by Carrie Stone
‘It’s a good thing, if you ask me. You two have a lot of unfinished business – including your house to sort. It’s time to face up to it, Kate – you can’t keep running away from things. It always gets worse before it gets better. Him running off to Scotland and you fixating on Marcus didn’t solve anything, did it?’
Kate nodded. She knew Vivian was right, but she’d been trying to convince herself otherwise for the last few days – ever since Megan had told her about Alf’s phone call and his intentions of returning. Yesterday had been the tipping point, with Megan’s confirmation that Alf’s resignation letter had been received. The news had made her feel nauseous.
She knew that it was only a matter of time before he’d call her direct, wanting to discuss their finances and the house… After all, he had to call, didn’t he? Or would he just turn up on the doorstep and let himself in? The thought made her shiver. She didn’t know if it was with excited delight or pure terror.
‘And don’t go worrying about Marcus telling him anything. My sixth sense tells me that the whole episode will never get mentioned. You needn’t worry in the slightest.’
‘I know that,’ Kate answered matter-of-factly. And she did, because although Marcus had become a good and trustworthy friend to her, she knew he wouldn’t want to upset Alf. ‘I’m certain that he won’t breathe a word of it. That’s something I’m thankful for, at least. Mind you, I got the impression his friendship has waned with Alf in Scotland. He didn’t mention speaking to him regularly.’ She paused, thinking. ‘But then again, perhaps that was just because he didn’t want to upset me by raising the subject.’
‘Well, on that note, are you going to reply to Marcus, then? Tell him that you’ll be happy to take the new date for the exhibition?’ Viv challenged, her steely gaze on Kate.
Kate smirked, knowing that Vivian had achieved exactly what she’d set out to. ‘You drive a hard bargain. I guess I’ll have to reply, won’t I? Otherwise I’ll never hear the end of it from you.’ She picked up her mobile and began to quickly type out a response before she had a chance to lose her nerve.
Smiling, Vivian took her place again in her favourite chair and readjusted her blanket, pleased with herself. She knew that her days were numbered, what with the strange and increasingly frequent pains she was having in her chest. Her intuition told her that all was not well on a health level, but she daren’t seek medical advice. She’d never been one for doctors or hospitals, after all – what good did it do to be palmed off with a prescription for various pills? She’d seen the way many others her age had gone to hospital with a sniffle and come out in a coffin. No, she didn’t trust the men in white coats.
She would rather spend her final days helping to get Kate on the right track. That much she’d promised herself.
‘It’s too soon.’ Without looking up from the sports section of the tabloid he was reading, Jonnie reached for another handful of salted nuts, unaware of the frustration he was causing his sister.
‘But you said you liked him!’ Megan repeated, unsure if Jonnie had heard the first time. ‘So have you changed your mind or something?’ She paused, waiting for him to look up. He didn’t.
‘Regardless, still too soon.’ He spoke with his mouth full, small pieces of nuts and spittle spraying the page in front of him. Wiping them away with a brush of his hand, he finally turned to his sister. ‘Meg, you don’t even know the bloke and neither do I. Yes, he seems nice and I do like him, but what if he turns out to be some psycho control freak? Why the rush?’
With a sigh, Megan sat down at the dining table, pushing aside the newspaper and the bag of peanuts. ‘We’ve gone over this already. It’s not like I’m marrying him tomorrow – we’re going to wait a while. You know that. I can’t help feeling like I’m tip-toeing around you at the moment. You’re obviously not happy about it, so what’s the real reason, Jonnie?’ She grabbed his wrist, stopping him as he reached out for the nuts and forcing him to make eye contact. ‘Why are you being strange about it all? I thought you’d be happy for me?’
He sighed, gently shaking his wrist free of her grip and meeting her eyes. ‘I just don’t want you to get hurt, sis. I don’t know why, but I’ve got a bad feeling about the whole thing.’ He rubbed his face with his hand, disliking himself for causing the hurt that was evident in his sister’s expression. ‘I hope I’m wrong because I want to see you happy, but I don’t know. I think you’ve not given it enough time.’
‘Is it jealousy? Is that it?’ Megan asked angrily, eyes blazing now. Why did Jonnie always have to throw a spanner in the works with everything? Couldn’t he just accept that she’d found someone who she wanted to be with?
Jonnie looked at her in surprise. ‘Jealousy? Of course not. What have I got to be jealous about?’ He stood up and snatched his newspaper and nuts from the table. ‘No man will ever come between us, sis, I’ll make sure of that.’ He patted her head, ignoring her irritated swipe of his hand. ‘But please! Just take a bit of notice for once. Be sure not to rush into things. I’ve just got this feeling Michael’s not the right one for you.’
Megan watched him walk away and out into the garden, Jonnie’s way of signalling that the conversation was over – at least from his point of view. She felt weary and surprisingly bleak. Michael hadn’t shown her anything but affection and adoration. He was kind, caring and generous in every way. She couldn’t understand how Jonnie could even begin to think that Michael wasn’t right for her. She’d met enough men throughout her twenties and early thirties to know the good from the bad.
It was jealousy, pure and simple. He couldn’t accept her being taken away from him – he’d as much as admitted that he’d felt abandoned on many an occasion when drunk and she hadn’t pandered to him. It was a mixture of jealousy and fear. As much as she wanted to reassure him that he was wrong and her flourishing relationship with Michael would prove it, she decided it best to let time do that instead.
She heard a faint beep amidst the voices of the cookery programme blasting from the television at the other end of the room. Her mobile. Undoubtedly Michael. Glancing at the clock she realised it was almost eleven; she’d told him she’d be over at his by quarter to in time for brunch.
‘Great, now I’m going to be late,’ she muttered to herself, fetching her bag from the armchair and retrieving her mobile from its side pocket. Hastily flipping open the leather case, she looked at the screen.
Her stomach fluttered involuntarily and she felt her cheeks flushing, her heart skipping a beat at his name.
Clicking open the message she read it, her bleak mood forgotten as a smile began to slowly spread across her face. Marcus wanted to meet her.
Chapter 20
‘Out you go.’ Shooing Sam out of the back door and into the late-summer air, Kate inhaled the sweet mix of blooming honeysuckle and jasmine that was creeping up the length of the side gate and fence. Trying not to glance at the overgrown jungle that her garden had turned into, she quickly closed the door, leaving the dog to explore.
Making herself a cup of milky coffee, she sat at the kitchen table and sipped it slowly, thinking over the previous evening.
She should really have expected him to call; after all, texting Marcus had given the opening he’d been waiting for. But answering the phone to him hadn’t been easy and neither had it been particularly pleasant at the beginning. She’d felt defensive, vulnerable even, and yet, within a few minutes it had seemed as if the whole kissing episode had never even taken place. Their friendship had picked up where it had left off; he’d even had her laughing at a disastrous evening in a new nightclub he’d visited. They’d spoken for twenty minutes in the end. And only after they’d exhausted all of their news did Marcus raise the subject of Alf and his return to the South.
He said he’d suspected for quite some time that Alf hadn’t been happy in Scotland. ‘Compromised’ as he’d put it. But he hadn’t wanted to raise it with Kate before now because he’d not wanted to complicate matters. She’d learn
ed that not only had Alf not taken to the job role as easily as he’d assumed he would, but that he’d also not taken to the bachelor lifestyle. It had felt strangely pleasing and exhilarating to hear it. She wondered if it had given Alf food for thought. As far as Marcus was aware, Alf was still hung up on her, although he hadn’t used quite those words – more of an insinuation that this was the case.
The statement had marked a huge shift in her. It was as if she’d finally found the light after months of darkness and confusion. Alf wanted her. And she still wanted Alf. Vivian had been right, there was far too much unfinished business between them. She’d been kidding herself to think otherwise, but then again, she knew that was because she’d tried to hide from her real emotions and feelings. Marcus had aided her in doing that – unwittingly of course – but he’d been the perfect distraction and medicinal dose. He’d shown her an alternative possibility that she’d thought was what she’d wanted and been missing out on.
The past week’s reflection as well as their phone conversation had marked the turning of a corner in that respect, too. Although she still considered Marcus a lovely, light and fun person, it was obvious to her now that she’d never fit with somebody like him. She’d blindly overlooked his love of going out, partying, of wanting constant excitement and fun in his life. She’d thought that was what she’d been missing out on with Alf, but the realisation was that she didn’t want those things after all. She was no longer the young Kate that she’d thought she’d lost out to. Yes, the occasional night out was enjoyable and she’d been making more of an effort to make plans, but ultimately she was happiest spending time indoors.
Then there was the home environment that she’d so desperately wanted to change. She’d been thinking over Marcus’s aspirations to decorate his snazzy apartment on North Street with the latest mod cons, his insistence that things be minimalistic and streamlined. But she didn’t care about those things either; all she wanted was a homely home, one where cushions got scattered and the air was filled with a family vibe. One that she could share with a partner and know they could welcome their children into.
She realised suddenly that she’d finally found the balance. The balance between her young carefree self and the thirty-something with low self-esteem that she’d morphed into.
The whole experience had been a wake-up call; one that had shown her what was important to her. The results were surprising and yet also hugely relieving. She realised it was her confidence and inner happiness that she’d lost touch with. She’d pinned all of her hopes of happiness on a future with Alf; all of her thoughts concentrated on babies and marriage. She’d thought that these were the only things that could make her life right again and give her the inner contentment that she was lacking. But marriage and children would come at the right time, when she wasn’t trying to control everything.
The past months had taught her that she didn’t need a man or anything else to begin to feel good about herself; that she was perfectly capable of functioning on her own and feeling happy from within by being true to herself. Even the small things like changing her image and losing weight had boosted her confidence in unimaginable ways.
The fear of abandonment that she’d had for so long had begun to lose its power over her. She’d finally accepted that the miscarriage was something that had happened for a reason and she felt more peaceful with that knowledge. She knew now that she had the inner strength to cope with anything; she was finally back in tune with herself.
She partly had Marcus to thank for the changes. He was the one who had made her aware of the things she appreciated the most, including her art work. She now understood that his place in her life as a friend was the correct one and it was exactly how she wanted it. Nothing more, nothing less.
All she needed to do now was work out her next steps with Alf.
She was ready to acknowledge that she wasn’t quite ready to let what they had slip away entirely. He still held a place in her heart.
Alf surveyed the pitiful collection of boxes that signified the end of his new life in Scotland. If truth be told, he was relieved about the chain of events that had resulted in his demise at Hamilton’s – something that he’d have never thought he’d feel.
He hadn’t had to wait long for his resignation to become effective – in fact it was pretty much as he’d suspected. Henry Cavendish was conveniently in Scotland within an hour of his submitted formal resignation and introducing himself as the temporary MD. It didn’t bother Alf as much as he’d thought it would; perhaps part of it was the substantial amount of money he was walking away from the arrangement with – the payoff that would enable him to, hopefully, rectify things with Kate and do some of the things she’d wanted to do together.
Alf’s heartbeat picked up its pace as he thought about her and how best to contact her. She’d know all about it by now – of that much he was sure. Motormouth Megan would have made certain of that. Part of him had hoped that she’d call, although he knew it was a fruitless hope – after all, she’d made it clear that she didn’t want him or their life together – so why would she be concerned with calling him? But he knew Kate, he knew how kind and compassionate she was. He was in no doubt that she’d be worried for him. He knew that when he did make contact, she would at least hear him out. It was his one chance at righting so many wrongs…
Picking up his keys from the kitchen worktop, he glanced one final time around the penthouse that had been his home for the past months. He felt nothing but elated happiness to be saying goodbye. Closing the door without a second thought, he picked up the boxes that were closest to hand and headed for the car.
One thing was for sure, Scotland had put everything into perspective for him. Life wasn’t about work or power or penthouses – it was about love, support and togetherness. He could have kicked himself for not appreciating what he originally had a lot sooner. Still, better to find out late than never.
He had one last shot with Kate and he was going to make it worth her while.
Megan spotted him even from a distance. He was sitting at the dark wooden bench nearest to the pub entrance, nursing a beer with a pensive expression. His almost black wavy hair gleamed in the sun, and she felt her palms getting sweaty. There was something about him that did this to her every time.
Without warning, and as if sensing that she was near, he suddenly looked up and gazed in her direction, his face breaking into a grin, flashing perfectly straight white teeth as he noticed her approaching. She couldn’t help but smile back; her jaw was acting of its own accord, as was her heart – racing wildly in her chest. She picked up her pace, Michael’s disappointment that she’d changed their plans forgotten as she drank in Marcus’s appearance.
‘Hi, you look great.’ He stood up kissing her on each cheek, noticing the slight curve of her waist and her slim wrists as he did so. She tossed her loosely curled hair self-consciously; a waft of vanilla hair product floated towards him, making him feel weakened. ‘Thanks for agreeing to meet me. I hope I didn’t drag you away from anything.’
She sat down opposite him, trying to avoid staring at the hint of tanned chest visible through his unbuttoned granddad top. ‘It’s no problem. I wasn’t busy so…’ she tailed off, feeling a combination of unease and guilt. Why had she lied to Michael? Surely there would have been no harm in telling him the truth about her meeting Marcus. When all was said and done, it wasn’t as if she had anything to hide. Or did she?
He continued to stare at her, an awkward silence ensuing. The chemistry between them was palpable. She wanted nothing more than to reach out and pull him towards her, run her hand beneath his shirt and over his toned chest. She looked away, shame-faced at feeling such desire for him. ‘So, you wanted to discuss Kate and Alf?’ Forcing her eyes to meet his, she reminded herself of why she was there.
He had a hint of a wry smile on his lips, as if able to read her thoughts. His eyes twinkled in amusement and she felt her resolve weakening again. ‘Yes, I spoke to Alf earlier t
his morning. He’s heading back today.’ He glanced at his watch, Megan following his gaze and resting her eyes on his masculine but slender hands. ‘Well, actually, he’ll already be on the road right about now.’
She was pulled back to the moment, her surprise obvious. ‘Oh, I didn’t expect him to leave so soon.’ Her brow furrowed. ‘He resigned on Friday, but the company gave him the option to stay on in the accommodation for a fortnight. I just assumed he’d stay and make the most of it.’
Marcus nodded, shrugging his shoulders. ‘Yeah, I know, he mentioned it to me and I couldn’t understand his haste to get back either. But he was insistent. He said he has things to sort out with Kate and the sooner the better.’
This was news to Megan. Her eyes widened in surprise. ‘So he means it, then? About missing her.’ She watched as Marcus took a sip of his beer. ‘He did mention something the last time I spoke to him, but I have to say I wasn’t very forgiving and cut him off.’ She picked at a beer mat in front of her, thinking of Kate.
‘Oh, yes, he means it. He’s determined to get her back, from the things he was saying to me.’ He looked at her, waiting for her response.
‘Wow. I guess I wasn’t expecting that. He’s usually crap at recognising a good thing, let alone making amends.’ She smiled at Marcus apologetically, suddenly remembering he was Alf’s friend. ‘Sorry. I’m sure you’re aware there’s no love lost between me and Alf, but I’ll hand it to him. I’m impressed.’
Laughing, Marcus reached up and ran his hand through his hair. He liked her feistiness; in fact, he realised there were many things he liked about her. Really liked.
The harassed-looking waiter finally approached their table, interrupting them for Megan’s order. ‘I’ll have a white wine, please,’ she requested, feeling Marcus’s eyes on her as she ordered. ‘So, where were we?’ she asked as the waiter retreated. ‘Oh, yes, Alf… hang on a minute – where’s he staying then if he’s back tonight – surely not…?’ She was alarmed suddenly by the thought that he might be intending to head directly to Kate.
