Passion in Portland 2016 Anthology

by Anthology

  “Okay, you don’t have to tell me your life before we even go on our first date, but if you want to tell me I’m all ears. I don’t think you can tell me anything that will scare me away.”

  Famous last words. A lot of people say things like that until they hear what you have to say, then they bail on you—maybe not right away, but it’s somewhere in the near future.

  “Careful what you say, doc.” I shoot over my shoulder as I walk into the kitchen to get a vase and water for these gorgeous flowers.

  “As I told you earlier, beautiful, I never go back on promises. My word is as good as a promise.”

  If only I could believe that. It's hard because Caleb always lied, and I know that was the alcoholic in him, but it’s ruined my trust in people. “It’ll take me some getting used to but I’ll try to remember that you mean what you say. Oh, where are my manners? Can I get you something to drink?”

  “No, I’m good for now,” he says as he follows me into the kitchen. “We have a reservation at eight. Should I call and make it for a little later?”

  “I hate making you have to do that, but I don’t think I’d be a great company if we didn’t talk first.”

  “Then it’s a done deal. I’ll make the call now.”

  I take a deep breath as I finish putting the flowers in the vase. Now it’s time to have a difficult discussion—one that’s going to be hard on me, and one that I hope Brad can handle. I know some men don’t want to date a divorced woman. I can only hope that he doesn’t care.

  “Hey, don’t look so sad, beautiful.”

  I love that he calls me beautiful because even though I don’t feel beautiful, I love that he thinks I am. Hopefully one day I'll believe him. “Let’s go into the living room where we can get comfortable.

  Once we both sit, me on the couch and Brad in the chair across from me, I begin. “It’s been a long and taxing afternoon.” I sigh. “I should probably start from the beginning. So be prepared for a long story.” I proceed to tell him how I met my ex in high school and that we married before leaving for college, how he started drinking a lot and wouldn’t quit. By the time I get to telling him about Hawaii he keeps opening his mouth like he wants to talk, but remains quiet, waiting to hear the rest before he says anything.

  “So the day I arrived in Hawaii, I’d just signed my divorce papers. The relationship was over a year before that, but divorces don’t happen overnight. I was expecting it to be a sad trip, but I found joy in living again and not having to worry about someone else. I’d lived the past eight years worrying about Caleb and his drinking. It was nice to know that I didn’t have to worry about what someone else was doing. Then you came along and opened my eyes to something I wasn’t expecting to ever find. You made me realize there are still good guys out there that’ll put others before themselves. You treated me like a lady. Like I was something special.” I stop and take a deep breath before I relive Caleb’s afternoon visit.

  Brad walks over and sits next to me then grabs my hand and brings it up to his lips, “All women should be treated like ladies and like they are the most special person in the world. I wouldn’t change a thing about us meeting.”

  Aw, swoon.

  “Thanks. But now the hard part comes. The reason for my depressing mood today. This afternoon Caleb showed up and barged into the house. He wants to get back together. Says he’s changed and doesn’t drink anymore. I don’t believe him and don’t want him back, but it’s hard to see the man I loved and thought I’d grow old with pleading with me. He’s always been a big part of my life. It’s hard to say goodbye to your past, and he isn’t making it easier by holding on to something that isn’t there anymore. I know this has to be hard for you to hear, but know that he won’t ever be back in my life. I have feelings I don’t even know how to describe for you. I know we just met the other day, but I want to continue exploring what can be between us. I understand that you may be hesitant and not want to be with someone who's been divorced. This is why I wanted to tell you before things progressed any farther. I don’t want to hurt you, and I don’t want to have my heart broken again.”

  “Hearing your life story doesn’t change the feelings I’m experiencing right now. I want to continue exploring us. I know that you need to explore “you” though. You can’t go from one long-term relationship to another. I understand you need to do things for yourself. You need to take time and do the things you've always wanted to do. If you want me to be a part of your life, I’m here for you.”

  What an amazing man I’ve found. Is he real? Without letting him say more I lean in and kiss him. It’s a slow, sensual kiss. One that says I’m ready to take it to the next step and explore us as a couple. Once I end the kiss I ask, “You ready to feed me now?”

  “Anything for you, beautiful. Let's go.”

  Once we get out front, I’m looking around for his Kia Soul, but I don’t see it so he must have had to park a ways away and walk. “Lead the way to your car.”

  He gets a huge shit-eating grin on his face and I have no idea why because I didn’t say anything funny. He walks toward a midnight blue Mustang convertible.

  “Holy shit. A fucking 1967 Mustang Shelby GT500 Eleanor. I’ve got to be fucking seeing things. No way is this your car,” I say as my mouth drops open. Drooling over a car—how sexy can that be, Marissa?

  “Are you saying because I drive a Kia I can’t have a cool car?” he asks with a frown.

  “I just assumed that you only had the Kia. You’d think I’d learn my lesson not to judge you. I never would have guessed that you’d be driving my dream car. I’ve wanted this car since I was old enough to drive. ” This guy couldn’t possibly be any more perfect. “Is there any way you’d ever let me take her for a drive?”

  “We’ll have to see about that. No one gets to drive her, but me. I may be persuaded though,” he says with a wink as he opens my door.

  Holy shit, I’m going to have a cargasm on the drive to the restaurant. “I’d do just about anything to take her for a spin. I may have to marry you for your car,” I say jokingly, but I don’t think I am kidding.

  “At least I know the way to your heart. A car.” He laughs.

  “Not just ‘a car’ only this car will do. I’m not that easy.” I laugh with him.

  I can’t wait to see where he’s taking me. I’m a simple girl; I don’t need fancy. “Is it a secret where we’re going for dinner?”

  “No, but you didn’t ask so I didn’t tell you. Would you like to know?”

  “Please.”

  “I’m taking you to my house. I have an amazing place on the lake, and my chef will come in and cook for us. We’ll eat on the deck then sit out on a blanket and talk and watch the stars.”

  “Sounds perfect. Hopefully the chef didn’t mind you holding up plans. I feel bad about that.”

  “Don’t feel bad. She has no issue with staying late. She’s thrilled to be finally cooking for a guest and me.”

  So that must mean he doesn’t have a lot of company of the female variety over for dinner.

  “Glad I could make her happy for you.”

  “I should warn you though…” he says, “she’ll probably grill you and start planning our wedding.”

  “Oh my god, you’re taking me to meet your mom on our first date? Isn’t that usually reserved for a date later into the relationship?” I can’t believe he didn’t tell me this earlier. I can’t meet his mom. What if she doesn't like me? Could I come between Brad and his mom? Oh shit, what am I going to do?

  “Breathe, beautiful. It’s going to be all right. Nothing about us is at a normal pace. She won’t be around much because she’ll be in the kitchen finishing up the food and then she’ll leave us be. I didn’t mean to freak you out about meeting her. She’s a nice person and only wants to see me happy.”

  “Sorry, I don’t want to let anyone down. I've had a lot of disappointments in my life, and I know how it feels. I don’t know what you expect out of us, but I’m hoping after tonigh
t we’ll know more about where this is heading. Either Hawaii was a fluke or this is the real deal. I never believed in insta-love, but I’m beginning to think that my romance novels get it right sometimes.” I didn’t just use the “L” word did I? Crap. He doesn’t need to know that I’m falling for him. I don’t even want to admit that to myself because I haven’t known him that long. I could just be infatuated with him. Right?

  “Why are you freaking out over this? Tonight will definitely be a step in the right direction.”

  I hope so. I want to be happy. I deserve it after all the years of pain I went through. “I’m so new to all this that I don’t know when you should say things and when you shouldn’t. I want to be who I am and I feel like I can with you, but sometimes I doubt myself because my husband would get pissed if I said certain things. Sorry.”

  “Don’t be sorry. You can’t control how people will react to what you say, but know that I always want you to be true to yourself. That’s what attracted me to you. In the bar when I asked if the seat was available and you replied with ‘it is now,’ I knew you were a woman who spoke her mind. That’s what I want. Don’t be intimidated to say what you think and feel.”

  “I can do that. Let's head inside. I think your mom is peeking through the window wondering what we’re doing sitting in the car.”

  “She can keep wondering then,” he says giving no warning as he pulls me to him then kisses me. It isn’t slow like earlier. This is hot and promising of the pleasure to come later.

  “Fuck,” I mutter pulling away.

  “I love hear you say fuck all breathy like that. We should really go inside now,” he says as he adjusts himself in his pants.

  I love that I have this effect on him.

  “Lead the way, doc.”

  His mother meets us at the door and slaps Brad upside the head. “I taught you better manners than to grope girls in your driveway. At least feed her first.”

  “Really mom? How do you know she didn’t have me for dinner?”

  “Brad,” I say.

  “Bradley,” she shouts at the same time.

  “Oh that was priceless. You should see your faces.” He bends over from laughing so hard.

  “Oh just you wait. Paybacks are a bitch,” I whisper as I walk by him as his mom leads me into the kitchen.

  “Since my son seems to have no manners, I’m Elsie and it’s a pleasure meeting you,” she says with a big smile on her face.

  “Hello Elsie, I’m Marissa and it’s nice to meet you also.” I smile back because it seems to be contagious.

  “So my son tells me you met in Hawaii. Is that right?”

  “Mom, I told you not to grill her. I don’t want you scaring her away,” Brad says from where he’s perched against the entryway.

  “Oh hush, I’m not going to scare her away. Any girl who says you mean anything to her will deal with a few questions from your mom.”

  “Brad, it’s okay,” I say to him then look at his mom. “We did meet in Hawaii. You raised a true gentleman.”

  “Mom, we’re going out to the deck and eat dinner, now. Sorry to steal my girl away, but I want some time with her.” Grabbing my hand, he leads me outside.

  “That was kind of rude. She was only trying to see if I’m good for you. But thank you for saving me from the one hundred and one questions.”

  “I know, but I want you to myself tonight. I don’t want to share you.”

  Well that’s good because I don’t really want to share him either. I’m scared at how fast I’m falling, but I know I can’t stop it.

  In the center of the deck is a table set up for the two with the food on the table in warming trays.

  “This is beautiful. You didn’t have to go through all this trouble for me.”

  “It was no trouble at all. I want you to have a nice relaxing night. No drama, no exes, just us,” he says as he holds out my chair for me.

  “Sounds like a plan. Oh, is that a hot tub? Wish I would have known, I would have brought a suit,” I sigh, wishing I had hot tub at home. I love relaxing in them.

  “I didn’t know if you’d feel comfortable getting in. I should have asked though. Sorry.”

  “No worries, there's always next time.” Anyways, I’m not sure it's a good idea to go in the hot tub with his mother here. I don’t want her to think poorly of me.

  “So does your mother live here with you? Earlier, you said she didn’t mind staying late.”

  “She lives on the property, but she has her own house. She only does house cleaning and cooking for me. She insists I let her do it rather than hire someone I don’t know to do it. Which makes sense, but makes it hard when I need time to decompress. I don’t like to be rude to her and tell her to go home, but sometimes I need quiet time.”

  “I think it’s awesome that you have a great relationship with your mom. Not a lot of people do. Do you mind if I ask about your dad?” I ask as I take a bite of the delicious lasagna his mother made us.

  “He passed away when I was sixteen of pancreatic cancer. He’s the main reason I chose oncology. I’ve always wanted to be a doctor and I was leaning towards cardiology, but watching him go through his cancer treatments made me want to help people with cancer. I feel that I can relate to most because I lost my father to cancer.”

  “Oh no, I’m so sorry that you had to go through that at such a young age. I know what it’s like to have a parent with cancer. My mom had breast cancer, but has been in remission for almost eight years, and my Dad’s getting ready to start chemo for lung cancer for the fourth time. It really sucks watching cancer slowly take away their energy. Since the last cancer bout, my dad hasn’t been the same. He doesn’t have energy and can’t eat much. I’m worried about how he’ll handle chemo this time. I’m hoping he won’t have to go in for surgery because that’s what took such a big toll on him last time. He had part of his esophagus removed and his stomach moved up. Oh my, I’m so sorry I just turned this conversation into me. What a shitty thing to do.“ What an idiot. Make him think you’re self-centered.

  “Hey, don’t worry. It’s actually good that we have this in common because talking to people who’ve never experienced this before is tough. They don’t know what we’re going through.” He leans over the table and grabs my hand. “Don't ever feel bad for sharing things with me. I know you’re coming from a good place and you aren’t trying to seek attention from me.”

  Thank god he doesn’t think I’m an attention-seeking bitch. “Thank you for saying that. I was over here worried that you were going to send me packing.”

  “No, it’d take more than that to make me send you on your way. It’s nice to know that we have some things in common. So where is your dad getting his treatment done?” he says as he finishes his plate.

  “He’s going to Southwest Washington Medical Center. He’s been with this doctor for years and they dealt with his last round of cancer.”

  “He’s in good hands. They have some amazing doctors over there.”

  “Thanks for saying that. I know that they’re good. I’ve met a few of them. I’ve only been to a couple of his appointments because finding the time is hard, but I have a big family so usually someone is there to be with my mom. It sucks that I can’t always be there. I wish I could.”

  “Hey don’t feel too bad. You have a life to live too. You can’t stop living it to be with him all the time. You have to think positive and you need breaks from all the stress of it also.”

  “I know. I just hate feeling like I’m not a good daughter. I know shouldn’t feel that way, but my siblings who are there for everything are always calling me out for rarely showing up to things.” This isn’t where I saw our night heading. I don’t want a pity party. I need to change the subject. “So do you have any siblings?”

  “I have one sister, but she lives back in Wisconsin and I rarely see her. She’s busy with work and I rarely take time off. Hopefully that’s going to change soon.”

  Glad he took the hint and let
the conversation drop. I’m not ready to discuss my feelings of being on the outside when it comes to my family. It’s a bitter subject. While I love my family, I sometimes feel like the black sheep. “That’s a shame you don’t see your sister much. I’m hoping that you can find a happy medium with work and family one day soon.”

  “I think with the right incentive it’ll be easy. When you really want something you make time for it.”

  “Do you always know the right thing to say to make me swoon?”

  “I’m not trying to make you swoon. I’m being honest. I know it may seem unreal and fast, but I’m falling for you. I’m scared by my feelings, but at the same time I don’t want to let you walk away and possibly lose my chance at a happy life.”

  Glad we are both done eating because I don’t want to waste another minute on talking, I lean over and kiss him. It’s slow, and sexy. I don’t want to move anything along too fast tonight. I want slow and sweet. We will have plenty of time for hard and fast, but that’s not how I want my first time with him to be.

  Brad pulls out of the kiss like he doesn’t want to end it. “If we don’t stop now, this is going to lead somewhere I don’t know if you’re ready to go, and our first time shouldn’t be on my deck. I want it to be somewhere a little more comfortable where I can take my time with you.”

  “I’m ready for something more. I know it seems crazy to want this already, but I feel like I’ve known you for years. I’m ready to move on to the next step with you.”

  Slowly, Brad stands pulling me up with him. He doesn’t let go of my hand once we’re walking into the house. But he does bring my hand to his mouth and kisses each knuckle before dropping our hands down to our side.

  “Where are you taking me? Let's go wherever it is, now.”

  “Patience love. We have all night. That is unless you have other plans for your night.”

  “No, I’m just nervous and excited. Plus, I’m not a very patient person when it comes to things I want.”