Kate & Alf

by Carrie Stone

  The words were spoken so quickly that Kate took a few seconds to digest the information. ‘You and Marcus? Together? What about Michael? What about the guy from work?’ Her mind was instantly awash with questions. She stared at Megan waiting for an explanation; the stirrings of frustration were flaring up somewhere deep inside as she slowly began to piece things together.

  Megan had the good grace to look away, sensing the excitement around Kate dissipating as her warm smile was replaced with a cold stare.

  ‘There is no guy from work, is there? It’s been Marcus all along, hasn’t it?’ she whispered dispiritedly. Megan’s silence confirmed her suspicions.

  ‘Oh Kate, I’m so sorry I wasn’t honest with you. I didn’t know how you’d feel about it all.’ She glanced towards Vivian pleadingly, who gently nodded for her to continue. ‘It all happened so fast – ever since the day we set you and Alf up at the pub. And then you guys got back together and Marcus and I started to hang out, but I wasn’t even sure if he felt anything in return. I was so worried about telling you, in case you were annoyed and it messed things up with you and Alf.’ Megan lifted her hand to her neck, all at once feeling guilty and stupid for holding back the truth. ‘I understand if you’re angry with me.’

  Feeling crushed, Kate sighed quietly and looked at Vivian for support. The older woman affectionately patted her shoulder. ‘You can’t control matters of the heart, Kate. You know that well enough by now,’ she remarked, sensitively glancing at Megan.

  Noticing Megan’s despairing expression, Kate instinctively reached out and caught hold of her wrist. ‘I’m not angry, Megan, I’m just disappointed. Why didn’t you tell me this from the beginning? I’m your best friend and that’s what friends are for.’ She paused for a moment, glancing in Marcus’s direction. ‘Despite what you may think, Marcus never meant to me what Alf means to me; he was just a rebound in a crazy moment.’ She smiled at her friend. ‘All I want is to see you happy; Marcus is a lovely guy and I couldn’t think of a better person for you. If you two want to give things a try, then I’m right behind you. But what about Michael? The engagement?’ Seeing Megan’s watery eyes and ever so slightly trembling bottom lip, Kate hugged her. ‘Don’t cry, you silly moo! You never cry.’

  Overcome, Megan smiled remorsefully and embraced her friend tightly. ‘Sorry, I’ve been a bundle of nerves since we arrived. I think it’s finally got the better of me. Especially now that you’ve said all that.’ She stepped back, laughing at the absurdity of the situation and wiping a tear from the corner of her eye. ‘I’ve called it off with Michael and what a drama that’s turned out to be. Yet, I’m so happy with Marcus, Kate. But I didn’t want to keep it from you any longer. Viv here was the one who convinced me to be honest with you.’ She gestured to Viv, who held up her hands with a shrug.

  ‘Well, my darlings, as they say, true friendship is to understand and to be understood.’ Vivian shook the small flask in her hand. ‘And, on that note, I’m absolutely parched. So I’m going to leave the pair of you to it, have a top-up and see how Lil’s getting on with her toy boy.’

  Giggling, both women watched as Vivian turned and slowly weaved her way through the thinning crowd. Before either of them had a chance to pick up the thread of their conversation, Daniel appeared by their side with a clipboard under his arm. ‘Kate, can I have a word?’ He glanced apologetically at Megan. ‘It’s about tonight’s sales.’

  Megan jokingly made a bored face at Kate. ‘Right, that’s my cue to leave. I’ll be over with the others.’ Turning away from Daniel, she took a few steps before changing her mind and turning back again. ‘And Kate…’ she scrunched up her nose sentimentally, a habit Kate knew well. ‘Thanks for understanding. You’re the best.’

  Kate smiled as Megan walked off.

  ‘So, tell me about these sales figures then…?’

  ‘Ooh, what a lovely evening that was. I haven’t had that much fun in a long time,’ Lillian said, feeling tipsy as Roberto clumsily helped her into the back seat of the car. He lowered his tall frame into the cramped space next to her as Marcus looked on.

  ‘You okay there, Granddad?’ It hadn’t gone unnoticed by him that his grandfather had made full use of the free wine and appeared slightly the worse for wear.

  Roberto nodded wryly. ‘Don’t worry about me, son. I’m over the moon tonight.’ He laughed and squashed up against Lil, kissing her on the cheek as Vivian shook her head reproachfully.

  ‘You’re like a pair of teenagers, you two. You ought to get a room. And before you get any ideas, Bobbi, I’ll have you know that Oak Park doesn’t allow overnight guests – isn’t that right, Lil?’

  Roberto turned to Viv, his hand waving wildly in her direction. ‘My Lil’s no floozy – I wouldn’t dream of coming back to yours. I’m a gentleman – aren’t I, Lil?’

  ‘Oooh, I dunno about that, Bobbi,’ Lillian answered, grinning. ‘I’ve certainly been a floozy in my time.’

  Clicking her seatbelt into place with a chuckle, Viv shifted herself further along, before leaning forwards and grabbing Megan’s front-seat headrest. ‘Here, listen to this, Kate just told me on the way out that she sold thirty-seven of her paintings and has been commissioned to do two other pieces. How wonderful!’

  Marcus pulled his driver’s door closed and slipped the key in the ignition. ‘Yeah, Daniel just pulled me aside and said that Kate’s been so well received that he’ll be contacting her for another exhibition.’

  ‘Oh, that’s fantastic news – she’s going to be on cloud nine. I’ve honestly not seen her looking as happy as she did tonight for a long time,’ Megan replied, reaching across and placing her hand on Marcus’s knee.

  Roberto made a loud, incoherent comment followed by a belch, causing the others in the back seat to break into laughter. Aware they weren’t paying attention, Megan reached a bit higher towards Marcus’s thigh.

  ‘Oi you, we’ve got company,’ he whispered coyly. ‘Wait until we’ve dropped this lot off.’

  ‘Put your foot down a bit, then. I’m not sure how long I can wait.’ She traced a figure of eight along his thigh with a cheeky grin.

  He slapped her hand away playfully. ‘Are you happy knowing that Kate’s okay about us, then?’ he asked suddenly. ‘Alf guessed straight away, you know.’

  She stopped what she was doing, turning down the corners of her mouth in surprised contemplation. ‘Did he? I would never have guessed. He kept it well hidden if he had his suspicions. He was a bit quiet tonight, though, anyway, wasn’t he? Oh but, yes, I’m so relieved about Kate.’ She sighed happily. ‘Her being okay about us means so much to me. I really thought that she was going to be upset, but she was fine. Did she say anything to you?’

  Marcus shook his head. ‘Only that she thinks we make a great couple. That was about it, really. But then again, Alf interrupted us, so she didn’t really have a chance to say any more.’

  Viv leaned forwards, unexpectedly grabbing Megan, who hadn’t been aware of her listening in to the conversation. ‘Did you get that impression too, then – that Alf wasn’t happy tonight? I didn’t see him crack a smile once, unless it was about himself.’

  Marcus raised his eyebrows discreetly at Megan, keeping wisely quiet. He glanced in his rear-view mirror, noticing his granddad peacefully resting his head against Lil’s, who suddenly hiccupped. Vivian turned to say something and noticed her friend soundly asleep.

  ‘Well, I didn’t get the sense of him being overly enthusiastic about the whole thing, if I’m honest, Viv. I think Kate was a bit too overwhelmed by it all to notice, though,’ Megan ventured. Aware that she was speaking out of turn, she was nevertheless pleased to have the chance to voice her concerns. ‘But, then again, you know what Alf’s like.’

  ‘Hmm, that’s just it; sadly, we all do.’ Vivian slumped back into her seat, mystified as to why Kate – kind, generous and creative Kate – would settle for a relationship that clearly wasn’t right for her and a man who didn’t seem to appreciate her true wor
th. She’d rushed back into things with him far too fast and too soon. Still, at least the evening had been a roaring success. That alone was enough to give her the peace of mind she needed – to know that Kate was going to be okay. She had no doubt her artwork was the start of new things for her.

  As Vivian caught sight of Megan’s hand snaking back towards Marcus’s knee, she suppressed a grin. ‘I think you’d better take note of your lady here and put your foot down a bit, Marcus.’

  He laughed, not needing to be told twice.

  ‘Morning, sleepy.’ Kate watched as Alf stretched and kicked the lower part of the duvet away from his feet. ‘I thought you were never going to wake up.’ Her voice was chirpy and full of promise, still buzzing from the previous night’s events.

  ‘Don’t do that, mate.’ Alf gently pushed Sam’s inquisitive and wet nose away from his face, turning to Kate who – considering the still-early hour – looked radiant and alert. She was tying her hair back into a loose ponytail and it pleased him to see just how naturally attractive she was. ‘Morning.’ He propped himself up on his elbow, not wanting to forsake the warmth and comfort of the bed too hastily. ‘Wow, I slept like a log last night.’

  ‘Don’t I know it?’ she joked, replacing her hairbrush on the dresser. ‘The phone’s rung three times already this morning and you didn’t even stir.’

  Yawning, he ruffled Sam’s fur playfully, noticing Kate’s disapproving gaze. ‘Were any of the calls for me?’ He thought of Nigel Lambert, his pulse suddenly picking up speed.

  ‘Sam shouldn’t be on the bed – get him down. And no, they were for me.’ She finished securing her hair and turned to him with an excited smile. ‘Guess what – Daniel wants me to do another exhibition!’ She waited for him to reply, her smile slowly wilting as she saw the dismay written all over his face.

  ‘Oh, that’s good, huh.’ He threw back the covers, feeling a sudden need to get up and get out of the house. Kate’s oppressively positive vibe was irritating him. ‘Why are you dressed so early anyway?’

  Turning her back to him, Kate found it hard to keep her voice steady. It hadn’t gone unnoticed that the previous evening there had been a distinct lack of support on his part. If she didn’t know better, she’d have thought he’d been avoiding her – only paying her attention when he had something exciting to share about a contact he’d made. After returning home, despite being high on a mix of euphoria and champagne, she recalled Alf’s sullenness. It had been easy at the time to attribute it to his drunken state and excuse his behaviour for being in an environment that wasn’t his ‘thing’ – but now she wasn’t so sure.

  ‘I thought I’d pop round to see Viv and Lil. That’s if they’re not hung-over – they both had quite a bit to drink last night.’

  Alf looked up, surprised. ‘But it’s a Sunday! You’ll be seeing them at work tomorrow, won’t you?’

  She turned back to him, careful not to show her disappointment at his surly expression. ‘Well, I want to tell them the good news about Daniel.’ She couldn’t be sure, but the slight flex of his jaw was enough to suggest his disapproval. Walking towards the wardrobe, perplexed at his behaviour, she retrieved her comfortable pumps. Why was he suddenly acting so off with her? ‘Plus I want to find out the full story about Bobbi – what a surprise that was – and I can’t do that if I’m supposed to be working, can I?’

  Alf scratched his back with one hand and stood up, naked. ‘Okay – if you’re visiting them, then I think I’ll give Marcus a call, go for a game of snooker. Maybe when you’re back we’ll go for a pub lunch?’ He glanced at her, his expression hopeful.

  ‘Yes, that’ll be nice. Let’s do that.’ She watched as he nodded and walked out into the hallway, towards the bathroom.

  ‘Alright, that’s a plan then’ he called out. ‘Have fun. I’ll see you later – I’m going in the shower.’

  She softened as he blew her a kiss before pushing the bathroom door to behind him. Walking down the stairs, she grabbed her keys from her coat pocket on the banister. Maybe she was over-reacting? Why on earth would Alf be unsupportive of her? They’d been getting along so well in the last couple of weeks; it was hard to imagine that he’d want to deny her a chance of being successful at something she loved.

  She wondered if his lack of work was getting to him – could it be that? After all, he was used to being busy; surely it wasn’t easy having that taken away from him, if only on a temporary basis. She made a mental note to delicately raise the subject at lunch and, feeling appeased, headed towards the front door.

  “Like a mill-ion dollar bill, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh…”

  Approaching the Oak Park main entrance and seeing the flashing blue-neon lights of the ambulance, Kate’s exuberance immediately vanished. She ceased singing, reaching for the radio volume and muting it.

  There was a flurry of activity outside the care home as Sunday staff rushed between visitors and residents, some looking harassed and others standing around in groups, their body language sombre.

  Kate’s stomach somersaulted as she sped toward the nearest available space – reserved only for emergencies.

  She knew it was Hilda – the pneumonia had been getting worse, not better. She felt winded, bile rising in her throat. Why hadn’t she taken her more seriously? Hadn’t the doctor warned her that she could relapse easily? Kate hadn’t been the only one to remark on her yellow appearance on Friday. What if they hadn’t acted quickly enough?

  ‘Oh, please God! Don’t let it be serious. Please let her be okay,’ she whispered aloud. Her heart was thumping in her chest as she imagined tiny, frail Hilda being carried out on the makeshift frame. She squashed the rising anxiety that was threatening to choke her.

  Fumbling with her gear stick, Kate watched as paramedics in green uniforms rushed past Alan; standing on the steps of the building, his dishevelled appearance was in visible contrast to his usual suave self. She felt her chest constricting, her body trembling as she forced her physical self to co-operate with her thoughts. She was trained for this, trained for health relapses of residents and used to emergency situations. But she couldn’t shake off the immense feeling of doom that was surrounding her. Something was wrong. Very wrong.

  With shaking hands, Kate hurriedly switched off the engine and opened the car door, rushing towards Alan. He looked up in dazed surprise as he saw her approach, his face paling. She noticed the redness of his eyes, followed by the trembling of his bottom lip. He looked at her in confusion.

  ‘Kate? You’re here. But it’s Sunday?’ Finding it hard to control his speech, she saw that he was quivering. ‘Someone told you already?’

  ‘Alan, what’s going on?’ she asked, her voice coming out strangled.

  It all happened so fast, she didn’t know which came first – Alan pulling her towards him in a tight embrace, or the paramedics pushing her aside and out of the way of the trolley they were wheeling frantically towards the ambulance.

  In a rushed blur of green uniforms, she could only see the top edge of the black body bag covered with a white sheet. By reflex, her hand went up to her mouth in shock – her brain registering despair. No, surely not! Hilda – dead?

  Her heartbeat thudding in her ears, she felt Alan’s strong arms cradle her tightly as from somewhere nearby Lillian’s shrilling, loud voice was echoing in painful, wailing, sobs. ‘No, no, no, no. She can’t be. Not my Viv, please not my Viv.’

  Clarity hitting her like a brick. Kate looked up sharply at Alan, her thoughts streaming from her mind as she tried to fight the dizziness that seemed to be engulfing her. He nodded his head as her legs gave way beneath her. ‘I’m so sorry, Kate, it’s Vivian. They think it was a heart attack.’

  She heard the words as if she was under water, her throat tightening and preventing her from breathing. She tried gasping for air, but it wouldn’t work. Her body was rigid, frozen, Alan’s arms the only thing keeping her upright.

  ‘Not Hilda? Viv?’ Her voice was tiny, barely there and punctured with
heavy grief.

  She was unaware whether it was Lillian’s despairing wailing from a distance or her own animalistic, anguished screams that were the last thing she heard.

  Shortly after everything went black.

  Chapter 27

  ‘Is that all you’re going to eat?’ Megan asked, looking down at the barely touched chicken baguette that sat in front of Kate.

  Kate shrugged, disinterested. ‘I’ve got no appetite.’ She pushed the plate away from her slowly, reaching instead for the sickly sweet tea she had come to rely on of late.

  Megan observed the dark, puffy circles under Kate’s eyes and her drawn, pale and lacklustre appearance, trying not to sigh. ‘Oh, by the way, Marcus heard that Art and Culture mag are running a piece on you this month.’ She nudged her friend, trying to provoke a reaction, but gave up when she was met with a thin smile accompanied by a vacant stare. Tired of pussy-footing around the subject, she decided it was time to take control – even if Kate didn’t agree.

  ‘Hun – it’s been nearly two and a half weeks now.’ She looked at Kate imploringly. ‘You can’t carry on like this, it’s ridiculous.’ She watched as Kate rested her elbow on the tabletop, her chin sinking into her raised hand and her eyes purposefully averted. ‘I’m not saying you can’t grieve. I know how much Vivian meant to you. But she wouldn’t have wanted to see you like this – maundering about so woeful and gloomy.’

  She noticed the glassy sheen appearing in Kate’s eyes and felt momentarily guilty, but knew that it was imperative to continue – her friend’s state of mind was far from healthy. ‘Vivian was so excited for you on the way home from the exhibition that night, Kate. Don’t let her down by giving up on something that she encouraged you with. That would be an insult to her memory. She would want you to be taking control of your life again – she was a strong character and you are, too. It’s time to start living life again, Kate, not hiding away in this house.’

  Kate shifted uncomfortably on her stool, Megan’s words pummelling into her consciousness, making her feel uneasy. She’d tried to drag herself out of the great black hole that she’d found herself sucked into – she really had. She knew as well as anyone that if Viv were still around she’d be cross at the way she was behaving. Even Lillian had tried talking her around, failing miserably. Alf wasn’t much help; he did his best to understand, but she couldn’t explain her feelings. They were too warped and confusing – even for her. She knew the letter had been intended to help her – Vivian’s parting wisdom and advice – but instead it had thrown a shadow of doubt upon everything.