A Not So Typical Love

by Tristen Rowen

  Parking in Boston was always a nightmare. Out front of his old apartment building, he double-parked like so many people did in the city.

  "What if that guy needs to leave?" I said, referring to the car besides his.

  "Just drive around the corner and come back," he said.

  "I don't drive," I said.

  "Oh yeah, we'll have to work on that," he said and got out, leaving me in his idling car. I really hoped he'd be quick.

  After a few minutes, a woman, maybe around the same age as Jamie, ran out of the building, her long brown hair swinging back and forth in a ponytail. She couldn't have been more than five feet tall and a hundred pounds. She wore glasses and an athletic top and shorts. As she charged toward the car, I concluded this woman was probably Gina, the woman I didn't want to see.

  "Are you his new thing?" she said. I didn't know what she meant by that so I didn't know what to say, not like I would have said anything, anyway.

  "Gina!" Jamie exclaimed, running out of the building, a large cardboard box in his arms.

  "You know he's a cheater, right?" she said. "He's nothing but a cheater."

  "Come on, Gina, stop it," Jamie said.

  "He's cute," she said. "And young...younger than the others. Is he even legal?"

  "Stop it, Gina," he said. "He doesn't deserve your jealous wrath."

  "I'm not jealous," she said. "He looks like a good kid. I thought I should warn him about what he's getting himself into." He dropped the box in the back seat. "He's a cheater. Just remember that," she said and walked away, heading down the street. Her walk soon turned into a jog, then a run. Regretting I came, I just wanted to melt into the seat.

  "Sorry about that," he said. "She told me she wasn't going to be here. You alright?" Once again, I didn't know what to say, so I didn't say anything. "I'll be right back. I just have a few more boxes." He loaded the backseat with boxes, so much so he could barely see out the back window. "You alright?" he asked. I just stared back at him. "You won't have to see her again. Let's get something to eat. I'm starving.”

  Fortunately, there was a nearby parking lot near this so-called Shake Shack so we didn't have to worry about double parking. On a Friday afternoon, there was a line out the door. Apparently it was one of the most popular fast food restaurants in this part of the city. Already my heart was thumping faster than normal. I hated that feeling. With Jamie by my side, I decided to stick it out. He'd make sure everything was alright, I told myself.

  The line moved fast, but I wasn't prepared for the noises inside the small restaurant. The noise...this was why I usually stayed home. People's voices and the chatter behind the counter of workers preparing food, calling out orders, patrons ordering and talking amongst themselves. My head was spinning. It all echoed through my head.

  The noise. People. Laughter. Babies crying. All kinds of commotions. I shifted from one foot to the other. It was too much. I couldn't decide on what I wanted. Too many choices.

  "Hey, you alright?" Jamie asked with a hand on my shoulder. Too many...too many choices. I had to block out the noises, so I covered my ears. Sometimes that worked. My headphones were at home.

  "Hey...Hey..." Everything went blurry. I barely knew where I was.

  Where am I? Stop...the noise…

  I had to get out of there, so I did. I bolted the hell out of there.

  Satellite of Love

  Jordan

  As I sat outside on the curb, people passed by me, staring down at me as I held my head. I didn't want to talk to anyone. Praying and hoping I wouldn't totally lose it, I rocked back and forth, keeping my knees to my chest.

  "Hey, Jordan," Jamie said, standing above me. I couldn't look at him. I couldn't look at anybody and I was hungry and wanted fries and a shake, but I couldn't handle going back in there.

  Where's Tim? He'll know what I want...no...no...I need to grow up...I don't want Jamie calling Tim.

  "Jordan..." Jamie said.

  "It's too noisy," I said, still holding my head and looking down at the ground. "I don't know what I want. I can't do it. I can't!" I raised my voice unintentionally. He crouched down beside me and placed a hand on my shoulder. I didn't want anyone touching me.

  "Get away from me," I said.

  "Okay. We'll go home," he said.

  "No!" I shouted. "I want a burger and fries and a shake. I want...I want....I don't want to go home yet."

  "Okay...okay..." he said calmly. "What do you want?"

  "I don't know," I said, staring down at the ground, pulling at my hair.

  "I don't know how to help you. What can I do? Are you hungry?"

  "Yes," I said, annoyed because I was sure he knew I was hungry.

  "We can go somewhere else if you want."

  "Just go," I said. "Go..."

  "You want me to leave you here?"

  "Get food. I'll wait here."

  "Are you sure?"

  "Go." I didn't care what he got me, just that he'd get me something. "I'll have what you have." There, that settled it. I made up my mind.

  A little while later, Jamie returned with burgers, fries, and shakes. Thinking nothing of it, he sat down on the curb beside me.

  "It's salted caramel. It's one of my favorites," he said, handing me a shake.

  I took a big sip. It was really good. I was actually starving, which partly contributed to my freak-out. After drinking half of the shake, I started to feel better. I happily ate a couple of fries. Jamie was right; the fries were really, really good, maybe some of the best I'd ever eaten.

  "Thank you for not calling Tim," I said.

  "Why would I call Tim?" he said. "Everything's under control. It's cool. It was kind of loud in there, anyway."

  While sitting on the curb, we devoured everything. As we headed back to his Jeep, I wondered what he thought about my mini freak-out. It could have been worse. Jamie had this ability to read my mind.

  “Hey..." Jamie said , bringing his arm around my waist. "Hey, it's alright. You're alright." He kissed the side of my face. "Why don't we go back to the house and go skinny dipping?" Nodding, that sounded good to me. I just hoped there was time before Tim got home.

  "Am I your boyfriend?" I asked. He paused before answering.

  "I don't know," he said. "Do you want to be?"

  "Yes," I said. "Promise me you won't cheat on me?"

  "I’m not a cheater,” he said. “You're thinking about Gina, right? And what she said? Gina...well, Gina...she's different. I was in a relationship with her for all the wrong reasons."

  "We have to tell Tim," I said.

  "I know," he sighed. "But maybe you should tell him you're gay first."

  "You're just chicken," I said.

  "Maybe I am," he said. "I guess I need time to prepare myself. You see, I sort of promised him I wouldn't get any ideas about you because...well...he sort of knows me really well and I liked you from the time you spit in my face. He's going to kill me."

  "I'm not a little kid," I said.

  "I know," he said. "But to Tim you are and he just wants to protect you."

  "I don't need protection," I said. "He can't control who I love." Jamie stopped walking and took me in his arms, kissing me right there in the parking lot. He felt what I felt.

  On the way home we listened to a song I had never heard before. "What's this?" I asked, intrigued by the lyrics and unusual tone of the singer's voice.

  "Satellite of Love," Jamie said. "Lou Reed. You know who Lou Reed is, right? Or was...he died a few years ago."

  "I know who Lou Reed is," I said. "I've just never listened to his music."

  "You like it?"

  "Yes."

  I decided I really loved the song. Closing my eyes, I leaned back in the seat, listening to the song, enjoying the lyrics and the break in the melody.

  Jamie reached over and squeezed my hand and I didn't flinch. He held my hand throughout the song. I wished we were in bed together, naked in each other's arms. I wished we could spend the night like that.
What I would do for that…

  By the time we got home, it was after four o'clock. Tim was usually home around five, so Jamie wasn't sure if skinny dipping was a good idea at the moment. I thought it was a perfect idea.

  Since we were crunched for time, we left all the boxes in the car. Jamie was also supposed to be making dinner again. Jamie trailed behind me as I ran around the house to the pool, shedding my clothes along the way. As my body hit the water, I nearly forgot about all the drama from earlier.

  Jamie wasn't as daring and left his khaki shorts on, afraid to get caught by you know who. If he was in his boxers or swim trunks, I was sure I would have tugged them down, but I couldn't with the type of shorts he had on.

  Fortunately, I just about managed to put my clothes back on when Tim showed up on the pool deck.

  "Hey," he said to me. "Come to the house. There's someone I want you to meet."

  "Are you talking to me?" I asked stupidly.

  "Yeah, you," he said. "Come on."

  A woman whom I didn't recognize was sitting at the porch table. She stood up as the three of us approached her. She was average-sized I'd say, maybe a little above average, wearing a pair of light blue capris, pink blouse, and pair of plain brown sandals on her feet. I noticed her toenails weren't painted. She wore glasses, like Tim; her blond hair hair hung just above her shoulders. She wasn't necessarily pretty, but she wasn't ugly either. Who the hell was she?

  "Uh...Jordan, this is Kelly," Tim said.

  "It's nice to finally meet you," she said, extending her hand to mine. I didn't reciprocate, keeping my arms at my side. I didn't know her, so I wasn't about to touch her. I wasn't stupid and realized this was the woman Tim was seeing. He rarely introduced me to any woman. He often led me to believe he never saw anyone as if I were some stupid little kid. Tim gave me a look that said "stop it," but I didn't care. Giving up on me at the moment, he moved on to Jamie.

  "This is my friend, Jamie," he said. "He's staying with us for the summer."

  "Nice to meet you," she said and the two politely shook each other's hands. I didn't like that Tim brought someone home I didn't know. He didn't have the decency to tell me he was bringing someone home beforehand. Desperate to get out of there, I ran off. I didn't even want Jamie following me, but he was so predictable, I knew he would. Not looking back, I went straight to the pond.

  "Leave me alone," I said, sensing his presence as I waded through the pond.

  "Why are you angry?" Jamie asked.

  "I'm not angry," I insisted.

  "Yes you are," he said. "You're annoyed Tim brought a girl home. It must be serious, don't you think?"

  "Shut up," I said.

  "He wouldn't have brought her home and introduced her to you if it wasn't.”

  "Shut up!" I yelled, flinging pond water at him. I didn't want to hear it.

  "You should be happy for him," he said. "Instead you're acting like a spoiled little brat." I splashed him even more. He didn't understand. He thought he knew everything, but he didn't. As he went to open his mouth again, I grabbed hold of his arm and yanked it so hard he tumbled into the pond. I was just as stunned as he was at my little temper tantrum. Quickly getting out of the pond, his shock turned into anger. I had never regretted anything so much in my life.

  "I'm sorry," I said. "Wait, Jamie...I'm sorry." He walked away, not saying anything. I didn't like that. "Jamie, don't be mad. Please..."

  He didn't acknowledge me, even as I got out and ran after him.

  "What happened to you?" Tim asked Jamie as he made his way across the porch, seething with anger. "You didn't push him in the pond, did you?" he asked me. I only shrugged because that woman was still there. Apologizing over and over, I followed Jamie into the house. With me right behind him, he went directly to the shower.

  "Don't be mad at me," I begged him.

  "Shut the door," he said and I did. With his brows furrowed, he faced me. "You know the pond grosses me out."

  "I know,” I said.

  "But you pulled me in, anyway."

  "I know," I said, looking down and away, ashamed of myself. He stepped into me and brought his head to my shoulder. What's he doing? I wondered. Catching me by surprise, he sucked my neck so hard, ending with a little bite.

  "Don't ever do that again," he said in my ear. "Now get out so I can take a shower. I mean it. Get out.” Sadly, I obliged.

  Instead of hanging out with Tim and that woman, I went to the pool and washed the pond water off me. By the time I returned, Jamie was at the grill, cooking chicken kebabs. Me and Jamie's eyes met briefly as I sat down. Tim sat next to that woman, which meant that Jamie had to sit beside me.

  "What happened to your neck?" Tim asked.

  "Jamie bit me," I said matter of factly.

  "You two have been spending way too much time together," Tim said. "Stop biting my brother," he said to Jamie.

  "Then he should stop being a little shit," Jamie said. Moving away from the grill, he reached for the carrots on my plate and flung a few in my face.

  "You guys are so cute," Kelly said.

  "He's not cute," Jamie said. "He's a disgusting little boy." I wanted to jump off my seat and kick his ass and/or bite him and do other things to him that we could only do in the bedroom.

  "What did you guys do today?" Tim asked. "All of a sudden you hate each other."

  "We went to Boston," Jamie said. "I had to get the rest of my stuff at Gina's. We had lunch, came back and went swimming, then a little while ago he had a temper tantrum and pulled me into that disgusting pond."

  "Eww, gross," Tim said. "I tell him not to go in that pond, but he just doesn't listen."

  Jamie smirked at me as he sat down beside me. "I hate mushrooms," I said, removing them from the skewer.

  "Then don't eat them," Jamie said. I kicked him under the table.

  "I hear you're graduating from college two years early," that woman said. No, I wasn't. I just graduated from high school at 16. I chose not to answer her; I didn't know her.

  "He's shy," Tim said. "And modest." Jamie let out a laugh, followed by a cough.

  "What's with you?" Tim said to Jamie.

  "He's not shy," he said. "Just a little shit."

  There were a lot of questions I wanted to ask Tim about this woman, but couldn't with her there. Jamie had no problem asking questions.

  "Have you been going out a long time?" Jamie asked them.

  "Eight months," Kelly said.

  "Eight months is pretty long," Jamie said. I wanted her to go away. This was my house. Tim kept looking at me, then at the woman, then back at me. What did he want from me, anyway?

  "I'm taking Kelly out for ice-cream later," Tim said. "You guys want to come?" That's it, I couldn't take it anymore. I picked up my plate and went inside. I was done with them.

  Love Will Tear Us Apart

  Jordan

  Up even earlier than usual, I wandered around the yard and through the woods, nearly stumbling over the massive poison oak bush that was always out to get me. In addition to the bush, vines of it twirled around this great big pine tree. About eight years ago, after all of Tim's warnings, I wasn't paying attention and tripped, landing right into the bush. As a result of my clumsiness and carelessness, I developed a nasty rash that spread quickly, turning into these disgusting blisters. It was so bad I ended up in the hospital. The school nurse called 911, afraid it was some kind of deadly reaction. Mom was gone and Art was away (as usual), so Tim was the one who got the phone call.

  "Where's his mother?" I clearly remembered one of the nurses ask Tim as he arrived in the emergency room in a frenzied panic.

  "Away," he said dismissively. "I'm his guardian." When Mom went away for the last time, a judge granted Tim temporary guardianship of me (until I was eighteen) because Art was always traveling somewhere or other. It was Art's idea in the first place for Tim to become my guardian. I didn't want to stay in the hospital overnight, but they made me. Tim stayed with me the whole time as if he were
afraid I'd die or something. He didn't have to stay with me overnight, but he did.

  Recalling that night in the hospital, my body itched as if that rash still covered my body. I carefully walked around the bush, making sure my bare feet didn't come in contact with any of it.

  Last night I was up half the night, thinking about Tim and that woman, wondering what it all meant. Was he in love with her? Did he want to marry her? If he married her, then what would happen to me? Would he kick me out? Maybe this was my chance to live on campus or...or...no...my mind was running wild again. Too many thoughts...too many…

  Tim was always there for me; whenever I needed him he was there, the only one I could really ever count on. With this woman, he'd no longer be there. He'd abandon me just like Mom and Art. I knew I needed to grow up. I knew I needed to tell him about Jamie. I knew I needed to tell him the truth. Yeah, I had to grow up. My mind wouldn't stop.

  Last night, after that woman left, Tim came to my room and wanted to "talk," but I wasn't in the mood to "talk." I wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone, not even Jamie. Despite the knocks and text messages, I locked everyone out all night.

  Everyone was annoyed at me: Tim because of everything I did or didn't do last night and Jamie because of the pond incident. I was supposed to visit Mom today, but I wasn't sure I was in the mood for that either. Just the other day Jamie said he'd take me so we could go to the beach again after the visit, but I wasn't sure he'd be willing to take me now.

  I went for a long walk, losing track of time, which I had a tendency to do, especially in the summer. Instead of waking Jamie up like I usually did, I decided to hang out in the meadow, lying flat on my back, staring up into the blue summer sky. I wasn't sure how long I had been lying there before a shadow loomed over me blocking the sun. Despite the presence of another human being, I continued to stare up into the sky.

  "Jordan," the shadow said.

  "Jamie," I said.

  "Are you okay?" he asked, plopping down on the grass beside me.

  "I guess," I said. "Are you?"

  "Yeah, I'm okay," he said. "I'm not angry, if that's what you think."