A Broken Girl's Journey 4: Kylie's Song

by Niki Jilvontae

“You were in the moment then, wasn’t it. Yo ass was swaying and everything. Shid, I wanna feel like that too and since I ain’t high and I don’t feel like drawing will you sing me one of yo songs?” Kevin asked Kylie.

  Kevin’s request for a song made her heart race and she suddenly got hot. Kylie didn’t know if she was ready to sing her thoughts to anyone especially someone she didn’t know well, but she knew she always felt better when she let her emotions out. She figured it was worth a try.

  Kylie closed her eyes tightly and thought about her story. She thought about her life before the storm and the life she now had. Suddenly, all of her emotions came pouring down on her, opening up her heart, and letting her shine. Kylie got up and walked over to Kevin’s window to peer at the parking lot filled with people. She opened her lips and the most beautiful voice Kevin had ever heard filled the air. Kylie sang the words to the song she wrote the day she meet Kevin, the last words she wrote before Aunt Tricey took her book. Kevin closed his eyes and listened intently as Kylie poured out her heart in her song.

  “Can you promise me a new day? Can you promise me tomorrow? Can you take away my sorrow? Can you promise a bright future for me? Or is A Broken Girl all I’ll ever be? Can you promise me? Can you promise me?” Kylie song as she got lost in the words.

  Kylie wanted desperately for someone to tell her that everything would be eventually be okay. She needed that reassurance and at that moment Kevin was that someone to offer her hope. When Kylie finished her song, tears streamed down her face as she continued to stare out of the window. Kevin walked over to her and put his arms around her waist, resting his chin on the top of her head. Soon Kylie could feel his warm tears dripping down her chest. She quickly turned to face Kevin and saw that tears were falling from his eyes. Kylie wiped away Kevin’s tears the same way he did her when they first met.

  “You okay?” Kylie asked in a weak voice as she rested her head on Kevin’s chest and he wrapped her in his strong embrace again.

  It felt so good to be in Kevin’s arms. Kylie didn’t want him to ever let her go as she held on to his hands.

  “I’m okay lil’ mama. Thugs have feelings too though and I could feel all the bullshit you have been through in your song. My pain damn near just like yours. I need a muthafucka to promise me that this bullshit ain’t forever. Promise me that I ain’t destined to be dead by seventeen or in jail like my daddy. Hell if a muthafucka can promise me that I’ll leave this bitch today and never look back,” Kevin said in a faraway voice as he stared into space.

  Kylie looked up into Kevin’s handsome, but scarred caramel face and saw someone fighting their own demons. She saw a boy dealing with the harsh realities of his life, forced to be someone he really didn’t want to be in order to survive. She hated the fact that they had to grow up before their time. Tears fell from Kylie’s eyes as she stared at Kevin. Suddenly, Kevin looked down at her and she felt warm all over. He gently wiped away her tears and kissed her softly on the lips. Electricity shot all through Kylie’s body and she felt anxious as Kevin kissed her deeply.

  Kylie had never been kissed by a boy before and she remembered how her father always told her kissing led to other things like sex. She knew she wasn’t ready for that, so she pulled away from Kevin’s embrace and went over to sit on the bed. She hugged herself and rocked back and forth as her nervousness increased. She wanted to be with Kevin, but not like that. Kylie hoped that he wasn’t angry at her for being a tease like all the other boys in the neighborhood said she was. She couldn’t even look at Kevin as he stood over her.

  “Aye, don’t worry lil’ mama. I ain’t gonna never do nothing you don’t want me to. Okay?” Kevin asked as he sat down next to Kylie.

  “Besides, I like that good girl in you. I don’t want to taint that. You’re the only good, pure thing I have in my life right now. I ain’t gonna fuck that up. I want you to stay all modest and shit. Don’t give them cookies up easily...Ms. Boogie.” Kevin said as he and Kylie both burst out laughing, breaking her nervousness.

  “I do want something from you though,” Kevin said as she stared so intensely in Kylie’s eyes she had to look away.

  His gaze was so intoxicating Kylie felt dizzy. She wondered what he wanted from her. She was almost afraid to ask.

  “What do you want Kevin?” Kylie asked looking back up him as she felt breathless.

  “I want you to keep writing and be willing to share your songs with me,” Kevin said with sincerity.

  Kylie was so touched because aside from her brother and her parents, no one had taken interest in her music, but Kevin did.

  “I don’t have my book. She took it,” Kylie said with a tear in her eye as she remembered aunt Tricey taking her book with all of the songs she’d ever written in it.

  Kevin wiped at her tear and stared into her eyes before responding.

  “That’s okay, I’ll buy you another one. You can always start over. Your songs are in your heart and she can never take that from you.” Kevin said as he rubbed Kylie’s arm and stared at her with a deep, thoughtful look.

  Kylie felt tears well up in her eyes from Kevin’s words. Suddenly, Kevin jumped up, grabbed his giant sketchbook and pencils, and sat back down next to Kylie smiling.

  “Let me draw you Kylie. Let me capture this beauty sitting in front of me in case this is all a dream.” Kevin asked as Kylie nodded her head yes while fighting back her tears.

  Kylie couldn’t believe how sweet and loving Kevin was under that rough exterior. She stared at him intently as he went to work drawing her with a serious look on his face. When Kevin was done, Kylie almost fainted when she saw the beautiful drawing of her with her long, black hair blowing in the wind. Kevin had captured the very essence of who she was in his drawing and at the same time he captured her heart.

  Over the next two hours Kylie and Kevin were wrapped up in their own little world in his room, talking and joking. For that moment in time they completely forgot about all of the chaos outside. They didn’t even realize how much time had passed until Kylie’s stomach began growling loudly. She suddenly remembered she hadn’t eaten in two days since aunt Tricey had decided she didn’t deserve to eat. Kevin heard the rumble of Kylie’s stomach and remembered that he hadn’t eaten himself. He got up off of the bed and got dressed to go out for food.

  “What you want to eat lil’ mama?” Kevin asked as he put the gun and money on his dresser into his pocket while staring at Kylie through the mirror.

  “It doesn’t matter to me. I’ll eat whatever you eat, but I don’t have any money,” Kylie said staring back at Kevin in the mirror.

  Kevin quickly turned and went back to sit on the bed next to Kylie.

  “Didn’t I tell you that you straight when you with me lil’ mama? You don’t need no money. I got you. Now, I’m finna go check the trap then Ima get us something to eat and I’m coming right back. Don’t leave out of my room unless you have to use the bath room. When you come back lock the door behind you. Don’t stop to talk to nobody and if somebody fuck with you call me ASAP. The phone right there and here my number again.” Kevin said pointing to the cordless phone on the nightstand as he wrote his number down for Kylie.

  Kylie could feel her heart beating in her throat as her mind raced, wondering why Kevin wanted her to lock herself in. She wanted to ask, but she was too afraid to. However, Kevin could see the fear in her eyes. He knew he had to reassure her.

  “I’m just telling you that cause it’s always a house full of niggas here and them muthafuckas act like vultures when they see females with they thirsty asses,” Kevin said laughing.

  Kylie nervously laughed too, but on the inside she was screaming, “Don’t leave me here!”

  “You’ll be aight just stay here,” Kevin said before getting up and walking to the door.

  “Lock this muthafucka behind me. Okay?” Kevin asked as Kylie walked behind him to the door.

  “Okay.” Kylie said as Kevin kissed her on the tip of her nose and gave her that millio
n dollar, gold-plated smile.

  “Aight,” Kevin said closing the door.

  As soon as the door closed, Kylie quickly locked it behind him. She stood there with her back against the door, staring around Kevin’s room as her mind drifted back to her life before. She thought about the loving, happy home life she had come from and how different it was from Kevin’s life, and her life since living with aunt Tricey. Kylie wondered how some parents could put their kids through so much just to satisfy their own selfish needs. Kylie remembered how selfless her parents were, devoting their entire lives to her and her brother J-J.

  Suddenly, sadness overcame Kylie as she thought about how much she missed her brother. She wished that she could reach him and find out if he really didn’t want her or love her anymore like aunt Tricey said. Tears streamed down Kylie’s face as she sat on the bed and stared at the phone, wishing she had a number for her brother so that she could call him.

  Kylie noticed a sketch pad next to Kevin’s bed and quickly picked it up, looking at all of the beautiful cartoons he had drawn. The cartoon’s main character was himself and he was depicting everyday life in the hood. Kylie got to one page in the cartoon and stopped. It was a scene in which Kevin’s mother, who he drew as a demon, was selling her children for crack and he got killed trying to save them.

  Kylie quickly closed the book as the images played over and over in her head. She felt so sorry for Kevin because she knew that he was a good person inside. He just lived in horrible circumstances that caused him to act out. Kylie hoped that someday all of that would change.

  For the next hour Kylie looked at all of the pictures and drawings in Kevin’s room, until the urge to pee hit her. She tried to fight the urge as long as she could, but it was no use. She had to go right then or she would pee all over Kevin’s bed.

  Kylie held her breath as she unlocked Kevin’s door, opening it slowly so that she could peer out into the hallway. After seeing that the hall was empty, Kylie quietly made her way down the hall, passed two closed bedroom doors to the bathroom. Inside she quickly relieved herself, washed her hands, and splashed cold water on her face before sneaking back into the hall. When Kylie got back in front of Kevin’s door, she stood there for a minute, listening to the commotion downstairs. She could hear Kevin’s mama, Brenda, laughing loudly, kids yelling, boys talking, and the loud bass from the rap music still playing.

  Kylie quickly slipped back into the room and closed the door behind her. When she got into the room, she felt her stomach suddenly began to churn and she felt as if all of the air inside of her had left. She was totally paralyzed with fear as the hair on the back of her neck stood up. Kylie was so afraid to turn around and see who was in the room waiting for her.

  The seconds Kylie stood at the door with her eyes closed holding her breath seemed like an eternity. Just then Kylie gathered her courage, turned around, and looked directly into the bruised and battered face of the boy who Kevin had beat up for her. He was sitting on the bed with a weird grin on his face, staring at Kylie. Before she could run out of the room, the boy was up off of the bed, grabbing her around the neck, and pinning her against the door. Fear spread through Kylie’s body like a wildfire and she began to shake violently as the boy tightened his grip around her throat.

  “Yea lil’ uppity bitch. I got you now. Where the fuck is my $20 or are you ready to give me my $20 worth of that pussy?” the boy asked with a crazy look in his eyes.

  Kylie squirmed and tried to breathe as the boy drug her over to the bed, throwing her down.

  “Please don’t,” Kylie cried as soon as the boy’s tight grip was off her throat and she could breathe again.

  Kylie tried to scoot up the bed and away from the boy, but he quickly grabbed her legs, pulling her back to him.

  “Naw lil’ bitch don’t beg now. You wasn’t begging when you told Kevin ole’ Captain Save em’ ass to hit me with the burner, so don’t cry now. You gonna pay me bitch.” The boy said as he forcefully spread Kylie’s legs and wedged himself between them.

  Kylie began to slap, scratch, and push the boy, trying to get him off of her, but he was way too strong. The more she fought, the more forceful the boy became as he ripped the t-shirt she was wearing from her body. Kylie reached up and scratched the boy across his face, leaving a long bleeding gash across the middle of his forehead.

  Kylie’s attempt to fight back enraged the boy and she saw the madness in his eyes as he unleashed two solid punches into her face. The impact from the boy’s punches were so forceful Kylie passed out. When she came awake seconds later, she could feel the boy pulling her tights off. Kylie’s head swam and she felt pain all over the left side of her face from when the boy punched her. She tried to open her left eye, but it was so painful and already swollen that she couldn’t. She was able to focus her other eye enough to see that the boy was still over her, unbuckling his pants. Kylie began to panic, knowing that the boy was about to take from her, something she wasn’t ready to give anyone. She had to try and stop him.

  “Please don’t do this. I’m sorry for bumping you. Please don’t do this,” Kylie cried as the boy pulled his pants down and laid back on top of her.

  “Naw bitch, we share pussy over here. You up here fucking Kebo, so I know I can get some of this pussy. Now, shut the fuck up before I bust yo shit.” The boy said as he forcefully pinned Kylie’s arms down to her side and began to lick her breasts.

  Tears fell from Kylie’s eyes as she screamed for the boy to stop, but he wouldn’t listen. He repositioned by holding both of Kylie’s arms over her head with his right hand while using his left to pull his boxers down. Kylie cringed when she felt his finger graze her vagina as he pulled her panties to the side and prepared to enter her. Just then the door flew open and Kevin walked in carrying their food.

  Chapter 5

  Kylie felt relief rush over her as she stared at Kevin walking through the door. Kevin dropped the food and drinks he was carrying and grabbed his gun out of his waistband as soon as he saw the boy on top of Kylie.

  “What the fuck… you bitch ass nigga!” Kevin yelled as he rushed forward, yanking the boy off Kylie by the collar of his shirt.

  Kylie quickly sat up in the bed and tucked her knees up into her chest, crying as she watched Kevin beat the boy mercilessly with his gun.

  “Bitch ass nigga I’m a kill you nigga!” Kevin yelled as he choked the boy until his eyes began bulging out of their sockets.

  “Don’t kill him, Kevin. Please, he’s not worth it.” Kylie cried as she snapped out of her dazed and quickly slipped on the over-sized tee laying on Kevin’s dresser.

  Kevin looked at Kylie with tears in his eyes as he let the boy go. The boy coughed and began cursing as blood poured from the wound in his head.

  “Fuck you nigga and that bitch. I was gone rape and kill that lil’ hoe. You better be glad you brought yo trick ass back!” The boy yelled spitting blood on Kevin’s shirt.

  Before Kylie could say anything Kevin had hit the boy square in the nose, breaking it on contact. Blood squirted everywhere as Kevin continued to hit him.

  “Who the pussy? Bitch you the one leaking like a pussy, ole’ hoe ass nigga. See baby, you can’t have feelings and compassion for a nigga like this. You gotta deal wit em like the hoe they is. You gotta learn how to stand up for yo self. Get over here and kick this pussy in his face!” Kevin yelled as he punched the cursing, squirming boy again.

  His arms flapped around wildly as he tried to fight Kevin off. Kylie started to feel sorry for the boy until she stepped forward and looked at her face in the mirror. Her left eye was purple and completely swollen shut and she had a huge gash on her forehead. Suddenly, all of the hurt and rage Kylie had buried deep inside came rushing forward. She forgot about all of the compassion and love she always felt for others. In that moment her rage and Kevin’s encouragement pushed her to violence she never thought she was capable of.

  Kylie rushed forward and kicked the boy directly in his face as Kevin laugh
ed. She stomped him in the face with her pink chucks two more times before finally snapping back to herself. Kylie slowly backed away holding herself and shaking her head in disbelief at what she had just done. The boy lie there in a puddle of his own blood as Kevin grabbed him by the legs pulling him into the hall.

  “Don’t you feel sorry for this nigga, Kylie. He was gonna kill you.” Kevin said before yelling for his brother as he continued to stare back into the room at Kylie.

  Kylie was still standing there in a daze, shaking and crying looking at the boy.

  “Take this pussy to the firing squad!” Kevin yelled to his brother and cousin who ran upstairs to see what happened.

  “Bitch nigga came in here and tried to rape my girl. I want his ass gone. And tell mama I don’t want no muthafuckas in this house from now on if I don’t approve em. I mean that shit!” Kevin yelled and raged causing the veins in his neck to protrude.

  Kevin’s brother and cousin nodded their heads that they understood and began dragging the unconscious boy downstairs. Kylie shivered as she watched his bloody face disappear down the steps. She hated seeing someone hurt, but in her heart she knew the boy deserved it after what he did to her. Kevin had a pained expression on his face as he picked up the food and two can drinks he dropped and came into the room. He held Kylie close and told her how sorry he was as he stroked her hair.