by Sara V. Zook
I stiffened at his remark. “Your parents…are here? Now?”
He nodded. “Yeah, why?”
I stuffed my mouth full of a bite of egg and bacon and shrugged. I was suddenly very self-conscious about my appearance with Darin’s family all here. I needed a toothbrush and a comb.
Shane watched me eat for a minute. “Do you want mine, too?”
Looking down, my one bite had consumed most of the sandwich. I chewed furiously and reached over to punch him in the arm. He laughed.
“Seriously. I haven’t even taken a bite. If you need mine too, I’m willing to give it up for my little nephew’s sake.”
I tried to slow down my chewing. I hadn’t realized how long it’d been since I’d eaten last and how famished I really was, especially more so being pregnant. I waved my hand in the air as I attempted to swallow the huge mouthful. “No, no, this will be fine.”
Shane took a bite but kept his eyes on me, amused, I was sure, from the way I was inhaling my food. “Dad’s back is getting pretty bad. They were in here for a little bit, but he had to get up and take a walk. Guess he was starting to stiffen up.”
Ugh. They had been in here while I slept. How embarrassing. “Why didn’t you wake me?”
Shane ignored me. “They’ll be back soon. I told them to go get some coffee.”
I stared over at Darin. “Have any nurses or doctors been in?”
“Nurses check on him constantly but no doctors. They said someone would be in later this morning.” Shane frowned. “One nurse said he has abnormalities in his one artery. How didn’t we know this before?”
I shrugged. “Yeah, I don’t know. Maybe the doctor can explain more, but I just need to know he’s going to be okay.” I felt my voice begin to choke. Oh god, I hoped I wasn’t going to cry again. My entire body was still lagging from the emotional turmoil I’d put on it last night.
Shane reached over and patted my leg. “He’s tough, Liv. He’s going to be fine. I know it. Don’t even second guess that, do you hear me?”
I nodded. “Thanks for breakfast. Now where’s my coffee?”
“Ha. Are you supposed to drink coffee when you’re pregnant?”
“I can have a little. I’d settle for some orange juice.”
Shane stood up. “Orange juice it is. I’ll be right back.”
My stomach felt better and I was a little more rested. Now I could focus on whatever it was that the day brought, hopefully a good report on Darin from one of the cardiologists. I reached out and touched his hand again, making sure he was still there with me.
“Darin,” I whispered, “your family’s here, your mom, Shane, even your dad. I need you to wake up, honey. Please, Darin. Come back to me. I need to see you open your eyes.” I stared at him, willing it to happen, but all I could hear was the slow beating of his heart rippling across the monitor and his breathing to match it.
The door opened and in came Darin’s parents, Evelyn and Henry. I stood up to greet them.
“I must look a mess,” I said nervously, giving them each a kiss on the cheek and helping his dad walk over to sit in the chair I’d been sleeping in.
Evelyn waved a hand in the air. “Nonsense. You’ve been through hell and back last night. I don’t expect you to look like a super model.” My eyes shifted to my father-in-law who gave me a quick wink. “How are you, dear? How are you holding up with everything and the pregnancy?”
“Oh, I’m fine.” I didn’t want anyone worrying about me right now.
“Tell us how it all happened,” Henry asked. “What happened last night with Darin?”
I took a deep breath, my shoulders slumping slightly as if it were my fault, feeling as if I didn’t take good enough care of Darin or something. “We were just having a late dinner. I was at the sink washing dishes, Darin was cleaning up the table. We were talking and then he didn’t answer me. It took me a few moments to realize something was wrong. I turned around only to watch him slump to the floor holding his chest. I…I called 911 and…that’s basically it. I wish I had more to tell you.”
“Here’s your juice,” Shane announced as he came back into the room and handed it to me.
“Thanks, Shane.” I immediately put the cup up to my lips and drank, still feeling guilty. “Did he have any problems with his heart when he was a child?”
My mother-in-law shook her head as she shifted positions in her chair. “No, nothing I can recall at all.”
“The doctors will sort it all out,” Shane told us in a convincing tone.
We all just sat there for a little while looking at Darin, making small talk and waiting. I was already so tired of being patient. It made me think of how worried Darin must’ve been when I’d been in that coma. He’d wanted me to come back to him, open my eyes, but I didn’t. I couldn’t imagine going through the same thing with him. No, I thought. Darin had to be okay. Life wouldn’t allow him to be taken from me after all we’d been through and finally getting our lives back together again. With a baby boy on the way, he needed his father, and I refused to lose him. A surge of anger pulsated through me. I grabbed Darin’s hand and linked his fingers between mine. I would hold onto him no matter what. We only proved before we could get through anything. This would be just another stumbling block. Now they knew what was going on with his heart, they’d found the problem, and they’d fixed it. It was time to heal, and I’d be the one to help nurse him back to health. I felt a little better feeling his warm skin against mine. The door pulled open again. A doctor entered the room.
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Shane
“I’m Dr. Hummell.” The man moved around the room and shook everyone’s hand. He went over and examined Darin and kept checking his laptop he had carried in with him, seeming to study everything in depth. We just sat there and watched him, waiting for some sort of answer to how this all could’ve happened.
“Okay,” the doctor finally said. “Was it explained to you what exactly happened to Mr. Thorne last night?”
I glanced over at Livvy. She had her hands folded in front of her as she sat up perfectly straight as if she were trying not to break down, like she had all of her hope and future placed in this doctor in the white lab coat standing before us.
“The surgeon explained a little last night, but I’m afraid I wasn’t able to focus very well. Something about abnormalities of an artery?” Livvy asked, her voice unsteady and quiet.
Dr. Hummell nodded. “Correct. Mr. Thorne, being in his middle 30s, is a reasonably healthy man. He’s had no history of anything except some depression in the past…”
For when his wife was taken abruptly from him, I thought to myself.
“And so why does this go unnoticed in a man like Mr. Thorne for so long? Well, something brought it on last night, stress or exertion…”
“He was only cleaning off the kitchen table,” Livvy informed him.
The doctor nodded again. “In healthy men like Mr. Thorne, unfortunately abnormalities of the arteries do go unnoticed until something brings them on. This is a congenital defect.”
“Meaning what?” my dad questioned him.
“Meaning Mr. Thorne’s had this since birth. The defect is the shape of one of the arteries of the heart. The heart depends on the arteries to get its blood supply, oxygen, and nutrients. Therefore, this artery had been lacking in that department, and the heart wasn’t able to get the proper source of blood needed, thus giving Mr. Thorne a myocardial infarction, an MI.”
“A heart attack,” Livvy whispered.
“Exactly. A heart attack.” The doctor’s gaze moved back to Darin. “Now surgery was performed last night to help correct the defect so that the heart muscle could receive proper blood flow once again. There was some damage done to the muscle during the MI, however, and they had to shock his heart back into working not once, but twice according to notes. There’s been significant da
mage to Mr. Thorne, and as you can see,” he said pointing to the monitor, “his blood pressure continues to be lower than we would like along with a very slow pulse.”
“How long till he gets better, doc?” I threw in, taking note how Livvy’s face had now drained of color while listening to the man’s words.
The doctor pressed his lips together and looked down at his computer for a moment. “He’s still not doing well. We have him on medication to try and bring the pressure and heart rhythm back up to speed. He’s not responding to it, however, so it’s just a matter of time of monitoring and continuing to administer medication to him. The next few days of observation will tell us exactly what kind of prognosis we’re looking at here.”
“What are you thinking in terms of prognosis based off of how Darin’s doing now?” my mother asked.
I was instantly pissed she’d asked that question after he’d just rambled on about how poorly my brother was doing. I was concerned about Livvy right now. She didn’t look so good, and I didn’t think she could take the words I knew were about to slip out of the doctor’s mouth, but I sat there without exploding on anyone, waiting to hear more about my brother’s doom.
Dr. Hummell paused for a moment. “Right now, with the way things have been since the surgery without much change, if things don’t start to improve soon, Mr. Thorne’s prognosis isn’t looking too promising.” He nodded his head at us. “I’ll be back around later to check in on him. If you have any questions, the nurses can communicate with me.”
“Thank you, doctor,” my dad said, leaning over to shake his hand again.
“Oh, one more thing,” my mother chimed in. “This is Darin’s brother. How likely is it that he has the same congenital defect?”
The doctor turned on his heels at the door to face her. “Some studies have shown that these sorts of abnormalities can be passed down from family, however, there’s not enough evidence to prove that. I suggest you get yourself checked out, though, just for peace of mind,” he replied, making eye contact with me.
I nodded. I wasn’t concerned about myself in the least right now. I had two people to worry about—actually three, I thought, glancing back down at Livvy’s belly.
My father groaned a little as he shifted positions in the chair. I wondered how much longer he’d be able to sit there. My mother let out a huff of impatience at the noise my father had made. “I suppose we should just go on home for now so your dad can rest his back and Darin can get some rest too.”
“We just got here,” I growled at them.
Livvy’s eyes shifted between all of us, sensing the tension. It would probably be easier on everyone if I just took them back home and returned alone.
“Fine. I’ll take you two home and come back,” I stated.
“Well then, help me up, will you?” my dad said to me, extending out his hand for me to grab.
I sighed. What a pain in the ass my old man was turning out to be in his elder years. He was definitely a pure grump anymore. I’m sure my mom was having tons of fun putting up with him all the time. I pulled him into a standing position.
“Take care, Livvy dear,” my mother stated as she walked over and gave her a hug, my dad following behind her to lend her his support. She then turned to Darin and leaned over to kiss him on the forehead. “Take care, my boy,” she whispered, turning to head toward the door.
“I’ll be out in a minute,” I told them. I turned to Livvy then and looked in her worry-filled eyes. “Liv, why don’t you come with us?”
“What?” she asked.
“Just come with us back to my parents’ house for a little bit. You can grab a shower and eat some more. Then I’ll drive you back down here for the night. What do you say?”
“No,” she stated bluntly. “I can’t leave him, Shane. I just…can’t. Thank you for the offer, but if he wakes up, I would never forgive myself if I wasn’t here.”
I saw the sternness in her eyes. There was no way I was going to convince her. “Okay,” I whispered. “Call me if anything happens. That means you have to actually turn on your phone,” I teased. “I’m going to take my parents home and come directly back down here.” I kissed her on the head and glanced at my brother. “Don’t forget to eat. You have a baby to think about,” I reminded her.
She nodded and turned to sit back down next to Darin. I exited the room and saw my parents waiting for me beside a window. I put my finger up in the air gesturing for one more minute. I turned the opposite way down the hall and reached for my cell phone. I needed to hear Gwen’s voice. My insides were twisting within me. I watched the ICU doors slide open, then walked through.
“Hey, Shane,” I heard her finally say after the fourth ring. “How’s your brother?”
My heart ached to see her. It hadn’t even been that long but being this far away from her in miles made it that much more difficult. “Not real good. The doctor didn’t sound too optimistic.”
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry to hear that. What happened with him?” Gwen asked. Her voice was hushed, which meant she was at work. I knew she didn’t like being disturbed at work, but for me, she’d picked up. That really meant something.
I sighed and put my free hand on my hip. “His heart. Something about a misshaped artery. They went in to repair it, but he had a heart attack and he just isn’t recovering like he should be.”
“And your parents? How are they holding up?”
I turned around to stare at the ICU doors. They opened and out came my parents. They were watching me, impatiently I was sure. “Mom’s worried of course, but I’m not getting much emotion from them. Nothing new there, though. It’s Livvy I’m worried about. She’s not taking care of herself, and I doubt she’s going to without me hovering over her.”
“Well, then, it’s a good thing you’re there to help take care of everybody.”
I closed my eyes for a moment. “Gwen…”
“I’m here, Shane.”
There was that awful pain again stabbing me right between the ribs. This woman was so caring it was almost surreal. “I know it’s a long shot, but…any way at all you can come out here? I could really use you by my side right now.”
“Shane…”
“I know you can’t, but I just thought I’d ask one more time.”
“I feel terrible not being able to be there with you,” she whispered.
“No, no,” I said quickly. “Don’t worry about it. I know you have a business to run. I feel like an ass for even asking. I’ll be back in your arms before you know it.”
There was a moment’s silence on the other end. “I really wish I could be there with you. Please send my love to everyone.”
“Yeah, I will.”
And she hung up. I knew there were probably a hundred people around her listening to her conversation. She was never alone and always so busy when working. It hadn’t been fair of me to ask, but I couldn’t help it. It felt as if part of me was missing without her around. I put the phone back in my pocket and walked back to where my parents were now standing, anxious to get them back home so I could focus on whatever it was that I could do to get my brother back to health again.
FOUR
Livvy
It seemed like hours before Shane returned to the hospital. I just sat there watching and waiting for something miraculous to happen to Darin. The nurses constantly came in and out, different ones as they changed shifts, coming to check on my husband’s vitals only to tell me nothing had changed.
I needed a shower—badly. I felt so grimy, but I didn’t have a vehicle at the hospital, and it’s not like I wanted to leave even if I could. Shane had tried to convince me to come back to my in-laws’, but I had to stay with Darin. My legs were glued to this floor, only leaving for a few moments at a time to get some water or go to the bathroom.
I felt numb and extremely impatient. My thoughts kept going back to how things had been reversed before. I was the one lying there in the hospital bed not waking up, and Darin had been here by
my side. How very difficult this was for anyone knowing your entire life was wrapped up in the what-ifs, all the while praying and making deals with the man above for some miracle to happen so that you can have love and happiness within your grasps again.
I had had some of the best months of my life lately. Darin and I had renewed our vows. We were still living in that development but were making plans to get the house ready to sell soon so that we could buy a place with a little land for our little one to play on. We’d just been to the doctor’s and had a sonogram determining the sex was a boy. Darin had been thrilled, rambling off all the things he was going to teach him and all the sports they could go see together. Perfection. My life had truly grown back to perfection, and now my poor Darin was fighting an internal battle trying to come back to me and our son. It was torturous to have to sit here and wait for the unknown, and every time I felt that torture and wanted to scream out, I had to remember that Darin had been through the same hell. He’d gone through various stages of depression and found comfort in Violet. Just thinking about that woman made my skin crawl. But I understood why it had happened, I did. Violet didn’t matter in the scheme of things anyway. She meant nothing. She wasn’t here, and I was. That said it all.
“Nothing’s changed with him then?”
I turned to see Shane enter the room. He didn’t look as cheerful as before. Even his voice was full of melancholy. “No.”
He took a seat next to me and folded his hands between his nose and mouth while studying Darin. “Yeah, I figured as much since you didn’t call.”
I knew Shane was feeling the same exact impatience for his brother as I was.
“Have you eaten since breakfast?” he finally asked.
Always being the brother I never had and looking out for me. “No.”
“Livvy, you have to take care of yourself. You are pregnant for god’s sake,” Shane practically yelled.
I sighed. “Listen, Shane, I’m not looking for a lecture right now. I’ve been drinking water, and I’m fine. I’ll get some dinner in a little bit, but I’m fine. I’m staying here and that’s that.”
