Passion in Portland 2016 Anthology
Page 70
After making me wait for what feels like an eternity she finally shrugs, “It’s a pretty name. It doesn’t really matter though.”
As she sets aside her cup I carry a plate to her offering the toast. She told me weeks ago that she wanted toast this morning, something about a scene from a movie with toast. I’m probably doing it wrong, but I remembered to bring her toast that should count.
She sets aside the dish without even looking at the toast. She looks around and finally pulls her feet up to hug her knees close to her chest. “It’s not just you. Most everyone calls me Heather, it’s a nickname and sometimes it’s easier to be Heather than it is to be Posey.”
I check the time on my phone; the hours I had left are disappearing quickly. There isn’t enough time to deal with this and make it right, if she wants this then there has to be a way around it all. I tell her the truth, “The bus is leaving soon.”
She only nods.
“I looked up your real name. I looked up Posey Richards. On the phone last night, that was your brother Nick?”
Again she nods.
“So then your father owns…”
Standing quickly she cuts me off like I’m about give away national secrets. She becomes a flurry of activity as she brushes away my questions. “Yes, yes that’s my family. I think we have other things to discuss, or really there isn’t any point to, to, to this.”
She motions between us as she looks for the words. Is there a point to this? To us?
In her usual style she starts talking. I listen as she tells me exactly what I already know about the girl I call Heather Richards. She doesn’t mention her real name again, she doesn’t even pretend that there’s anything else I need to know.
It’s been a long night, I’m tired and I probably drank too much before I came back to her. She’s had her say; she needs to let me have mine now.
“I don’t know what to say about all of this, I know I was wrong when I left earlier. I should have stayed or listened maybe.” I’m out of words, what else can I tell her. My frustration boils over, she’s so damn beautiful I want to forget the rules and just start over. “I know they call you Heather at work, but where you ever going to tell me who you are?”
She leads me by the hand to sit close to her. If this was a minor thing we could brush it away, leaving us plenty of time to make-up before I have to leave.
“I know I should have told you. Molly was really pushing me to tell you, but it never seemed like the right time. I don’t know why I started it, but even as a kid I would make people call me something other than my given name. Maybe we can find a way to start over?”
Starting over means throwing away what we have. I like what we have, truthfully I would like a little more of it.
Asking for a compromise is never easy, but offering one seems like the natural thing to do. “Maybe you would consider being my plus one for my sister’s wedding?”
Her laughter is like music to me, I could listen to it all day. I extend my hand to her; this is me offering her a compromise. “Hi, I’m Tommy Kelly the drummer for the band Five Myle Fools. What’s your name?”
Wrapping her hand into mine I watch as she looks first at our hands, then I see the glow in her eyes and the smile on her face as she looks up, “Hi, Posey Richards, I’m just figuring out what I want to be when I grow up.”
It’s enough for me. I don’t hesitate to pull her in to kiss her. She’s hesitant at first but then she melts into me, and I know somehow that wherever this takes us it’s going to be ok because at least we have Portland.
About the Author
Sidonia Rose lives in suburban Maryland with her family. Sidonia has a long love affair with books. She started early by memorizing her Dr. Seuss books read to her, so she could read them to her parents instead. She is often found with a book in her hands or a couple of books so she can lend to a friend. You can often spot her by her toe shoes.
After a long career homeschooling she continued onward to pursue her love of books by writing her own books. Love Shots is her first novel released in 2014.
www.sidoniarose.com
https://www.facebook.com/Sidonia-Rose-Author-1424151237819902/
https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7904923.Sidonia_Rose
Twitter- @SidoniaRoseAuth
Love in Government Camp – Stace Lee
Chapter 1
My heart is beating frantically. I’m either having a heart attack or a panic attack. I’m thinking it’s probably the latter of the two since I haven’t keeled over yet. Damn, I hate when my nerves get the best of me. I can’t even sit here without freaking out. No one has approached me in the time I’ve been sitting here. Alone. I’m starting to think I have leprosy or something.
My fingers grip my glass of Hefeweizen as I sit here thinking about the different guys I’ve seen walk by and not even glance at me. The cold glass feels good against my skin as I try to cool down. Sitting here sweating isn’t going to help me any.
The ski club has their annual feast here at Charlie’s every year and it’s always the same thing. I freak out and look like a mess. It ends the same with me alone at the bar drinking myself stupid. I was hoping at thirty that I would be confident enough to spread my wings and pick up someone or at least flirt with a guy. Shit, I’d be ecstatic if a girl hit on me right now. At least I’d get some kind of action, right?
I think I’m pretty average-looking, with long blonde hair cascading down my back. My eyes are as dark blue as the night sky. Unfortunately, my nose is a little long and pointy, but it’s not terrible. I’m sure there are worse noses out there. I did have a small mole on my face under the right side of my mouth, but I had that removed shortly after high school. I was sure that would help build my confidence and get more boys to notice me. I guess I’m just not comfortable in my own skin.
Confidence hasn’t been one of my strengths.
I’ve always had issues with feeling good about myself. It’s interesting that most of my friends have more self-assurance. I can only assume that’s what draws people in. How can you not be confident when you look like them? I can say that I’ve got some good-looking friends.
My friends usually have their boyfriends with them, so I’m usually alone. Of course they always try to set me up, but it never seems to work out. I wonder why. It can’t be that I get so clumsy I knock shit over or run into something. I’m pretty sure it’s a total turnoff being around me. You would think I would crash and burn on the slopes, but it’s the opposite. I’m pretty bad-ass when I’m flying down the mountain. I wish I could be that smooth off the slopes.
My friends Michelle, Cindy and Jaime come over, trying to get me to dance with them. Charlie’s always has a live band that plays covers. They know I can’t keep from dancing, but I never want to go out there by myself. It’s the comfort of knowing my friends are out there with me that alleviates my nerves. I feel like there’s no one else in the room once I get out there and feel more comfortable. I just feel the music and my body moves. There’s no stopping me at that point.
Dancing is similar to my flying down the mountain. I feel the wind on my face and nothing can stop me. You have to sway from side to side, feeling the rhythm in your hips and knees, keeping the balance, so you don’t wipe out. It’s definitely like dancing. I need to keep my balance while I’m grinding down to the ground, so I don’t fall on my ass. There has been a time or two when I landed on my ass from drinking too much, but it doesn’t happen very often. I always try to stay in control. Dancing burns off the alcohol, so I usually sober up pretty quickly.
Before we came to Charlies, we all went back to the cabin to change out of our snow clothes and into something a little more comfortable. To me, jeans, boots and a nice top is my go-to outfit for the mountain. It’s actually the norm unless it’s summer. Then it’s cute heels or sandals instead of boots.
I’m wearing my dark skinny jeans, and pink flowy top with brown boots. My makeup is soft except around my eyes. I focused on outlin
ing them a little darker to make them stand out. I decided to wear my hair down, but I’m really wishing I put it up or in braid since I’m probably going to get hotter than shit dancing. I’m already starting to burn up.
The guys on stage are playing one of my favorite jams. I love getting down to “Hurt So Good” by John Mellencamp. My girls and I sing at the top of our lungs while we dance. We always have so much fun dancing to this song. Suddenly I stop in the middle of the dance floor and look around. I had this odd feeling creep over me. I look around, but don’t notice anything strange or anyone really looking at me. The guys are talking, but I see them glance over and watch their girlfriends as they grind on each other. Yeah, not sure why I got this weird feeling, so I go back to dancing.
Walking toward the bar, I see a guy glance over at me while he’s sipping on his beer. I slow down a bit, then decide to just keep going. I’m so ready for a drink, and I’m sure the gang is ready to head back to the cabin. The bartender sees me and asks if I want something. “What can I get you?” he says.
“I’ll take a Corona, please.” I figured I could drink this quicker than a draft beer. He hands me my beer as I lay a few dollars on the bar. Taking a seat to rest for a few minutes, I see the girls head toward me.
“Lori, we’re getting ready to head back. Are you going to come with us?” says Michelle.
“Yeah, let me finish this, and I’ll head out with you guys,” I say as I drink down half the beer. I think I drained myself of all liquids while out there on the dance floor. I’m done within a matter of minutes. I grab my jacket and head toward the door to meet them. Luckily the cabin is within walking distance. We don’t have to worry about driving, which is a huge benefit.
The cabin is huge and sleeps fourteen people which is perfect for a ski club. Since I’m usually by myself, I sleep in the loft. I don’t need as much privacy as the others. When you don’t have a boyfriend, how much privacy do you actually need?
I say good-night to everyone and head to the loft. I’m exhausted from skiing and dancing. I won’t be surprised if I’m walking slow tomorrow. I put on a pair of leggings and tank top and crawl into bed. It’s cozy warm in here with the wall heater on. I wrap myself up in my blanket and close my eyes.
My mind has a different idea and keeps going back to the guy I’ve been chatting with online. I kind of wish he was here right now. Things seem so easy with him. Tripping over my words is the last thing I do with him. We haven’t spoken on the phone yet, but I imagine his voice and how silky smooth it would be. We haven’t even exchanged photos of each other yet. We wanted to keep things interesting and somewhat exciting at the same time. Not knowing what someone looks like allows our fantasies to be our own. Also, we don’t get caught up in the appearance, and we can get to know each other.
I told him I was going out of town this weekend, so I probably wouldn’t get a chance to write to him. It worked out perfectly since he was going to be gone too. We’ve talked about our hobbies and how I’m on a ski team. He’s outdoorsy and likes to hike. It’s nice to know that he’s somewhat physical and isn’t a couch potato. Being able to talk to someone else about the things you like to do is nice. I’ve always wanted to do more hiking, so we’ve been able to talk about different places he’s been and where he would like to go. He even mentioned it could be a place we could go together.
In one of our chats he mentioned Tom Dick and Harry Mountain Trail. It’s rated a moderate skill level and overlooks Mirror Lake which sounds beautiful. I couldn’t help but laugh to myself when he told me the name of the place. I actually asked him if he was joking.
He was not.
I decided to look this place up and it’s not too far from here. Government Camp sits up on the mountain side and has a lot of trails to explore. I’m definitely putting it on my bucket list; whether I go with him someday or I go by myself, I will do it.
Chapter 2
The morning air is crisp as I sit up in bed. Damn it’s chilly this morning. I grab my slippers and sweatshirt and head downstairs. I heard shuffling around, so I know someone is up. Jaime is usually the early riser and gets the coffee going. I could really use some right now. Sleeping in places other than my own bed, does not work out well for me. I didn’t sleep worth a darn, even though I was exhausted. I usually have to take a sleeping pill to sleep through the night.
Since we drank last night and were out kind of late, I decided against taking anything. I always regret it, but it is what it is. I have to deal with it somehow. Right now it’s called coffee.
“Morning, Jaime. Thanks for making the coffee.”
“No problem. Sleep like crap as usual?” she says as she sips on her coffee.
“Ah, you know me so well. Do birds sing?” Yeah, I’m a smartass when I’m tired.
Laughing, she turns around and heads for the couch and sits down. I sit down in the recliner next to the couch. We both stare out the window to watch the snow fall. The weather guru’s actually got the weather right. It was supposed to snow another four inches last night. The slopes are going to be awesome with fresh powder on them. I’m not as sore as I thought I was going to be, so I’m definitely hitting the slopes again today.
Everyone else is slowly getting up and getting their coffee. It seems like I’m not the only one dragging ass. Looks like some extracurricular activities manifested after we went to bed last night. I can’t blame them. If I had a significant other, I have no doubts we would be utilizing the bed for more than just sleeping.
“Morning, Lori. How are you moving right now?” says Michele.
“I guess I have more stamina than you,” I say while laughing.
“Shut up! God, you are so crass,” she says as she takes a seat on the couch next to Jaime.
“Where are the guys? They not feeling as limber this morning?”
“Here they come. I think everyone needs their coffee this morning. We all look like we got the shit kicked out of us last night,” says Cindy.
“Well, I can definitely say that I kicked all of your asses on the slopes yesterday,” I say while laughing.
“Hardy har har, Lori. Yes, we all know that you have skills on the slopes, but can you say you have skills off the slopes? OH! Did the cat catch your tongue?” Jaime says as she points a finger at me.
Damn, what do I say to that? Everyone knows that I’m a walking disaster around other people. I can’t help it. Most people make me feel inferior and want to crawl in a hole. I’m figuring out that I have social anxiety. I do better in smaller groups and around people I’m comfortable with. Get me in a big group and for sure something will get broken, or I will be sitting in a corner by myself.
While I sit here finishing up breakfast and having another cup of coffee, I’m taking in my surroundings. This cabin is beautifully made out of Douglas fir. There are three floors all made out of Natural Hickory wood. The first floor has two bedrooms that sleep four to six people. Having put bunk beds in allows room for more people. The second floor is the main living area to eat, drink and watch movies. There’s also a bedroom with a full bath. It’s nice because there’s actually another full bath on this floor also. Now the third floor is where I’m staying. The loft. It’s not as bad as it sounds. Sure, you can hear everything, but the owners decided to put up a wall and a door, so there’s some privacy.
The place really has an antique style to it. Everywhere you look, there is something on the wall: old-style ski shoes, sleds, snow picks, saws, and old skis. Everything is ancient-looking. It’s really neat to look at and think back to a time when people actually used these items on the wall. Look how far we’ve come in this world.
As I sit here chilling in the recliner, I realize everyone has already gone back to their rooms. It’s just so enjoyable and peaceful, I get lost sometimes. Deciding to get my butt up and get ready, I hop up too fast and slide across the floor. Luckily no one could catch that to humiliate me some more.
I really want to hit the slopes before it gets over-crowded. Thi
s is my time to show people what I can really do on those slopes. The snow is my heaven and she won’t let me do any wrong. Well, at least that’s my philosophy anyway.
I shower and put on my snow pants and sweater. Braiding my hair, I try to meditate and put focus on my core. I sit here for a few minutes and think about the snow, the fresh powder that will be pushing my skis further down the mountain. I need to make peace with the earth and give myself to her. I trust her to take care of me. I know I probably sound a little crazy, but I met someone who is into spirituality and she told me to become one with the earth. This allows your mind to be free and open. You will be less likely to get hurt. Handing over my trust to the earth has actually helped me loosen up and ski better than I ever have in my life. Why deny what I feel, which is free?
Chapter 3
We all make it to the top of the mountain before it’s lined up with newbies. When there’s fresh powder on the ground, it’s a great time for new skiers to hit the bunny slopes. It’s turned out to be a beautiful day after the snow stopped. The sun is shining brightly. Not a cloud in the sky.
Everyone is starting to take off down the slopes, but I decide to hang back for a minute, doing my Zen thing to keep me centered and focused…becoming one with the mountain before I take the leap. It’s exhilarating to say the least. If you want a rush, then flying down the mountain should be on your list of to-do’s.
I can feel when the moment is right and my skis take action. I push off and take short little hops at first, then squat to lower my body closer to the ground. This is the only reason I’m okay with my height. Getting low to the ground allows me to go faster. Feels like I’m flying, soaring with every stroke. Each stretch gets longer and longer. The wind in my face is cold, but feels good at the same time. It makes me feel alive.