Christmas Cowboy

by Claire Adams

  “This is true.” He smiled and changed the subject. “So, tell me, what are your plans for the holidays, anyway?” Paul asked. “The office will be closed for nearly three weeks; I assume you'll be jetting off to somewhere in Europe?”

  “I might,” I said, shrugging, and I clasped my hands over my upper stomach. “I haven't made any plans yet. Jamie and I were talking about doing another ski vacation, but I'm also drawn to someplace warmer this year. I don't know. We'll see. You know I hate making plans too far in advance. People would think I was growing responsible or something crazy like that. Being someone who flies by the seat of their pants instead of being a planner takes work. Believe me.” I gave a quirky smile.

  He chuckled and shook his head. “You’re too much, man. So, what are your plans tonight? You wanna grab dinner? We'll charge it to the company. Call it a business expense.”

  I laughed. “As though either of us needs to do that.” I shook my head. “Unfortunately, I have other plans for later, so I'll have to take a rain check. There's this hot new club downtown, and they've personally invited me.”

  “Ah,” Paul said. “At the risk of sounding like George or the rest of them, be careful.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, always am,” I said, even though we both knew it wasn't exactly true. Being careful sounded about as fun as having the flu.

  I tried to forget about the whole afternoon when I got to the club that night, but no matter how slick the place was, no matter how many pretty girls there were, I just couldn't seem to let it go. It was the patronizing tone, more than anything. The fact that George thought he could tell me to be on my best behavior for another week, as though he were my parent or something. We were all in this together. He wasn't that much older than me, even. And he had no right to speak to me like that in front of the other owners of our company.

  I slugged back another drink and flagged down the bartender for another. I could see a bit of nervousness in her eyes already like she thought I was maybe drinking a bit too much and was getting ready to cut me off.

  I gave her a charming smile and leaned over the bar. “Darling, trust me,” I drawled, reaching out to squeeze her hand, making her giggle a little. “I do this every week. More than every week.”

  “Yeah, okay,” she said, shaking her head. “But if anything happens to you, it's going to be on my head! I just got this job; I don't want to lose it on opening night.”

  “You won't,” I told her, projecting an air of flippant confidence that seemed to reassure her.

  “All right,” she said, pouring me another whiskey.

  I turned away from her and scanned the crowd, picking out my target for the night. She had shown up with a few of her friends, and she had to be a model or something like that. God, she was gorgeous: porcelain skin and short, spiky hair that emphasized the heart-shaped nature of her face. And her heels were a mile high. As I looked over, she was laughing at something her friend had said, tossing her head back. I smiled; I liked a girl who could laugh.

  George could never get with a girl like that, I thought viciously. That's why he's after me about cleaning up my image; he's just jealous.

  I swirled the whiskey in my glass and knocked it back, setting the thing down on the bar and making my way over to introduce myself. It wasn't long before she and I were nestled in one of the cozy booths in the back, just the two of us.

  “Come on, order anything you'd like,” I told the giggling girl. “Baby, I've got money, and I'm not afraid to spend it.”

  “I said, I just want a glass of wine,” she said. “It doesn't have to be anything fancy.”

  “How about this,” I told her. “I have a better bottle of wine than any of these back at my place. Plus, I live up in a penthouse with amazing views of the city. Why don't you come back with me and have a glass of wine there? We can start up the fireplace and cozy up under the blankets.”

  “You're so full of it, but maybe,” she said. She didn't seem bothered by me being full of myself. Her smile let me know she was hoping I would nudge her toward coming with me. It would make it easier on her if I pushed the decision a little. Tough luck.

  “It’s your call, sweet girl.” I shrugged as if my night would go on perfectly without her, because in all actuality, it would.

  “All right,” she said with a soft sigh. “Just let me tell my friends that I'm going off with you.”

  “You do that. I’ll be right here.” I turned and let my eyes move across the various bodies pressed against each other in the club. Funny how people wanted attention and affection so much that they would build a place to congregate half-dressed in hopes of lust ushering in lust. It was what it was, but it was odd.

  “I’m ready.” She grabbed my hand and tugged me toward the door.

  We tumbled out into the November air, and I wrapped an arm around her bare shoulders. “Didn't you bring a coat?” I asked.

  “Of course not,” she said, a challenge in her eyes. “Beauty is pain. I couldn’t have a coat covering up this.” She swept her hand down the front of her body.

  She was something to behold for sure.

  I laughed and slung my suit jacket over her shoulders. There was a crowd of people out in front of the club, and a few reporters as well. For a moment, I wondered who might be here, but of course, it was opening night, so half the city had probably turned out. I hadn't bothered to look around that night; I wasn't feeling particularly friendly.

  “Christian!” one of the reporters called, and I realized it was Kelly from The Latest. Oh, this should be good.

  She raised an eyebrow at the woman who was cozied up under my arm and shoved a microphone toward us. “Christian, is this the woman who you referenced during our interview? The one who you're thinking of settling down with?”

  You know what, George? Fuck you.

  I grinned at the reporter. “Nope,” I said cheerfully. “There never was any girl who I planned to settle down with; you fell for that one, though, didn't you? In fact, I don't even know this woman's name. And you know what? I'm going to take her home and fuck her anyway. Just like I fucked you, and just like I've fucked half the women in this city. Isn't that right, sweetheart?” I slapped the ass of the Girl of the Night, whatever her name was.

  “How dare you!” she said, yanking away from me and throwing my jacket on the ground. She scowled up at me. Then, she turned toward Kelly, looking worried. “You aren't going to air that, are you? I didn't consent to giving an interview, and my career-”

  “Should have thought of that before you decided to go home with Christian Wall,” Kelly said, a sneer on her face. “He doesn't give a shit about your career. I bet he doesn't even know what your career is or anything else about you. Everything that you told him tonight, he tuned it out. And yet-”

  “I knew what your career was,” I reminded Kelly smugly. “In fact, I even knew your name. Does that make you feel special? Because you weren't. In fact, you were the worst lay I've had in a while. And, honey, that’s saying something. Cause I’ve been around the block a few times.” I grabbed my cock just to accentuate what a dick I was. Living my life had grown exhausting. Sex was warmth and it was fleeting, but it’s all I had.

  Kelly stared open-mouthed at me. Girl of the Night threw herself at me; what, did she think she was going to hurt me with those plastic nails of hers or something? I easily pushed her away, and she stumbled in those heels of hers and toppled to the ground.

  A bouncer grabbed me gruffly by the arm and began hauling me along the street. “I think that's enough of that,” he said in a deep voice as if I’d been the one to start the drama.

  “Hey, come on now,” I told him, trying to get away from him. “Look, I'm just heading home, even without the floozy, whatever. You can keep her. Just let me go. I'll pay you $100 bucks.”

  “I'm calling the cops,” the guy said grimly. “You can't assault a woman like that and expect to get away with it.”

  “She assaulted me!” I snapped. “It's all there
on video. Just ask Kelly from The Latest.” The guy wasn't going to give up. “Jesus, I'll give you $750,” I told him.

  The man hesitated for a moment, and I knew in his face that I'd won. I smiled smugly, pulled out my wallet to write him a check, and then headed home. I'd just have to make sure to cancel the check first thing the next morning.

  Idiots. All of them.

  Chapter Four

  Gretchen

  I had just finished cooking breakfast the next morning when there was a knock on the door. I smiled a little to myself and wiped my hands off on a dishtowel, going to answer the door. The smell of greasy meat and cinnamon filled the air. It was a good scent. One that calmed me and left me feeling like there was no place quite as great as home.

  I opened the door to find Mina standing outside with a big smile on her pretty face.

  “Hey girl, get in here,” I said, giving Mina a hug.

  “Hey,” Mina said, returning the hug. “Thanks for inviting me over for breakfast. I just have nothing in the house at the moment. Except for pineapple! I always have pineapple, and I’m happy to share. I’ve tried just about every recipe known to man with the fruit.”

  I laughed. “Yeah, I can imagine that must get old after a while. Come on in. I have to get to work by ten for an appointment, so I don't have a ton of time, but we can at least chat a little.”

  “I can't believe you have work even on the weekends,” Mina said. “I think I'd go crazy. I need my downtime, you know?”

  “Don’t I. But it’s all good. I only do special requests on the weekends,” I reminded her. “This one is for one of my regulars who travels a lot for business. He's only back in town for a couple of days, and then he jets off again, so I told him I'd be flexible with his schedule.”

  “You're too nice,” Mina said, shaking her head. “What happened to putting yourself before your work?”

  I laughed. “It's only a one-hour appointment. And then I've got three more today, but it's nothing too busy, and I know all of them, so it's not like I have to suss out what they need or anything like that. They're easy appointments, and then I'm free the whole rest of the weekend, actually, unless someone calls last-minute and wants to book me for tomorrow.”

  “What are your plans for the rest of the weekend, when you're not working, then?” She made a plate and sat down with me.

  I shrugged and slowly chewed a bite of eggs. “Don't really have much on the schedule.”

  “So, you're only planning on going for a 50-mile run or something like that?” Mina asked, rolling her eyes.

  I laughed again. “Don't be silly. I'll probably go for a run this evening. It's good to keep active. Maybe I'll go over to the gym tomorrow, or go for a swim or something. I may try to go surfing; I've heard the waves are starting to get really good again. But I don't have any plans; I just kind of want to chill. I haven't had a chill day in a while.”

  “You're not up to anything in particular tonight?” Mina pressed, and I could tell from the glint in her eye that she had some sort of plan, probably one that I wasn't going to be interested in.

  I groaned. “Mina, I'm not going clubbing again,” I told her. “If you want to have a nice night in with a movie and a bottle of wine or something like that, I could probably be down, but-”

  “What about a luau?” Mina asked, her smile widening.

  I sighed. It could be fun. “Mina, I've been working hard all week,” I told her. “I've had an insane number of appointments. And I have four of them today. By that point, I'm going to be ready to just be off my feet and not trying to socialize with a bunch of random strangers.”

  Mina pouted a little. “But you almost never take whole day off. This would give you plenty of time to go out and let your hair down a little tonight, maybe meet a guy, and not have to worry about work tomorrow.”

  I laughed, of course that was what this was about. “Mina, I'm not trying to meet a guy,” I reminded her. But she wasn't going to take no for an answer. “Look, I'll think about it, okay? Thanks for inviting me. I'll let you know how I'm feeling after work.”

  “Fine,” Mina said, although I could tell she was a bit disappointed by my reluctance.

  “We’ll see.” I hated to disappoint her. “Maybe something will shift in the day and I’ll feel differently.”

  “Yay!” She wagged her eyebrows and clapped like a small child.

  I chuckled. “I said maybe.”

  As it turned out, my two afternoon appointments both canceled, and I found myself unexpectedly with a whole free afternoon and evening. And the whole next day as well. I couldn't remember the last time I'd had a day and a half off that I hadn't been on vacation. I didn't know what to do with myself.

  I went for a swim, and I took a nap, and then I called Mina. “Fine,” I told her. “I'll go to this luau, but I’m not staying there all night. We can go for a little while though.”

  Mina cheered on the other end of the phone. “I'll swing by to pick you up at seven,” she told me. “And thank you, Gretchen! I’m so excited.”

  “Me too.” Lies.

  Later that night, when we got there, I had to admit that I was glad that I had agreed to go to go. I looked around at the crowd and smiled. I knew most of them; that was what happened when you lived on an island for your whole life. Sure, there were a few tourists who had managed to find their way out there, but for the most part, it seemed to be a local affair. It had been a while since I’d come to one of these things.

  “How have you been, Gretchen?” Jenny asked me, giving me a warm hug. “I've heard business has been good over at the shop.”

  “It's been really good, actually,” I told her and returned the gesture, squeezing her tightly.

  “Amazing is more like it!” Mina interjected, her energy contagious. My poor best friend needed to get out more, which meant I did too.

  I laughed. “Yeah, it's been pretty busy. I feel like I never really get out anymore, but I love what I do, so I guess maybe that's a good thing.”

  “You're lucky that way,” Jenny agreed, nodding her head.

  “What, aren't you enjoying working at the café anymore?” I asked and crossed my arms over my chest as a warm breeze blew past us.

  “Oh, it's fine,” Jenny said. “Just not what I see myself doing for the rest of my life. I've been thinking about going back to school.”

  “Oh, wow! What are you wanting to study?” I asked and forced myself to focus on her. A feeling of trepidation sat on my shoulders, and I knew why. Lino, my ex, was most likely somewhere in the party, lurking on the edges of it. Beloved by everyone. But me.

  I flowed from conversation to conversation for a little while, almost feeling like things were going to be good, and then I saw him.

  I swallowed hard, knowing that I should go over and say hello to Lino but not sure what I wanted to say. There was a part of me that would never forgive him for what he had done to me. But at the same time, I couldn't deny that there had been problems with our whole relationship, and the further I got from being in a relationship with him, the more I was able to accept that, yes, there had been some serious problems there. We would never have worked out long-term.

  I liked him as a person, but that was it. Maybe it was about time we became friends again.

  As though drawn by my thoughts, Lino made his way through the laughing crowd toward me. I felt like maybe I should run from him, he was so predatory, but I was pinned there by his gaze.

  “Hey Lino,” I said hesitantly. “How are you?”

  Lino smiled down at me. “Hey Gretchen,” he said. “I’m good. Better now. You're looking beautiful as always.” His eyes raked over my white dress, stroking over my curves and undressing me with his gaze.

  I couldn't help but shudder a little. There had always been such fire between us, a fire that I still couldn't deny, even though I knew we were never going to sleep together again. “How is business at the dive shop?” I asked, not wanting to dwell on the past.

  “Good,
” Lino said. “It’s been really good this year. Lots of tourists coming down here. Just one of those years, I guess. But it's nice to have, especially after last year was so dead. It’s been busy as hell, which hasn’t give me much time to do the things I love, but it’s all good.” With the way he watched me, I couldn’t help but wonder if I were one of those things he loved. But no…that ship had sailed one stormy dark night, a long time ago.

  “Mmm, I can imagine,” I said. “Things have been good at the massage parlor too. I've been busy.” I tried hard not to let sarcasm slip into my voice seeing that he hadn’t asked about my business. Typical. He was focused on himself and not much more. Not unless it centered around him getting laid.

  “Yeah, I haven't seen you around the bars in ages,” Lino said as he continued to watch me closely.

  “You've been looking?” I asked, arching an eyebrow at him even though I knew this was dangerous territory and that I should be trying to get out of this conversation as quickly as possible.

  “Oh, don't try to be coy,” Lino said, shaking his head, a glint in his eye. He licked his lips, and something in my stomach tightened. “You know you're the sexiest thing on this island. I'm not the only person who's been looking for you.”

  I bit my lower lip. “Yeah, well.” I glanced around, eyes desperately casting about for someone else who I could run off to talk to. “Sexy isn’t something I’m interested in talking about.”

  Lino laughed. “Don't worry, I'm not going to make you do anything that you don't want to do,” he said. “But maybe we could get coffee at some point. It would be nice to catch up, Gretchen. It’s been a long time.” He reached out and tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear.

  I started to jerk back but decided that would be worse than just standing still. There was no way I was letting him know that I still had feelings for him after all the shit we’d been through.

  I sighed. “I don't think that I'm ready for that to happen yet, Lino,” I admitted. “I thought that maybe I was, but I don't think I am.”

  I was a bit disappointed by myself. I wanted to be ready to move on. I didn't want to look back anymore. But I could tell that Lino was still looking back. I knew what he was looking for. He wanted us to go behind some of the dunes and have sex. That wasn't about to happen.