9 Months Trilogy: A Novel of Horror and Suspense
Page 6
Make her think I’m cool enough.
Good start tonight - our first date - booked the best restaurant. There’s no chance she won’t be impressed. Least I hope there’s no chance she won’t be impressed - the amount of money this is going to cost.
Okay, another look in the mirror.... there’s no chance she won’t like me. Good food, nice restaurant and me on my best behaviour.....
“DARREN?!!?!? ARE YOU EATING DINNER?!”
“FUCK OFF!”
“WHAT?!”
Glad I’m ready.
I’ll be early but - can get out of this mad-house. Get some peace and quiet. And, hopefully, have a nice evening with Jessica.
One more time, looking in the mirror and admiring my reflection.... I can do this.
This is it.
This is the one.
No question about it.
This is the one.
* * * * *
“Can I see you again?”
End of the date. Gutted. Hopefully the start of something special, though.
“I’m not sure, after that dirty little trick,” she said, hopefully teasing me after the sneaky kiss on the lips, which I stole from her.
“Tomorrow?”
Am I being too keen?
Coming on too strong?
Careful.
It’s been a good evening. I don’t want to scare her off.
“Sure, in class,” she laughed as she opened the front door. “Thank you for a lovely evening.”
Cow.
She didn’t wait for my answer. I just stood there, a stupid smile stuck on my face. I think it was the same stupid smile which had been stuck on my face all evening. Can’t help it. It’s what she does to me. It’s how she makes me feel.
She closed the front door.
She’s joking.
In a minute, she’ll open the door again. Probably laugh at me.
I won’t mind. She can laugh at me as much as she wants.
Yep, any minute.
Any minute she’ll open the door.
Any.
Minute.
A couple of minutes pass.
She isn’t coming back out.
Don’t show your disappointment. Don’t show you’re desperate for her to come back out. Just give a cheeky little wave and walk away. See her tomorrow, in class - and see what happens.
After all, tomorrow’s another day.
Another chance to woo her.
Or, hopefully, continue wooing her.
I did a cheeky little wave, to her front door, just in case she was watching me from one of the windows, and turned away - before walking towards my car.
As I walked towards the car I became very self-conscious.
Clench the cheeks.
She might be hanging out of a window, checking me out.
Revenge, some might say, for me checking her out when I held the door open for her, at the restaurant. A sneaky little look at her bum.
Very nice it was too.
Holding the door open for women; the sneaky ‘bum look’ is the real reason behind that. It’s nothing to do with being a ‘gentleman’.
But - we’ll keep that to ourselves.
Don’t ruin it for the ladies.
I reached the car and opened the door. A final look to the house, a final grin - and I climbed into the car. Door pulled shut. Foot on clutch. Key turned in ignition. First gear selected. Indictor flicked. Biting point found. Handbrake off. Rolled off to a steady speed.
Good night, sweet Princess.
2.
“You seem distant,” I said, over the dinner table. “Where are you at?”
“I’m here,” she tried to reassure me, putting her hands on top of my own nervous hands, across the table.
Hide the nerves.
“Something is on your mind, I can tell.... I’m finally tuned into these sorts of things...”
“Nothing, I’m fine....”
“And now you’re lying.”
“I promise....”
“Still lying....”
“.... Everything is fine.”
“Scampi and chips?” said a waitress as she walked over to our table, balancing our two meals in her hands.
“Yes, please,” I said.
Good timing to the waitress; I won’t be leaving her with a tip.
The waitress placed the scampi plate in front of me and turned to Jessica, “And yours must be the gammon...”
“Yes, thank you,” she said as the plate was placed in front of her.
I wish I chose that. It looks nicer than my own meal.
Damn.
“Can I get either of you any sauces?”
“No, I’m good,” I said.
Please just fuck off.
“Well, enjoy your food!”
The waitress, job done, walked away.
Jessica wasted no time in getting stuck in, “It looks good....”
She flashed me a smile.
God, I love her smile.
God, I love her....
I love her.
Scary.
Is it a good thing to fall for someone so quickly?
“No good?” she asked.
Whoops. I was staring.
Go back to the previous conversation.
“See, when a woman says she is fine....”
“I’m fine!”
“Like that... it means - everything is far from fine.”
She laughed, “I mean it - I’m fine...”
“It means men should cower in fear, somewhere out of sight... somewhere the women can’t find them or get to them...”
“I’m pregnant!”
Silence.
Erm...
More silence.
I’m staring again. I know I am.
Staring.
Blankly.
Is this a good thing?
Bad thing?
Say something.
Say anything.
Erm.
Reassure her.
Everything will be okay.
Come on, say something.
Speak.
Nothing.
“I’m sorry - I didn’t know how to tell you.”
“Is it mine?!”
I shouldn’t have said that.
Why did I say that?
Stupid brain...
“Of course it’s yours!”
Offended.
Well done, me.
Apologise.
“I’m sorry - I don’t know why I asked that....”
“I’ve only slept with you.... you were my first...” she said.
“And you were my first,” I insisted. “We only did it once with protection.”
No answer to that.
“Well, now what?” I asked as she started to eat her meal.
No answer. She signalled to me her mouth was full.
Convenient.
“Do your mum and dad know?”
She shook her head.
“And you’re sure?”
Still with the chewing.
Hurry up, woman.
“Do we keep it?”
I’m not sure how I want her to answer that.
Shouldn’t have asked. Should have just suggested what I thought was a good idea.
What is a good idea?
I’ve never thought about this before.
Never been on my mind.
“Well,” I repeated, “do we keep it?”
Damn it. Think before you speak!
“I’m not sure. What do you think?”
Silence.
I would have rather we skipped the unnecessary silences.
I smiled nervously, “I’m thinking I wish I never asked what was wrong.”
I liked where we were going, as a couple, but - I’m not sure about this...
I’ve only just turned eighteen. This is a massive step for me.
But at least it means she is mine.
With a baby - we’d be a proper family.
Together
.
I like that.
It’s what I always wanted.
Me and her - together.
Admittedly, now we have a child in the equation too but.... it could be nice.
No.
It will be nice.
“I think I’d make a great dad,” I said, eventually - a smile on my face.
Wait a minute...
She isn’t smiling.
“You don’t think so?” I asked - scared of the answer.
She didn’t say anything and yet the silence said everything.
Gutted.
I think.
There was no doubting it was a massive step but, even so.... it would be great. And bring us closer together. Who wouldn’t want that.
Unless...
Maybe she is doubting us.
Doubting us as a couple.
3.
Sat in my bedroom alone. My brain is still buzzing from the earlier conversation.
Me - a dad.
Me?
A fucking dad!
I can’t believe it.
Truly great news.
The best news I’ve had for a long time.
How I didn’t blurt it out to my mum and dad as soon as I got through the front door, I don’t know. I don’t know how they’d react but - on the off chance they are happy - I don’t want to get their hopes up just for them to be dashed if she chooses an abortion.
No.
I can’t let her.
I can’t let her get rid of my baby.
Our baby.
We’re in this together.
We’re a couple, after all.
Our baby.
I like that.
I like the way it rolls off the tongue.
“Hi, this is my partner Jessica and my son.... pleased to meet you.”
I smiled.
No.
Stop.
Don’t get ahead of yourself.
She isn’t even sure she wants to keep it. Don’t get your hopes up...
A text.
Text her.
I leaned over to the bedside cabinet and grabbed my mobile phone, where I threw it when I got in from our date...
A text message.
We can make this work. The two of us. I’ll stand by you no matter what you choose but we can make this work.
Send?
Sent!
Now, just wait.
Hopefully she’ll see me as thoughtful. She’ll see I’m not going to try and force her to make a decision. She’ll see I’ll support her no matter what. She’ll see, ultimately, I’ll stand by her and we can make it work - with a baby. Hopefully, enough of a jog to make her want to keep it. After all, she’s a woman.... I thought all women, deep down, want a baby on some level.... their maternal instincts kicking in?
What do I know?
I don’t know women at all. Don’t even pretend otherwise.
Anger.
Where did that come from?
I can’t let her do this. I can’t let her get rid of it. It’s my baby.
My baby.
How dare she even think about getting rid of it. I won’t let her....
STOP IT!
Don’t think like that. She won’t. I’m sure she would haven’t have told me about it if she was just going to bin it....
Bin it...
It....
Him...
Murder.
I’m sure she won’t murder him. I’m sure she doesn’t want to murder him. I’m sure she just wanted to hint at murdering him to see how I would react. She just wants to be sure I really want him...
Yes, that’s it.
A test.
A test to see if I really want a baby. A test to see if I would stand by her through this.
Well, of course I will.
A couple. That’s what we are. Couples do everything together and this is just the natural progression of being a couple. Although, I have to confess, I didn’t think it would be this fast.
But, it’s nice.
I’m happy.
I laid back down on the bed. My head on the pillow. Eyes shut.
I’m happy.
I can’t wait to see her again.
* * * * *
It’s been two days.
Two days and no word.
I had started to worry.
Panic.
Started to think she had done something stupid.
Without telling me.
Started to think I shouldn’t have given her space. I didn’t want to give her space, I just thought it was the best thing I could do - especially after she didn’t come back to my text message the other night.
I thought she would have come back to me sooner.
Still - she’s come back now.... that’s the main thing.
Today’s a new day.
A new day and a text message waiting for me on the mobile phone.
She needs to talk to me.
When I read the text, my heart skipped a beat and I felt a surge of adrenaline. I wonder, will this be a good talk or a bad one? She’s had a couple of nights to think things through.
I wonder if she’s told her parents.
I replied I was free later tonight and offered her out for a meal. Best ask mum if I can borrow some money. Dating is nice but, Goddamn, it’s expensive.
My phone buzzed through another text message.
I guess I don’t need to borrow any money.
No meal.
She just wants to meet up - round her house.
Oh shit, I wonder if it will just be the two of us or whether it’s a chat with her mum and dad too.... Maybe she’s told them. Maybe they want to talk to me – see if I’m serious.
Not that it will be a problem.
I am serious.
I want her.
I want this baby.
I quickly text back that I’ll be with her by seven and put the phone down on the bed, to my side. I feel nervous. Should I have a chat with my own mum and dad first? No. Not yet. See what she says first.
Take it from there.
I couldn’t help but smile.
Today is the first day of the rest of my life. Today - today is going to be a good day.
I can feel it.
4.
I’m early.
Hang back or just go in?
Can’t believe how nervous I am; even my palms are sweaty.
Just go in - get this over and done with. See what she has decided....
I wonder, should I have brought flowers? Champagne just in case she says we’re having the baby? No.... Stop getting ahead of yourself. Could still be a ‘no’.
Just go in.
Get this over with.
I opened the car door and climbed out, slamming the door closed behind me. No need to lock it, not in this area.
My heart is beating faster than before as I walked towards the front door. Just in case she was watching me from the window, I casually wiped my hands down the front of my jeans - get rid of some of this excess sweat.