“Like I said, you’re not how I imagined.”
“Doctors are real people too,” she said. “If we seem a little crabby at times, it’s just because we had to spend so much time in school.”
He looked around the room, then his gaze settled on his daughter, now dozing in Kelly’s arms. “I never thought I would see anything like this. You sitting there, holding my daughter. Of course I never thought I’d have a child.”
“How do you like it?”
“She’s the best thing that ever happened to me.”
Kelly’s smile turned tender. “I’m glad. I’m glad you kept her and I’m glad you two are so happy together.”
“Me, too.”
He was also glad that Kelly was in his life, but he didn’t tell her that. This wasn’t the time. Then he wondered if that would ever change. Kelly wasn’t for him—even if he was the kind of man who did long-term commitments. Which he didn’t. So they would just stay friends and he would make sure that was enough.
Tanner clutched the handle of the baby carrier so hard, he was afraid he might crack the plastic. This was fine, he told himself. There was nothing to worry about. Except he was worried.
He stared around the brightly colored waiting area of the medical office. A parade of animals danced across the walls. There were child-sized chairs, as well as those designed for adults, and a collection of toys in the corner. Nothing to fear. So why was there a knot the size of a basketball sitting in the bottom of his stomach?
The office door opened and Kelly walked in. She wore tailored dark slacks and a fitted soft-looking sweater that hugged her curves. The swell of her breasts was nearly enough to take his mind off his panic. Nearly…but not completely.
“Sorry I’m late,” she said. “I was running behind with my patients and…” She took one look at him and laughed. “Relax, Tanner. Lia’s the one getting the examination, not you.”
“I wish it was me,” he said glumly. “What if there’s something wrong? What if she’s sick? What if—”
“Stop!” Kelly said. She took the baby carrier from him and glanced down. As usual, Lia was sound asleep, apparently unaware of her father’s concern. Kelly took a seat and patted the cushion next to her.
“You could take a lesson from your daughter,” she said. “Now sit down and take a deep breath.”
He glared at her, then perched on the edge of the sofa. “You’re not taking this seriously.”
“Of course I am. Lia is here to see her doctor. She’s one month old and it’s time for her first well-baby visit. There is every indication that she’s a normal, healthy, thriving infant. If there is a problem, better to catch it early. Ronni’s a great doctor. You know that.”
“I know.” He shifted on the sofa. “Sorry. I know I’m acting crazy.”
“You’re acting like a worried parent, but in this case, there’s no reason to be.”
“You’re right.” He studied her. “Thanks for being here with me. I hadn’t really intended for you to take time off work to hold my hand.”
She smiled. “Oh, please. That was exactly your intention. No way you would have survived this on your own.”
The office door opened again and a mother with a young boy walked in. While the woman went to the glass partition at the reception desk to sign them in, the boy walked over and stared at Lia.
“What’s her name?” he asked.
“Lia,” Tanner told him.
“I’m John.” He held out his hand. There were several tiny stitches along the side of his index finger and across his palm. “Billy and me were playing with a broken bottle and we got cut. I’m better now, but playing with a broken bottle is bad.”
Kelly smiled at the boy. He couldn’t be more than five or six. She scooted forward and stared at the stitches, then pointed to a thin, pale line on her own hand.
“That exact thing happened to me,” she said. “I was about your age.”
John’s brown eyes widened. “Did you have to get stitches, too?”
“I sure did. I cried and cried. I was very sorry I’d ever picked up that piece of glass and I never did it again.”
“I didn’t cry,” John said. Then he glanced at his mom and shrugged. “Well, I did a little.”
Tanner found himself caught up in the conversation. Kelly was so easy and natural with the little boy. It was as if she’d known him for years, instead of just a few minutes. When John’s mother came over to collect him, she smiled an apology.
“Sorry. He’s a talker.”
“He’s very sweet,” Kelly told the woman.
It made no sense, Tanner thought. Why on earth hadn’t some guy snatched Kelly up before now? She was a prize. Not only was she bright and successful, but she had the most giving heart he’d ever seen.
She was different from the kind of woman he usually found himself attracted to. He would bet a month’s paycheck that she didn’t go for trashy lingerie, nor did she wear much makeup. But he was starting to see the appeal of the natural look, not to mention the fact that thoughts of Kelly in plain cotton had kept him up more than one night.
“What a cutie,” Kelly said when John’s mother had led him to the other side of the waiting room where they’d started on a puzzle.
“You’re great with kids. Why didn’t you become a pediatrician?”
She didn’t say anything, nor did her body language change, but Tanner could tell she’d shut him out as surely as if she’d started building a brick wall between them.
“What?” he asked. “What’s wrong? What did I say?”
“Nothing.”
“Kelly, don’t. Why are you upset?”
“I’m not.”
But her gaze avoided his. Then, before he could pursue the matter, a nurse opened the door leading to the examining rooms. “Lia Malone?”
“That’s us,” Tanner said. He took the carrier from Kelly and stood up.
“It’s just through here,” the nurse said. She led them into another brightly colored room, this one with a small examining table and too much medical equipment for Tanner to ever be comfortable. The knot in his stomach doubled in size.
“Hi,” Ronni said as she entered. She wore a white coat over scrubs. “Don’t say it. I’m a mess. My first appointment of the day threw up on me, and I haven’t had time to go home and get a change of clothes. I normally keep a spare set here, but they got thrown up on last week and I haven’t brought them back. How’s Lia?”
“Great,” Tanner said. “I’m sure there’s nothing wrong.”
“I’m sure, too,” Ronni said, her voice reassuring. “I know the first couple of baby visits are nerve-racking on you new parents, but it will get better.”
Kelly leaned against the closed door. “Speaking of nerves, how are you holding up?”
Ronni wrinkled her nose. “You mean given the fact that Ryan and I are leaving tomorrow to get married?” She held up her hand to show it was steady. “I’m nervous, but only on the inside. I can’t believe we’re doing this. I’m incredibly happy and scared. But more happy than scared. I know it’s the right thing. I love him and we’re going to have a great life together.”
“That’s what you have to focus on,” Kelly said. “Remember that he’s the man you love and you’ll be fine.”
“Exactly,” Ronni said. “Besides, all I have to say is ‘I do,’ right? How hard can that be?”
The two women laughed, but Tanner didn’t join in. He was too busy thinking, once again, that his brother had gotten lucky with the woman he’d chosen. Ronni and Ryan were going to have a great life together. Ryan made it look so easy, first with Patricia and now with Ronni. How did he do that? How did he know when it was right? How did he know that it was all okay to commit himself to a particular woman?
Not that it mattered, Tanner told himself. He wasn’t the marrying kind. And even if he was, there weren’t any likely candidates around.
His gaze settled on Kelly. He already knew that she was a prize. He also knew th
at she was out of his league. So there was no point in wishing for what he couldn’t have.
Words to live by, he told himself. Words he’d repeated more than once. Words that suddenly didn’t seem to ring so true.
Chapter Ten
“I can’t believe I’m so nervous,” Ronni said as she refolded a cream lace and silk nightgown for the third time. “I guess it’s because, well, you know.”
Kelly and Alex exchanged a look. “I could be wrong,” Alex said, her voice teasing, “but it might be because you’re getting married. What do you think, Kelly?”
“Sounds like a good reason to me,” Kelly told her. “Did you get any sleep at all?”
Ronni sank onto the bed and covered her face with her hands. “No. I was determined to spend last night here.” She motioned to the beautifully decorated bedroom of her newly remodeled condo. “I wanted to preserve some traditions, like not seeing the groom too much before the wedding. But I’m so used to staying at the gatehouse at Ryan’s that my bed felt unfamiliar. Plus I missed him.”
She dropped her hands to her lap. “I guess some of it is because I’ve never gotten married before. What if I don’t like it?”
Kelly rolled her eyes. “You’re crazy about the guy and even more crazy about his kids. What’s not to like?”
“You’re right. I can’t imagine not being with him. Ryan is the man I’ve been waiting for all my life.”
“Are you sorry you’re not having a big wedding?” Alex asked. She dropped Ronni’s makeup bag into the open suitcase on the bed, then settled next to it.
“Absolutely not.” Ronni shuddered. “Neither of us wanted the hassle. He’s still dealing with the hospital wing, I have my practice. When would we find the time?” She pressed her hand to her stomach. “Not to mention the fact that I’m pregnant.”
Kelly leaned back in the chair by the window. “As your doctor, I’m not even sure what to say about that. I carefully hand out condoms at every visit, but did that help? Noooo. I can see I’m going to have to be more detailed with my explanations and inform my patients that it’s not enough to have them in the house. Instead, they actually have to be used.”
“I know.” Ronni hung her head for a second, then glanced up, grinning. “But I can’t be sorry. I’m thrilled about the baby.”
Kelly turned her attention to Alex. “What about you? Do we have to have this talk?”
Alex raised her hands in a gesture of surrender. “I’m not having sex, so it’s not an issue.”
“Just remember if you do, safety is important.”
“Yes, Mom.”
The three women laughed.
Ronni stood up. “I need to finish packing, then check my makeup. Other than that, I think I’m ready.” She’d already pinned her bright red hair up into a French twist. Subtle make-up accentuated her green eyes.
“Are you wearing your wedding suit on the plane?” Alex asked.
“No. I’ll change there.” Ronni walked to the closet and removed a white suit protected by clear plastic. She held it in front of her. “What do you think?”
“It’s wonderful,” Kelly said as she took in the sophisticated suit with a short skirt and fitted jacket. As much as she teased her friend about being pregnant, the reality was Ronni was only two-and-a-half months along and barely showed. The tailored suit, simple but elegant, would show off her figure perfectly. “Is that as low cut as it looks?”
Faint color stained Ronni cheeks. “Yeah. I thought I’d distract Ryan during the ceremony. You know, in case he’s a little nervous.”
“A woman with a plan,” Alex said. “Very clever.”
Ronni carefully placed the suit into her luggage. “I think that’s the last of it.” She glanced around the room. “Okay, so all that’s left is the kids. Are you going to be all right with them, Kelly?”
Kelly grinned. “I swear we’ll be fine.” She began ticking off points on her fingers. “Drew and Lisbeth are still in school. The baby-sitter will pick them up when they get out, then swing by and get Griffin from day care. She’ll stay with them until I get there. My last appointment is at four.” Kelly paused to glance at her watch. It was about twelve thirty now. She and Alex had both used their lunch breaks to stop by and wish Ronni luck.
“The sitter can stay late tonight if you get hung up with an emergency,” Ronni told her.
“I don’t think that’s going to happen. This isn’t my weekend on call.” Kelly smiled. “One of the reasons I wanted to go into a larger practice was to have the occasional weekend off. So once I leave the office, I’ll be with the children until you and Ryan return, all married and happy.”
“I appreciate you helping out like this,” Ronni said. “I don’t know what Ryan and I would have done without you. Tanner thinks he could handle Lia and Ryan’s three, but we all know that’s wishful thinking on his part.”
Kelly waved aside her thanks. “I’m happy to do it.” If anything, the weekend was going to be a lot of fun. She enjoyed being around children, and Tanner had promised to stay at the house, as well. She didn’t want to admit to anyone, least of all herself, how her heart beat faster when he was around.
Ronni glanced at her suitcase. “I think that’s everything. I just want to—”
A loud honk interrupted her. She froze. “Oh, no. It’s the cab. I have to go. I’m not ready.”
Alex stood up and patted her shoulder. “Don’t panic. You’re completely prepared. You have your wedding dress, your shoes and your makeup. Oh, and this.” She fingered the lacy strap of Ronni’s nightgown. “Nothing else matters.”
“I know, but I think I want to scream anyway.”
Kelly picked up her purse and Ronni’s overnight bag while Alex closed the larger suitcase. Ronni did a quick once-over of the room, then the three of them headed for the front door.
On the small porch, they hugged. “Have a wonderful wedding,” Kelly said. “I have the phone numbers if anything happens, but remember that no news is good news. Just enjoy yourselves.”
“Ditto what she said,” Alex told Ronni. “Take deep breaths. You’re going to be very happy with Ryan. Enjoy your time together.”
“I will.” Ronni waited while the cab driver loaded her luggage into the trunk, then she slid into the back seat.
Alex and Kelly stood watching her until the cab rounded a corner and Ronni was lost from sight.
Kelly sighed. “She’s going to be a beautiful bride. I hope they remember to take pictures.”
“Me, too. Speaking of beautiful, Wendy’s baby is a charmer.” Alex said, referring to her houseguest’s new infant. “I thought I was happy with one child, but I have to tell you that having a newborn in the house is giving me second thoughts.”
The two women started toward their cars parked at the curb.
“What about you,” Alex asked. “Any second thoughts?”
“I’m not sure what you mean.”
Alex paused by her car. “Something’s different, Kelly, and I’m not sure what. Is it being around Tanner’s daughter? I know you’re spending a lot time at his house. Are you having thoughts about children of your own?”
Kelly drew in a deep breath. “My thoughts aren’t that organized. I’m just…I don’t know. Restless maybe.” She pulled on her purse strap, securing it on her shoulder. “Are you happy?” she asked. “With your life, I mean.”
“Yes,” Alex answered slowly. “I have a great life. I love my work. It’s fulfilling in more ways than I’d thought possible. I have Tyler, who is the joy of my world.” She smiled. “To be honest, I have too many houseguests to ever worry about being lonely.”
“Is that enough?”
Alex looked surprised. “Isn’t it?”
“I don’t know. I’m just rambling,” Kelly admitted. “But I can’t help thinking about the fact that you spend all your free time with your four-year-old son and whomever is currently living in your guestroom. Right now it’s Wendy and her newborn. We’re talking about a teenage girl. I was
just wondering if you kept your life so full because then there isn’t room for a man.”
Alex pressed her lips together. “Ouch. You don’t believe in subtle, do you?”
“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be critical. I’m wondering aloud because I’m thinking these same thoughts about myself.”
“I know what you’re saying,” Alex told her, “but I’ve done the man in my life bit, and it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. I like being on my own.”
“I do, too,” Kelly said, but she couldn’t help thinking that at times her life was a cold and empty place. Sometimes she wanted someone else to share things with. Someone she could depend on. Someone she could love who would love her back.
“Not to change the subject, but I have to get back to work,” Alex said, glancing at her watch. “Are we still on for Sunday?”
“Absolutely. Griffin would kill me if we didn’t meet you there.” Griffin, Ryan’s youngest, was best friends with Alex’s son, Tyler. She and Alex had made arrangements to meet at a local pizza place for an afternoon of junk food and video games.
“I’ve got to run, too,” Kelly said. “See you on Sunday. About two, okay?”
“Perfect.” Alex called out a quick good-bye, then got into her car.
Kelly followed more slowly. As she pulled out onto the street, she couldn’t help thinking about what Alex had said about men. That they didn’t live up to their hype. Kelly couldn’t offer an opinion on the subject because she didn’t have enough experience. Since high school, she’d gone out of her way to shut men out of her life. During college and medical school, she’d had lots of male friends, but no emotionally significant relationships. The question was why?
No one had really hurt her, not unless she counted her father’s disappointment. Her high school boyfriend had dumped her when he’d found out she was pregnant, but while she’d been disappointed, she hadn’t been devastated. She liked men. She thought many were attractive. There were times when she thought about making love with a certain man and she found herself feeling desire. So why turn her back on that part of her life?
Their Little Princess Page 12
