Passion in Portland 2016 Anthology

by Anthology

Mourned me.

  And now, beseeching me, was falling in love with me again.

  And I, her guardian, had allowed her to believe I remembered.

  Had gone along with her memories as if they were also mine.

  Then her memories became mine.

  I want you with me for all of eternity.

  Not the words I intended to say. Part of them, yes, but alone they held a far different weight than when packaged as a whole.

  And I, the impenetrable angel, the stalwart holdout of the seven, had her face in my hands. Her eyes burned holes in my soul.

  How, I ask?

  The assessment was done, but oh, how I’d faltered on the other tenants.

  Observe, but beware of intruding. I’d come into her life, confused her with memories I, as yet, did not understand.

  Guide, but beware of influencing. I’d led her to believe in that which her heart wanted most. In doing so, I had devalued my purpose.

  Autumn pressed me into the satin of her bed, falling over me. Her tears showered small drops across my bare chest.

  “I can’t believe you’re back,” she whispered. Heaviness saturated her words, the kind which accompanied compartmentalized pain. “You’ve come back for me.”

  “Autumn,” I sighed.

  Protect, but beware of domination.

  I tangled my hands in her dark hair, watching as the moon caught the strands and turned them purple. Her hand snaked down between us and her head fell back as she pulled me inside her.

  “You’re here,” she said again, rocking atop me to the rhythm of her own tortured memories, coming back to her in the form of atonement.

  I flipped her over, no longer simply going along with the ruse to pacify her. I craved the solace of what she offered… all of her. Every last drop. Every corner. Dark and light. She was mine. Mine. Mine. Mine.

  Love, but beware of attachment.

  And this, the moment of joining, the completion of two souls, was the reason the seven archangels were directed never to pursue affections for our acolytes, no matter the potency. Other ways existed. To give in, the loss of ourselves was almost certain. The cost too great, after all we’d worked for. Centuries of work, lost.

  Our own care left abandoned.

  Eleven – Autumn

  Gabriel asked me to leave with him.

  I hesitated only briefly before I said yes. I didn’t require all the answers. Maybe I should have, but I didn’t. I was unwilling to lose him again, no matter the cost.

  He didn’t tell me where we were headed. Said he couldn’t, and I believed him, an understanding that kept me alive after he left me the first time. A belief in him, that was.

  My only sadness was we would not be leaving right away. He wanted me to finish what I’d started in Portland. You leave no unfinished business, had been his exact words, and perhaps he saw regret in me later, but he wouldn’t allow argument on this point. I will come back for you. Finish your school. Return to your beloved home and spend time with your mother and brother. You may not ever see them again. Can you live with that?

  I said yes again without hesitation. I loved him that much.

  How, after all he’d done?

  Anyone who had walked a day in my shoes would understand. The pale, scraggly girl with no friends and abilities that scared her to death. A child who had lost her father before ever meeting him. Lost the triplet brother in a horrendous, preventable accident when she was too far away to help. The young woman who had loved only one man… one who had given her all the things life had taken away.

  Yes, you would go, too. Leave it all behind.

  I don’t expect anyone to understand. Aidan wouldn’t… though he’d try. My mother most certainly would not.

  Which was why, in the end, it would be easier for them to believe I’d simply vanished.

  Gabriel had started a fire in the brick hearth, something I’d not done in the two years I lived there.

  “I guess that works,” I joked.

  “I have to go soon,” he replied without looking back. Something in his demeanor had changed. I couldn’t read him from behind.

  “What is it?”

  He stood, setting the poker back in the holder. He turned to look at me. His eyes were blue fire. “We shouldn’t have done that.”

  My whole spirit sank. I had no words for such a terrible confession.

  “But we did,” he went on. “And now there is no going back. When we’re somewhere safe, I’ll explain everything. But know that, with what we did in there, we no longer have a way to go back to the moment before it was real. Before we were real. Forgive me, Autumn, but I’ve taken the choice from you.”

  “My choice?” I recoiled. “That option has always been to be with you. Always! You act like making love to me was repulsive, or a sin. I waited years to be with you and never gave up hope you would come back to me. Never!”

  “I know.” Before I could register the change in the air, Gabriel’s arms were around me, his lips atop my head. “I only meant that I had a responsibility to protect you. Not only from the world, but from myself, and my own weaknesses.”

  “Loving is not a weakness.”

  “It is for me, Autumn. And now I’ve compromised us both.”

  “So, what? You don’t want me to come with you anymore?”

  Gabriel lowered his face to mine. His breath smelled sweet, like fresh honey. “The exact opposite is true, Autumn. If I were to leave you for long, I would wither away. That’s the choice I made, back in your bedroom, and it has lasting implications for both of us. We’re now a part of each other, in a way you can only begin to understand. For better or worse.”

  “I can deal with anything, Gabriel. Anything, with you.”

  He pressed his lips to mine, a lingering softness that stole my energy. “I will return.”

  When I opened my eyes, he was gone.

  Twelve – Gabriel

  Could there be a future for us in the Order? It was not a matter of attempting to be covert about what we’d done. No secrets existed amongst the Seven, even secrets worth keeping.

  Or so I thought.

  Upon my return, I waited patiently for the day I would return to Autumn, bringing her with me, my last and final acolyte. So very much more than that now, due to a single moment of weakness.

  Then Raphael returned.

  Once an archangel had assembled his seven acolytes, his departure from the monastery was swift, and he did not return. Imagine my shock, then, to see him standing before me.

  He held his hands in front, eyes sad. “What have you done, brother?”

  “So you know?” I answered. “Well, it is done. And I will not walk away from her to prove my mettle.”

  Raphael approached me slowly. “You know not what you’ve done, brother. There was a reason I did not choose Autumn for my cavalry.”

  I bristled. “Oh? You left no guidance on the matter.”

  He shook his head and knelt in front of me. His eyes beseeched me. His words would haunt me forever.

  “It was I who visited Autumn all those many years.

  “I who watched over her.

  “I who guided her.

  “And I who loved her.”

  I started. “You? How is that possible?”

  Raphael smiled sadly. “Look in the mirror, brother. We are all so much alike. Is it so strange she might mistake one for the other?”

  “No,” I said, backing away. “No.”

  “I walked away from him because I loved her. A love that crippled me and prevented me from following the tenants of the Order as I vowed to do.”

  “No…”

  “And now you have taken her and made her yours,” Raphael accused. His tone was less harsh than I deserved. I had let her believe it was me, myself believing perhaps she was a prophet and saw what I did not. I never imagined… never dreamed…

  “Why did you not tell me?”

  “To speak of it would be to enhance the sin,” he answered. “To walk awa
y, without a trace of what I’d left, was the only way. Did I think you might see what lay within her and recruit her to your cavalry? Perhaps, yes. It’s rather hard to miss it. But I never dreamed of an ending such as this. I did not expect this deception from you.”

  The shock of this revelation left me tingling from scalp to toes. It was Raphael who loved Autumn, and her in return. What I had done was not only a violation of our own tenants but of my very brotherhood.

  A crime I could not ever take back.

  I trembled before him. “How do I make this right?”

  “Your atonement is not mine to give,” Raphael answered. He backed away from me, toward the door. “I know this only: You cannot undo what you’ve done. You cannot go back. There is only forward from here.”

  “What happened between Autumn and me is not one-sided,” I said, more to myself. “I’ve never known anything like this, in all my wandering, brother. Not ever.”

  “Neither had I,” he answered. Sadness hung over him. “But perhaps you are the stronger of the two of us. I could not bear the weight of forsaking my vows. You, by contrast, could not bear the weight of never having loved.”

  “I do love her,” I said, true words, I believed, even before I’d consummated that love. The moment I’d laid eyes on her, the magnetic pull of Autumn Anabella Sullivan drew me into a world I’d never asked for and never known.

  “I see that,” Raphael said as he approached the door. “And now you must work to be worthy of her.”

  And I would.

  I would bring her into my cavalry as an extension of me, for that was true, for better or worse.

  Autumn. I’m coming.

  THE EPHEMERAL is a bonus standalone story in the House of Crimson & Clover saga. To start this series from the beginning, pick up the prequel, THE STORM AND THE DARKNESS.

  About the Author

  Sarah is the USA Today Bestselling Author of the Paranormal Southern Gothic series, The House of Crimson & Clover, born of her combined passion for New Orleans, family sagas, and the mysterious complexity of human nature. Her work has been described as rich, emotive, and highly dimensional.

  An unabashed geek, Sarah enjoys studying subjects like the Plantagenet and Ptolemaic dynasties, and settling debates on provocative Tolkien topics such as why the Great Eagles are not Gandalf's personal taxi service. Passionate about travel, Sarah has visited over twenty countries collecting sparks of inspiration (though New Orleans is where her heart rests). She's a self-professed expert at crafting original songs to sing to her very patient pets, and a seasoned professional at finding ways to humiliate herself (bonus points if it happens in public). When at home in Oregon, her husband and best friend, James, is very kind about indulging her love of fast German cars and expensive lattes.

  Connect with Sarah:

  Official Website: http://www.sarahmcradit.com

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  Amazon Author Page: http://www.amazon.com/Sarah-M.-Cradit/e/B005SY05BM

  We Have Portland – Sidonia Rose

  Chapter 1

  Posey

  Gag.

  Keeping my eyes on the road is even harder to do when I hear giggling from the backseat. We’re barely out of the city, and I mean I can still see the city in my mirrors. Molly is the only one back there, I know this because I had to push Jimmy away from the car myself, or he would be in the backseat with her.

  A heavy sigh is followed up with a breathy, “I love you so much.”

  Gag!

  It’s impossible to sit here and not gag right now. Reaching up I reposition the rearview mirror to see Molly. She has a huge grin on her face, and she doesn’t look like she has any intention of ending her phone call any time soon. The story is always the same with her. We plan a killer girl’s weekend, and she’s too busy missing her boyfriend to enjoy herself.

  Don’t get me wrong, Jimmy, her boyfriend is great. I couldn’t love the guy more if he was my own boyfriend. Gross, and so weird! It would never happen, I would never date Jimmy. He’s like the perfect man though; I don’t think there’s anything he can’t do. He’s a chef, so he has the cooking thing covered. He picks up after himself, which is important to me since he’s also one of my roommates. The only real problem I have with him is his need to pick-up and move. That’s right, he’s accepted a new job at some fancy restaurant in Chicago, and he’s taking Molly with him. She’s excited about it though, she gets to move home closer to family.

  Again with the kissing noises.

  Gag.

  It’s bad enough to live with the blissfully in love couple; I shouldn’t have to listen to it for girls’ weekend too. If only she would have forgotten her phone at home.

  “It’s music time!” I’m trying to sound upbeat and also get her attention. A quick glance in the mirror and she’s obviously ignoring me. I use the finger controls on the steering wheel to hold the volume button letting the music blast for a minute, before I roll my finger to turn it back down. I’m anxious to let loose and have a good time.

  Slowing down as we turn a bend, there’s a lot of traffic out today. I guess we aren’t the only ones escaping the city for the weekend. Molly continues with her conversation, it’s like she’s ignoring me back there. Sitting opposite me up front is Tabby; this is her first girls’ weekend with us as we only met her a few months back. She has to be ignoring Molly because she’s humming as she knits something that is going to be a neon yellow. Tabby thinks it’s quite normal to sit down anywhere and knit, she’s always making something new. I can’t keep up with her projects but I ask anyway. “What are you making Tabby?”

  Her fingers are still moving but at least she stops humming. She looks over at me to answer. “I’m trying out these cup cozies. I saw them on Pinterest and thought I could make some. I might add them to the Etsy store next week.”

  “I thought we agreed no working this weekend?”

  It’s a minor detail, but we all agreed this would be a fun weekend, which means no working. We also agreed to leave boyfriends behind, that’s only difficult for one of us. Tabby’s relationship status has always been complicated for at least as long as we’ve known her, probably longer. Molly and Jimmy are most likely getting married next year, but she still agreed to leave him behind this weekend. For me, I’d have to have a boyfriend to leave one behind.

  The truth is I love being single. I don’t need to have a boyfriend, a friend with benefits guy, or anyone that just hangs on endlessly. This way I don’t have to answer to anyone, I can do whatever I want, and if I find Mr. Right Now I’m all set.

  Of course, Mr. Right Now has been a little elusive the last few months. It isn’t like I haven’t been looking; I mean I haven’t exactly been scouring the city for him either. I’m not foolish enough to be looking solely for love of course, I mean is that even possible?

  Sure there are some people that fall in love and live happily-ever-after. My parents for example, they claim that love at first sight is out there. Sure it’s out there, but can it last? I’ve told my parents that they are still in love after all these years because of their great kids, namely me. I mean without us where would they be? Then there is my brother, Nick, he seems to have found that special someone with his girlfriend Kyle. He goes on and on, sure whatever. Then there are my friends, Tabby is too scared to make the commitment, her boyfriend isn’t a great catch but he’s a decent guy. Molly found the perfect guy, so it shouldn’t really count, but they will most likely get their HEA. I’m still stuck on the catch and release program.

  It’s not a bad program; I’d even recommend it over being in a boring relationship. I did that once, the boring relationship that is. I met him on a Tuesday; it was all rainbows and butterflies. Saturday rolled around, and we did t
he same thing every other college student was doing, we went to a party. That worked out well, we even went home together. Of course by Monday he was already checking out the scenery, so by Friday I was done. It was time to release him.

  After that I joined the catch and release program and I haven’t look back since. It’s simple. It’s easy. It’s for me.

  Shaking me from my own thoughts, Molly calls out to me, “Posey you just don’t understand.”

  Looking into the rearview mirror my eyes meet hers in a challenge. I’m not difficult on purpose; it’s just the name that brings me down. My family never understood, especially my mother and she’s the one that gave it to me. I’m not ready to be responsible yet, I want to have my own dreams and live on my own terms. At least for now.

  “You agreed.” I shift my gaze from Tabby to the mirror to look at Molly. They did agree to this, so I remind them. “You both agreed to call me Heather this weekend. I don’t want to hear the name Posey all weekend.” Molly stares back at me defiantly and grins. “Promise?”

  Tabby is never on board with anything, she agreed but it wasn’t really a promise. I’m grateful to hear her agree; even a mumble is good enough, as she continues to knit. Behind us Molly argues, “You should just tell him your name. He won’t care, he’s a ...”

  “So what if he cares!” I can hope he wouldn’t care, but the chances of him recognizing my family name is pretty good. “I’m Heather and that’s final.”

  This is the same conversation I’ve been having with Molly for the last two years. It took me a long time to establish myself as Heather Richards; I’m even using it at work so there’s no need to throw mud in the water over this.

  Her hand rests on my shoulder and I know that’s her way of reassuring me, but I don’t want reassured right now. I don’t look back in the mirror; I keep my focus on the road ahead.