Christmas Cowboy

by Claire Adams

  The bartender had been more than supportive of my bad habits, but had always managed to get me home safe, whether it was calling a cab or driving me home himself. Truthfully, there wasn’t much more between us. I’d only known him since I’d started spending more of my free time within the neon closet that he called a bar.

  I’d deliberately chosen the dive to keep from having to talk to too many people, but being the professional that Glen is, he’d taken the bartender role to heart. I’d talked to him more than anyone else over the past fourteen months and though we didn’t go golfing or work out together or any of that other male bonding type of stuff, he was all I had.

  Meagan stepped up into my face. “You’re an asshole, Aiden Walker. I’m not going to sit around waiting on you to want me again; I have plenty of other men around here interested.”

  “Good luck to you.” I raised my glass and then took a hearty swig.

  Meagan huffed. “Fine, you bastard!” And then she took off across the room to her usual table. I’d had a few good times with her, and I knew she wasn’t too upset to have a few more if I wanted. She could be awfully forgiving when she was hungry for sex.

  It wasn’t like I couldn’t go pick up my usual stripper at the strip club, or a few of her friends. Sex wasn’t something I was doing without. In fact, I’d had more of it since I’d learned to lower my standards.

  After things had settled down that afternoon and the night had long fallen, I noticed Meagan grinding on some poor guy in the back of the bar. He was a burly motherfucker, and the way she kept cutting me glances, I wondered if she was trying to make me jealous. I couldn’t help but shake my head and raise my glass. She shot me the finger.

  I belted a laugh and then got up to go to the bathroom. All the beer had finally caught up with me, and when I returned to my seat, Meagan’s burly friend was sitting in it. The guy wasn’t much bigger than me, and I was certainly more defined and probably a hell of a lot stronger.

  I could see his lips curl up as he tried to hide his smile and Meagan stood beside him with a smirk. They were hoping for a fight, and who was I to deprive them?

  I walked directly over and nudged his shoulder. “Excuse me. You’re in my seat.”

  He stood like he wanted to get in my face, but Glen was one step ahead of me. “Move along, Teddy. You don’t want to mess with this one. He doesn’t play well with others, and I’d have to call the police.” The man’s eyes widened a bit, and then he pulled Meagan’s hand to lead her away. Before I could take my seat, they were already headed out the door.

  “Why did you go and ruin my fun? You could have at least given me one punch.” I tilted my glass high for the last swallow. “Give me another.”

  Glen leaned up against the bar and shook his head. “Listen, friend. I know you’ve put it to that girl a few times, and I also know she knows who you are and where you live, if you catch my drift.

  “She’s been bragging on your money as if it were her own, and all she needs to get her hands on it is for some thick-headed asshole to pick a fight with you in public or to get knocked up. She’s bad news, and he was baiting you; I wasn’t going to let that happen. You may not even care these days, but I won’t let you ruin your life over a seat at the bar.”

  Glen knew I was well out of my class and normal social standing to be hanging around in his bar, but he’d let me pretend I was nothing for only so long. “I’m glad you’re concerned. Now, I’ve got my seat, so give me another beer.” I took care not to slur my words, but he shook his head again.

  “I’m not serving you anymore tonight.”

  “One more, Glen. Then you can call me an Uber.”

  He chuckled. “The last two times, I drove you home myself, but you probably don’t even remember that. But if you’re going to keep our good buddy Scott in the Uber business, you should just hire him as your personal driver.” The guy named Scott had made a habit of staying close to the pub, knowing that I was developing a habit as a usual pick up.

  “Well, at least the two of you are profiting handsomely with my alcohol issues. It’s quite a racket you’ve got going. Now, can I have that beer?”

  He let out a long breath and poured me another drink. “I’m doing this against my own good sense.” Then he put the beer down in front of me.

  “Good man.” I lifted the glass and took a heavy pull.

  “Take it slow.” He narrowed his eyes as he went to the phone to call my ride. My bike would have to be sent for later, but that was the way most of our nights had ended over the past few months. As long as I could drink away my troubles, the world could crumble down around me. I couldn’t give a shit.

  Chapter Two

  Lexa

  I took my bag out of my locker and shut the door as my coworker Kathy approached with her keys in her hand. “I can’t believe we lucked out with a day shift. Tonight’s going to be wild, but we’re out of here while the sun’s still up.”

  “You know it. There’s nothing like a full moon and gorgeous weather to keep us on our toes in the ER. This is my last day shift for a while, though. I’ll be pulling nights for the rest of the week, and we’ve still got one more good night of full moon glory before it wanes.”

  “That turnaround is going to be rough, Lexa. I don’t envy you.” I didn’t mind it so much, but I smiled and agreed with her.

  It wasn’t like I wanted to have much downtime, anyway. It was lonely at home with Shawn gone, and my parents had been distant since his death. I was afraid if I slowed down I’d start to get depressed again, and that was the last thing I needed. I’d accepted that Shawn wasn’t coming back and that he would want me to move on and be strong.

  I pulled my hair from the elastic band that held it out of my face, and the long jet-black strands fell like curtains on a stage. Kathy shook her head. “It’s not fair for someone so pretty to have great hair, too.”

  “Thanks. I wish I didn’t have to tie it up to work. It’s been rough on it. My hairdresser says it’s unnatural abuse. I have to remind her it’s necessary.” I raked my fingers through and massaged me scalp as the tension eased in my forehead.

  “Well, if that’s abuse, I’ll take it.”

  We walked through the double doors and to the back elevator where we rode in silence until it opened up at the parking garage. We had the same routine each time we worked together, so I walked her to her car, and she waited to get in until I was at my door, then we called across to each other a goodbye before ducking inside our cars at the same time. One could never be too safe, and after one of our coworkers had been beaten and robbed, we’d been told to use the buddy system.

  I hurried out and made my way to the freeway. I had a dinner date with my parents, and if I were lucky, things would be more upbeat than usual. It had been all doom and gloom and death and blame for months now, with both of them grasping at whatever they could to get by.

  I pulled into their long drive and parked, seeing that my father was kneeling in the shrubs out front. Gardening had become one of his hobbies to cope, but mother had taken up day drinking and going through old photo albums.

  Dad stood to welcome me with a puzzled expression as I got out of the car. “Where’s Bre? I thought she would be with you.” My oldest and best friend Bre was driving in alone so she could bail if things got too bad. We never knew what to expect from my mother since she’d had a few bad episodes of tears and mourning.

  “She’ll be along soon. She had somewhere to go before, and we couldn’t meet up.”

  He gave me a warm smile and led me in. Dad had been much more affectionate than Mom, who acted like my brother was the only child she’d ever had. Dad had smothered me as if I might die at any moment.

  “So what’s this good news you and Mom have for me?” I hoped it was something about them going away on vacation, but I couldn’t get as lucky.

  “I’ll explain over dinner. She wants to be present.” He held the door and waved me in, and as he went to clean up, I looked for Mom.


  My parents’ house, which smelled like baked lasagna, was too big for them, but they’d decided to keep it after my brother and I had left home. Dad found projects to work on, and even though he’d never been much of a handyman, he liked that it filled the time between gardening. The very idea of it embarrassed my mother, and she’d already explained to all the neighbors that it was his grief causing him to act out.

  I walked upstairs and found Mom in the guest room staring out the window. It had once been Shawn’s old room until he’d moved out. She’d taken over both of our rooms and turned them into guest rooms, taking out all of our personal things we’d left behind. I wondered many times if she had regretted it, and then I noticed she was smiling.

  She noticed me walking in and came away from the window. “Did you have a good day at work?”

  “It was okay. Nothing too awful. Tonight’s sure to be-”

  “Dinner will be ready soon; I’ve got everything in the oven.” She leaned in and gave me a peck on the cheek and then walked out. I followed, but didn’t continue what I was saying. She wasn’t listening and had never had much interest in my work as she did in the money it made me.

  As I followed her downstairs, the aroma of our dinner became more prominent. “Smells delicious.”

  “It was your brother’s favorite. I had the cook make it before she left, and I’m reheating.” She walked over to the sink and washed her hands before she took out a big bowl of salad which she tossed with her hands as if she’d made it herself. That’s the way she’d always done it, and I cringed every time. I heard Bre’s car and then walked into the other room to greet her.

  “Dinner smells amazing, Mr. P. How are you doing?” Bre gave Dad a hug and then hurried to put down her purse.

  “That’s new.” I walked over and admired the bag as she gave me a quick hug. Her hair was almost as long as mine, but instead of jet-black, hers was more of a purple-toned red and wavy. Bre had always been a bit edgier and had often tried to get me to put color in my hair. Jet black was as brave as I could get, and with my tanned complexion, it worked.

  “I hit the biggest sale down at the mall. I tried to call you, but you never picked up. I assumed you were on shift.”

  “I miss everything.” I poked out my bottom lip and then Mom came in to hurry us up.

  “Dinner is ready, and I’ve made a salad.” She turned to walk away, and Bre glanced my way, mimicking my mother’s hand tossing of the salad. I nodded, and she made a face. She knew Mom well. The woman hadn’t made a meal much less a salad in her life.

  “Can’t wait.” Bre threw her arm around me, and we walked to the dining room where my parents were already seated.

  We chatted a little, mostly Bre and I, while we ate and then finally I couldn’t wait any longer. I needed to know what was going on and what the big surprise was.

  “So, are you going to tell me what’s going on? What’s this big news?” I smiled Dad’s way and hoped I could tell simply by the look on his face. He was much easier to read than my mother, but then he gave me a weary look.

  “You tell her, honey.” He took a drink and wiped his mouth. When I turned to my mother, she had tears in her eyes.

  “We’ve decided it’s time to go forth with the lawsuit. We filed the papers today.” She took a long pull from her drink, and I was certain it was laced with something stiff.

  Bre sat back in her seat and dropped her fork, and my stomach turned. I had hoped that my parents could move along and be satisfied with the insurance settlement, but they’d gone back and forth for months contemplating for the right time and if they should.

  “What’s changed? Why now?” I reached for some sort of understanding.

  My mother swirled her glass, clinking the ice in it. “Well, after paying the house off, there simply wasn’t much left for your father and me to retire on, not to mention we’d like to secure your future.”

  “So this is about money.” I knew my parents had blown through the life insurance money, but this was ridiculous. “Don’t you think you have enough?”

  “There was new evidence found by our investigators. It puts Mr. Walker in the pilot’s seat at the time of the crash. He wasn’t a licensed pilot,” Dad explained. “It’s perfectly within our rights, Lexa.”

  “No, I don’t have enough because I’ll never see my son again. You’re brother meant the world to me, Lexa, and because of some rich prick wanting to show off in the cockpit, I’ve got to live without him!” Mom threw back her drink and downed it.

  I couldn’t argue with her. I understood the pain of losing Shawn, but no amount of a settlement would make it right and the man she wanted to punish died along with my brother. There was nothing to gain, and both families had suffered enough.

  I’d heard that the Walkers’ son, Aiden, Allison’s brother, was the only surviving family member. I couldn’t imagine him losing his entire family. It didn’t seem right to sue someone who’d already lost so much. There was nothing left to gain, and I couldn’t help but feel that my brother wouldn’t want things this way, either. He’d loved Allison and wouldn’t want this.

  I only wished I could tell my parents, but I knew they wouldn’t understand. They hadn’t cared much about my opinions since the funerals when I’d wanted to go to Allison’s. I ended up skipping it out of respect for them, but I’d since felt so lonely in the world because neither of them had been there to support me in my grief.

  Thank goodness that I had Bre. She sat next to me wringing her hands in her lap, and I knew she was biting her tongue just as hard.

  Chapter Three

  Aiden

  For the first time in days, I woke up in my own bed instead of on the sofa; even better than that, I had managed to make it under a blanket. I pushed the covers off of me and sat up noticing the beer bottles that had collected on my bedside table. Mattie hadn’t made her way into my private room, and for that I was thankful. She wasn’t going to be happy with me when she saw how much laundry had piled up.

  Over the past year, I had discovered that I only needed so many shirts and pants, socks and underwear for this type of existence, and my effort to keep them clean had been the only chore I’d kept consistently. I wasn’t a total slob, even if I lived like one for the most part.

  Sure my house was a mess, but that’s because one night I’d had a party and never cleaned up, so the mess had only been around for a good solid six months. The party had been a fluke, and I didn’t know any of the people that showed up. I’d woken up naked with three women in my bed, and that’s about all I remembered. Once they all left, I’d thrown out the food they had lying around, showered, and got on my bike to go to the bar.

  And since other than showering daily and keeping my clothes and linens washed, I didn’t do anything else. Every meal was bought, and though I’d kept a pretty healthy diet, I’d stopped going to the gym.

  I stripped off my clothes, walked naked to the bathroom, and turned on the water. While it got hot, I stood at the sink and brushed my teeth, wondering how long I was going to let my beard get.

  My cell phone rang, and I walked back to my room to see that it was Layne Connor, my dad’s business partner at the law office. I ignored the call because I’d heard enough of his trying to get me on board at the firm. I didn’t care if my name was already on the letterhead, door, and the sign out front: I wasn’t much of a defender. I’d spent my time in law school hoping to be a prosecuting attorney, and since my parents’ death, I’d lost interest in it as much as I’d lost interest in seeing my face in the mirror.

  I brought the phone with me into the steamy bathroom and left it on the counter as I stepped under the spray.

  After washing up, I stepped out to find that Layne had called again, but I wasn’t in the mood. I hadn’t had enough alcohol in me to deal with his shit, so I wrapped a towel around me and went to my closet. I grabbed a clean shirt and a pair of jeans and got ready to go downstairs where my beer waited.

  In the fridge, I found the pot of
chicken soup, which had always been my favorite growing up. No one made it like Mattie, but I found myself not wanting to eat anything. Another glance had me cursing. She’s thrown out my beer and left fresh vegetables and some of my favorite power bars in its place. Everything else was gone.

  I closed the door and took the keys out of my pocket, but remembered my bike was at the bar. I’d have to take my old truck, which was my other standby. It wasn’t my favorite vehicle to drive, but at least I’d get my bike back safe and sound.

  I headed out to the bar, and before I got there, Layne had called again. I knew if I didn’t answer him soon, he’d come looking for me, especially since he’d never called so much in a day before. I decided to let him wait a while longer and went into the bar and took my favorite stool.

  “There’s the man. How’s it going?” Smitty, the old man who sat on the opposite end of the bar from me and spent more stool time there than I could handle, always had a greeting for me if nothing else.

  “Hey there, Smitty.”

  “Starting a bit early today, aren’t you?” Glen came out from the back with a confused look on his face. “Your bike is in the back. I figured you’d be around later, but damn.”

  “Yeah, I’m not sure I can handle what’s coming without a beer and apparently my maid threw out my beer.” I clapped my palm against the bar and Glen went over to pour me one.

  He placed it down in front of me and then went to tend to Smitty’s request. “So, what’s coming?” Glen took Smitty’s glass and poured him another.

  “I’m not sure. It’s Dad’s partner, Layne. He keeps calling me.” I took out my phone and glanced at it. I had a few missed calls from random women and then about ten from Layne throughout the morning.

  Glen tossed his rag over his shoulder and stepped up in front of me. “Why haven’t you answered your phone? It seems important.”

  “The last time I answered my phone when it was important, it was the police telling me that my entire family had died. I doubt it can be more important than that.”