A Gentleman's Game

by Rebecca Matthews

  This is going to be much harder than I anticipated. Taking a deep breath, he tried a different angle.

  “Darcy, that night, when we were dancing on the Queen Annabelle, surely you felt some…some type of connection.” He paused briefly, no answer, only the slightest flicker in her eyes, so he continued. “You did enjoy yourself, I am certain of that. I know I did, and that was just a taste of the many things we could enjoy together. There is so much to see and do that you have been missing all these years, and I want to be your guide through it all.”

  She returned his pleading, hopeful gaze with one that was blank, unfeeling. He had seen inanimate objects show more life than the look she gave him. If it is true that eyes are the windows to the soul, then her soul was an empty, cold, dark place that made him ache inside for her. Was she even human? What had happened to her to turn her womanly warmth to cold indifference, and her heart to stone? He was determined to find out what had transformed this charming and unspeakably beautiful woman into an empty cask drained of all emotion. What had forced her to live such an unfeeling existence? It was as if she were alive, but not really living!

  Cole assigned himself as the physician to diagnose and treat what ailed her. He was confident he could fill her empty existence with vitality, and be the tonic to bring zest to her life. He knew enough about people to surmise that she was using this cold, distant attitude as a protective device against being hurt again. She could turn it off and on like a switch. Oh, how he wanted to hold her, kiss her, and tell her that it would be all right. He would make it all right. He wanted to rip off the mask of cynicism she wore, in order to see the real person hidden beneath. Meanwhile, he waited through the awkward silence.

  After looking away from him from what seemed an eternity, she finally turned and looked at him. There were tears in her eyes! Was the ice queen melting before his eyes?

  “Cole, I don’t know what you think you would be getting from me, but I promise you I am not what you think I am, and I am definitely not what you need or want. I am a broken vessel, a girl sold into a marriage of convenience to be used and abused by a man in the most sickening ways. I guess it eased my parents’ conscience somewhat to think of us as husband and wife, but he was never my husband.” Her voice cracked with emotion as she spoke of her past for the first time.

  “You have been kind, and I am sorry if I have led you on in any way, but I am not fit for anyone. I have been sequestered in that house ever since coming to New Orleans, except for the trip where you and I met. I almost wonder if Edgar suspected something was about to happen and let me go on that trip so I would not be here when it did. He was protective to the point of being cruel.” Tears silently fell on her black lace gloves, and she dabbed her eyes with the handkerchief he handed her. Her tears melted Cole’s heart like butter left in the sun. Was this an act, or was this the real Darcy?

  “Oh, Darling. I am so sorry.” Boldly, he slid his arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer to him. To his utter amazement, she leaned her head against his shoulder and wept softly.

  “I have no idea what you have suffered, but I am offering you the rest of my life to make it up to you. I do need and want you, Darcy, more than I have ever needed or wanted anything before, more than air to breathe, or food to eat. I can barely believe I am saying these words to you, because I swear, I have never spoken them to anyone before. You have changed me Darcy. You have made me long for you in ways I can’t explain.”

  They rode in companionable silence for a long time, her head resting comfortably on his shoulder, his protective arm around her. He heard her sigh deeply from time to time. With his other hand resting in his lap, he played with the fingers of her hand lying so close to his thigh. More than just the warmth of her body, the sensation of her nearness provided a feeling he had never even known existed. It felt so right. It was what he had waited for his entire life, without even knowing he had been waiting at all. He wanted it to last forever.

  Trees were casting long shadows when Cole finally told the driver to head back to her address.

  “Darcy, when you feel up to it we can talk more. I just want to be near you as often as possible, and help you with whatever is troubling you. Darling, I am not after your money. You saw on the boat, I have plenty of my own. It is only you I want.”

  Looking up at him, her tear-stained face just an inch from his, she smiled weakly, and it flooded him with joy. Bending his head that final inch, he kissed her for the first time. Her lips were initially reluctant, and he felt her whole body stiffen briefly, but as he continued to work her lips with his, she gave in to the urgency of his flaming kiss.

  Her hand reached up and touched his cheek, continuing to rest her head in the nook between his shoulder and jaw. He could feel her giving in to this new experience, and his heart rejoiced. His arm tightened around her shoulders and using his other arm, he reached it around her waist and pulled her even closer to him. Then, just as suddenly as a flash of lightning in the summer sky, she pulled back and snapped,

  “Stop. Stop it! I don’t know what I was thinking! Who do you think you are to manhandle me like that! You barbarian! Have you no decency?”

  He was totally baffled at this point. Within a matter of seconds, she had gone from sweetly willing in his arms to a screaming shrew. He feared she was just short of slapping his face. Perhaps she was mentally unbalanced, for he couldn’t imagine any other reason for her rapid, unexpected changes in attitude.

  “What do you mean calling me ‘Darling’? I am no one’s darling, nor will I ever be. I am tainted merchandise Mr. Evans, not good for anyone, not myself and certainly not you.” Her voice had trailed off, and she finished her comment, almost in a whisper as if speaking only to herself.

  There it was again, woven into her words…that terror she apparently felt when near a man. The wound that began to draw closed as she allowed Cole to get close, broke open once again, spewing foul pus over the tenderness of the moment. Just as she seemed to forget her painful past, some sudden remembrance would bring it back in all its fury.

  As quickly as a snap of a finger, she had retreated to the dark, hidden corners of her soul. There in the deep recesses where bitterness and hatred had consumed her, she could punish her self-proclaimed sinful, unworthy soul over and over, unobserved and uninhibited. The remainder of the ride she sat bolt upright beside Cole, not touching him and keeping her face turned away. Ooh boy. This is going to be a bigger challenge than I thought, but I am up to it. This time, it was Cole who sighed deeply.

  Chapter Five

  After Cole deposited her at the front door, with a perfectly proper peck on her gloved hand, Darcy went straight to her room. Eva was waiting there. Darcy tried to hide the tracks of her tears, as she didn’t want to give Eva any ammunition for the tirade Darcy sensed was coming.

  “Whut happen?” Eva demanded, tapping her foot impatiently, hands on her hips.

  “Nothing. We went for a nice, long drive in the country, and I slipped and started to think I could feel something for him. I talked about my past, and it made me cry. That’s all. It wasn’t his fault. He is so damn sweet to me and seems to genuinely care, or else he is the best actor in the world. I should play along if he thinks he is going to win me over and get my money.”

  “I toll you not to go, but you won’t listen to Eva. Oh, no, no. You know better. Now you’re in a mess!” Pouring a bowl of cold water from the pitcher on the washstand, she bathed Darcy’s hot, salty cheeks, and then helped her undress. All the time she kept muttering under her breath, “Shudda listened to Eva.” Hauling away Darcy’s sweaty dress while her mistress bathed, Eva brought out a lightweight lavender organza for Darcy to wear to dinner and continued mumbling beneath her breath. “Shudda listened to Eva, but oh, no.”

  “Eva, I can hear you. You can stop that fussing and fuming any time now. I know I should have listened to you, but in some ways it was very enjoyable. I think I scared him off though, so you don’t have anything to worry about an
ymore. Now help me dry off and get dressed.”

  Eva laughed and approached her mistress with a huge, soft bath towel and wrapped her in it as she stepped out of the painted metal tub in the small room off her bedroom. Edgar had made sure she had all the latest conveniences. They even had a water closet, which was the most amazing thing Darcy had ever seen. She would never forget the first time she used it. She saw the chain hanging there and gave it a pull. What resulted scared her half to death, but from then on, she was in love with it.

  At dinner that night, Darcy and Eva were very quiet. Darcy, absorbed in her own musings, had much to think over, including the look of worry on Eva’s lovely face.

  “How old are you Eva?” Darcy asked her the next day.

  “I don’t know. I guess ’bout the same as you, twenty-four or five. I don’t think about it too much. Why, ma’chere?”

  “I was just wondering. It seems only natural that you will want to pursue courtship and marriage with some eligible bachelor now that you are free of any obligation here. Word of what went on here with Edgar will never leave this house, have no fear of that.”

  Eva’s face became pale and drawn and her countenance grew grim.

  “Eva what is wrong? Did I say something wrong?”

  “Where you come up with such a fool notion? You crazy in the head? I didn’t want no man before Edgar, and I shore don’t want one now or ever!” She practically screamed her reply, fires of rage flaring in her eyes.

  “All right,” Darcy answered humbly. “I didn’t mean to upset you so terribly. I was just wondering about things. I would hate to lose you, but I thought it was pretty impractical of me to think you would never leave me for a home and family of your own.”

  “You hush now. It not gonna happen. Now let’s play cards.”

  A few days later, Cole appeared at her doorway again in the early afternoon. Eva was even surlier than on his previous visit.

  “Hello, Eva. Is Mrs. Higgins in? I know she is not expecting me, but I was wondering if I could have just a moment of her time, please.”

  Eva snorted, spun on her heels, and again left him standing in the entryway where he landed when she opened the door. Boy is she a hot-tempered little Creole. Again, he stood and waited, and waited and waited. Eva didn’t return, and Darcy didn’t appear. He wondered if Eva even relayed his message. Perhaps this was their cowardly way of telling him to get lost. Then, just as he was deciding he might as well take his leave, he heard the soft rustle of satin and petticoats as the subject of his dreams descended the stairs. She looked as regal as a queen holding court. Amazingly, she still took his breath away every time he saw her, just as she had the very first time. She was truly one in a million.

  “Well!” she paused, “I certainly didn’t expect to see you again after my outburst at our last outing.” She walked up to him with her hand extended. He kissed it gladly.

  “That? Oh, that was nothing. Women have the right to be emotional and have outbursts from time to time.” He smiled broadly when he saw her return a warm smile. This is progress! We are actually standing here smiling at each other. Hurray! “The reason I came by is to make good on my promise of showing you some of the wonderful things you have missed in our fair city. I have tickets to the opera for this Saturday night. I would consider it an honor if you would accompany me.”

  Her eyes lit up for the first time since they met.

  “Oh, I’ve always wanted to go to the opera! Eva and I planned to go sometime, but this sounds delightful” She clapped her hands with childlike glee. Then abruptly all the joy faded from her face. “This doesn’t mean anything, you know.” Her tone wary. “It doesn’t mean we are at all attached. I just want that understood.”

  “As you wish, Mrs. Higgins. It shall be just as you say, and nothing more.” He would give her time and distance. Poor girl. She needed to control something since she had no control over anything for such a long time. That was fine with him. He hoped this might help her come to a normal state of mind regarding courtship and men in general. Whatever was good for Darcy was what Cole wanted. “I will pick you up at eight o’clock sharp. Until then…” He reached for her hand, and his lips lingered on her skin.

  The next day Eva and Darcy went shopping for a new gown for her to wear to the opera. She wanted something far more elegant than anything she currently owned. Eva was sullen and barely spoke the entire time they looked at patterns and material. Thank goodness the performance was almost a week away so the seamstress would have time to finish it. Darcy promised to pay extra just to ensure its delivery on time to wear to the theater. She selected a delectable red satin brocade with an intricate pattern of black embroidery throughout. The pattern showed a boa over one shoulder as the only attachment to the bodice. She would also purchase new foundation garments and her first pair of long white opera gloves.

  As excited as a little girl on the first day of school, everything had to be just right for this non-date. Jittery with excitement both for being with Cole again (although she would not admit that to anyone) and for seeing an opera for the first time, her life at last held hope and excitement.

  One of New Orleans’ most beloved opera houses was an old, architectural wonder at the corner of Bourbon and Toulouse Streets. She could barely wait to see the historical edifice she had read about. She spent days buffing her fingernails and slathering her hair with lard to ensure it was shiny and her raucous curls were tamable on the big night. She was a bundle of nervous anticipation as she prepared, desperately wishing Eva would share in her joy.

  “Eva, can’t you be just a little happy for me? I could send word to Cole and see if he could get a ticket for you to attend as well. Please. Would that make you happy? What can I do to perk you up? I can’t bear to see you so down.” Darcy pleaded, cajoled, and pouted, but nothing worked.

  “No, I don’t want to go to the stupid opera.”

  “But Eva, when you and I talked about going, you were so excited. What has changed?”

  Eva scowled.

  “Oh…You are mad that I am going with Cole. You aren’t jealous of Cole, are you Eva? No one is going to steal your best friend. Don’t you worry! I have just always dreamed of one day going to the opera on the arm of a handsome, debonair man, and Cole fits the bill nicely. He is just for show. It doesn’t mean a thing. Come on now. Please smile for me. Please?” She was begging for some semblance of her friend’s former behavior.

  Eva just grimaced and walked out.

  Darcy was too excited to dwell on Eva’s sour disposition for long. Her dream was coming true, and she would not let anything spoil it. For too long she had choked on the stench of spoiled hopes and dreams. Now it was time for Darcy to enjoy the sweet scent of the good things in life. Darcy was enjoying a better life and was wondering if Cole could be the key to unlock a better world for her. They were both broken in places, but like a key whose jagged edges are the only one to open the correct lock, so too they might make a perfect fit someday. It was too early for that, however, and she would not let her guard down yet.

  Much remained to be seen of his motives before she would allow her heart to soften where Cole was concerned. In the meantime, however, the comfort of his arm around her, the security of his shoulder to lean on, and his promise to make everything all right was something she could not easily cast aside. She must be careful not to let him know how she felt. He must think she still despised him, otherwise she would be showing her hand, and she didn’t play her cards that way, not in any gentleman’s game.

  At long last, Saturday arrived. Excitement had robbed her of any sleep the night before, so that afternoon, she took a nap for fear she might fall asleep at the opera and miss what she had waited for so long. When she awoke, she took a long, luxurious bath in rose scented water and mountains of bubbles. Eva was conspicuous by her absence. Where can that girl be? I need her to help me get ready tonight more than any other night. I bet she is off pouting. She needs to grow up! Darcy was irritated when Eva finally ap
peared to help her mistress dress and do her hair. The red and black gown with the feathery drape over one shoulder was bold and daring, and very, very beautiful—definitely not mourning garb.

  Darcy looked radiant and even more beautiful than usual. When they finished, her hair was pulled tight against her head, with a tangle of ringlets dangling down to her exposed back. Eva placed the lavish diamond combs in the thick locks where they were in competition with Darcy’s natural golden highlights. Then Eva burst into tears at the sight of the beauty in front of her.

  “How could one woman be so bootiful? You are what every woman wishes to be, ma chere.” Eva brought her gathered fingertips to her pursed lips and tossed a loud ‘smack’ into the air. Glancing down at Darcy’s wedding ring which she now wore on her right hand, she continued. “You are worth far more than rubies, diamonds, and sapphires.” Darcy just smiled broadly at the flattering words.

  Too excited to eat, Darcy just had some broth so she didn’t suffer a case of the vapors at the opera tonight. She did not want anything to ruin this evening.

  Before she knew it, the doorbell rang, and there was Cole. She had never seen a man look as incredibly handsome as he did right now, and the sight made her gasp. What a remarkable man! Reeking of wealth and cocky self-assurance, he was her escort for all to see. Stunned, she found she was actually glad to see his welcoming smile. His wide-eyed approval at the door reassured her that all her painstaking effort had been well worth it. She could feel his eyes on her as they headed to the coach. Was he speechless? Surely not the glib Mr. Evans!

  The handsome couple bedecked in all their finery presented a grand sight. Heads turned to greet them with approving nods and smiles from New Orleans’ high society. She felt as if she were a queen, for all the royal treatment she was receiving. What woman wouldn’t be happy to be accompanied by such a magnificent man!