A Forever Kind of Guy: The Braddock Brotherhood, Book 2

by Barbara Meyers

  Dear Hayley,

  First of all I want to tell you I’m sorry. For everything. Saying “I’m sorry” doesn’t make what I did to you okay or forgivable, but I need you to know I regret everything I put you through. None of it was your fault. I was a sorry S.O.B. out of his head on drugs and booze and my own misery. I know I blamed you. It was easier than blaming myself or taking responsibility for my own life. But you were never to blame for the things I did.

  I’ve lost you. It kills me to say it, think it or write it, but I know it’s true. I killed whatever love you had for me, and I’ll probably regret that forever, no matter how much I deserve it.

  My worst fear is no one will ever love me the way you did. Believe me, I’ve had a lot of time to think since I sobered up. It’s pretty much all I do. Good thing I’m not the suicidal type, huh?

  I was a shit about the divorce. Again, not what you deserved. I’m not proud of myself or the way I behaved. I should have stood up for you and I didn’t. Somebody should have kicked me to the curb for being such a jerk.

  I’ve apologized to Andre and he accepted. He told me about Steffie. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you when she died. I think it’s great that you took Fletcher. He’s a lucky kid. We always talked about having kids someday, didn’t we? I’m sorry now we never got around to it, because maybe they’d be a reason you’d give me another chance to be there for you. You’ll be a terrific mother.

  Anyway, I told the lawyers to put a check in here for you, and a whole bunch of legal papers they claim are necessary.

  You probably don’t care, but my new goal in life is to stop being a self-centered jerk and try to be the man I should have been so you’d still be here. Don’t laugh, but I’ve been in therapy and I think it’s helping.

  This is probably impossible, and I know it’s asking a lot, but I hope I haven’t killed everything you ever felt for me. Maybe we can be friends or something. Maybe I can call you every once in a while just to talk and see how you are.

  Love always,

  Trey

  Tears filled her eyes and ran down her cheeks as she read and re-read his letter along with the other enclosures. Even though it was too little and much too late, Trey had directed his attorneys to give Hayley more than she’d originally asked for as a divorce settlement.

  Now? she wanted to say to him. Now, you’re giving me this?

  For more than a year she’d barely been able to make ends meet. Her financial situation was one of the reasons she’d given up Fletcher.

  Would the money have made a difference?

  Hayley gazed out at her surroundings and pondered that question. Maybe. Maybe not. Financial security was not going to magically turn her into the best parent for Fletcher. She was still convinced of that. But it would have made things easier.

  Certainly money would have made it easier to create a new life and new identities for herself and Fletcher had she chosen to go that route.

  Why, she wondered, was everything coming together for her now? Ray hadn’t dumped her when she’d given Fletcher up for adoption as she’d feared he would. In fact, he’d been even more attentive and supportive, if that were possible. Even her “career”, such as it was, seemed to be coming together. In spite of her doubts about her own qualifications, she’d come up with some ideas for the Girls Fitness Academy. She’d had another meeting with Pablo last week. Though there were no guarantees, he was certain he could acquire the funding for it, and he’d assured her that the Y would reimburse her tuition if she decided to complete her degree, something he strongly encouraged her to do.

  But what good was financial security, a career, a relationship? She’d lost Fletcher. She’d always wonder how he was, what became of him, but she’d never know. He’d grow up to be a man, and he’d forget her. Maybe he’d forget Steffie too, who’d given birth to him and did her best to be a mother to him, but she didn’t know how.

  And neither did I, Hayley thought sadly. She hadn’t a clue how to mother that little boy.

  Again came the thought that Ray had done a better job of parenting Fletcher than she had. He’d drawn Fletcher out of his shell with Oscar. He treated Fletcher like an equal, never making a judgment about his lack of speech as many people did. Maybe somebody like Ray would adopt Fletcher. Someone who had a wife to be a mother to him. Maybe they had other children as well. Fletcher could have a whole family to love him and accept him.

  Hayley tried to smile at the thought that Fletcher would be surrounded by people who loved him. But the smile fought with the tears that still pressed behind her eyes at her own sadness. She’d miss him like crazy. She hadn’t known how much until now. She’d given him up, let him go to strangers, believing he’d be better off. But would he? Hadn’t he already been surrounded by people who loved him? Her and Ray. Molly. Rick and Kaylee. Somehow she’d already created the kind of family for Fletcher she’d been so sure he needed.

  You’ll be a terrific mother. Trey probably knew her better than anybody, yet he’d never told her that before. And why it should mean so much to her now, she couldn’t say. But what if he was right? Maybe she had a higher learning curve than other women, but who was to say she couldn’t learn to be the kind of mother Fletcher needed?

  She sat up straighter as another revelation struck her. And who said she had to move to L.A. to have a career and finish her degree? Pablo had offered her those same opportunities at the local Y? She no longer felt the need to move across the country to get away from Trey and her bad memories. She was over him. She’d known that for weeks. Her past was behind her, and she had only the future to look forward to. A future created by her own choices and decisions.

  She stared at her surroundings as if she’d never seen them before. The huge oak trees shading the yard in front of the duplex. The small town street with no sidewalks bordered with small family homes, minivans and compact cars in the driveways. Though unpretentious, the neighborhood had always somehow infused her with a sense of security. Could this be where she was meant to be? What had happened to her desire to leave here as soon as she could?

  That desire seemed to have dissipated in direct proportion to the growth of her relationship with Ray. He’d stuck it out, even when she made it clear she had no intention of adopting Fletcher. But would he, could he, forgive her that? More importantly, would she be able to forgive herself if she didn’t at least try to be a mother to her stepsister’s child? Hadn’t she promised Steffie that she would do right by Fletcher? What if adopting him was the right thing for both of them?

  She’d been so determined to stick to her plan she’d lost sight of the fact that the plan had become unnecessary. For so long it had been the only thing getting her through each day of these past few months—the shell-shock when her divorce was finalized, her grief over Steffie, the bureaucratic red tape keeping Fletcher had required, her worry over his welfare when he refused to speak. The plan for her future had been like a life preserver, something she’d been swimming for, looking forward to. Without it she’d been afraid she’d simply give up and let the wayward waves of life take her where they would. She’d been so focused on the plan, she hadn’t realized she’d reached a safe shore weeks ago. She’d been hanging on to that life preserver, afraid to let go. She didn’t need it anymore, but maybe she’d hung on too long.

  Niko’s words came back to her. Living in fear ain’t no way to live.

  What if it wasn’t too late? She stood abruptly, the papers and check falling to the floor. What if she could stop the adoption?

  She raced inside to grab her purse and car keys.

  The Mustang flew over the back roads while Hayley’s mind raced. Butterflies set up a constant drum in her stomach, not in excitement or anticipation, but in potential disappointment. What would she say if she got there in time? Sorry, you can’t have Fletcher. I changed my mind. I want to adopt him.

  Surely the potential adoptive parents were under no obligation to give up their claim on Fletcher. What if they said no? Ha
yley chewed on her bottom lip. They wouldn’t, she decided. She’d beg and plead and promise until they agreed to give Fletcher back to her. Forever.

  She smiled a little at the thought. Ray would be part of that forever too. She hadn’t believed in the possibility of forever in such a long time. But if she, or maybe she and Ray, adopted Fletcher, he’d be their son forever. She wouldn’t have to wonder years from now how he turned out, where he was or what he’d accomplished in his life. She’d be right there every step of the way, cheering him on. She almost laughed at the thought. She hadn’t felt like cheering for anything or anyone in a very long time. Maybe she needed to learn to be her own cheerleader, to believe she could win even when it seemed the odds were against her.

  She reached the outskirts of Jannings Point and realized she didn’t know where the adoption proceeding was taking place. The courthouse possibly?

  At a stoplight, she retrieved her cell phone and punched in Callie’s office number. When Callie didn’t pick up, she was offered the option of leaving a message on voice mail or being routed to the main switchboard. She punched in two for the switchboard.

  The reluctant receptionist wouldn’t give her specifics about the hearing, only telling her that such proceedings were normally held in a judge’s chamber at the courthouse.

  Hayley turned right and breathed a sigh of relief when she found a parking place in the courthouse lot. She ran into the building and slowed immediately for the security inspection. Obediently she placed her purse on the conveyor belt and got in line for the walk through the metal detector.

  Once through, she approached the information desk manned by two uniformed sheriff’s deputies, one of whom she recognized from the Y. His gaze flickered over her in surprised recognition.

  She gave him her best smile. “Hi, how are you?”

  He grinned back. “Doing okay. How’s it going?”

  “Um, I’m supposed to attend an adoption hearing in the judge’s chambers this morning, but I forgot the judge’s name and I don’t know where it is.”

  “That’d be Judge Wilkinson. Second floor. Anteroom C.”

  “Oh, thanks. Thank you so much.” She turned for the elevator, nearly bouncing up and down in nervousness and anticipation. What if she was too late? What if she wasn’t?

  “Stairs might be faster,” the deputy called out. “Turn left at the top. It’s the third door on your right.”

  She glanced over her shoulder. “Thanks.”

  She took the stairs two at a time, and in seconds she was in front of the door. She took a deep breath, knocked twice and entered. The buzz of conversation inside the room ceased. She stopped short, the door drifting to a close behind her as she stared at the familiar faces of those gathered around a large conference table all turned toward her.

  Her mouth dropped open in surprise, but no words came out until her gaze zeroed in on Ray’s. He smiled and stood to approach her. He took her hand, kissed her cheek and whispered in her ear. “I knew you’d come.”

  She stared at him, her gaze briefly flickering to the others in the room. Callie was there, of course, but so was Roscoe, dressed neatly in a short-sleeved, blue-striped shirt and navy slacks. Kaylee and Rick smiled back at her, as did Lena and Ken. Lena and Ken? Her surprise turned to shock when she spied not only Andre and Phil, but Paige and Lonny as well. A middle-aged man in a blue pinstriped suit and burgundy tie occupied the seat at one end of the scarred conference table. He must be Judge Wilkinson.

  Her friends stepped forward to greet her. Paige was the last to envelop her in a hug, and Hayley whispered to her, “I don’t understand. What’s going on?”

  Paige squeezed her and let go, whispering, “It’ll be fine. You’ll see.”

  Except for the judge, she knew everyone in the room. Where were Fletcher’s adoptive parents then? Fletcher slid off his chair and hugged her legs. Automatically she patted his back and bent to drop a kiss on his head. “Hi, sweetie.” He tilted his head back and held his arms up. She picked him up and hugged him to her, determined to never let him go.

  “What’s going on?” This she directed at Ray.

  “We were waiting for you.” He grinned at her.

  “Waiting for me?”

  The judge looked at his watch. “Pardon me, Miz Christopher. I’m Judge Wilkinson.” He nodded in her direction. “I have a custody hearing in half an hour. Now that all the parties are present, could we move forward?”

  “I thought—there must be some mistake,” Hayley stuttered. She looked around the room as if she could find an explanation there. “I thought this was Fletcher’s adoption proceeding.”

  “It is.” Ray guided her to the chair next to his.

  Her gaze moved around the table once more. Rick and Kaylee smiled encouragingly. Callie gave her a triumphant nod. Roscoe’s grin stretched from ear to ear. Even Lena and Ken offered her encouraging smiles and nods of approval. Fletcher settled into her lap as soon as she sat down.

  “Miz Christopher,” the judge began, “Now that you’re here, we can move forward.”

  Exasperated, Hayley said, “Would someone please explain what’s going on?”

  Callie held up a hand when Ray started to speak. “Ray arranged to adopt Fletcher when you decided not to.”

  Hayley stared first at Callie and then at Ray. “But you never said a word.”

  “Because you made it clear that you didn’t think you were the best candidate,” Callie went on. “He didn’t want to put any pressure on you.”

  Hayley looked at Ray and he nodded.

  “When it came time to draw up the papers, he asked me to create two sets of documents. One in his name only and another with both your names. We been sittin’ here for fifteen minutes listening to his assurances that you’d be here.”

  Judge Wilkinson sighed and pushed his cuff back to take a look at his watch. “Miz Christopher, I understand you’ve been through the approval process required by the State of Florida to become an adoptive parent, so I’ll ask you now, by your presence here today is it your intention to legally adopt the minor child, Fletcher Luis Mariano?”

  It was Hayley’s turn to smile. “Yes, sir, it is.”

  Ray squeezed her hand. She squeezed back.

  “Then let’s get to it.” He nodded at Callie. “Miz Maxwell?”

  The next half hour passed in a daze for Hayley as she listened and nodded and signed her name numerous times next to Ray’s.

  The judge stood and congratulated them. They were now Fletcher’s legal parents. The enormity of what she’d committed to washed over Hayley, but she didn’t have time to think about it as chatter and congratulations broke out, and she was hugged and fussed over by everyone present, including Ray’s mother. “You’re just what he needs,” Lena murmured in her ear. “And so is that precious little boy.”

  “Okay,” Kaylee called out, as they reached the steps outside the building. “The birthday party’s at our house. We’ll see you there.”

  Ray hadn’t let go of her hand while they made their way out of the building, and he still held it. “Birthday party?” she asked.

  He gave her a sheepish grin. “It’s my birthday.”

  “Your birthday! Oh, Ray, how could I not know that? I didn’t get you anything.”

  He pulled her close. “You’ve given me everything I wanted.” He bent to kiss her, but Fletcher wormed his way between them, reaching his arms up toward Hayley and chanting something that sounded like. “Mommm, mommmm.”

  Hayley glanced from Fletcher to Ray. “Did he just say what I thought he said?”

  “I think so.”

  She swung Fletcher up and held him tightly. His arms circled her neck, and he squeezed her back. “Oh, Fletcher, I love you so much.”

  Hayley couldn’t quite make out the garbled sound he made in reply, but she decided it was his version of “I love you too.”

  “Ready to go?” Ray asked.

  “I’m ready for anything.”

  Chapter Twenty-Nine />
  “I did it again, didn’t I?” Hayley asked Paige. They’d managed to escape the party and step outside together to stroll arm in arm along the tree-lined street in front of Rick and Kaylee’s house.

  “Did what?”

  “Messed up our plans.”

  “Oh hush,” Paige said. “You didn’t mess up anything.”

  “I had a plan, though, just like when we were in college. And I swore this time I wouldn’t let a man get in the way.”

  Paige gave her a gentle nudge with her hip. “Just between you and me, I don’t think he messed anything up for you. And he certainly isn’t standing in your way. On the contrary, I think Ray’s the kind of guy who’s going to be standing beside you every step of the way. Forever.”

  Hayley hadn’t had a minute alone with Ray all day, yet a new sense of confidence infused her. Her future with Ray and Fletcher, her new job at the Y, even completion of her college education had been settled. For so long the possibilities for her future had spun around her like sand particles in a cyclone with her caught in the middle unable to grasp the ones she wanted, until they all fell into place today. Instead of the rather murky concept of what might happen once she put her L.A. relocation plan into place, she had a clear vision of the direction she was headed.

  Hayley smiled. “Yeah. He’s a forever kind of guy, that’s for sure.”

  They walked for a few minutes in silence before Hayley said, “But what about you? You’re going to need help once the baby comes. And I won’t be there. I feel like I’m letting you down again.”

  Paige grinned. “Well don’t. I already hired your replacement. Replacements, I should say.”

  “You have? Who?”

  “Andre and Phil.”

  “Andre and Phil? How could I not know about this?”

  “Because we’ve all been plotting behind your back.” Paige gave Hayley another hip nudge. “Andre and I’ve been in touch more so than usual the last few months, ever since he came to visit you and met Ray.”

  “Oh really?”