A Not So Typical Love

by Tristen Rowen

  "You bake it for forty-five to fifty minutes," he explained. "After that, you melt some butter and mix it in and cook for another forty-five minutes. After that, you mix it in with the brownie mix and eggs and bake for twenty-five to thirty minutes. It's a long process." He placed the cookie sheet in the oven and let the oven door close with a bang.

  "What do we do while we wait?" I asked, curious as to what his suggestion would be.

  "Go swimming," he said.

  "Uh...Jordan...I don't think that's a very good idea," I said, remembering what happened earlier in the day and how embarrassed he was about it. Ignoring my comment, he left the kitchen and went outside, heading directly to the pool.

  Jordan was already in the water by the time I reached the pool deck. All of his clothes were in a pile with his phone on top, the alarm set for forty minutes. Although he didn't say anything when he saw me, I noticed a flirtatious smirk, like he dared me to take off my clothes. I had no problem taking them off, especially since I liked him looking at me. Shedding all my clothes, I jumped in beside him. Jordan immediately splashed me.

  "Who did you play with before I came around?" I asked in-between splashes. Choosing not to answer me, he disappeared under the water. I didn't trust him, expecting anything at any moment. Sure enough, he kicked me in the ass and swam away before I got a chance to catch him. He was a fast swimmer.

  Swimming on his back, he kicked the water, splashing my face. I caught his ankle, but quickly released him, not wanting him to freak out and run off. Instead, I leaned against the side of the pool, letting my legs float in front of me.

  "Jordan," I said, getting his attention. "Is this the first summer you've had someone to play with?"

  "I'm too old to play," he said.

  "No one's too old to play," I said. "But you're young. Okay, okay, you're not a kid, but you're still only nineteen. You shouldn't be alone all the time." He swam to me and leaned against the side of the pool beside me, copying my movements, letting his legs float.

  "I've had problems playing with other kids," he said, which was exactly what Tim said.

  "But you're not a kid," I said.

  Jordan swam away from me, only to return a few minutes later, bobbing up between my ankles. He went under water, then up again, approaching me little by little. Standing between my thighs, he decided to squirt a mouthful of pool water in my face.

  “Disgusting," I said as he laughed. As he was just about to do it again, I squeezed his cheeks, tilting his head to the side, forcing the water out. I actually didn't find it that disgusting. "How would you like it if I did that to you?" I asked.

  "I wouldn't care," he said, taking my legs and wrapping them around his body, my ankles hooked behind his thighs.

  "Oh yeah? You don't even like to be touched," I said.

  "You're touching me now," he said.

  "No I'm not," I said. "You're touching me." Standing directly in front of me, he fingered the bite marks on my shoulder. I was grateful Tim didn't notice the marks earlier.

  "Sorry I bit you," he said. "I used to get in trouble at school for biting other kids."

  "I can believe it," I said as he continued to touch my shoulder, staring down at it. As he took one step closer to me, I let go of him, dropping my feet to the floor of the pool. Unable to resist, I brought my fingers to his wet curls. He liked it when I played with his hair.

  My hands shifted from his waist to his back. Biting his bottom lip, he didn't say anything, not even as I squeezed his ass.

  "It's happening again," he said, burying his face in my neck.

  "Yeah, I can feel it," I said as his cock brushed against my thigh. With one small move, my cock bounced against his. Gasping, he backed away. "Sorry," I said although I wasn't really that sorry. I wanted him more than anything. He swam away, quickly getting out of the pool. "Wait, Jordan," I said. Pulling up his boxers, he looked over and at me in the pool.

  "The alarm's going off," he said. Had it already been forty minutes? "Hurry up."

  In the water, I waited a few minutes, finishing what Jordan started. I felt like a hormonal teenager.

  Jordan was already in the kitchen by the time I got back. Tim was there, too, and they were having some kind of brotherly argument, all because Tim started to melt the butter.

  “Get out," Jordan said. "You always do it wrong."

  "What's so hard about melting butter?" Tim said.

  "You burn it and then the brownies taste funny," he said, opening the oven to take out the baked cannabis. "Get out. You're supposed to be reading, anyway."

  "What are you doing swimming at ten o'clock at night, anyway?" Tim said, giving me an annoyed look. Jordan combined the cannabis with the butter.

  "Maybe you should lighten up a little," I said to Tim.

  "Don't you start," Tim said.

  "Leave us alone," Jordan said, stirring the butter. "You gotta keep stirring it." I stood beside Jordan, Tim on the other side of him so Jordan was in the middle. "Right now I'm about to tell you both to fuck off." I let out a laugh because I had never heard Jordan swear before.

  "Was that really necessary?" Tim said. Jordan shot him an evil look. "Fine, I'm going." Since he wanted us both to "fuck off," I decided it was best if I left, too. Jordan's eyes followed me out of the kitchen. Tim went straight to his room and I went to the bathroom to take a shower.

  As I opened the bathroom door to go to my room, I ran into Jordan who was apparently waiting for me. "Why aren't you stirring your butter?" I asked.

  "Are you coming back down?" he asked.

  "I didn't think you wanted me to," I said.

  "Come on," he said and went back down the stairs. After I threw on a clean pair of shorts, I went back downstairs. Jordan had turned off his headphones, letting Patti Smith’s Dancing Barefoot play through his phone.

  Jordan sang, dancing at the stove. He glanced at me as I joined him in song. Standing behind him, I held his waist as he moved in time to the music, the two of us literally dancing barefoot in the kitchen.

  "Wanna stir the eggs in with the brownie mix?" he said.

  "Sure," I said, breaking away from him. Standing beside him at the counter, I cracked a couple of eggs in a bowl and dumped the brownie mix in.

  "I've never danced with anyone before," he said, staring down at the melted butter.

  "That's too bad. You're a good dancer," I said. He shrugged, something he did a lot. He didn't like the way I was mixing so he took over. When everything was all mixed together, Jordan poured it in a pan and dropped it in the oven.

  "Now we wait twenty-five minutes or so," he said and sat down at the kitchen table. We sat in comfortable silence, listening to Jordan's Patti Smith playlist while he tapped his fingers to the music. After approximately twenty-five minutes, Jordan took the pan out of the oven and admired his work for a few seconds. "We're supposed to wait for them to cool down before cutting them, but I like to test it first." He cut out a corner piece. Catching me by surprise, he shoved a piece in my mouth.

  "It's good," I said. Cutting out a small piece of his delectable brownies, I fed it to him. He was nothing like the boy I first met or maybe this was really him and no one knew it. We fed each other a few more pieces until we realized it was close to midnight. Jordan led me up the stairs, the brownies making us feel pretty good. Instead of going to the bathroom to brush his teeth and get ready for bed or go to his own room, he went right to my room, or the room I was staying in for the summer.

  "Uh...Jordan...what are you doing?" I asked. He didn't say anything, crawling into my bed. "Jordan, you can't sleep in my bed. Tim would kill me." Yawning, Jordan closed his eyes. I knew it was too late; he was asleep by the time I made it to bed.

  Story of My Life

  Jamie

  The side of my bed was still warm where Jordan slept all night, but when I opened my eyes, I discovered he was gone. He wasn't anywhere in my room. I wandered down the stairs, made myself a cup of coffee, and went outside to the porch in the hopes of
finding Jordan. He was the first thing I thought about in the morning. Instead, I found Tim reading. Nothing changed since we were kids, always a bookworm.

  "Hey," I said. "Have you seen Jordan anywhere?" I asked.

  "Huh?" he said, not looking up from his book.

  "Jordan," I said. "Have you seen him?"

  "Why are you so interested in the whereabouts of my brother?" he asked, finally looking up from his book.

  "Just wondering," I said, hoping Tim would forget about my curiosity and return to his book.

  "He's out and about somewhere," he said. "I see you two helped yourself to the brownies already." I sat down, hoping Jordan would show up.

  "It was just a taste test," I said.

  "A quarter of the pan is gone," he said. Yeah, I guess we got carried away, I thought to myself, remembering last night. "He was up early today. He's always up early, but earlier than usual. I think he's excited about going with you today. I really don't know what's gotten into him lately."

  "He's kind of fun," I said, spotting Jordan at the entrance of the woods in only his boxers and bare feet. A smile immediately came to my lips when I saw him.

  "Hey, where are you going?" Tim asked as I got up to go to him.

  "I'm going to play," I said.

  "I think you've eaten way too many brownies and smoked way too much weed," he said.

  "Maybe," I said, running down the porch stairs. "Morning," I said once I reached Jordan. "Did you sleep okay?" He didn't say anything, walking back into the woods, leading me to the raspberry bushes. He picked a handful, then stopped abruptly in front of me. "What are you going to do, feed me?" I teased. Opening my mouth, I accepted the raspberries.

  "Do I snore?" he asked after he popped a few raspberries in my mouth.

  "No," I said. "But I'm a sound sleeper, so I guess I really wouldn't know. Noticing his legs covered in dirt up to his knees, I added, “You know you really have to take a shower before we go.”

  "Yeah, I know," he said, feeding me another raspberry.

  "And swimming in the pool doesn't count."

  "Yeah, I know." Jordan started walking again and I followed, wondering where he was taking me this time. We walked further and further, landing on a mountain of rocks.

  "I don't know how you walk out here in your bare feet," I said.

  "I'm used to it," he shrugged. He walked over the rocks, back and forth, back and forth. I knew him well enough by now to know he was thinking about something. “I've never been on a plane," he said. "My dad's been everywhere and I've never left New England."

  "Maybe you can come see me in London," I said. He stopped walking and looked at me, not sure if I was serious or not. I liked the idea of him visiting me in London. "But you'll need a passport."

  "Tim would never let me go." I didn't think he needed permission from Tim. It seemed like he needed permission for everything.

  "You're nineteen," I said. "You're not a kid, right?"

  "Will you help me get one?" he asked, walking toward me. "A passport I mean?"

  "Yeah, sure," I said, briefly thinking that maybe he could visit me over Christmas break.

  "We could see the Tower of London," he said.

  "Yeah, whatever you want," I said, combing my fingers through his hair. "We'd have a lot of fun." I loved looking into his deep brown eyes. And I loved it when he looked into mine. He took one step forward, then back again, spinning around.

  "Come on," he shouted to me, running down the rocks. He ran all the way back to the house, going straight to the pool, jumping in. I followed closely behind him because, after all, he told me to "come on."

  "I told you, you had to take a shower," I said.

  Tim climbed up the ladder as I stood on the edge of the pool while Jordan swam.

  "Are you sure you want to take him?" Tim asked me. "I know you're living here rent-free, but I don't expect you to babysit him or...or take him to your parents.'"

  "Who says he needs a babysitter?" I said. "He's a cool kid. We like the same music."

  "You're not getting any ideas about him, are you?"

  "What are you talking about? What kind of ideas?" I said, playing dumb.

  "I'm just saying, Jamie. He's completely innocent and naive and...well...just don't get any ideas." Was he really that innocent? "He's my responsibility and he doesn't need sexual confusion on top of everything else."

  "Give me a break, huh?" I said, doing my best to hide my nervousness. "Give me a little bit of credit. We swim and go for walks together. That's it. I'm taking him to my parents and then the fireworks. Let him live a little."

  "You don't know him," he said. "Come on, Jordan," he directed his attention to him. "You have to take a shower." After another twenty minutes of swimming, he did as he said.

  Jordan took a marathon shower, which I didn't quite understand since most of the dirt washed off in the pool.

  Ready to leave, I waited for Jordan at the front door with a mouthful of brownie. He looked so cute in his khaki shorts and plain black t-shirt. I instantly smiled, noticing his black chucks without socks.

  "Be good," Tim said as Jordan made his way to the door.

  "He's not a little kid," I said. "He'll be fine." Tim rolled his eyes at me and wished me luck.

  My parents lived about forty-five minutes away, over the New Hampshire border. Growing up, I only lived ten minutes away from Tim by bike. After my younger sister Liz moved out, my parents downsized to this one bedroom townhouse in a retirement community.

  Sitting in the residential parking lot, Jordan hesitated before getting out, staring blankly ahead. Maybe Tim was right. Maybe I shouldn't have taken him to my parents' house, away from his routine.

  "Are you alright?" I asked. "You want me to take you home?"

  "Are your parents nice?" he asked.

  "I think they are," I said. "Are you alright?" I asked. Just staring out the window, he didn't say anything. "Jordan?" Tim was right and now I was stuck. Or maybe not.

  A few minutes later Jordan finally opened the door. Breathing a sigh of relief, I got out of the car. I really hoped my mother was having a good day because if she wasn't, then I feared Jordan wouldn't, either.

  "It's going to be alright," I said, bringing an arm around his waist, leading him to the front door. "I'm touching you," I teased.

  "Don't," he said.

  "You didn't even notice until I said something," I said, approaching the front door.

  My twenty-eight year old sister, Liz, opened the door. "Oh my God," she gasped, hugging me. We hadn’t seen each other since Christmas. "You cut your hair."

  "Yeah, I didn't want to look like Thor," I said, looking at Jordan.

  "Huh?" she said.

  "Never mind," I said. "This is Jordan." Looking away, he merely nodded shyly although I knew he wasn't shy, not as shy as he seemed, anyway.

  "This is Tim's brother, right?" she said. She went to shake his hand, but Jordan was having none of it, keeping his arms by his side. "It's nice to meet you," she said.

  "He's kind of shy," I said. "How's Mom?"

  "Okay," she said as my dad emerged with my mother not far behind. Her face brightened when she saw me. I'd say she was having a decent day. Recognizing me right away, she kissed my cheek and hugged me. My dad hugged me, too. And then I felt guilty and thought maybe I should visit more often, especially since I was going away for ten months. I introduced them both to Jordan who didn't say a word, not that I expected him to.

  "What happened to Gina?" my dad asked, quickly coming to the conclusion that Jordan was perhaps a surprise replacement for Gina. I forgot I hadn’t told them that she and I broke up and that she kicked me out. They didn't really need to know that she kicked me out.

  "Uh...well, Gina and I broke up and I've been staying with my friend, Tim. You remember Tim, right?"

  "Oh, you're Tim's younger brother!" my mother exclaimed. "I remember you." She was having a really, really good day. "Wasn't it just yesterday you were four years old and mute?"
Mute? He was far from mute.

  "I think he's still mute," Liz said.

  "No, he's not," I said.

  We sat outside on the small back patio while my dad grilled hamburgers and hot dogs. Liz had prepared a fresh vegetable platter that immediately caught Jordan's eye.

  "You like vegetables, huh?" Liz said as he snatched more and more baby carrots.

  "Baby carrots," I said, but then he took a few yellow peppers from the platter, so perhaps he liked other vegetables besides baby carrots and green beans.

  "Are you in college?" my mother asked. He only looked at her, not responding, not that I expected him to.

  "Yes," I replied for him. Our knees touched as we sat close to each other. With his hand on top of my knee, he rubbed this thumb back and forth against it. I was almost certain he knew what he was doing.

  "Can I talk to you for a minute?" Liz said to me. Quickly I braced myself for another lecture. She tugged at my shirt until I got up.

  "I'll be right back," I said to him as he looked up at me with his big brown eyes. I followed Liz into my parents' small kitchen.

  "What are you doing with a kid?" she demanded in a whisper. Her ash blond hair was tied back loosely in a ponytail. Some wisps of hair had escaped, sticking to the sides of her face from the July heat and humidity.

  "He's not a kid," I said. "He'll be twenty in October."

  "Twenty in October? That makes him nineteen. He also happens to be Tim's little brother. I can't believe you." Liz let me have it while I bit my bottom lip in-between biting my nails, which I rarely only ever did when I was confronted about something I didn't want to talk about.

  "There's nothing going on," I said, but she gave me that "I know you" kind of look. She stared and stared at me until I caved. "Okay," I sighed. "I haven't felt anything like this since Gavin. I don't know what to do. I really like him."

  "I knew it," she said. "I could just tell. Is he even gay?"

  "I don't know," I said. "Maybe."

  "He's cute. I have to give you that. You really know how to pick them," she said. "And he likes you that's for sure, but I really don't think it's a good idea for you to become involved with him. You're going away and he just looks so sweet...and so young."