Molly in the Middle

by Stobie Piel

  "I am not lovesick."

  He kissed her again.

  "I am not high-strung or worried or . . ."

  "Nervous."

  "Or nervous. Miss Lindsay, I am enchanted."

  He was lying on top of her, his weight supported on his strong arms. His hair fell around his face, his eyes shone. She should be shocked. She wasn't. Because I am Scottish, and the Scots are practical. Miren eased her arms around his neck. "This is no way to treat your fiancée."

  "My sweet, precious angel, it is the only way."

  Miren opened her mouth to speak, but he stopped her wordswith a kiss. His hair fell around her face, a primeval veil. He kissed the corner of her mouth, her cheek. He bent to kiss her throat, and she closed her eyes and moaned.

  Nathan's breath felt unusually hot and moist. The smell wasn't quite so pleasant as she imagined. It smelled like . . . dog food. Miren opened her eyes. ''Molly!"

  Nathan groaned, rested his forehead on hers, then looked over his shoulder. "Molly. Maybe you'd like to go outside?"

  Molly panted happily, wagging her tail. She placed a paw on Nathan's shoulder. Miren blushed. "She thinks you want to play, because we're . . . you know . . ."

  "I do want to play, but not with her."

  Molly hopped down from the bed and whisked to the door. She scratched to go out. Miren eyed Nathan doubtfully. "She knows."

  Nathan sighed. "Of course." He left Miren's side and opened the door for Molly. She trotted out to join Flip, and Nathan returned to Miren. "We're alone . . . at last."

  Miren took a quick breath. Alone. He intended to make love to her. She would be his woman, in body and in her heart. But she wouldn't be his wife. "So we are." Her confidence dwindled. She didn't feel practical anymore. She felt nervous.

  I want you. There was no denying her desire. Once, the role of mistress had appalled her. But Dr. Patterson had attempted to coerce her, to manipulate her into his bed. He'd used his power, and preyed upon her fear. Nathan wasn't appealing to fear. He appealed to her senses, and her secret desires.

  Nathan settled himself on the bed beside her. He touched her hair and stroked it back from her cheek. "You and I would be extraordinary lovers. And we both know it. Maybe you don't know it from experience, but you know."

  Miren took another gulp of air, but she didn't disagree. She couldn't.

  Nathan untangled her hair, softening it over her shoulder. "You are beautiful in moonlight."

  "Like you." Her voice sounded very small, tense. He smiled, and her heart fluttered.

  His hand went to her cheek, grazing her skin gently with his thumb. "The temptation to seduce you grows stronger every time I see you."

  Why on earth was he hesitating? He'd won. When she thought, she found reasons to deny herself his company. But when he kissed her, her thoughts fled and left nothing but desire. Nathan sighed, then bent to kiss her cheek.

  "If you will promise to refrain from igniting my ardor, I will leave you unscathed this night."

  "Why?" She felt relieved, and she felt disappointed.

  "Because I came to you." Nathan took her hand and kissed it. "It isn't the Seneca way. A woman goes to a man for her pleasure, not the other way around. Simon informed me that this trait was true of a Scotsman, too. So it comes from both sides of my blood."

  "That isn't the reason."

  "No, it isn't. For a reason I don't completely understand, I find myself averse to coercing you into anything."

  "Other than an engagement."

  "That was a question. You answered as you saw fit."

  "True." Miren's gaze lingered on his face. "Then you're going back to the manor?"

  Nathan huffed, stretched his tall body down on the bed beside her, and pulled the quilt over both of them. "I'm not going anywhere, woman. I haven't slept at all tonight. You have infected my thoughts and my dreams. I wake and find myself worrying about you. If I sleep in proximity, I trust my dreams will allow peace."

  He closed his eyes. Miren stared, confused. He didn't move, his breaths came even and deep. "A pleasing admission." She paused, chewing her lip. "As it happens, I dream of you also. So I think your plan is a good one."

  He nodded, but he didn't look at her. Miren waited anothermoment, but he made no move. "This is scandalous, you know," she said.

  "Um."

  Miren didn't care. "But since we are both clothed, honor is maintained."

  He opened one eye and glanced at the collar of her nightgown. "If you want to call yourself clothed, wearing that flimsy, see-through fabric meant for tantalizing a male and nothing else"

  Miren yanked the quilt to her neck. "It was meant for comfortable sleeping!"

  He chuckled, to indicate he considered her explanation weak.

  "It is so!"

  "Um."

  Miren lay fidgeting. Nathan breathed slow and deep. "I had no idea you would burst into my cottage"

  "Quiet, woman. I'm trying to sleep."

  She grit her teeth, jammed her head onto her pillow, and forced her eyes shut. She knew he was smirking. "I suppose you ripped off your coat, rolled up the sleeves of your pirate costume, and exposed your bronzed muscles just to keep cool?"

  "Yes." His smile grew, but he didn't open his eyes. Miren flushed pink in the night. She'd revealed her close scrutiny of his body, and admitted his appeal. Curses!

  "You shocked the young ladies, you know."

  "Which is why Lady Sarah asked if I would 'pleasure her to the limit of her endurance'"

  Miren shot up in bed, aghast. "She never did!"

  "She said she couldn't allow me 'penetration,' but she knew several other ways to please a man. Her virginity is of paramount concern. Almost as much as her lust."

  Miren shook her head. "I don't believe you."

  "She punctuated the request with a well-practiced squeeze."

  "Squeeze? Where?"

  "Where I'd notice it most."

  "No, no, no. You are making this up to shock me. It's impossible."

  He still hadn't opened his eyes. "You are so innocent."

  "You are teasing me. Very funny." Miren lay back down beside him, her hands folded over her breast. Her brow furrowed tight. "Lady Sarah is younger than myself by several years. At most, she is eighteen."

  Nathan slid his hand down his side, fished around for something, then held up a glittering object. His eyes stayed shut. He even yawned. Miren took the object. "An earbob." She drew a clearing breath. "Lady Sarah's earbob." She handed it back to him. "How did you get this?"

  "She gave it to me"Nathan yawned again"in order that I might find cause to return itat an appropriate time."

  "It doesn't make sense. She can't have expected to simply retire with you to a bedroom, without anyone noticing, for an . . . event that must take, well, a bit of time to complete." Miren paused. "Although rams are fairly speedy. True, Huntley hasn't been very active since winter, which is why my ewes had no lambs this spring . . ."

  Nathan finally opened his eyes. "I trust you're not comparing me to Huntley, woman."

  "No, just speculating . . . I understood couples generally take their affections to a bed." She remembered they were in bed now, and squirmed uncomfortably.

  "Lady Sarah mentioned nothing about a bed. For her needs, a wardrobe closet was good enough."

  "That is disgusting. One couldn't lie down in a closet."

  "I don't believe Lady Sarah's intentions required lying down."

  Miren lay very stiff, shocked beyond words as the sordid image throbbed in her brain. When her voice finally returned, it came like a squeak. "Did you . . . did you return the earbob?"

  Nathan held up the earbob again as evidence. "No."

  Miren started to feel relieved, then remembered the course of the garden party. "Did she make this suggestion before or after my sheep invaded the party?"

  "Before, of course. I didn't see her afterwards, and by then I was a betrothed man."

  "That wouldn't stop such a female." Miren's lips tightene
d into a round ball. "Then you didn't deny her."

  "I didn't get the chance."

  "You were interrupted! And you kept her earbob, which has to mean you were going to return it!" Miren wheeled around on the bed, braced her shoulders against the cubby wall, mustered every speck of her strength, and pushed him with her feet.

  He wasn't expecting attack. Nathan thumped to the floor with a satisfying grunt.

  Miren scrambled to the bedside and leaned over the edge. "You are evil beyond measure to tell me this story. I suspect you did it in vengeance, because you promised 'war.'" Miren pointed down at him. "But the first casualty is mine!"

  Nathan sat up. He looked so calm. Innocent. "Oh, no!" He grabbed her in one swift motion and dragged her from the bed. She fell on his lap, ready to fight.

  He caught her fists in his hands and kissed her. Miren fought the temptation to kiss him back, and twisted her face away. "You will stop."

  He kissed her cheek, then cradled her head on his shoulder. "You care."

  "I do not." Miren rested against him, knowing she cared very much. "Why did you tell me this?"

  "I don't know." Nathan drew a long breath, then rested his face against the top of her head. "I think because it bothered me."

  Miren peeked up at him. "You mean you found her attentions insulting?" She hoped this was the case, and suspected it wasn't.

  "On the contrary, I should have been flattered. I should have been aroused, and I should have taken her. The pirate that left American shores would have taken her."

  "You weren't a pirate, Nathan. You were a sea captain . . . Perhaps you didn't want to engage her innocent heart."

  Nathan scoffed. "'Innocent' is the last term a man would apply to Lady Sarah. And she wasn't looking for marriage, either. She is unofficially promised to an English marquess."

  "How foul! She wanted the use of your body, because it's such a strong body and might afford much enjoyment." Miren blanched and buried her head on his shoulder. Nathan chuckled with masculine pride.

  "Thank you. Yes, she wanted that. But such women often find less satisfaction in the body's delights than you'd think. I believe they gauge their value from their ability to attract and arouse mento prove to themselves they have power, that they're more desirable than other women. So they choose the handsomest, strongest male and aim for his weakest spot."

  "Your vanity astounds me . . . And I'm sure you're wrong. I think she just wanted you."

  "You wouldn't understand, because you do just want me." Miren braced, but Nathan continued, unaffected by her potential wrath. "You don't count your value by your ability to control others."

  "How do you know so much about women?"

  "No man knows much about women. But as it happens, I knew another woman like Lady Sarah."

  "Another noblewoman?"

  "No. She was Onondaga. Although by their terms, she might be considered nobility. She came to our village with her father, head of the Onondaga Clan of the Deer. She came to me late in the night and"

  Miren held up her hand. "Don't tell me. What happened afterwards?"

  "I wasn't her first lover, but the next morning I asked for her hand. She declined."

  "Why?"

  "Another man had asked for her already. His position was greater than mine. He was older, and she considered him a better husband. My attention flattered her, made her superiorin her eyesto other women."

  "Did you love her?"

  "I thought so. A boy of sixteen mistakes sex for love easily, my dear. But my reaction was more one of injured pride than the heart's pain. My father told me this, but I wouldn't listen. It was then that I joined the Union Army and left my people. I learned soon enough that women in the white man's world maneuvered to the same standards, although beneath different titles. I learned to keep my heart out of it, and seek pleasure where it was offered."

  "Which you offer to me."

  "It has its delights, Miren."

  Miren sat back on his lap and touched his face. "I can imagine that." Nathan met her eyes steadily, without assuming that her reply meant acquiescence. He looked vulnerable, sweet, sitting on the floor where she'd shoved him. Yet all she longed for glittered in his dark eyes.

  "I do not think it wise to desire a man who hides his heart," she said.

  "You may be right."

  "It's not practical."

  "No."

  Miren ran her fingers through his hair. "You are desirable. As you know, because you say so often. I couldn't flatter you half as much as you flatter yourself."

  Nathan angled his head. He looked ready to fight again. Miren smiled and moved a little closer. He started to speak. but she laid her finger to his lips. "I like you."

  His expression changed, gentled. "I like you, too."

  "Since we aretemporarilyengaged, that is good."

  "It is."

  "I will remain practical, and you will remain guarded. Ifwe know that now, we can save ourselves much grief."

  Nathan nodded slowly. "You are practical. And you are beautiful, and charming. For that reason, it seems wise that my guard reveal no holes."

  "I've seen no holes."

  Nathan drew her into his arms. "Woman, I'm here. If that's not a gaping hole, what is?"

  "You were worried about me."

  He held her close and kissed her forehead. "I appreciate your pretending to believe that."

  Miren kissed his cheek. "I wanted to be near you again, too."

  They left the floor and returned to the bed. Nathan wasn't sure whether she wanted him to stay, but she seemed happy when he lay down beside her. She even adjusted her blanket over his chest.

  The whole night confounded him. From the hours in his bedroom, fighting to sleep, to the moment she kissed his cheek and said she wanted him near, he was lost. He couldn't stand to lie in his bed and know Miren was here, angry. He couldn't stand not knowing how angry, or exactly what provoked her, or if she meant to call off their pretend marriage.

  He'd told himself she was upset. Probably crying. He came to her cottage to reassure her. And found her sleeping comfortably on her back, her snoring dog curled up at the foot of the bed. He should have been satisfied, turned around, and gone back to his own bed, relaxed in the knowledge that their quarrel hadn't devastated her.

  Since he didn't know what caused the quarrel in the first place, he'd found himself standing by her bed, then sitting. Then speaking into her ear. Twice.

  He wanted to prove to himself that inside, with her innocence jaded, her brain worked like any other woman's. So he told her about Lady Sarah's proposition. She kicked him offthe bed as a reward. So much for inciting feminine competitiveness.

  What really bothered him was that he'd had no sexual response to a provocative woman's request, but couldn't stop fantasizing about Miren. Miren was prettier, true, but she knew nothing about sex. Still, she managed to stumble into a party, stand in her sackcloth dress among elegant, beautiful women, and make them look like crones.

  She was innocent, yet she saw inside him better than anyone ever had. Just when he thought he'd shocked her, she turned the tables and sent him to his knees. Now, he lay awake as the first light of dawn broke in the sky, and she slept peacefully beside him. Her hand found its way to his arm, then his chest. She moved a little closer.

  His heart responded with a surging pulse. He placed his hand over hers and tried to content himself. She liked him. He liked her, too. They were friends, first. Maybe they would become lovers. Nathan felt certain they would. But not tonight.

  They were already confidants. They trusted each other. That hadn't happened often in Nathan's life. He had been close to David, until their lives took separate paths. He expected the same with Miren. He hoped she would remember him with affection. He knew he'd remember her.

  Nathan pressed a gentle kiss on her forehead. She murmured softly and kissed his shoulder. Nathan held himself still. Miren snuggled closer and nuzzled his neck. She tipped her face upward, sighed, and kissed his j
aw. He felt her breath as small puffs against his neck. Torture.

  "Miren . . . you're arousing me."

  She startled into wakefulness, seemed surprised to be so close, and withdrew hastily. "You can't just let me sleep, can you?"

  "It's almost morning. If you'd stop your demonic assault, woman, we both might find rest."

  "I did nothing."

  "You kissed my shoulder, here." He pointed to the spot. "You nuzzled my neckwhich was incredibly sensual, I might add. And my face, here." He touched his chin.

  "I never did." Miren paused. "You kissed me first."

  "I knew it!" Nathan clamped his hand to his forehead. I sound like Simon. But he wouldn't let her squirm out of a confession this time. "If you were sleeping, how did you know I kissed you?"

  He had her. Yes, the little vixen squirmed, bit her lip, and twisted in bed. Twisted so that her leg brushed against his. "I knew because . . ." Miren puffed an angry breath, rolled herself half on top of him, and kissed his mouth. She drew back, enough for him to see her blazing, moonlit eyes. "I can't sleep, either."

  Nathan couldn't speak. He wrapped his arms tight around her and pinned her against him. She didn't struggle. Her feverish little mouth trailed warm kisses over his face, back and forth over his mouth. Her devilish little tongue slipped between his lips and played against his.

  "Nathan . . ." She caught her breath. "Such imaginings possess me . . ." She kissed him again. Her fingers gripped his hair as if to hold him in place. "It's partly your looks." Her lips found his neck and centered over his pulse. ''In this shirt especially." Her fingers tugged his collar apart and she kissed the base of his throat. "Just when I remind myself that good looks are insignificant, you look at me . . . a certain way. Oh . . ."

  Nathan lay weak, his body quivering. She crawled farther on top of him, positioning herself to kiss his mouth. "And just when I think you're the most difficult, annoying man, you tell me you like me . . ." She tasted his lips with vigor, then sucked his bottom lip between her teeth.

  His body went tight as a drawn bow, his heart slammed in his chest.

  "Miren, we're headed"

  "I know."

  "In a direction you might not want to go."