by Sara V. Zook
She then put her finger up to my lips to hush me. She smiled. “No,” she said. “Family comes first.”
I stood up and looked around my mess of a room. Clothes were scattered everywhere. I couldn’t tell which ones were clean and which ones were dirty. I wasn’t the most organized person in the world when it came to my apartment, that’s for sure, and I didn’t know where to start as far as packing was concerned. “Can you come with me?” I already knew she’d say no, but wanted to ask. Over the last few months, I’d learned to lean on Gwen when I needed some TLC in my own life. She was amazing and always took my burdens head-on, making me a stronger person afterward.
She shook her head, her long blonde hair falling across her shoulders as she leaned her head against my shoulder. “I’m sorry, babe. I have a lot of things coming up at the office that I can’t miss.”
I frowned but tried to hide it from her. “I’ll make this up to you as soon as I get back.”
“There’s nothing to make up for,” Gwen reassured me. “Go be with your brother and sister-in-law.”
Damn, she was something special. I was hanging onto this girl, that’s for sure.
TWO
Livvy
“Mrs. Thorne?”
I stood straight up, the tissue still smashed and clenched in my fist. I didn’t know what time it was, and I didn’t know how long I’d sat there with Sean beside me, but it felt like an eternity. I was both mentally and physically exhausted. My pregnant belly growled, yet I refused to eat until I knew for sure what was going on.
“That’s me.”
A man in scrubs nodded and pulled a hat from his head. “Dr. Treegle, nice to meet you.”
I rhythmically shook his hand. I felt as though I were holding my breath. Just tell me already. Just spit it out. Please, for the love…just tell me.
“I just did surgery on your husband.”
“How is he?” I blurted out.
The doctor’s eyes moved to someone behind me. I supposed it was Sean. This doctor was being so slow. I wanted to choke the answers out of him. “He’s stable—for now. I’m afraid Mr. Thorne has had a major heart attack. His body has taken quite the blow. The EMTs managed to get his heart working again on the way here, and we had to revive him again ourselves as he started to crash on the operating table. He has some artery abnormalities where one wasn’t connected properly because of its shape. These are rare conditions that happen at birth and are often left undetected until something like this happens. We managed to repair the artery, but he’s weak, very weak. He’s sedated for now so he can rest and try to heal. His blood pressure is pretty low yet, his rhythm is slow, so it’s just a waiting game for right now. Like I said, his body has taken a beating from this heart attack I’m afraid, so we’ll just have to see how the next few hours and days go.”
“So that’s it? I’m just supposed to wait more? You can’t tell me for sure if he’s going to live or die?” I snapped.
Again, the doctor’s gaze shifted back to Sean behind me. That really pissed me off. Sean had nothing to do with this. It was none of his business to even be standing here hearing any of this, let alone be the subject of the doctor’s attention.
“I wish there was more I could tell you, I really do. Unfortunately, that’s all I have for you right now. He’s a fighter, I can tell you that. Let’s just hope he continues to fight.” The doctor nodded at me and turned around and left back through the doors.
I wanted to scream out at him, make him come back and stand here so I could at least interrogate him, rid myself of this pent up frustration caused by unanswered questions. He hadn’t told me anything. This was so ridiculous. And when could I even see Darin?
“Miss? Excuse me, miss?” I heard Sean say behind me.
I turned around to see a nurse nearby. Sean reached out and touched her arm. “Can you let us know when Mrs. Thorne here would be able to see her husband?”
The nurse’s eyes met mine. Sean must be a mind reader.
“I think they just put him in a room in the ICU,” the nurse replied. “Let me check and I’ll get right back to you, but only family will be able to see him. You both family?”
Sean shook his head. “Only her.”
“Okay then.” She glanced at me again. “I’ll be right back.”
“Sean, you don’t have to stay here.”
“I know it,” Sean replied. “But I want to be here for you. You need someone.”
I swallowed and placed my hand on his shoulder. “You’ve been so kind to me, Sean. I can’t express to you how appreciative I am.”
“You don’t have to thank me.”
I pressed my lips together. “Go on home. I’ll be here for a long time, and I don’t want you waiting on me. My husband’s little brother is flying in. Knowing him, he’ll be here as fast as he can, so please go home and get some rest. I’ll be okay.”
The older man slowly nodded his head. “Okay, then.” He reached for my hand and squeezed it. “You take care of yourself and that little one, too, you hear?”
“Thank you.”
The nurse popped up beside me again. “If you’re ready, I’ll take you to Mr. Thorne now. I’m going right past his room,” she offered.
I didn’t know what to expect as I followed the woman through a couple of doors and down a long corridor. I felt like I couldn’t breathe right, my breaths coming fast and short.
“Here we are,” the nurse said, motioning toward a door. “Go ahead in.”
For the hurry I’d been in, I walked slowly into the room. There he was, lying pale and still with all kinds of machines hooked up to him, his eyes closed.
“Oh, Darin,” I whispered, covering his hand with my own. I stood there staring at him for a few moments letting the reality of the situation settle in. Then I reached for a nearby chair and pulled it over to my husband’s side. I tossed the tissue I’d tortured for the last few hours in the waste basket and reached for a new one. “Okay,” I whispered. “Okay,” I repeated a little louder. “We’re okay here, Darin. You’re alive, and you just keep fighting like you have been, you hear me?”
I felt better sitting here seeing him, hearing the heart monitor keeping track of his beats. He was in a good hospital. The doctor seemed sure of what he was talking about. There was nothing to be afraid about anymore. We had been through too much to have it all stop here with this—a heart attack. No, I refused to let this get me down anymore. If I’d fought through that coma, Darin could fight his way back to me through this, too. He was stronger than me after all, and not only did he have me to come back to, but our son as well. At the thought of our child, I felt a little nudge in the middle of my belly. I smiled. I wasn’t alone. I had this baby, a piece of Darin I was carrying around inside of me.
A nurse entered the room and checked on Darin’s vitals. She turned and made eye contact with me. “He’s in good hands. We’ll take care of him.”
I nodded and returned the smile. “Thank you. I know you will. How’s he doing now?”
“He’s hanging in there.”
Was that code for he may not live much longer?
“You’re his wife?”
I nodded.
The nurse pointed to the chair in the corner of the room. “That folds out into a bed. Might not be the most comfortable thing, but I can get you a pillow and blanket if you want.”
“Yeah, thanks.”
“You look like you could use some rest,” the nurse added before leaving the room.
Thanks for stating the obvious. I leaned over and put my head down against Darin’s arm. I closed my eyes and listened to the rhythm of the machines, the rhythm of his heart, which did seem agonizingly slow.
These obstacles in life were overwhelming. Never did I think when I first married Darin that all these things would happen to us. I sighed. Then again, I did feel fortunate. It could be Violet sitting here pregnant with Darin’s baby instead of me. He had chosen me, and I’d chosen him, and for now, that’s all we needed t
o be complete. Fate would find a way to do the rest.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Shane
I got out of the taxi and looked up at the old house. I grabbed my bags and paid the driver. This is where Darin and I grew up. My parents had had us late in life. They were in their late 70s right now but still managed this property on their own. I glanced over at the empty barn that reached the edge of the field. Vines crawled up its sides and the grass needed mowing. I supposed my dad hadn’t tried to hire a teenager or someone to come over and do some of the trimming. No, he’d be too proud to do something like that.
I walked up the front steps, my luggage dragging behind me. I swung open the creaky screen door and stepped inside. The smell of cooking beef entered my nostrils. I put down the bags and took a deep breath.
“Anyone home?” I shouted.
My mother appeared, walking slowly toward me. She had gained even more weight since the last time I’d seen her. Her frizzy white hair was pulled tightly back into a bun. She smiled and reached her arms out to me. I hugged her back.
“Did you have a good flight, Shane?” she asked.
“Yeah. It was fine.” She smelled of lemons. “Where’s Dad? Is he ready?”
“He’s in the living room trying to get his shoes on. He’s having a hard time. His back’s been bothering him a lot lately,” she explained.
I moved past her and through a little archway that led to a small, open room. The television was on with the volume turned down, and there sat my dad on the flowered sofa, bent over trying to tie his shoes but failing miserably. My heart sank a little at the pathetic scene before me. My dad looked rough—really rough. Had I really been gone so long that I hadn’t noticed how poorly my parents were doing?
“Here, let me get it,” I told him, bending down on one knee to tie his shoes. “Maybe you should invest in some Velcro so you don’t have to mess with laces,” I suggested.
My dad grunted. “Velcro? That’s for old people.” Then he cracked a grin.
I rolled my eyes and helped him to his feet.
“Grab that cane over there for me, son,” he said, pointing to the floor where the thing had fallen over.
I handed it to him. “Ready?” We were a little over an hour and a half from the hospital where Darin was. I’d called my parents on my way to the airport in California and informed them of the situation, as much as I could from what Livvy had given me. I then had to figure out which hospital he was in and had tried to call Livvy a few times, but she hadn’t answered. I assumed she was resting, so I’d let her alone. After making a few phone calls, I figured it out and had gotten an address. My mother asked me to stay with them instead of getting a hotel. I knew it was going to be tough commuting from their house to the hospital all the time, but I didn’t have the heart to tell her no. I wasn’t home all that often and usually for a holiday once a year if that. The connection I had with my parents had fallen off the grid some time ago. They’d given me and Darin what they could and had no arguments about my moving to California after college. They had never come to visit either. Airplanes scared them. New places scared them. They were just old-fashioned, I guess you could say. I think it’s more of my father’s thinking than my mother’s. I figured I owed it to her to spend some time back on the old farm, though it wasn’t functioning anymore. Maybe I could clean up some of the weeds and do some work around the place if I had the time.
“Are we taking the old Chrysler?” I asked, seeing the golden-colored car parked in the driveway beside the house. “Does it even run anymore?”
“Of course it does,” my dad replied, walking toward the ancient vehicle.
I raised my eyebrows. “Okay then. Where’s the keys? I’m driving.”
“I don’t know if I’m going to be able to make this drive,” my dad said, opening the back door and sinking into the seat as he pulled his cane across him.
“Why do you say that?” I asked, helping my mother into the passenger side.
She sighed. “His back, Shane. I told you about his back.”
“Maybe I should just stay here,” he said.
“No,” my mother told him sternly. “We both have to go see Darin.”
I got into the driver’s side and put the keys in the ignition. The motor roared to life as I pulled back the handle on the dash to put the car into drive. “You going then for sure, Dad?” I wanted to make certain before I left. “We’re going to be there a while. I’m not driving the whole way there only to turn right back around again.”
“Yes, I’m going,” he growled back as if it were a ridiculous question to ask.
“Let’s get a move on. It looks like rain, and I don’t like traveling in bad weather,” my mother commented, pressing her face against the window as she gazed up at the cloudy sky.
I sighed. This was going to be a long trip with the two of them. Quality time with my parents. I almost laughed aloud. I wondered what Gwen was doing. I needed to call her, but I felt a little awkward speaking to her in front of my parents. I’d told my mother I was seeing someone, but hadn’t said much more than that. “I’m going to make a call real quick,” I announced, retrieving my cell phone from my pocket.
Neither one of my parents said a word as I turned right onto a road and entered in Gwen’s number.
“Shane?”
“Hey. Yeah, it’s me.”
“Hi. How is everything? Did you make it to your parents’?” Gwen asked.
I licked my dry lips. “Yeah. They’re with me now. We’re on our way to the hospital to see Darin.”
“Good. I’m glad you could take them with you.”
I quietly chuckled. “Yeah, well, we’ll see how glad I am about it when I get there.”
There was a pause of silence on the other end.
“You working?” I questioned her.
“Yeah. Just got out of a meeting. It was pure torture, but I think I got everyone on board, finally.”
Gwen was always in work mode, and she was damn good at her job.
“Know anything else that’s going on with your brother?” Gwen asked.
“No. I tried to call Livvy a couple times, but she didn’t answer.”
“I hope everything’s okay.”
“I’m sure she’s just resting. It was probably a really long night for her.”
“I’m sure.”
Tiny rain droplets began hitting the windshield. My mother gasped beside me as if it were the end of the world. Her hand clamped down on the handle of her door as if she were holding on for dear life. I sighed and pretended I hadn’t noticed. “I’ll give you a call later then, okay?”
“Sounds good, Shane. Talk to you soon. Love you.”
“Love you, too. Bye.” I hung up the phone and tossed it onto the console.
The rain poured down faster. I struggled to find the lever to start the windshield wipers.
“A girlfriend of yours, Shane?” my father finally asked after a few moments of silence.
I mentally groaned. Relationships weren’t something I usually discussed with my father. It was another awkward conversation. “Yeah. Her name’s Gwen. She’s back in California.”
A small smile crossed my mother’s lips beside me.
Gwen was my first serious relationship after all these years. I’d gone from girl to girl without finding the right one for a very long time. Thinking about Gwen gave me a sense of peace. She was my rock even now being on the other side of the country. I missed her already. I was sure my mother was wanting me to marry and settle down. She’d never said those exact words, but I could read her mind. I was too old to be playing around anymore. Darin had settled down. It was my turn to do the same. I’d always envied the way Darin and Livvy were together. They seemed so perfect—so happy. That’s how Gwen made me feel. She was so kind and understanding. She wasn’t moody or psychotic like some of the other chicks I’d dated. I h
oped this mess with Darin wouldn’t take too long, that he’d be better in no time so I could get my butt back into Gwen’s gorgeous arms. I wanted to pick right up where we’d left off last night.
THREE
Livvy
I woke up confused by my surroundings. Then I saw Darin lying in bed before me and reality rushed back. I rubbed furiously at the kink in my neck because of the odd way I’d been sleeping. I had tried so hard not to fall asleep, but I guess exhaustion had won the battle. I pulled off the blanket someone had placed around my legs and stood. My eyes felt swollen from all the crying.
“Hungry?”
I jumped at the voice. Turning, I saw Shane standing there, a huge grin on his face, holding up a bag from a fast food place.
“Shane!” I cried out, running into his arms. He hugged me tightly. It felt so good to have him here in flesh and blood. He always made bad circumstances better with his optimistic personality. “But how did you get here? I thought you’d call…”
“I did.” The corner of his mouth curved up into a smirk. “A couple times. You didn’t answer, but I figured out which hospital it was.” He pointed a finger to the side of his head. “I’m no dummy, you know?”
I laughed and glanced down at my cell phone on the stand beside Darin. It was turned off. “Oh, yeah. No cell phones allowed past the ICU doors. I forgot, sorry. I must’ve really conked out there.”
“I’m sure you needed every ounce of it.” He held up the bag again. “Breakfast?” Shane’s dark eyes shifted down to my belly. It was the first time he’d seen me pregnant.
I nodded. “I’m starving. What do you got in there?” I looked back at Darin, at all the machines still recording his heart rhythm, and my own heart ached for him. I reached up to the sides of my hair and smoothed them back. I could only imagine how much of a disheveled mess I looked. “How long have you been here?”
Shane pulled out a couple of breakfast sandwiches and handed me one. He took a seat beside me and glanced at his brother, too. “Only about an hour or so. I drove Mom and Dad down.”
