Love Again, Love for Them: A Novel

by R. A. Lee

  “Would you like tea?” she asked politely. Brooke nodded.

  Jake’s mother poured two cups of tea.

  “Sugar or milk?” she asked and Brooke shook her head. She wanted her tea straight.

  Handing a beautiful china teacup and saucer to Brooke, Jake’s mother then picked up her cup and sipped. Brooke imitated her.

  “My son and I have had a talk,” she told Brooke as if they were just two in-laws having tea and discussing family. “I love my son very much, maybe too much. I’ve been nagging him for years to settle down and get a family. He just wants to hang out with Jenny, but she’s never going to give him what he needs. He thinks she will. He thinks he’s satisfied, but he’s not. I just wanted him to be happy.”

  Brooke hung her head in shame. People did stupid things for love, for the happiness of everyone in their family.

  “I went along with it, for the sake of my family,” Brooke confessed. “I never meant to hurt you, I just didn’t think this through.”

  Brooke could hear Jake’s mother sip her tea.

  “I think you’re the best thing that could have happened to my son,” his mother said and Brooke stared at her in disbelief.

  “If it weren’t for you, for trying to appease me, he would have never gotten married,” his mother explained. “I think once he sees you and your son, once he gets to know you he’ll realize what he’s missing. I’m not saying he’ll decide to make it a real marriage, I mean he’ll realize he’s wasting his life.”

  Jake’s mother was a very rational woman who understood her son better than he understood himself. She went about it in the worst way possible, but Brooke understood. Brooke was a pawn in their game and Jake thought his opponent was an idiot.

  Brooke sighed and blinked away fresh tears.

  “I can’t imagine what you’ve been through, Brooke,” she said, caressing Brooke’s arm like her mother always did when she needed comfort. “I see why you accepted his proposal. I just want you to know I’m sorry and I won’t interfere anymore. You’re my son’s wife. Until that changes, I have to respect your relationship.”

  Her mother-in-law started to cry and Brooke could no longer hold back her tears.

  “I have a grandson, even if it’s only temporary and it’s not real. I have a child to call a grandchild and I really want to beg your forgiveness so that I can embrace him in my life,” she sobbed with pleading eyes.

  Shaking uncontrollably, Brooke stood, sat next to Jake’s mother and hugged the woman who no longer looked like a bitter old lady. She was bitter, but it was disappointment that shaped her, not arbitrary hatred.

  When they both stopped shaking, they each wiped their tears and laughed.

  “I would love nothing more than for my son to have another grandmother again,” Brooke confided, giving the woman absolution.

  With their feud mended, Jake’s mother showed her the pictures and told her all about Jake and his father and showed her around the home that had been her mother-in-law’s home.

  Jake had inherited the front house when his father passed away, and now his mother stepped back so that her son could raise his family in the main house. Jake preferred to stay in the city.

  Parting, Brooke hugged Jake’s mother and invited her to dinner to spend more time with MJ.

  Brooke floated back to the house. Very hungry and exhausted, Brooke headed to the kitchen and ate leftovers from a plastic container. Jake walked in and Brooke glared at the man who looked like a boy who had been scolded by his mother. Hands in his pockets, he asked Brooke how it went with his mother.

  Angry at the emotions and situation he was unable to correct himself, Brooke threw the container in the sink and grabbed a dishtowel.

  Whipping it at Jake’s chest, she saw the startled look as he stepped back.

  “How dare you do that to your poor mother,” she snapped. “She just wants to make sure you’re happy and you do this to her? I mended my relationship with your mother, have you mended yours?”

  Brooke threw the dishtowel at him and left him there to think about what he had put his mother through.

  Waiting for MJ to come home, Brooke thought about the actions she was taking that were shaping her relationship with her son. Would she know when she was being overbearing? What was the line between love and being overprotective as a parent?

  MJ came home excited by his new toys.

  “Go show your grandma, the lady in the house out back,” she suggested and MJ ran out the door.

  As soon as she knew her own mother was stronger, Brooke would explain her arrangement. Until Jake said otherwise, Brooke wasn’t going anywhere. This was home for MJ and Brooke couldn’t take that away from him until she was sure she could find a more secure arrangement.

  Until then, she was in this marriage for better or worse.

  Chapter 5

  Getting ready for their interview at the school, Brooke walked nervously up the steps to the office with MJ holding her hand excited to be back.

  How was a kid who loved school slow?

  Clearing her throat, Brooke announced herself and they sat in plastic chairs. She watched as the second hand swung boldly without hesitation around the clock face, and time passed without care.

  A young, professional looking woman greeted them cheerfully. Her hair was pulled back in a bun and her skirt suit fit her body like it was sewn on, and all Brooke could think was, “Please don’t think my son is slow.”

  Following her into her office, the woman invited them to sit and after asking all the preliminary questions, she said she was going to test MJ for his grade level and Brooke waited on the plastic chair again watching time dutifully move on.

  An hour later, MJ emerged and wanted to go outside and play. Brooke looked to Mrs. Harlan who showed MJ to the playground where an attendant was watching other kids. Running out to the playground, MJ quickly made friends.

  Mrs. Harlan invited Brooke back to her office where she went over the results.

  “Your son has a learning disability,” she said nonchalantly. Looking at Brooke she gauged her response.

  “That’s what his other teacher told me,” Brooke admitted.

  “Was he ever tested?” she asked.

  “Yes,” Brooke said. “I wanted another opinion.”

  She couldn’t look at Mrs. Harlan. The specialist and his teacher had been right. It was Brooke who was slow to realize this. She just didn’t want this to stigmatize her son.

  “I believe your son has a form of dyslexia,” she explained. “Did they tell you that?”

  “Never,” she shrugged, remembering they didn’t have a clear diagnosis. “They just wanted to put him in special classes.”

  “He will need special classes,” the woman agreed without emotion and Brooke wondered what that would mean for her son.

  “I don’t know much about dyslexia,” she said, quietly realizing she should clarify his condition or whatever it was. “Something about reading backwards?”

  “We’ll have to do more testing. It’s more complex than that. There are many different forms,” she said, looking over his results.

  “I could see why they didn’t catch it,” she said.

  “What do you advise?” Brooke asked, needing solutions. Mrs. Harlan was very nice and didn’t demean her son’s special condition.

  “We just put him with special classes, maybe look into tutors,” she advised.

  “Won’t that make him a target for other kids?” she fretted. It was forefront in her concerns for her son.

  “We don’t tolerate that here,” she explained. “He’ll be in a mix of classes.” Mrs. Harlan saw Brooke’s concern and put down her papers.

  “Mrs. Parker, your son is healthy and happy, he just needs extra help and we want to make sure he gets that,” she said in a very reassuring manner.

  Meeting her gaze, Brooke nodded.

  “What do we need to do?” she asked, ready to embrace the issue and find a solution. It was what it was.

>   “We’ll make an appointment with a specialist and he’ll be ready for the school year,” she said simply.

  “Sounds good to me,” Brooke agreed and after filling out paperwork, Brooke took her son home in his wagon.

  Looking into the eyes he inherited from his father, Brooke knew no matter what that MJ would persevere. She would not burden him with her issues. Matthew was extremely intelligent and outgoing. There was nothing different about MJ. He just needed a little extra help.

  Confiding in her mother, Brooke explained that MJ was going to get the best education possible.

  “There’s nothing wrong with him,” her mother consoled while rubbing her arm. “He’s just as smart as his daddy.”

  “I should have listened to the specialists, his teacher,” she fretted. “I shouldn’t have gotten so defensive.”

  “You’re doing the right thing now,” her mother told her. “Don’t look back, Brooke, it doesn’t solve anything. Learn from your mistakes and move on. It’s a long road.”

  “Thanks, mom,” she said and changed the subject. “How are you doing here?”

  “They’re all very good to me,” her mother beamed and Brooke listened as her mother talked about how wonderful her new home was.

  Hours later, Brooke said she would be back in a week then went home to make dinner for her son.

  Jake’s mother was in the kitchen when Brooke arrived, helping Mrs. Hurligan get dinner ready. Taking off her jacket and hanging up her purse, Brooke hugged her animated son and he told her all about his day.

  Dinner was put on the island and they bowed their heads, said grace and ate in silence. When they were done, the older women cleaned up while Brooke got MJ ready for bed.

  Jake’s mother watched as Brooke walked her son through the routine and pulled out a book and read him his story.

  Waiting outside, Jake’s mother watched as Brooke turned off the light and closed the door just enough.

  Following her mother-in-law to the living room, they sat and talked about MJ’s special education needs.

  “That school is one of the best in the state,” Jake’s mother beamed. “If he needs special tutors we can always find that.”

  Brooke thanked MJ’s new grandmother.

  “I have a request,” she said, holding Brooke’s hands. “I want to babysit for you. I want to be there for him if you ever need to get out and do something for yourself.”

  “I didn’t want to burden you,” Brooke confided.

  “It wouldn’t be a burden,” she insisted. “It may be my only opportunity to spoil a grandkid.”

  Brooke laughed.

  “I don’t think you know what you’re asking,” she joked. They hugged and agreed to make plans.

  Exhausted, Brooke said “good-night” to her mother-in-law and headed to bed.

  A car pulled up and the motor was shut off. Recognizing Jake’s sports car, Brooke knew he was back, but she didn’t know for how long. Jake only stayed for two days and she barely saw him. They didn’t speak and she didn’t start a conversation.

  Two months passed quickly as Brooke prepared MJ for his new school and she only saw Jake in passing. They did not speak to one another and he ate alone most nights or worked in his room. Jake went for a run every day he was at home.

  Exhausted, Brooke was glad when Jake’s mother took MJ for a few hours while Brooke went shopping or got a haircut. It was good to feel free for just a few hours, but she missed her family and was grateful to come home.

  School started and Brooke wished her son luck and he raced off to be with the other kids. In a month, Brooke noticed a difference in MJ’s homework and test results. The special classes were helping MJ. The most important thing was that he loved learning and being with all his friends at school.

  Brooke was overjoyed.

  The only thing that knocked her back was when Jake came into the kitchen one afternoon after a run. Jake’s mother and Mrs. Hurligan were getting dinner ready and MJ was excited about playing baseball at school. Jake’s mother had bought him a new glove, bat and ball, and all he wanted to do was play in the backyard.

  Jake came in and MJ ran up to him as Brooke was coming in from the dining room and both Jake and her stared at each other when MJ requested for Jake to play catch with him.

  “Please, daddy,” he begged tugging at Jake. Brooke’s mother-in-law was overjoyed and contained her excitement by covering her mouth with her hands. She had waited a lifetime for her son to become a father. The only thing was that Jake never really interacted with MJ and Brooke didn’t know how to explain to MJ that Jake really wasn’t used to being around kids.

  When she heard MJ call Jake “daddy,” Brooke gasped. Jake wasn’t expecting it either. A part of Brooke broke because Jake was not MJ’s daddy; his father had passed away without the blessing of getting to know his son. Now another man would someday fill that role and that angered Brooke. This was another moment when she realized what she wanted wasn’t as important as what her son wanted, so she didn’t say anything and hoped Jake just let it pass.

  “Jake’s very busy,” Brooke interjected. Jake was relieved and MJ was disappointed.

  Brooke motioned for Jake to follow her into the living room. Sitting on the couch, she waited and he stood in front of her with his hands on his hips, his shirt soaked in sweat.

  “Would you mind just giving him five minutes,” she requested. “Five minutes would mean everything to him.”

  Jake didn’t respond. He just headed upstairs and Brooke sighed.

  In the kitchen, MJ was helping with the rolls and Brooke didn’t want to say anything. Putting the food on the island, Brooke was about to put food on plates when Jake came in, fresh from his shower with clean sweats, and told MJ to get his glove and ball.

  Leaving the women speechless, Jake left and MJ grabbed his glove and ball and left screaming on his way out to the backyard.

  The women didn’t say anything. They just put the food on the table and watched through the French doors as the boys played catch for almost an hour.

  It was a moment like this that Brooke realized her decision may have been misguided and not well thought out, but it was worth it to see her son happy. She didn’t know how long it would last, but it gave her the spiritual strength to make wiser decisions.

  Jake’s mother called them in and they sat to dinner, said grace and ate like a family.

  Offering to put MJ to bed, Jake’s mother walked MJ through his routine and Brooke helped Mrs. Hurligan clean up while Jake headed to his room.

  When all was quiet, Brooke went to the kitchen to get a glass of water and headed down the hallway to her room. Standing at the foot of the stairs to Jake’s room, Brooke really wanted to thank the man who hid up in his room. A light came from under his door and she knew he was awake.

  Placing one foot on the first step, Brooke got the courage to make it to the top of the steps. Knocking, she heard Jake invite her in. Opening the door slowly, Brooke saw Jake sitting on top of his comforter in his sweatpants, his bare tan chest rising up and down. Papers were all over his bed and he was wearing reading glasses.

  “Is there something wrong?” he asked, taking off his glasses. Brooke felt an old desire start to rise deep within her and she took a step forward into the room and closed the door. Jake sat up as Brooke presented the glass of water.

  “I was just getting a glass of water when I saw your light on,” she said. Feeling bold, Brooke sat on the end of his bed. Jake looked confused but didn’t send her away.

  “I wanted to thank you for what you did for my son today,” Brooke said, holding his gaze.

  “I haven’t played ball in a while,” he shrugged. “It was fun tossing the ball.”

  Brooke stood and walked closer and Jake moved further into his bed. Sitting next to his chest, Brooke didn’t know what she was doing but she was drawn to the man. He had done something so wonderful for her and she had a desire to show her appreciation.

  Jake took the water from
Brooke’s hand and carefully placed it on his nightstand breaking eye contact for only a moment.

  The warmth in Brooke’s stomach spread throughout her body and she placed her palm gently on Jake’s chest. Jake had a very strong chest. Sliding her hand further down over his sweatpants, Brooke felt his member get hard and Jake gasped.

  “You don’t have to,” Jake whispered, but Brooke could see he wanted to be thanked. If she stopped to think what she was doing, she would be ashamed. There was something about being close to the man that reminded her how long it had been since she had been this intimate, and she just needed to feel human contact again.

  “I can go if you want,” she whispered. Jake didn’t say anything. Flipping off the switch to his light, he carefully untied the string on his sweatpants and let Brooke decide how to thank him.

  Turning to pull something from his nightstand, Jake placed a condom in Brooke’s hand. Holding the square flat packaging, Brooke knew it was up to her and she was past the point of no return.

  An hour later, trying to stifle their moans of ecstasy, Brooke and Jake parted, breathing heavy in the darkness. Brooke returned to her senses and, grabbing her nightgown and underwear, she rolled off the bed. Grabbing her robe from the floor and wrapping it around herself, Brooke was out of the room without a good-bye.

  In her own room, behind her own door, Brooke sat on her bed, nude beneath her robe, trying to catch her breath.

  In all her life, she had never propositioned a man. The only man she had slept with was Matthew. It had been so long since she had made love to Matthew, and Brooke had been ignited by such a small act of kindness.

  This was not in the agreement. Jake had a girlfriend and Brooke was his wife in name only.

  Pure pleasure. That’s all Brooke had felt. For the time they were together, she didn’t think about anything else. Brooke was grateful Jake had turned out the light.

  Desire had overtaken her and three years without human contact made her voracious. But now she only felt regret.

  Matthew was the love of her life. The only man she ever wanted to make love to. This was a betrayal. Brooke could not get that out of her mind.