Sweeter Than Wine

by Hestand, Rita

  "He's got a lot on his mind…." Her glum-face faded slightly.

  "Yes he does, and it's natural, but all of this will settle out soon and he'll begin to see what really is important."

  "Which is?" Lacey asked with a twist of her head.

  "You of course, don't sweat it, I know about these things. I used to tell fortunes too."

  Lacey watched them but aware of her own tensions, she tried to relax. Her vacation was nearly over and then what?

  She thought about Gina's words and shrugged. She hoped she was right.

  Tanka, Chayton and Sam were heavy into a discussion about timber and the risk of fires an such and Lacey was whisk away to help with the meal preparation.

  Rosie showed up and Lacey knew it would only be a matter of time before Sam pulled her off into a corner to question her. She almost felt sorry for poor Rosie.

  Kasie sat down after a short while and even though she smiled almost the entire time, she would make short little grimaces that alerted Lacey that the baby might not be as far off as she thought.

  ***

  "Rosie... could I talk to you for a minute?" Sam asked as Tanka and Chayton had more guests arriving and needed to greet them.

  "Why sure darlin' what can I do for you?" Rosie asked as he guided her away from everyone else.

  "Rosie." Sam looked her in the eye, feeling that contact was best at this point. "I feel as though I'm using you, but I must know the answers. I want to talk to that doctor if you can remember his name."

  Rosie sized Sam up quickly, lifting a brow, her voice a whisper. "I figured you would. Here," she pulled out a piece of paper from her pocket of her skirt." I wrote the information down, and I don't blame you a bit. You feel you owe your Mom, don't you?"

  "How'd you know?"

  "Because I would, if I were you. And I'm actually kind of glad you feel that way, Sam. Your mother was a sweet little girl, who loved your father endlessly. She didn't deserve to go out the way she did. She knew….somehow she knew you weren't dead. I felt it then and I feel it now, Sam. She knew you were not dead, but she couldn't convince anyone else of it." Rosie swiped a tear from her cheek. "Not even me. The doctor had an impeccable reputation no one would dispute that."

  "Thank you, thank you so much for understanding," Sam smiled into her face.

  "What are you gonna do when you find out?"

  "I don't know. Maybe nothing, depending on what I find. There's no way I can right this thing. No way I can turn the clock back and make it all right. But there is a certain satisfaction and peace with finding it."

  "You're a lot like your mother. You don't give up. Good for you. It is time someone found the truth and put it straight." Rosie smiled. "Now come on, let's go join the party.

  ***

  Three days later, Sam was driving Lacey to the airport to catch her flight home. The car filled with a tension, like a rubber band being stretched too far and about to pop. The silence engulfed them in their misery. The lingering thoughts of the night before when they made love as though it would be their last, nagged Sam. How could he let her go? They were made for each other. Yet, it was so soon. How could they be so in love in such a short time? Could you ask someone to marry, only knowing them a week? It seemed out of place. Yet not to ask her seemed wrong too.

  Last night she allowed him every privilege with her body, and his hunger for her was manifested in losing her. She had opened herself to him in every way.

  He had brought wine to their bed, and they had sipped it, talking about things that didn't matter. Then he saw a tear in her eye and he pulled her close. He kissed her until they were both breathless. He felt the fast beat of her heart, thundering at his ear when his lips touched her breasts and caressed her there. She thrust herself up to him, offering herself like a meal to be devoured, savored, and remembered forever.

  He kissed the sweetness of her one last time just this morning, as she lay naked in his arms. He'd taken her several times through the night, and he still wanted more when they woke.

  In the kitchen, as he fixed her breakfast, he couldn't stop himself; he laid her over the table and touched his lips against the hot, moistness of her, tasting her, imprinting her in his mind and soul.

  In the shower they made love, remembering how her beautiful body slid to the stall wall as he entered her and let the shower pelt them as they made love once more.

  They'd been like groping teenagers all morning. Nevertheless, in the car now, a slender thread of tension held them at bay. A few little words would keep her here Sam still hesitated.

  "You sure you gotta go right now Lacey?" Sam asked his hand squeezing her shoulder.

  "Yeah, it's time Sam. A few days, another week, won't make a bit of difference. I have to get back to work, and so do you. We've had a tremendous vacation, one I certainly won't forget. But it's time to end it."

  "I'm not sure I want to," Sam grimaced as he clutched the steering wheel tighter.

  "We're both adults. We knew all along that this day would come. And you have things to resolve, and I have work to do, it's as simple as that. Vacations can't last forever."

  Sam pulled over to the curb.

  "I've never met a woman like you Lacey, ever. You have such sense."

  She could barely meet his eyes. Her heart was breaking but she had to put on this front, as though she had so much sense, when she didn't. Sam hadn't said he loved her. He was realistic; he knew it was too soon. She'd been the one to say that. Feel that. She knew what she risked and she was determined not to regret this summer.

  "Then remember me, I certainly will you," her words sounded almost choked.

  Before she could say another word, he pulled her into his arms and kissed her hard as though branding himself to her. She whimpered in her throat at the sweetness of the kiss.

  She pulled his head down and let her tongue sweep into is mouth. He groaned and pulled her tighter.

  "Let's go," she suddenly gasped wrenching her mouth from his as a tear slid down her cheek.

  "This doesn't seem right, Lacey."

  "It's right." She nodded as they pulled into the parking lot.

  In a rush she got out and came to his side of the car, she smiled, "Remember me…"

  Then she ran away.

  He started to go after her; he got out of the car, and then stood watching, as she never looked back.

  He turned to get back in his car. A dark void surrounded him. Loneliness like he never knew hit him. He glanced up at the jet flying over him, this was all wrong. How could he let her go? The loneliness of losing his father was bleak but this seemed like part of him was missing, gone. He fought the urge to get on a plane for Texas and fast.

  So what if they had only known each other a little over a week? What he felt, what he had shared with the woman was once in a lifetime, and he knew it? Still, maybe time would prove him right. Given time, if he still felt this way, he knew he was right and he'd go after her.

  Yet a gnawing fear took hold, What if she married that Dean on the rebound?

  No, if she loves me she'll wait for me!

  Chapter Thirteen

  With Lacey gone Sam was determined to talk with the doctor that delivered him. He made an appointment and met him at a retirement village.

  It was an expensively lavish retirement home, with a grand piano and bar at the entrance and a huge patio leading off to a pool just outside.

  Sam stopped at the desk to ask for directions, and the lady pointed to the far table on the patio.

  Sam saw the man who had once obviously been a most capable doctor, stooped and in a wheelchair now, facing him with a slight smile to his thin lips. His hair was thinning on top and gray, he was a thin man, almost bony, with bushy eyebrows that moved when he spoke. His gray piercing eyes stared at Sam with a hooded glance.

  "Dr Carrington?"

  "That's right, you must be Sam McKay? I was told you'd be here today."

  The name sounded unfamiliar even to Sam. "Yes, that's right."
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br />   "Come sit down, have lemonade, we'll talk." The older man said as he raised his hand for service and the waitress brought cold lemonade's to the small table with an umbrella shading them from the sun. Sam sat down as the doctor moved his chair to the table.

  "Do you know why I’m here?"

  "The very fact that you're here tells me. Rosie called me and told me you were coming. She told me I better fess up or I'd deal with her. I like that woman, such spirit. I guess you've a lot of questions, and I'm glad you are here Sam. It's time the truth came out. Naturally it's too late to do much good, but at least I'll feel better when I've told you what happened."

  "That sounds almost ominous."

  "I'm sure you've suspected all was not above board, right?"

  "Yeah, I suspected but I needed to know."

  The doctor nodded.

  "It is really. It was illegal what we did. It was wrong, but it was done. However, I'm sure you've guessed that you were switched at birth. Quite intentionally I might add. It happens, and you are an unfortunate, you and your poor mother and father."

  Sam eyed the older man and studied him, he could see where the man had once been quite handsome, but those days were long gone. In addition, there was sadness within him, as though he was eager to dispel it, he began the story.

  "You must understand, this was a long time ago," the doctor's hands shook as he reached for his lemonade. "Remembering every detail of it would be impossible. Suffice it to say, I delivered you, you were healthy, and your mother at the time of your birth was too. She wasn't awake. So that in itself made the task easier."

  "What easier?" Sam questioned.

  "I'm sure you want every detail son, but I cannot give it all. I was only witness to some of it, but I know what happened and I've kept quiet about it all my life, hoping that someday I would get the chance, before I died to tell it all. It's a great burden to carry something like this all your life."

  "You've got the chance all right. You've certainly got my attention."

  The doctor eyed Sam, sipped his lemonade and Sam waited with baited breath. His finger going over the top of his glass as he listened.

  "You won't like this story Sam. Its cold hearted, but the truth. And it involves your own grandfather. You see Sam, your grandfather despised your mother, oh, not your mother, so much as the fact that she had no social standing in the community. During those days, social standing was important if you wanted to be someone. She was a poor girl. He was a powerful man back then, very powerful, and he and your grandmother knew almost everyone in this town. If a person could own a town, he did. He had high aspirations for your father let me tell you. In addition, he saw very little of that success, but if he had, I'm not sure he'd appreciate it as such. You see your father was a very generous man, most of the people on that mountain were helped by him."

  Sam felt an uneasiness growing, could his grandfather have been as cruel as he first thought?

  "Go on Dr. you have my full attention."

  "On the other side of this story is Greta Mertz, the nurse. Her sister was in the hospital to have her baby too. Her sister had tried three times unsuccessfully to have a child. Her last name was…McKay. Yes…I remember John McKay well, how he bellowed through the hallways to take care of his wife this time. John McKay and your grandfather were great friends. They had done quite a bit of business together through the years of struggling icons, and played golf regularly. Anyway, McKay's wife was not doing well, with the fourth attempt to have a child. He feared for her sanity in coping, as she'd brought this one to term. Nevertheless, I knew her doctor and he told me flat out, the baby would be a stillborn. I cringed, knowing that is the worst thing we face as doctors who deliver."

  Sam sipped the lemonade but he didn't taste it.

  "And my mother's sanity, did anyone care about that?"

  "You'll never know how much," the old doctor's brows knitted together in a frown. "Our silence was our sin, Sam. We lived with it every day knowing we were responsible. We weren't unfeeling Sam, but there was more at stake than your mother here. She was healthy she could have more children. Oh we did it. It happened, but it changed our lives too. Especially when we heard of your mother's outcome. I think that's when the guilt began to grow on each of us."

  "But you could have changed that if you had wanted to! When you knew she was so bad, why didn't someone come forth then?" Sam slammed his fist on the table and several other older people looked at him with nothing short of terror in their eyes. Sam felt no remorse.

  "You are right. Yes you are. And that's our biggest sin. We could have changed the entire outcome by telling the truth, even at such a later date. Yet in doing so, we would have ruined both mine and the other doctor's careers. In addition, the scandal of it all would have shut the hospital down much sooner. However, what your grandfather bestowed to the hospital was the hospital's lifeline as we were struggling to keep the doors open and in a community where mining and lumber camps abounded, it was important to the entire community to stay open. Had we not had that money, we would have closed the doors to that hospital in two years time, leaving the community to suffer, as the nearest hospital was two hour drive."

  Sam tried to understand but he kept thinking of his mother who suffered and his father too. What about their lives?

  "Our only reasoning about your mother at the time was that she could have other children. It seemed logical at the time. We knew she left in a post partum depression state, but we figured she'd snap out of it soon. As I said she was physically sound. You and your mother were doing fine. For all that was involved, your grandfather paid hush money as I came to call it for what transpired a One million dollars endowment to the hospital, for switching the babies. It was an easy task to perform, but to live with…not so easy. Nurse Mertz actually did the switching; I and the other doctor signed the papers. It was to say the least a hideous and heinous error on all our parts. The McKay's took you as their son. Your poor mother and father are the ones that suffered. And to this day, I must tell you, I have sweat blood and tears over it. Finally, the truth is laid bare, as it should have been all along. I am today, a free man. And I thank you for coming here."

  Sam sat stone still, his eyes widening at the doctor's remarks.

  "And you think admission releases you from this horrible crime?"

  "No of course not, only God can release us. The sad part for you, son, is understanding that every one of them, except for me, is dead. Therefore, there is no one to pay for this tragedy we created. My days as a doctor are over as you can well see. Nurse Mertz contracted cancer three years ago and died, I can't say she was ever a happy woman from the moment she did what she did. She was the only one that was paid. However, she handed you over to Mrs. McKay that morning and spent the rest of her life looking over her shoulder and fretting about what she had done. Oh she paid, maybe not enough, but you don't do something that drastic and not pay. Your grandfather died of a heart attack, with no repentance in his soul. Your grandmother died a year later. The doctor that delivered the stillborn, he died several years ago in a car accident. The McKay's I'm told are dead too."

  Sam nodded dully.

  This was the story he'd come to hear. He'd felt this story long before it was told. It hurt that his own grandfather had been so cruel to his mother and father, and that there was no restitution for the deed. It was over, and Sam felt the enormity of the deed to his mother.

  The doctor looked clear eyed at Sam, "So…I am the only one left to tell the story, and I am as guilty as anyone. If you want to have me arrested and drag this through the courts you can. However, I must warn you that I too have a cancer and probably won't live out the year. It would mean money wasted for you."

  Sam's frown compounded. Was money the only thing this man understood? Did everything come to money?

  Sam stood up, looking deeply into the doctor's eyes he said, "Then justice has indeed been served to you all. Good day to you sir, and thank you at least for telling me."

&n
bsp; "Mr. McKay," the doctor hollered as Sam was about to leave.

  "No, no sir, it is not McKay, its Sam Douglas. I am Sam Douglas. And don't you ever forget it, as long as you live."

  The doctor nodded, a pain engrossing him as he moved about in the chair, "For all of us, may I say I am sincerely sorry, and completely appreciative of the chance to at least tell you."

  Sam nodded slowly.

  Sam shook his head and a tear escaped his cheek, "If only you had told my mother, it might have made such a difference…"

  Sam could not listen to the old man's pleas for understanding any longer. He had been right, it was over, and nothing could be done about it.

  "Perhaps…some day, you'll come to forgive…," the old doctor said in a choked voice, his first sign of emotion.

  "Perhaps, good day sir," Sam walked away, not wanting to look back, as another tear spilled onto his cheek.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Lacey put her suitcase down and glanced about her mother's house. It seemed so hollow, and welcomed only old memories. A tear slipped down her cheek, then another. Before long she was lying across her bed, crying.

  How could she walk away from Sam like she did? After making love most of the night and all morning.

  How could she have changed so much in such little time?

  In addition, the worst thing, how could she have fallen so hard for a man who could not or would not commit?

  Because you're stupid Lacey!

  She cried the rest of the day.

  The phone rang the next morning, startling her, it was Howard. Lacey was surprised by his call; he'd never called her at home.

  "So you're home. Well, did you enjoy your vacation?" Howard sounded almost like he cared.

  "Yes I did, thank you." She replied.