Passion in Portland 2016 Anthology

by Anthology

  “It’s really no trouble. But,”—he stands and clears his throat—“I can’t sit here and look at you wearing next to nothing and keep my cool. I’ve already fucked up with you and I don’t want you to think I’m a complete Neanderthal.”

  “I don’t think that.” I stand with him and look around the empty space. Aside from some furniture, I really have nothing. “If you can give me a couple of minutes, I’ll change. I’d love to take you up on your offer.”

  “Of course. Take your time.”

  I jog upstairs to put on more clothes and gather my suitcase, then I stop in the bathroom to look at myself in the mirror. My long reddish-brown hair is tousled and my cheeks are still flushed. “Are you making a mistake?” I ask my reflection. But then I think back to my days in high school, and I remember him. He was always quiet, never said much, never caused trouble. He wasn’t picked on, but he didn’t have many friends, either.

  How fucked up am I that I didn’t recognize him? What kind of person was I that I was so preoccupied with myself that I didn’t notice the kid who sat behind me in homeroom for two years? Barry’s girlfriend. That’s why. That’s all I was the summer after my sophomore year until a year ago. I allowed a man to overshadow who I was, and it was almost too late before I realized it.

  I won’t think about him. I’ve moved on. He doesn’t matter anymore.

  Besides, I never went out and had a one night stand, I didn’t have a divorce party, so my spending the night with a guy isn’t the worst thing, right? Women do it all the time.

  Holding my head high, I shut off the lights as I make my way back to Alex. “I’m ready.”

  “Shall we?” He holds his elbow out, and I try not to act shocked at his chivalry.

  My arm joins his and I lock the door from the inside, then step onto the porch with him.

  “Where are your shoes?”

  “Oh, I stepped in dog shit and don’t have another pair packed.”

  “Yes.” He pauses. “You said that yesterday. I apologize for forgetting, otherwise I would have gotten you a pair.”

  “It’s fine, I can be bare—”

  He leans down and lifts me bridal style, and grabs my suitcase in the hand under my knees. “Alex, I can walk.” I laugh.

  “You’re not walking without something on your feet.”

  He takes me to his large black SUV, drops my suitcase, opens the passenger door, then sets me inside. When the vehicle starts without him inside yet, I gasp. He tosses my suitcase in the back and presses a button on the hatch that causes it to close on its own.

  By the time he finally gets in the vehicle, my ass is warm atop of the heated leather seat. “Fancy.” I motion around to the wooden accents and complicated computer screen in place of a regular radio.

  He shrugs but doesn’t answer, and by the time we arrive at the hotel, I’m greeted at my door by a bellhop who hands me a pair of slippers. When I turn over to roll my eyes at Alex, he’s shutting his door already. “Thank you,” I say to the elderly gentleman, who nods and scurries away.

  Another man greets Alex just as he’s coming around to my side. Alex holds his hand out for me and I take it, then hop onto the ground, my feet cushioned by memory foam. I wordlessly follow him to the elevator and when we arrive back on the penthouse floor, he finally lets go of my hand.

  “You’re more than welcome to stay with me. In fact, I’d love your company, but I understand if you’d rather go to your side.”

  “Can we watch a movie or something? Maybe order room service? I never ate dinner and I’m kind of hungry.”

  “Why didn’t you say something? Of course. What would you like?”

  “Oh, it’s fine. Not anything crazy, just some snacks. It’s late.”

  “Follow me.”

  I reach for his hand automatically, and his fist tightens around mine as he leads me through an even larger, more luxurious mansion than the one I stayed in last night.

  “Have a seat in here and scroll through the movies. I’ll order some food and change out of this suit.”

  “Sure.”

  A small hesitation halts his movements, then he leans forward and kisses my temple. “Be right back.”

  I cruise through the movies and a knock sounds on the door, but Alex still isn’t back yet. “Do you want me to get that?” I holler, but get no response. The knock sounds again, so I get up and open the door.

  “Ma’am.” The same man who brought me my spaghetti nods at me and I smile back.

  “Hey, again.”

  “Your suitcase and room service, ma’am.”

  “Okay, sure. Come in.”

  I follow him into the living room, where he lifts a tray off of the rolling cart and places it on the large glass table that sits the entire length of the black leather couch. He sets a bottle of iced champagne and two flutes down as well, then pushes the cart away and finally rolls my suitcase inside. “Would you like your suitcase in a certain room?”

  “No, thanks. I’ll just take it.”

  “Very well.”

  My stomach rumbles, and since Alex isn’t out yet, maybe I can shove some food in my mouth before he returns. When I lift the silver lid, it echoes around the large space. Every snack item I could think of is on here. Crackers, fruit, veggies, nuts, chocolate, sausage, and even olives and pickles. Definitely sustenance is needed, so I grab a few crackers and eat them quickly. Alex walks into the living room just as I’m realizing how difficult it is to swallow three crackers without water.

  I begin to choke and run to the kitchen where I spit half-eaten crackers out into the sink before I try to slurp down some water straight from the faucet.

  “Shit, Jo. You okay?” Alex’s warm hand rubs circles on my back and lightly pats it when I cough again.

  “Yep,” I wheeze out. “Just need a second.” Trying to be as inconspicuous as possible, I splash water on my mouth to make sure no cracker residue is left.

  I miss the handle as I blindly try to shut the water off. I feel his fingers wrap around mine and he uses both of our hands to push the lever down. A towel appears in front of my face and I wipe the water off, then finally turn to face him.

  “You sure you’re okay?” Wrinkles form between his eyes and the level of concern he shows makes my heart flutter.

  “Yes. Just embarrassed.” He follows me as I make my way back to the other room, and when I plop down on the couch, he sits right next to me. His leg rubs against mine, and it pisses me off that he’s wearing sweats. I want to feel his skin against mine.

  “Would you like something other than champagne?”

  “Alcohol sounds perfect.”

  A perfect pour later and he hands me a glass. “To your landlord for forgetting to leave a key.”

  The chime of our glasses clinking together is the only sound, and I shyly look away as I take a sip. This is definitely better than what I had yesterday. I can’t help the laugh that bursts out, but Alex isn’t amused.

  He sets his glass down and glares at me. “Is there something funny?”

  “No.” I shake my head and grab his wrist, which he yanks back. “Hey. I wasn’t laughing at you.”

  His chest heaves and I soften the tone of my voice. “I was thinking how much better this champagne is than the stuff I had last night. That I spilled on your back. That’s all.”

  He swallows and stands. “I’m sorry, Josey.” His quick but long strides take him out of the room in a few short seconds.

  “Fuck,” I whisper to myself and slam the rest of the champagne from my glass.

  I moved here to get away from the complications of a man, to remove myself from a toxic situation and for once in my life focus on me. Not only was the horrible trip down here not part of the plan, but meeting a man who is such a contradiction definitely wasn’t.

  What is it about him, though? Maybe part of it is that I remember him as a teenager. Sure, I never talked to him, but I remember him. And now, Jesus, now he’s this gorgeous man who should probably take up
a career in modeling, who makes me have butterflies in my stomach like I’m a teenager again. Even more than that, there’s something behind his eyes. There’s something dark and damaged and damn it, I want to be the one to fix him.

  Classy as I am, I pour a swig of champagne down my throat from the bottle and take off in search of him. This place is huge, and behind all seven doors that I’ve opened, the rooms have been devoid of Alex. A noise draws my attention to the end of the hallway, and I stop at the glass to watch him.

  An endless pool takes up most of the large room, the water pushing a wake against him as he swims. His long body moves in a perfect fluid motion, tension in his shoulders and back, the muscles tighten with every stroke.

  Without a sound I step into the room to find heated tile floors. My clothes fall to the floor and I’m left in only my bra and panties. I step to the end of the pool where his head is and try to slide in gracefully, only I slip on the edge, and not realizing how strong the current is, I’m pulled under the water.

  My life flashes before my eyes and I can’t believe this is how I’m going to die. Death by idiocy. I flail my arms and legs, my lungs burning as they lack oxygen. Suddenly I’m pulled out of the current and gasp for air once it hits me that I’m above water.

  “Fuck, Jo. Breathe.” Alex pushes the wet hair from my face and lifts my head up by my chin. “Relax, breathe.”

  Even though my hands are wet, I still use them to wipe the water away from my eyes. When my lids flutter open, Alex is the first thing I see. His lips pressed down in a hard line, the wrinkles between his eyes prominent—his tell that he’s worried.

  “I’m sorry.” I cough.

  “Why the fuck are you sorry? Jesus, Josey, you scared the shit out of me. Are you okay?” His hand rubs soothing circles on my back and I finally look around to find I’m straddling him on the steps of the pool.

  “I’m fine.”

  He leans towards me and kisses my forehead, then gently presses my head against his chest while his fingers run through my tangled hair. I wrap my arms around him and hold on, loving the feel of being in his arms. Cool water helps to calm me down and just as he hardens beneath me, he stands. Immediately I miss the warmth his body provides… the feelings I have toward him confusing me at an even faster pace.

  “Here.” He wraps me in a large fluffy white towel, and I don’t look away when he begins drying himself off with his own. As he’s scrubbing his hair, his neck twists and when our eyes connect, his lower jaw becomes slack and I lick my lips.

  A wordless minute later, he tosses his towel on the ground and sticks out his hand for me to take. He leads me out into the dark hallway and turns a corner, then motions for me to enter the room first.

  His bedroom is not what I was expecting. The white bedspread blends in with the white walls. He pulls the pale gray curtains to cover floor to ceiling windows. The bed and dressers are a beautiful natural oak color, just a shade lighter than the hardwood floors.

  “Come here.” He takes me to the attached bathroom that is just as bright as his bedroom.

  Steam begins to fill the large room and after he checks the temperature, he pulls me into the door-less shower. Just as I’m about to step under the spray, he tugs my towel and lets it fall. The warm water feels wonderful as it cascades down my body from four different jets.

  Strong fingers massage shampoo into my hair and I roll my shoulders to relieve some tension from my near death experience. When the flower smell hits me, I open my eyes to find his gaze on my chest. I clear my throat and he looks at me and shrugs. “You’re beautiful; I can’t help it.”

  “Is this your shampoo?”

  “No.”

  “Why do you have flowery shampoo?” The thought that he keeps this for women pisses me right off. I don’t have a say in his personal life and I don’t even know what we are, but still. I can’t help the cattiness from spewing out.

  “I had them bring it up for you.”

  Well now I feel stupid. “Oh.”

  He smiles and leans me back to rinse the suds out of my hair. “I’ll leave you so you can finish showering.”

  I want to tell him to wait, but logically I know I shouldn’t. He kisses my nose, then steps out and wraps a towel around his swim shorts before leaving. I push down my underwear and take off my bra, then wash quickly. Regretfully, I shut the spa shower off and wrap myself up in the softest towel known to man, then brush my teeth and dry my hair with the stuff that was set out on the countertop.

  By the time I make it back into his bedroom, Alex is sitting on the end of the bed in a pair of long gray pajama pants. And that’s it. He doesn’t even realize how sexy he is.

  “I set your suitcase right there.” He points to it sitting next to the dresser. “Do you need anything else before you go to sleep?”

  “No, thanks.”

  “Okay.” He stands and hesitates before taking a step toward the door. “Goodnight.”

  “Where are you going?”

  “To sleep in the other room.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. I already ruined tonight and I don’t want to make it worse by assuming you want to sleep next to me.”

  “I do, though.”

  His hands rest on his hips and he drops his head for a second before lifting it up again. “You tempt me, Josey. I’m not… I don’t think I can control myself if I’m in a bed with you. Don’t ask me to.”

  “I’m not asking you to.” I loosen the towel and let it slide down my naked body. “You tempt me too. I shouldn’t want you, but I do. I didn’t come to a whole new city running from one man only to fall into the arms of another. But sometimes things happen that we can’t explain, Alex.”

  He steps closer to me. “This isn’t just a casual thing for me Josey. I don’t do this.” He motions between the two of us. “I’m far too busy and I have so much shit on my plate right now that I’m not sure at the moment I could be the kind of man you deserve.” I try to talk but he shakes his head. “That doesn’t mean that I don’t want to try. That I wouldn’t make you a priority if the time was right. Shit, I’ve never done this before.”

  “You’re a virgin?” I cover my mouth as soon as the words leave it.

  He laughs and looks to the ceiling to catch his breath.

  “Oh my god, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to be rude; I just can’t believe that someone as hot as you and as rich as you has never…” Shut up, Josey.

  “No. I’m not a virgin. I’ve screwed women before. I’ve had sex with them. I’ve fucked them.”

  “Oh.”

  He reaches out and frames my face. “But I’ve never cared about one enough to make love to her. I’ve never shared my space with anyone. I’ve never left a business trip to be with one. I’ve never been around a woman who makes my chest hurt.”

  “I don’t want to hurt you.” I mimic him and hold his face. “You’ve been hurt enough already, haven’t you?”

  “Don’t, Josey.” The clipped words make me jump.

  “I’m sorry.” My thumbs rub across the smooth skin of his jaw before I drop my hand. “What are we doing?”

  His nonresponse is all the answer I need.

  “I get it. There will be no hard feelings. Let’s just have tonight.”

  “I don’t know if I can do it, Jo. It’s not fair to you.”

  “What’s not fair?”

  He stabs himself in the chest. “Me.”

  “Why?”

  “There are things going on in my life right now that I can barely handle. And fuck, I want to get lost in you and have you take it all away. There’s a part of me that thinks I could do it, that we would be so fucking good together. But I also don’t want to make promises I can’t keep. I don’t want to hurt you. And I don’t want you to think I’m using you.”

  “I don’t mind.” I move to the bed and lie down then spread my legs.

  His sweat pants tent in the front and he scrubs his hands down hi
s face. “Damn it.”

  “It’s okay, Alex. I don’t need the complications of a relationship either. I’m trying to get a fresh start over here in Portland, but there’s something between us. Can’t we just enjoy tonight and not worry about tomorrow?”

  He crawls up the bed and settles between my legs. “Are you sure?”

  “Yes. I’m positive.”

  His head falls and rests between my breasts. The soft breaths from his mouth become heavier, and his tongue snakes out and flicks at my nipple. “Fuck, Josey. I want you so bad.”

  “So take me.”

  A rumble sounds in his throat before he sits up and pulls his sweats off, kicking them onto the floor. I lean up to meet him as he’s coming back down to me and our lips fuse together. My entire body tingles from the contact of his tongue against mine, neither fighting for control, rather seeking acceptance. My hands grab at him, squeezing and tugging, desperate to get him closer.

  His dick bobs against my thigh, the wet tip seeking entrance already. I raise my hips, but he pushes them down with a hand and pulls away from my mouth. “Let me make you come first.”

  “I already did.”

  “That was hours ago.”

  He begins to make his descent down my body, his lips kissing and sucking across my collarbone and his hands kneading and sliding between my breasts and down my side. “I didn’t get to take my time earlier, and I want to kiss every single inch of your skin before I take you.”

  Who am I to argue? It’s not like I could anyways, because he spreads me open and twirls my wetness around with his finger, then sucks it into his mouth. “Just needed a snack to hold me over.”

  I pant and try to ask him what he’s talking about, but he begins kissing down my thigh and makes good on his promise to kiss every inch of me. Unhurried, his mouth worships my body, lifting my leg to pay attention to the skin that I didn’t even realize was sensitive, right below where my butt meets the back of my thigh.

  “Oh, my god, Alex.” I squirm beneath him, not sure how much more I can take, when he lowers my leg and lifts the other to give it the same treatment. “You have to stop.”