Christmas Cowboy

by Claire Adams

  "My ass is not ugly. Ask any girl within a five mile radius." I had to lighten the conversation. I couldn't handle much more strife.

  "Finn. Go home, dude. We'll go out tomorrow and take a mountain down together."

  I sighed and resigned myself to giving into them. Everyone had their panties in a wad, and once again, it was my turn to bend and comfort them. "Fine. I'm already up here, and there's one fucking way down."

  "Good. Enjoy it and get home. Text me if you're free later, and we'll grab a beer."

  "Yeah, fuck you," I mumbled and pulled my glasses down.

  "I'm not your type, remember."

  "Right. You're entirely too hairy." I smiled, not wanting to cause any stress on anyone, just wanting a moment to myself.

  "Hey."

  "What?" I bit my tongue.

  "Whatever that mean old fucker said to you today...let it go."

  "Does everyone know about this?"

  "Small town, Finn," he laughed. "I'm hanging up. Be careful and call me later."

  "Later." I pulled the phone from my face and honestly considered lobbing it halfway across the mountain just to get a moment of peace. My dad's problems were his problems, and I didn't need him fixing mine.

  I let my thoughts go and bent my knees, turning sharply and shoving off. The wind hit me in the face, and I took shallow breaths, turning and twisting my body as I'd been doing all my life.

  Jonathan Burke’s voice lifted inside my head, and I couldn't seem to shake his words.

  "You stay the fuck away from my little girl. She deserves better than you could ever give her. Do you hear me? You're a piece of shit who will rot in this town, boning any available woman, and dreaming about a life that will never ever be yours. Do yourself a favor and don't bring down Chloe to your level. You'll hate yourself for it later. Ask your father about that."

  Was my mother like Chloe once? Was she wealthy and filled with plans? Had my father fallen in love with her and changed everything? Did it matter? She had been happy.

  I could remember so many happy moments with my folks. Wealth didn't matter, and building legacies didn't mean shit if there wasn't someone there to enjoy them with, someone to pass them on to.

  My dad was right about one thing: I did need to know the story. It wasn't just about him and Jonathan; I was pretty sure it involved my mom, too.

  Had she been with Jonathan, and then Dad stole her?

  I lost my footing for a minute, but righted myself.

  "Keep your head in the game," I grumbled and over-corrected my next turn. There was no time to fix the error, and I covered my face and tried to relax as I flew forward, knowing it was about to get bad.

  The world flew by, colors mixing and fading as I tumbled over myself over and over again. I hit something hard on the way down and lost my vision for a minute.

  I lay there for what felt like forever, trying to remember where I was and what I needed to do to get up. It was so damn cold, and the sky was darkening. I fumbled with my phone in my pocket as dizziness rolled over me.

  Pressing my dad's number, I put the phone on my chest and closed my eyes, waiting to hear his voice.

  "Finn? What's up, son? You on your way over?"

  I could hear him, but I couldn't seem to respond. Fear rushed through me, and I groaned, wanting so damn bad to tell him where I was and what I was up to, but words wouldn't form.

  "Finn? Stop dicking around, boy. You're scaring me." His tone sharpened, and his anger seemed to burn through the phone.

  Tears burned my gaze, and I let out a painful breath. My mind was blurry, and even breathing was hard. I had to have punctured a lung and hit my head on something. Why else couldn't I get a word out?

  "Goddammit, son!" I could hear him yelling at Milly to get the truck and call 9-1-1. I let myself fade out as he continued to yell at me to stay awake and think good thoughts.

  I let Chloe take up my mind, the warmth of her smile and softness of her lips keeping me busy. I didn’t know how much time had passed before the sound of voices around me ushered in relief. Someone was there to help. Now if I could just flag them down, but I still had no ability to form words.

  "Here. Here he is. Bring the stretcher." Someone knelt next to me and picked up the phone. "Hi, this is Leah Smith. We've found him. We're going to assess him and get him to St. Marks. Meet us there."

  "Hey, buddy." A male voice spoke near my ear, and as badly as I wanted to respond, I couldn't. Fuck me if I wasn't paralyzed. If I thought I wasn't good enough for Chloe before, this was a moment of clarity. "Just stay still, Finn. We're going to make sure your neck and back aren't broken, and then we'll get you to the hospital. Your dad's gonna meet us there. Just open your eyes if you can hear me."

  I tried, but nothing happened. It was like being trapped in my body with no way of communicating out.

  "He's breathing, Leah, but non-responsive. Brain injury, I would assume."

  They poked and prodded at me as I lay there with my eyes closed, trying to focus on breathing.

  "He's got tears coming from his eyes," the female spoke. "He can hear us."

  "We're going to pick you up now. If something hurts, just cry out if you can, and we'll stop." The guy patted my chest. "It's going to be fine. We've got the best doctors in the world right down the road."

  I didn't remember much more other than bright lights flying by above my head as I opened my eyes for a moment and groaned. My father was running beside the bed with tears streaking down his face, and I knew the shit was bad. He glanced down and pursed his lips.

  "I'll see you soon. Hang in there, okay? Don't leave me. You're all I've got, and I'm a selfish bastard."

  He patted my chest, and I tried to mumble, “of course not,” but nothing came out. I closed my eyes and let the darkness take me. It was far less frightening than knowing what the hell I'd done to myself.

  If I survived, I was done taking shit for granted and defining myself based on other people’s opinions. I knew who I was and who I wanted to be. Outside of all of that, I knew who I wanted, and if I could have another shot at showing her, Chloe would be mine forever.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Chloe

  I spent the rest of the night in my room, even refusing Parker as he tried to come in with some food. By Sunday morning, I was feeling a little less manic. The fact that Finn didn’t call was upsetting, but I would give him a day or so to cool off. My father had most likely torn him down to nothing, which still grated my nerves completely. I was somewhat pissed at Finn for letting my father affect him so much, too, which is why I hadn’t texted. My dad's opinion wasn't my own, and Finn should know that.

  A knock at my door pulled me from my thoughts.

  I tugged the covers up around me and called out. "Come in."

  Parker stuck his head in the room with a cute frown on his boyishly handsome face. "Can I come snuggle?"

  "Yeah. Get in here." I moved over, making room for my little brother beside me.

  He pounced on the bed and turned on his side, curling up and smiling. "I'm sorry about what happened between Dad and Finn."

  "Me, too." I reached out and brushed his hair back. "It's okay, though. I need Dad to step back, and this was just one way to make it happen. I think he thinks he can use his money to hold power over me, but he can't. It's his attention and love that I want. That would have me visiting every holiday, no matter what."

  "Yeah. I think he knows that. He's just scared to care about someone and then lose them like we did Momma."

  "How are you holding up? I know it's been a long time, but Dad gets so depressed this time of year." I brushed my fingers through his hair again, realizing that I'd not even thought to check on him.

  "I'm okay. I just try not to think about it."

  I nodded. "Me, too."

  "I tried to text Finn, but he didn't respond. That was yesterday." Parker pushed my hand away. "You're going to cause my dandruff to come out, and then I'll have to shake my head and make it sno
w in here."

  "Ew, sick." I pushed at his chest as he laughed.

  "I'm worried about Finn, sis."

  "Let's go ride over to his house and see if he's there. We can get a coffee on the way."

  "Peppermint hot chocolate?" Parker sat up and lifted his eyebrow in question.

  "Yeah. One of those, too." I sat up and pulled with me, tucking them under my arms. "Where's Dad?"

  "No clue. He left a note that said he would be back soon."

  "Alright. Let's make a run for it, then. I don't really want to see him yet." I waited for my brother to leave the room before getting up and dressing in some sweats and a long-sleeve shirt.

  The sound of my father taking to Parker as I walked down the hall caused my heart to contract. I adverted my gaze and walked past them, grabbing my jacket and my keys.

  "Where are you going, Chloe?"

  "To check on my boyfriend who's been ignoring me since yesterday. Can I use your SUV or did you want me to walk? I know nothing belongs to me, so if you want these clothes back, just let me know that, too."

  "Just be careful," he mumbled and turned back to Parker, continuing their conversation.

  I was surprised by his unwillingness to fight with me. I shouldn't have been egging him on, anyway. I'd promised myself that I would work on things with him, but it was so damn hard when he kept throwing daggers at the people that I cared about.

  The car was nice and toasty by the time Parker got into the passenger's side and buckled up.

  "What was that all about?" I glanced over at him and put the jeep in reverse.

  "Dad has something special he wants to get you for Christmas, but he needs help with it." He shrugged.

  "What is it?" I turned on the lights and windshield wipers, not feeling so good about driving across town all of a sudden.

  "I'm not telling you," he chuckled.

  I hit the brakes as the jeep rolled over something. "What was that?"

  "The chains. Dad put the chains on the tires last night. I helped him."

  "Where was...oh. In my room."

  "Yeah, but it's cool. Gave us a chance to do something together. He stays so busy with his clients and stuff, that it was a good reason to call in. Family meltdown is what he told them."

  I laughed, unable to help myself. "It was that."

  "I'm glad you told him that he hadn't been a dad since Mom died. He has been to me, but I think you remind him so much of Mom that he struggles with just being around you." My brother shrugged. "It's stupid, I know, but I think that's part of it."

  "You would think that would make him love me more, not less." I turned on the radio, not wanting to dive into the reasons why my father was such a jerk to me most days. "New subject."

  "Right. What are you getting Finn for Christmas?"

  "I got him some cologne, but I can't figure out what else he might like." I looked over at my brother. "What would want if you were him?"

  He looked at me and rolled his eyes. "You. Duh."

  "He's got me."

  "Does he?"

  "Stop analyzing things. You're sixteen. Fart in the car and blame it on me, but don't grow up. I need some immaturity in my life. That has to be you."

  "It will always be me." He reached over and tugged at my hair. "Be careful on the side roads if we have to get on any. I was watching the weather this morning, and it's nasty."

  "We do, so just help me watch out for things?"

  "Of course."

  We rode in silence the rest of the way out to Finn's, which was a gift in itself. Finn's truck wasn't out in the yard, which was surprising. I knew he worked on Sunday afternoons, but I would have thought Clark would have let the guys off to rest or go to church.

  "Where's his truck?" Parker sat up and looked around.

  "No clue. Wait here and let me make sure he's not inside."

  "Yeah. Sure. You got a key?" He lifted his eyebrow at me.

  "Yeah. We're dating...I think."

  "I'd say so."

  I got out of the jeep without responding. Of all of the people in the world, my little brother was not going to become my make-shift girlfriend. With Jessie out of my life, I'd have to make some new friends, but they'd be girls, and they would not be related to me.

  After finally getting the key in the lock, I walked into the house to find it just as I'd left it. Not a dish out or a pillow moved. I check Finn's bedroom and stopped in my tracks. The bed wasn't even touched.

  "Did you not come home at all?" I flipped on the lights and looked around as though there were something that might give me a clue to where the hell he was.

  Maybe he stayed at his dad's.

  Surely, he wouldn't have stayed with some random girl in town just because my dad kicked him in the proverbial nuts. No. I wouldn't even let those thoughts occupy my time. He was mine, and I was his. This wasn't about infidelity, but about him needing to work through all the shit Dad slung at him. I only wished he would have let me help him. For each negative Dad was sure to have hit him with, I could have pulled out ten positives.

  After locking up, I jogged back to the jeep and got in.

  "No luck?"

  "No. He wasn't there last night for sure." I sunk back against the seat and growled. "Now what?"

  "Have you tried texting him?"

  "Yes, pointer of the obvious. Of course, I have."

  "Okay, shit. Put your teeth back in your head."

  I turned to him and bit at the air for good measure as he laughed.

  "Do you think it would be too much if we went by the shop where he works? His dad owns it, so he would know where Finn was, I'm sure."

  "I think that's fine. We're just concerned friends. They shouldn't get upset about that, and anyway, the worse he can do is send us packing."

  "True." I turned the radio to a new channel, stopping on the local one to hear the weather.

  "Local news update... Bear Creek Lodge will closed down until further investigations are completed regarding the tragic accident of a twenty-seven-year-old local male. He's still in critical condition at St. Marks and the town is joining his family in praying for him to make a full recovery. This should serve as a warning that as the city council always advises, no ski..."

  Parker reached up and turned the radio down. "How old is Finn?"

  "I don't know." I glanced toward my brother. "You don't think that was him, do you?"

  "How the hell don't you know how old he is? You guys are dating, right?"

  "Yes, but I haven't gotten around to having him fill out the full survey." I rolled my eyes at him. "I'm sure he's fine. We're just over reacting."

  "No, you're under-reacting. We were just at Bear Creek, and if Finn was upset, where else would he go?"

  "Stop." I turned down the road to his father's shop as tears burned my eyes. "You're scaring me."

  "Well, I'm scared, too." Parker's voice rose, and I reminded myself that he was just a kid. Anything tragic was scary, but nothing tragic had happened. Finn was probably at the shop, working himself into a hole so that he didn't have to think about my father's attack.

  I pulled up and turned to my brother. "You want to go in with me?"

  "No. Just go find out what the hell's going on. and let's find Finn."

  I nodded and got out of the car, pulling my jacket in tighter, and jogging toward the open door. The place was empty, which I would have expected for a Sunday morning, but the two cars out front led me to believe someone was somewhere in the building.

  "Hello?"

  "I'm back here. I'm coming."

  "Milly?" I called out and jogged toward the sound of her voice. I met her in the middle of a short hallway and by the look on her face, I knew the accident was Finn. "Where's Finn?"

  "Oh, honey, he got in an accident on the slopes yesterday. Did Clark not call you?" She moved toward me as dizziness washed over me.

  "What kind of accident? Is he okay? Where is he?"

  "He's at St. Marks in a coma. He's going to be there for a few
days, and then they'll try to bring him out of it."

  "In a coma?" I choked on a sob that rose sharply inside of me. "Oh my God."

  "I know, sweetheart. It's pretty bad, but they're hopeful that if they let him rest, his body will repair the damage to his brain."

  "I need to get up there. Where is he again?"

  "I'll drive you. No need to have you in the bed next to him."

  "My brother is with me." I reached for her, and she pulled me into a warm hug as I started to cry.

  Fear crashed in around me at the thought of losing Finn before I really got him. Things had moved so quickly between the two of us, but I wasn't planning on slowing them down. I wanted to push full speed ahead to see what the future had in store for us. I was a risk taker, and he was one person I was willing to bet the whole lot on.

  "I'll take you both. Dry your eyes, sweet girl. It's all going to be okay."

  I pulled myself together and turned, walking quickly back out to the jeep to get Parker out. He took one look at my face and got out of the car, walking around and pulling me into a hug.

  "Is he okay?"

  "I don't know. He's in a coma right now." I squeezed him and walked to Milly's truck, getting in and scooting over to make room for him to hop in, too.

  They introduced themselves as I sunk into my thoughts, not capable of talking without crying. I had to force myself to think about various designs to keep my mind off of the feel of Finn's hands all over me and his sweet lips hovering above mine.

  I thought I might explode by the time we made it to the hospital, but I'd pulled myself together. We piled out of the truck and walked into the ICU together. I worked hard not to jog toward the room number Milly called out to me. Stopping in front of the door, I turned to my brother, who had stopped and was staring into space wide-eyed.

  "I don't want to go in. I'll stay here." He crossed his arms over his chest.

  "Call Dad and tell him to come get you. Tell him what happened. Okay?"

  "Yeah. I'll do that." He pulled his phone out, and I glanced toward Milly.

  "I'll stay with him. Go on in there. Clark's in there. He'd love to see you, I'm sure."