If He's Daring

by Hannah Howell

  She laughed and pulled him into her arms. “With pleasure.”

  “That was my plan.”

  “And you always have such wonderful plans.”

  Catryn gave herself over to his kisses and caresses, letting the pleasure he brought to her banish the troubling memories of the past. When she was more than ready for Orion to join with her, nearly panting with the need to feel him inside her, he suddenly turned onto his back, still holding her in his arms. Sprawled on top of him, she was just about to ask him what he was doing when, after some fondling and adjusting of her body that nearly caused her to forget her questions, he grabbed her by the hips and plunged inside her.

  Gasping with shock and pleasure, Catryn placed her hands on his chest. “I am on top.”

  “Aye, you most certainly are,” he said, his voice low and rough with passion. “Now you ride me.”

  Realizing how exposed she must be, Catryn glanced down at herself. At some point during their lovemaking Orion had undone her braid and her hair provided enough covering that the brief chill of modesty quickly faded. She clenched her body around him and he growled. She decided she liked this position and not just because he filled her so thoroughly. It gave her a sense of power, even though she knew it for a pleasant delusion, for the power was a shared one, as their passion was.

  “Are you just going to sit there all day?” he asked as he stroked her thighs.

  “Now there is an interesting idea.” She squirmed on top of him, delighting in the way he groaned softly and his eyes closed. “I do think Meg might be reluctant to serve us our meals here though.”

  She was startled when he suddenly sat up, licked the hard tip of each of her breasts, and then looked at her, his eyes darkened with a mixture of passion and amusement. “M’lady, would you be so kind as to begin moving?”

  “Well, when you ask so politely, how can any lady refuse?”

  She began to move and was soon lost to the desire that flared so quick and hot between them, one she was beginning to fear she would only ever be able to share with him.

  Orion tugged on his boots and looked at the privacy screen Catryn had slipped behind in order to wash up and dress. He was in trouble, the sort of trouble he suspected many a man who had contemplated a long, happy life of bachelorhood faced at some time in his life. It embarrassed him a little bit to admit it, but he had been with a goodly number of women, yet none had given him the pleasure Catryn did. None had left him as sated. And not one had been a woman who could make him smile just by being there at his side when he woke up in the morning. She had more than filled his bed, she had conquered it.

  He had gotten Catryn in his bed, but she had wriggled herself into his soul. He had certainly not been searching for any such bond. Orion knew that he had finally found the woman he could not walk away from. Even if he tried, she would forever be in his mind. His body would never stop craving the warmth and welcome of hers.

  A heavy sigh escaped him. He still did not know if what he felt was love, for he had never really believed in the emotion, having seen so little of it as a child. He faintly recalled his father, who was away far more than he was at home, and thought that the man had loved him in his way. There were no bad memories there; he remembered feeling contentment when his father was there to stand between him and his mother and a touch of sorrow over losing him. What he knew was that he wanted to keep hold of the passion he and Catryn shared; he liked her, enjoyed her company, and she accepted all that he was. Those were not things to ignore or toss away just because he would not give up the idea of spending his life free of any woman’s claim; but neither were they sufficient to convince a woman to stay with him.

  “I hope Mervyn and Anna have not left yet,” Catryn said as she stepped out from behind the screen. “I wanted to wish them a safe journey.” She paused before the door and looked at him. “You are truly certain that your cousin will allow her husband to work for him again, no matter how badly wounded he is?”

  “Very certain,” he replied, “and if you had ever met Modred, you would be as well. He takes few people into his home because his gift does not allow it, not if he wishes peace in his own home. Elderwood is his haven from the world, a place where he is not constantly battered by the thoughts and emotions of others. This man was allowed in. He will always be allowed in.”

  She shook her head. “That is so very good of him, but I do feel badly for your cousin. That gift of his sounds much like a curse. And that is what you fear may be in store for Giles, is it not?”

  “Yes, but I believe Giles already has shields, formed as he grew up surrounded by the poorest of the poor and criminals. If his ability to sense how a person feels grows stronger, I will send him to Elderwood to have Aunt Dob train him as she is training Modred. I just hope Giles does not fight me about it.”

  “It is a good plan, and if you need anyone to help you convince Giles, I am more than willing to try. I hope this Aunt Dob is as good as you believe her to be.”

  “Oh, she is. We have all decided that her gift is to teach all the rest of us how to correctly use our gifts and save us from their power,” he said as he escorted her out of the bedchamber and headed toward the parlor.

  “That is, I believe, a very powerful gift indeed.”

  Orion thought of where some of his family would be if not for Dob, and nodded. Ones like Modred would undoubtedly have ended up in a madhouse, the emotions and thoughts in such a place only ensuring that they never shook free of the madness. Others would have become little better than hermits, bruised in spirit and fated to remain alone. She saved them with her gift, her training, and her deep understanding of each and every gift their family had.

  “Yes, it is, and I think we owe her more than we can ever repay.” He noticed the Pryces and Anna Pugh coming out of the parlor. “You are just in time to say farewell.”

  Catryn hurried over to help Mervyn with the children while Anna went to speak to Orion. There was a very close bond between the Wherlockes and the family that served them. She stared at them in fascination and realized she envied them that. Eccles was more family than servant, although the line was clearly drawn. She could see both advantages and disadvantages to having servants who were so close to the ones they served that that line could become blurred, yet it obviously worked for the Wherlockes.

  “Do not try to understand it,” said Mervyn and laughed when Catryn blushed. “I am a Pugh and I can puzzle over it.”

  “I was just, well, rather envying it,” Catryn admitted as she took the hand of the taller of the two boys and followed Mervyn out to where the carriage waited in the morning sun.

  “We certainly see the advantages. I doubt there are many in the serving class in this country who can depend upon their employers as we can. There is a long history between the Pughs and the Wherlockes or the Vaughns. ’Tis the same with the Jones family.”

  “That is what Orion told me and from all he said, it was honed under fire, so to speak.”

  “It was that. We lost some of our own to the ones who came after the Wherlockes and Vaughns. It was a war, and it lasted for what feels like forever. Not sure it is truly over, either.”

  “It may never be fully over, for it is born of fear of what the family can do, perhaps even some resentment concerning the power their gifts give them.”

  “Ah, I ne’er gave that a thought. Jealousy.”

  “The laws have finally changed, however, and with that change a lot of the danger has passed as well. One just needs to learn how to be, well, reticent and not march about boldly showing the world what one can do.”

  “You are one of them, aye?” Mervyn frowned as she studied Catryn and then nodded. “It is in the eyes.”

  Catryn sighed. “A drop or two several generations back. Sir Orion told me that he has a few cousins with eyes similar to mine, ones that cannot decide whether to be blue or green. I only just discovered that truth, too, as it was very well hidden.”

  Mervyn nodded. “As it always was. Ha
d to be. The Pryces have a drop or two, also. My Llwyd says numbers speak to him. ’Tis his wee jest, but he does understand numbers as few others can, and not just the adding of them. If a matter can be reduced to numbers, he can see where to go with them to win, or to lose. ’Tis not a skill I can understand no matter how often he tries to explain. I but pray that whatever hurt he was given in India has not stolen that skill. Llwyd loves his work, purely loves it.”

  Seeing the deep worry on the woman’s face, Catryn gently patted her on the back. “He wrote you a letter, so we know his mind is still sharp.”

  “That is some comfort, but what if he has been maimed in some way?”

  “Then you both learn how to live despite his wounds. Try not to worry yourself ill over it. Did it not occur to you that he may have kept secret exactly what sort of wound he suffered because he wishes to see an honest, unprepared expression when you first see him and how he may have changed? Men have some vanity about how they look, just as women do.”

  “I just want to see him again, to know that he is truly alive and home with us again.”

  “Then think only on that. Trust me when I tell you that men can be as sensitive about scars and faults as any woman. It will be fine as soon as he feels assured that you still love him.”

  “Of course I do. He is a very good man.”

  “He sounds so. You are a very fortunate woman.” Catryn admired the way Orion moved as he escorted Mrs. Pugh out of the inn.

  “Sir Orion is a good man, too.” Mervyn laughed when Catryn blushed and then grimaced. “You should keep him.”

  “Um, it is not like that between us. He is a bit of a rogue . . .”

  “And how could he not be when he looks like that? M’lady, do not look so distressed. You are a widow, not some young girl tossing her good name and future into the wind for the sake of a pretty face. And, as my mother said, you are not one of those loose widows . . .”

  “Am I not?”

  “Nay. You are not some roguish flirt. You follow your heart, I think. And Sir Orion is a very good man despite his great enjoyment of his bachelor life thus far. When he came into the common room I expected him to either join those fools drinking every drop of ale in the place, or ask the lordling and his family to join him in his private parlor. I was that surprised that he not only saw us but then chose to invite us to share that fine room with you. Then my mother said she was certain he was a Wherlocke or a Vaughn and she was arguing about how one of us should go and let him know that we worked for the head of the whole family. Still arguing over that when he walked over to us.”

  Mervyn crossed her arms over her chest and gave Catryn a fierce look. “He is gentry and so are you. Me and my mum are not. Another of your class would have chosen that lordling, thinking nothing of leaving me, my mum, and my babes in that common room, unprotected and surrounded by men who were drinking too hard. I watched Sir Orion make that decision, watched him look at his lordship’s fine family and then look at me and mine. I know why he chose us before he even knew who we were.”

  “Because you were two women and three babes alone and unprotected, surrounded by rowdy men.”

  “Aye, and that is what tells me he is a good man. And that good man is not giving you the rogue’s eye.”

  “The rogue’s eye?”

  “That look that is hot but the fire doesn’t burn long or too deep. Nay, he looks at you like a man who is thinking that there is a woman who would make any man a fine partner. I know you do not see it, but at least consider the matter, since we both know you will go right back to being a proper lady once you are home again.”

  “I will attempt to consider it. And you remember to think only on the fact that Llwyd is alive and home with you.”

  “I plan to.” Mervyn frowned toward where her mother stood and talked to Sir Orion. “I wonder what she is so busy whispering about?”

  Catryn studied Orion and Mrs. Pugh. The woman was intent, obviously considered what she had to say to be of the utmost importance, and not at all intimidated by the fact that Orion was a knight. Despite that wide difference in their stations, Orion gave Mrs. Pugh the courtesy of listening and responding to whatever the woman was saying.

  Mervyn was right. Orion was a good man. A man a woman should fight to keep. It was a lovely thought, but Catryn was certain that, if she tried too hard to hold on to Orion, he would slip through her fingers like smoke.

  “His fingers?”

  Orion was not surprised to discover that Mrs. Anna Pugh knew more about the health and fate of her daughter’s husband than her daughter did, including the nature of the man’s wounds. All Mervyn’s thoughts had been on her husband, his health, and the fact that he was free again. Anna Pugh had needed to know more and had done an excellent job of investigating.

  “Two. Cut them off down to the knuckle and he badly hurt his knee in the same incident, so that could leave him with the hint of a limp. And I think he is a wee bit bruised in mind and heart. Bringing home some dark with him.”

  “That is not surprising, Mrs. Pugh,” Orion said. “You told us he grew up at Elderwood, only left it to go to the Cambridge and he loves to work with numbers. Not a man to be hardened to the ugliness of the world, yet he was suddenly dragged unwillingly into the military and sent to a foreign land. But, Mrs. Pugh, he is coming home now, a bit bruised and weary, but still having most of his parts, plus a wife and three children who are anxious to see him again. I suspect he has a goodly number of other Pryces waiting as well.”

  “But his fingers and his knee . . .”

  He still has eight fingers and two legs.” He was startled when she abruptly hugged him. “Just the truth, Mrs. Pugh.”

  “I know, but I needed it said, for I was not seeing what he still had, only what he had lost.” She looked to where Mervyn and Catryn kept the children entertained. “She is a very good woman, Sir Orion.”

  He knew she was not referring to her daughter. “I know that, Mrs. Pugh. I know that very well indeed.”

  “Good. You do have some good sense despite being a man. Try to use a bit of it to see what is best for you.”

  Orion was torn between laughter and a sense of insult as he watched Mrs. Pugh say farewell to Catryn. The woman then bustled her family into the carriage as if it was their fault that she was still standing in the innyard. Catryn waved farewell as the carriage pulled away and Orion caught her hand in his when she returned to his side.

  He glanced down at Catryn as he walked her back inside the inn, where he hoped a meal would be waiting for them. The outrageous Mrs. Pugh was right. Catryn was a very good woman and she would be an excellent choice for a wife for any man. Orion was just not sure he was that man, for he knew nothing about marriage save what a disaster it could be.

  It was a relief to find the parlor empty again and the food set out for them. As they had walked he had tried to think through all the marriages in his family, close and not so close, and it was a dismal tally. It was not just his parents who had shown him what miserable chances there were for marital harmony for Wherlockes and Vaughns. His entire clan was riddled with miserable marriages, the good ones so rare as to appear nearly miraculous. Orion did not dare see the recent spurt of happy unions among his family as a sign of great change, of a better future. Therefore it was wrong to think of dragging any woman into such an ill-fated union.

  Once they were seated and helping themselves to the food, he turned his thought to the matter of Morris and relaxed. “Today we will try to make up for the day we lost to the rain,” Orion said.

  Catryn watched him as he slathered butter on a piece of toasted bread, and then sighed. The very last thing she wished was for this adventure with him to end, for she strongly suspected that their affair would end as well. Yet it did not seem right to keep him working so hard to help her. Morris no longer held her son and Orion had to have a lot of personal and government business he was neglecting.

  “Perhaps we should just stop,” she said. “Alwyn is safe and I
could just take him home, stay with my father, even hire some very large guards.”

  “You would remain uncertain of if or when Morris might try again. Is that truly how you wish to live your life?” He saw uncertainty cloud her eyes. “Is that how you wish Alwyn to live?”

  The mere thought of having to weigh her every move, to keep Alwyn constantly under guard, chilled Catryn to the bone and she shook her head. “No, I do not, yet I cannot feel it right to hold you to this hunt, which begins to look as if it is unending.”

  “My time is my own.”

  “But . . .”

  “Cat, I cannot, in good conscience, walk away when I know that stopping now would leave a woman and a child in danger. The fact that the woman is you and the child is Alwyn makes it far more than a matter of conscience anyway. This is now personal. We will continue until I am satisfied that Morris is no longer a threat.”

  She desperately wanted to ask why the fact that it was her made it personal, more important to him. Then she recalled the advice she had gotten from other women on how one should conduct oneself while having an affair. Unasked-for though that advice had been, that did not dim the truth or usefulness of it. Do not push for love or promises, she had been told very firmly. Pressing Orion to explain why he considered her problem personal could be seen as pushing.

  “I am still not sure how we end the threat without killing the fool,” she said, “and I do not want you to get blood on your hands because of me.”

  Orion smiled and she could see the sadness behind it. “There is blood there already, Cat. Do not forget who I have worked for. I will add more blood gladly, without hesitation, if it will gain you and Alwyn a safe, peaceful future. But I have hope that I will be able to scare the idiot into leaving you alone.”

  “How can you do that? You have implied that before, yet I simply cannot think of how it can be done.” She sipped her tea and added, “And Morris might not have the good sense or intelligence to stay scared.”