story, lost in the memory of her dark brown hair blowing in the wind. The peaceful look on her face as she stared into the water. She was supposed to meet me at the lake, so I was surprised when I saw her on the bridge instead.

  “Most people don’t know that Faith Moore was bipolar and clinically depressed. She spent more time talking to a shrink than she did her parents, but I didn’t give a damn. Faith was my saving grace when I was younger, and I thought I was hers. I tried to stop her from jumping, but nothing I said was going to change her mind. She had made peace with her decision.”

  “Her death wasn’t an accident?” Serenity asks. Of course, she would think it was, that’s what the newspaper had everyone believe because her family has money, and in this town money buys silence. They didn’t want people talking about their crazy daughter that killed herself, instead they spun it into a horrific accident that made them look like the brokenhearted parents that lost their only child.

  I don’t bother answering her question, I just shut my eyes and continue to tell the story that is replaying behind my closed lids.

  “She was adamant we would be together in another world, that she would wait for me. I didn’t have the heart to tell her I stopped believing in that. I couldn’t take away the hope I saw shining in her eyes. There were several cars that passed us, but no one cared enough to stop. They had their own mundane lives to live, why worry about someone else’s? When she jumped, I was prepared to go in after her, but someone stopped me. Someone who cared. He was the only one concerned for the two-teenagers standing on the side of a dangerous bridge. That someone was your dad.”

  Serenity is silent beside me, but the simple gesture of her placing her hand over mine lets me know what I’m about to say has been long overdue. I’ve been making Serenity suffer for
the decision Faith made. There is no guarantee that this angel sitting beside me will always be here, but I can’t waste another day we could have together. Lifting my head, opening my eyes to look directly into her wide blue ones, I choose to admit to her what I’ve been denying to myself.

  “You deserve better than me, Serenity. You deserve a man that will make you laugh instead of cry, love you without limitations, and say all the right things. I can’t guarantee I’ll always be that man, but I can promise to try. I’ve done enough running. I want you, only you.”

  The fresh tears pooling in her lower eyelid, threatening to fall at any minute, send a sharp pain through my chest. Those are not tears of happiness. Serenity looks visibly-pale, she has removed her hand from mine, and a new sense of dread is starting to suffocate the air.

  I’m stunned speechless. The room around us grows quiet as she tries to compose herself, and I try to figure out what the hell happened. I had thought we were past all the moronic things I’d done and said. Maybe that was wishful thinking on my part.

  “There is something you should know,” Serenity finally whispers barely loud enough for me to hear. She looks down, tucking her chin into her chest like she is trying to hide in shame. The confusion I feel only grows because there’s nothing she could have done to cause this serious of a reaction.

  “The night Slasher brought you to see the doctor, something happened, something I’ve been hiding from you.” Serenity continues to whisper, curling further into herself. She may be sitting right-beside me, but it suddenly feels like she is miles away.

  “Slasher made me believe you were dead,” the sorrow in her voice at having to say those words sends a fresh wave of pain through my chest. I can feel her agony as if it were my own. I’ve tried several times to remember that time in that hell hole, but I can’t. I was too far gone at that point. All I remember is waking up to Serenity curled beside me. She said I had been sleeping for days.

  “I couldn’t fight anymore, Taz. My body was drained, my soul already felt tainted, and my heart broken. I couldn’t fight anymore,” she repeats while crying, the tears falling from her closed eyes, landing on the wooden floor beneath us.

  “When Slasher’s man came down the stairs, my mind screamed at me to try to run, to hide, but I didn’t, I couldn’t. If I would have fought back, if I would have tried to stop him…”

  Her voice breaks and I’m thankful. I don’t need her to say the words that will remind her of the nightmare she lived through. It’s clear to me what happened, and the harsh-words I spoke to her are now on repeat in my mind. Whore. You whored yourself out.

  “I’m sorry,” she whispers, “I’m sorry I gave up.”

  “Serenity, look at me,” I plead with her. I decide it’s best not to touch her right now. There’s no way of knowing if she is lost in her memory or still here with me, but it’s the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make. I want to take her into my arms and promise to kill the man that took her innocence away, that forced her to endure something a woman never should. It’s obvious she thinks I’m going to take back the promise I just made, and that is no one’s fault but my own.

  “I can’t,” she whispers.

  “I need you to look at me, angel. I need you to see the truth in my eyes.”

  I know she hates when I use that word of endearment, but I like to sneak it in every now and then because she was my angel, my guardian angel. When she finally lifts her gaze, red-rimmed eyes staring into mine, I can see the self-hate glowing behind her blue irises.

  “I’m in love with you, Serenity,” I state in a strong-voice so there is no doubt about the truth I am speaking.

  “I love that when I breathe you in, you always smell of something different. I love that when you smile, it lights up your blue eyes and makes them shine brighter than any diamond ever could. I love that when I make you mad, you aren’t afraid to tell me. I love that you put me first, even when you should put yourself first, and I love that you protected me when it should have been me protecting you. The negative thoughts you think about yourself stop now because no one is allowed to have nasty opinions about the woman I love. Do you understand?”

  “You love me?” She questions as if my entire speech wasn’t enough to convince her. I can understand that it’s going to take more than a good lecture to persuade her. I’m just happy that I’ll have the remainder of my life to do so.

  “Yes, I’m in love with you, and I’ll do anything it takes to prove it.”

  Serenity

  “I’m in love with you...”

  I waited my entire adolescent life to hear those words, but now that he has said them, a part of me is doubting their truthfulness. Taz is many things, but I’ve never considered him a liar, so why is it I can’t help doubting his sincerity? Looking into his green eyes I sense the distress the he is feeling from everything that has happened recently and in the past. I experienced a great loss in my life when Caliber, my dad’s first VP, died. He was like an uncle to me, here one minute and gone the next, fighting for the men in his life he considered family. It’s hard to overcome grief, and sometimes people say things they don’t mean to try to mend the soul-shattering feeling it brings them.

  Is this what Taz is doing?

  Is he speaking from a place of sorrow rather than his heart?

  He didn’t make me say the words, but I know he is aware of the horrible thing that was done to me in that basement. I’ve hidden the truth for so long I started to believe I could keep it concealed in the recesses of my mind, never to come out. After chickening out the first time I wanted to tell him I convinced myself it would be better if I didn’t, but something about Taz opening up about Faith made me want to share my story. Plus, there is a part of me that hates myself for what I allowed to happen, and no matter how ridiculous it sounds, I want someone to tell me what I already know. I’m weak, and I don’t deserve his love because, instead of fighting, I gave up.

  “You’re thinking too much,” Taz mumbles, reaching out to wipe a stray tear that has slowly been descending down my cheek. Instead of removing his hand after he’s done ridding me of my problem, he cups the left-side of my face.

  “Do you remember the time you talked Buck into making me take you and your friends to the movies?” He questions, a small smile pulling at his lips showing a glimpse of his perfect teeth.

  “You told him you were worried about some jocks at school, but I knew you were lying. I wasn’t too happy about having to sit with three seventeen-year-old girls in a theater. What you probably don’t know is to this day I still can’t tell you what movie we watched because I was too busy watching you. Your enjoyment for something so simple as watching a movie, captivated me.”

  I remember the night he is talking about. My dad offered to have Torch take us, but I ultimately got my way when I convinced him the best person to protect me was his very large VP. My dad always put my wellbeing first, and being his only child made it easy to manipulate him. Not that I enjoyed doing it, but a girl has to do what a girl has to do.

  I was so excited leading up to the time to go, but then Taz was a total asshat from the very second he picked me and my friends up. He didn’t talk to us, and only answered our questions with one word responses. I had given up on the idea of having fun with him, and started concentrating on the movie. I had no idea he was watching me the entire time.

  “I was eating popcorn like a pig,” I say, nuzzling my face further into his hand.

  “I thought you looked hot as hell with butter smeared all over your face,” he jokes. Moving his warm-hand from my cheek, he grabs my waist with both hands. With ease, he arranges me on his lap to where I’m now straddling him, and his tight grip on my backside is keeping me in place.

  “Kiss me,” he growls.

  His sandy brown hair is still damp, some loose strands are falling onto his forehead, but to me Taz has never looked sexier. His chiseled jawline makes him seem even more serious, making it hard not to follow his command. I know wha
t it’s like to kiss this man, to have his lips caressing mine like they found their perfect match.

  “Since when do you not take what you want?” I ask, curios as to why he is commanding instead of taking. He’s always been the one to initiate the act, why not now?

  “I think enough of your choices have been taken away. Now kiss me,” he orders again, glancing at my bottom lip that is now between my teeth.

  “How is this a choice if I’m trapped on your lap and you’re being demanding?”

  “I’m trying to be considerate, but this is the best I can do. I’m an asshole, angel, now stop biting your lip and bring it over here for me.”

  “And if I...”

  “Fuck this,” he growls, interrupting my response. Leaning forward, removing his left hand from my bottom, he then pulls me toward him. His long fingers start travelling up the back of my neck, into my hair, before he gives it a tiny-yank to tilt my mouth just above his.

  “Tell me you want me,” he instructs, not phrasing it as a question. I know if I truly wanted to stop this I could, and that knowledge alone helps me feel safe. Taz would never take anything I wasn’t willing to give. He would never hurt me.

  “I want you,” I state honestly.

  “Tell me you need me,” he growls, tightening the pressure on my hair, sending a sudden rush of desire through my belly. This is the first time I’ve felt anything like this since the incident, and just knowing I might not have been totally ruined is thrilling.

  “I need you,” I repeat, tightening my legs around his waist. The feeling of warmth and need is growing in all the right places, driving me crazy, but I know I’m not ready to explore those right now, and something tells me Taz knows that as well. He isn’t touching me anywhere new. There is no grinding on his part, just mine.