Christmas Cowboy

by Claire Adams

  "You can't help yourself, right?" He gave me a knowing smile.

  "Right." I tapped the glass on the counter. "More."

  He filled it up again, and I was grateful for him being home. It was weird, but simply getting the pain off my chest left me feeling better.

  "If he's the one, then you're sitting in the wrong place right now. True love doesn't give up, baby." He pushed the glass back toward me. "Your mother broke my heart a million times before we were married, but I wouldn't stop. I was relentless, and you know what?"

  "What, Dad?" Tears blurred my gaze again. Finn was angry because he was hurt. There was a reason behind it. It wasn't at all what I thought it was, but somehow, I was ready to throw in the towel and pretend as though I wasn't feeling the incredible pain that I was feeling over him. The pain was proof of the emotion that lay underneath it. Whether it made sense or not, I wanted him by my side. In my bed. In my life.

  "The hurt faded over the years as your mother worked to show me how much she loved me. It took little time at all before we were completely and totally one in all things." He looked up at the ceiling and let out a painful sound. "I miss her so much."

  "I know you do, but she would want you to move on. You know she would." I got up and walked into the kitchen to wrap my arms around him.

  He wrapped his strong arms around me, too, and I sunk into his hold, needing it so bad.

  "I know she would. I'm trying, but I’m doing it all wrong. I'll work on it. You don't give up on this boy. Deal?"

  I nodded as I held back my tears. "Deal."

  Chapter Eighteen

  Finn

  Kari could not have shown up at a worse time.

  Did I really call Chloe a whore? I walked back into the restaurant as sickness rolled over me. No way I'd done that. I would never insult a woman that way—especially not someone like Chloe.

  I had. Dammit.

  "There you are." Kari moved up and slipped her arm through mine. "Who was that, really? I know you, and you do not have female friends."

  I pulled my wallet out of my back pocket and laid a twenty on the table before jerking my arm out of hers.

  "Kari. Stop. Shit." I looked up at her and put my wallet up. "Leave me alone. Okay?"

  "Finn. We've been friends for a long time. Don't close up on me." She moved closer, but I held up my hand.

  "I'm serious. Now is not the time."

  "I just want to help." She puffed her bottom lip out in a pout.

  "By sliding into the seat across from a girl I was with and pawing at me?" I knew my voice was getting a little too loud, but I was done with people using me. "Who were you helping? Yourself?"

  She got in my face and pressed her finger to my chest. "Don't you try to get all high and mighty. You might be turning a new leaf, but you're still the same old guy. Always looking to score and break some girl's heart in the morning. We all have you figured out. That poor girl needed saving. I saved her."

  I laughed sardonically and pushed her hand off my chest. "Yeah. You bitches see what you want to see. I don't care."

  Turning, I moved out of the restaurant and walked to my truck. I was grateful Chloe had forced us to take separate rides. The last thing I wanted to do was walk home after the mess I'd made between us.

  I texted Brian to meet me at the bar near my place and headed that way. He lied to me or she lied to him. I needed to know which. Someone owed me a damn apology because I wasn't going to be the only one on my knees this time. I'd been there too many times in the last twelve years, and I was tired of it.

  I drove like a bat out of hell as I tried to think through how to get Chloe to see me again. I just needed to apologize for how ugly I'd been. She wasn't a whore. I was. I didn't need to leave things like that with her.

  Her words rang through my head again, and I growled low in my chest. Had she broken up with the football guy? Was she really looking for a guy like me, or did she make that shit up to cover her tracks?

  The authentic hurt in her face told me that she was telling the truth, but I was terrified of playing the fool. It was easier to tuck my feelings back deep down inside of me and just go around as the town dick; it was better than being a broken man with nothing left to offer anyone.

  I parked and walked in, slowing my stride and putting my facade in place. There was no reason to let anyone see me upset. It would just cause talk amongst the locals and leave me looking like an idiot.

  "Hey." Brian lifted his hand in the air.

  "Hey." I sat down and nodded to his beer as Pauly walked up. "I'll have a Budweiser, too."

  "You bet, Finn. Good to see you, son." He stuck out his hand, and I shook it.

  "You too, Pauly." I turned to Brian. "Chloe said she doesn't have a boyfriend, Brian."

  "And, you're surprised by this?" He chuckled and lifted his beer to his lips.

  "Yeah, actually, I am. Did she seem like the kind of woman that would have two men?"

  "No, not at all, but it's usually women like her that you have to watch out for." He shrugged.

  "What? Why?"

  "She's classy, beautiful, brilliant, and has the world waiting for her next move. Girls like her know how to lie, how to look the part, and it leaves us guessing. I don't like it, Finn."

  "I don't care what you think she is or isn't. What I care about is whether she really told you that she's dating someone."

  "Yeah, Finn. I've known you my whole fucking life. I wouldn't lie to you." He turned away from me and took another drink of his beer.

  "What exactly did she say? Lay it on me." I'd forced myself to calm down, not wanting to upset him. He was my best friend, and there was no way he wouldn't shoot straight with me over a girl. We'd been friends for far too long and been through a ton of shit together.

  "She said that she was glad she got to go out dancing. Her boyfriend back in California is the jealous type and never lets her get out and have a little bit of harmless fun." He rolled his eyes and let out a long sigh. "It was something to that tune. She said she had a man, and I was just warning you. She's lying to you or she was lying to me."

  She might have lied to Brian to save him from asking her out. She was that type of girl to save a poor guy from looking too much liked an idiot. Her character just screamed goodness. The memory of her bringing the cup of hot chocolate to me a few days back rose behind my eyelids, and my heart contracted painfully. Sitting in her kitchen and talking about nothing had been so damn nice. So right.

  "What are you thinking?" Brian asked.

  "That I need to get her back. I fucked things up tonight because her brother validated what you just said, and I was angry with her." I shrugged. "I should have been a man and just asked her about it, but I didn't. I acted like a brat and treated her like she didn't matter, which honestly, couldn't be farther from the truth."

  "You just met her, Finn. Don't you think you're being a little irrational about this?"

  "Not at all." I glanced over at him and took a swig of my beer. "But then again, I believe in love. I've tried to pretend like I don't so I don't have to hurt so much, but the honest to God truth is that I believe in it."

  "And, you should," Pauly butted in, leaning toward us and staring me in the face. "I met my wife on the dance floor one night thirty years ago. It was an old country hoedown in Kentucky, and the minute I saw her, I knew. Sounds silly, but that's because it doesn't happen to everyone. Those of us who are struck with its overwhelming power know the truth of it, though. If you've felt it, you better not let it go, Finn. It don't come around but once in a life, and sometimes not even once."

  "That sounds great, Pauly, but I've never felt like that. Not once." Brian sat back and lifted his eyebrow at the old barkeep.

  "Just because you've never tangibly seen gravity, you can't deny that it exists, Brian. It's a force, just like love is. Stop being ignorant and open yourself up to the possibility that somewhere in the world there a woman just for you. When you see her, time stands still and you find yourself
willing to-”

  I cut him off as I stared at the liquor bottles behind him. "To do anything for her. You'll give up your own dreams, cut family ties, or move across the country for her. Anything to have her as yours."

  "That's it. Don't let that go, Finn. The world will pull it away from you. Fix it and hold tight to that girl. She's the one." He winked and moved back, his words leaving me breathless.

  "I don't know if I believe that, but I wish I did." Brian turned to me. "I didn't mean to cause you any trouble. You're like a brother to me. When she said she was dating someone, I told you. No way was I keeping that from you. You'd have done the same."

  I finished the beer and shook my head. "I know, buddy. I'm sorry I blew up."

  "It's all good. What can I do to help?"

  "I'm not sure yet, but if I think of something, I'll call."

  "You heading out?"

  "Yeah. I need to see if she'll see me. I doubt it, but I'm going to try."

  "Just be careful. Her old man is a financial mogul. He's a dick, too. I had a run in with him a few years back. It took me a day to put two and two together after her friend said her last name the other night."

  "Her father owns a clothing line, right?" I glanced over at him, praying I wasn't about to uncover another lie.

  "Yeah, he does, but he owns a chuck of this city and has massive stock investments, too. When we say wealthy, that's a big understatement."

  "She just doesn't come off as someone with loads of money."

  "I agree." Brian shrugged and finished his beer. "Come on. I'll walk you out."

  I lifted my hand in the air and waved. "Night, Pauly. Thanks for the advice."

  "Don't leave it here. Take it with ya and do something with it." He winked and went back to wiping down the bar.

  "I will." I walked out into the freezing cold and turned, feeling better about everything. It was going to be a bitch to get Chloe to listen to me, but the resolve to not give up felt good—like I had purpose.

  "What are you going to do if she won't see you?" Brian asked, moving to his car and pausing.

  "Keep trying, I guess." I shrugged and stopped by the back of my truck.

  "Isn't she going home back to California soon?"

  "That's what she said." I brushed my fingers by my chin and tried to work through how I could get her to talk to me. She most likely went home, and no one was supposed to be there. I could just go out there and knock on the door. It seemed logical.

  "So, I guess you're on a short time span then, dude. You better get after it." He smiled and shook his head. "If anyone can do it, you can."

  "Thanks, buddy. I'll call you later." I walked around my truck. I wasn't on a timetable, at all. If she didn't come around while she was here, I would simply go there. Only when she made it perfectly clear that she wasn't interested in anything ever happening between us, I'd be done.

  I got in the car and hooked my phone up as a call from my dad rang through.

  "Hey, Pops. What's up?" I closed the door and buckled up.

  "You. That's what's up." He was angry.

  Great. More shit to deal with.

  "What did I do now? It's been a fucked up night, so I'm sure I had this coming."

  "You did what I told you not to do, which has been the story of your life. Do you think I give you advice because I enjoy listening to the sound of my own voice? No. I give it to you because otherwise, you're going to suffer the consequences for your fucked up actions."

  "Dad. Really. I'm not in the mood for this shit. Tell me what I did, and I'll fix it. I don't need you berating me. I'm a piece of shit. I get it," I barked into the console of the truck and turned out of the lot, headed out to Chloe's place.

  "I didn't say you were a piece of shit. I said you didn't listen."

  "I'm hanging up." I let out an exasperated sigh. I would call him tomorrow. I was too broken for whatever he was up to.

  "I told you to leave Chloe alone, and you didn't."

  How the hell did my father know I'd hurt her? Did she run home and tell her dad? Had he called mine? We were adults, for shit’s sake. Why the hell was our fathers involved in any of this?

  "What?" I had no other word to throw out.

  "Her father caught me in town tonight and chewed my ass out for sending you over there to do the yard. He said you were after his girl, and I couldn't deny it. Do me a favor, Finn. Please. Just one small, tiny thing. Just this once, keep your dick in your pants and keep away from the Burke girl. Those people are rich, hateful, and headed straight to hell."

  "Yep." I dropped the call and turned into her driveway, turning off my lights. I would have to figure out how to deal with my old man once I figured out if there were anything to really deal with. Chloe could turn me down cold, and the problem would be solved. I prayed that wouldn't be the case, but the chances of a different outcome seemed slim.

  Maybe her dad wasn't out of town. I texted her, half expecting no response, but I made my message too compelling to ignore.

  Me: I'm sitting in your driveway. Come out for two minutes, and then I'll leave you alone after that.

  Chloe: Finn?

  Me: Yes. Get out here.

  Chloe: How did you get my number?

  Me: During our shopping trip. Two minutes.

  Chloe: No. Go away. My dad's here.

  Me: I'm coming up to ring the doorbell. I want two minutes with you.

  Chloe: Fine. Come to the second window at the back of the house, and I'll let you in. Two minutes and then you're out. I don't have anything to say to you.

  I turned the truck off and got out, jogging to the back and finding her window open. I felt all of sixteen again. It was humorous and nerve-wracking all the same.

  "Hurry up and get in here." She helped me in and moved back, putting her hands on her hips. She had on a tiny tank top and a pair of boy shorts.

  "Fuck," I whispered and let my eyes drag down her. Now wasn't the time, and yet she was the hottest thing I'd ever laid eyes on.

  I moved toward her before I realized what I was doing.

  "Finn. No." She put her hands out, but I moved past them, wrapping my arms around her and pressing her against the wall behind her roughly. She groaned, but it wasn't a scared sound. She still wanted me. I could sense it all over her.

  "I'm sorry." I leaned in and drug my lips up her neck, breathing her in. "I was told you had a man, Chloe. By my best friend and your brother."

  "I know," she whispered roughly as her hand ran up the back of my hair.

  "I was hurt and so far beyond pissed. You can't have another man." I licked at her ear and pressed my lips to it as I ground against her. "That leaves no room for me."

  She cried out again and whimpered. "I need time. I can't do this right now."

  I shifted my upper body back and brushed her hair off her face before pressing my forehead to hers. "Time is all yours. Take as much as you need, but I don't want a friendship. I want you. All of you."

  She whimpered again and closed her eyes, rolling her hips and stroking my body with hers.

  I clenched my teeth, respecting the fact that her father was down the hall. If we'd have been alone that night, I would have already had her stretched out on her bed, my face between her taut thighs.

  She opened her beautiful, green eyes and nodded as she bit her lip.

  "Tell me we're okay, and I'll go." I brushed my lips by hers and slid my hand down her side, over the curve of her breast, and around her hip, my fingers tracing the outside of her panties.

  "We're okay. I'm sorry for overreacting, but you hurt me today." I could smell the liquor on her breath.

  "I'm sorry for that. I hurt you out of my own pain. It won't ever happen again. I promise." I pressed my lips to her and snaked my fingers into her panties, rubbing over the curve of her ass as I kissed her long and passionately. She had my heart. I didn't know how, but she did.

  She pushed at me, and I moved back, panting just as she was. "I need time to think through this."


  "I understand. I'll wait as long as I can for you to come find me. If you don't...I'll come find you. Be ready to accept me or not, but know that I want you. More than I've ever wanted anyone, Chloe."

  I moved back and she clung to me, her fingers wrapped in my t-shirt bunched at my shoulders. "Tell me to stay, and I will," I said. I licked at my lips and took one more look at her, which left me overwhelmed.

  "Soon." She released me and backed up, hugging herself and watching me intently.

  I stood there a minute longer, needing her to change her mind, but wanting to give her time to want me the way I wanted her. The sound of her father coming down the hall almost caused my heart to stop, and I moved through the window and chuckled at the sound of her laughing softly out of her window.

  Things weren't perfect, but maybe they were at least getting back on track.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chloe

  It had been three days since I'd spoke to Finn, since the night he came through my bedroom window. I hadn't thought of too much other than him, but I wanted to make sure I was ready for a relationship before approaching him. He was as fragile as I was. There was no reason to start something that I couldn't finish.

  The meeting with my dad a few days back went relatively well. He liked my designs and even allowed me access to one of his manufacturers to start working on a prototype for the women's windbreaker I designed. It wasn't what I wanted to do with my life, but it was a first step in helping him see me for the professional I was becoming.

  With only ten days until Christmas, I had a list of gifts I needed to get, mostly for my brother, but I was running out of time. I had a piece of toast and then headed out for the morning and made sure Parker was still planning on taking me snowboarding for the afternoon. I'd decided over the last three days that I wanted to learn how to do it. I would have asked Finn, but we had some damage repair to get through.