The Lies of Pride

by Lily Zante

  She looks disgusted and makes a noise as if she’s about to gag. “Most women might throw themselves at you, but I’m not one of them.”

  “I can see that.” I try again one last time. “That’s a no to my offer of a drink?”

  “That’s a definite ‘no’.”

  The taxi grinds to a stop and the driver turns the light on. “Is it safe around here?” I look out of the window and find it hard to believe that for a guy who’s just won millions, Elias is okay for her to still live in this neighborhood.

  She winks at me. “If you stay off the streets, you’ll be safe.”

  “Funny.”

  “I wasn’t trying to be. I meant it.”

  “Ha ha.” I croak, my face deadpan.

  She looks up. “I don’t understand why we came to my place first.”

  “I’m a gentleman, and I wanted to see you home safely. I guess there’s no chance of me coming in for coffee?”

  “No chance at all.”

  She opens her purse and starts to take out some dollar bills.

  “I’ve got this,” I tell her.

  “I want to pay for my share.” She pulls out a few dollar bills from her purse.

  “Please, Nina. I can get this.”

  “I wouldn’t want to be beholden to you,” she says, thrusting her arm out to hand the money to the driver in front. “That should take care of my share.”

  I grab her wrist, a little harder than I intended, and I catch it further up along her forearm. She winces, it’s audible, and it sounds painful enough that I snatch my hand back as if I’ve touched fire. She drops the dollar bills, and quickly apologizes to the driver who snatches them up from the floor just as quickly.

  “Did you hurt yourself?” I’m certain that I felt something bumpy, like scabs, on her skin. She moves her arm away quickly and out of the way, almost hiding it out of sight behind her back. “I burned myself at work by accident. ‘Bye,” she says, before I manage to mumble a ‘See you around.’

  As the taxi drives away, I twist my neck, and see her walking towards her apartment building. I’m worried for her. “Wait,” I order the driver. “Let me see her get in.”

  When I see her step through the door, I tell the driver to go. A part of me knows I should have walked her to the door, but that would have annoyed her even more.

  I wish I’d done that.

  Chapter Seventeen

  NINA

  * * *

  I’m taking a pitcher of water to a table, when Harper walks into the diner. I see her placing an order at the counter, and when I’m done, I walk over.

  Joni is floating around somewhere. She flits in and out taking a cigarette break.

  “Hey,” I say, “Are you eating in or getting a takeout?”

  “Takeout. I’ve ordered the usual for your brother, a jacket potato with tuna and salad, a double portion of it.”

  We grin at one another. Elias has a huge appetite. We go and sit at an empty booth while she’s waiting for her food. I don’t smoke, so this is my way of getting my little breaks in.

  “How’s the actor?”

  I give her a blank look.

  “Have you seen him lately?” she asks, when I fail to answer. I have seen far too much of Callum Sandersby than I want, but I don’t want to lie to her.

  “Why do you ask?” I also don’t want to tell her the truth, and then I wonder why that is. It’s not like there’s something going on with me and him. “Are you working an angle on him for your magazine?”

  “My tech mag?” She laughs. “I’d get fired if I wrote about this superstar when I’m supposed to be looking at this new gaming software.” She makes a face, clearly not enthused. Tech isn’t her thing. She used to work for a local paper before. This is miles away from her safety zone, but she wanted to prove that she could get a job without her dad helping, and this was it. I have a feeling that she and Elias are going to get married in the not too distant future. I can’t see Harper working for this magazine for long. Hopefully she’ll end up working for Elias instead, and that will get him off my case.

  I try to think of what to say. Does she need to know that he’s somehow managed to get me to deliver lunch to his set every day? I think not. I myself don’t fully understand why he did that; it’s not like I’m some raving beauty, with a voluptuous figure, a happy childhood and no extraneous baggage.

  I’m just me.

  Insignificant and damaged Nina Cardoza.

  “I’m sure he’s been here a couple of times,” I say, deliberately being vague. “Why do you need to know his every move?”

  “Why?” Harper parrots. “Because he’s a famous movie star, Nina. I can’t believe I have to spell it out to you. How do you not see what I’m seeing?”

  “He’s just a normal guy.”

  Harper shakes her head. “I don’t get you, Nina.”

  “Get what?”

  “It’s not every day that a Hollywood heart throb lands on your doorstep, and this kind of stuff only happens in films. This is a big deal. Huge.”

  “It’s not a big deal.”

  “It so is!” she cries.

  “I can see why you’re a journalist. You find headlines in the unlikeliest of places.”

  “The man is gorgeous!”

  “Should I warn Elias?” I ask her.

  “I’m not interested in Callum, but he’s interested in you.” She points a finger at me as if to drive the point home. “When was the last time you had a boyfriend? I’ve never known you to have one, and when I asked Eli, he said he didn’t remember either.”

  My stomach hardens, and I hate the direction this conversation is going in. “Why would you ask Elias about something like that?” I rub the back of my neck, my mind still fixated on that part of the conversation. I’ve never discussed anything with my brother. The few relationships I’ve had—if they could be called that—were short-lived.

  “I’ve never seen you with a guy, and I don’t understand how someone like you can be single for so long.”

  “It’s not a sin.”

  “I never said that. “I like to think that we know each other well enough by now for you to tell me. Mark my words, Nina, Callum Sandersby is interested in you.”

  “That’s what I think, too,” says Frankie. Her ultrasonic bat-like hearing never ceases to amaze me. She stands, with her arms folded and eyes me like a hawk. I momentarily brace myself for a telling off because I’m sitting at a table chatting to my brother’s girlfriend as if I’m one of the regulars.

  “Did you know he came by the other night and went with her to night school?” she tells Harper, and nods slowly, as if she’s disclosed some huge secret.

  “He did what?” Harper asks.

  “Went to night school with her.”

  “Look at that juicy piece of news you conveniently forgot to mention.” Harper narrows her eyes at me. “Then what?”

  “He waited.”

  “He waited? He’s persistent. Definitely interested, I’ll give him that.”

  “That’s what I think,” says Frankie.

  “And then?” A waitress puts Harper’s takeaway bag on the table.

  “Shouldn’t you get that to Elias while it’s hot?” I ask her, desperate for her to leave.

  “He’s sparring with Jake and Santos. Go on.”

  “Go on what?”

  “What did you do after the class?”

  “We were walking, and he attracted attention and so he called a cab and we jumped in. He dropped me off first.”

  “He dropped you off?”

  I nod.

  “Did you not invite him in for coffee, or something?” The way she says ‘something’ makes me uneasy. I scowl.

  “How are you not reading the signs this guy’s giving off? He has the feels for you, Nina. He’s interested.”

  “He is not interested.” Someone like him isn’t going to be interested in someone like me. “He’s surrounded by gorgeous women.”

  “Maybe he’s r
ealized that he wants something different now ... someone kinder, softer, genuine.” She backtracks immediately, but it still leaves me feeling shitty. Unperturbed, Harper continues. “Maybe he doesn’t want the brash overly confident type of woman. He’s seen something different in you.”

  I snort with derision. He has seen something in me. Something dark and damaged.

  “Give him a chance, Nina.”

  I don’t think so. I can’t shake Joni’s words out of my head.

  He’s only interested in you because you’re Eli’s sister.

  While I’m revisiting my dark hole and remembering that conversation, Frankie tells Harper about the daily delivery of Callum’s lunch.

  “You lied to me.” Harper looks at me accusingly. “You said he’s been here a couple of times, like it was no big deal.”

  “I didn’t lie. I just didn’t tell you the truth.”

  Harper protests. “Just like with the mugging.”

  “She kept that quiet, too, huh?” says Frankie.

  “It almost makes me think she’s living a double life.” Harper and Frankie laugh at my expense, though Harper suddenly sobers up when she sees my somber reaction. “Look, Nina. I don’t think you understand what’s going on.”

  “Oh, I understand it just fine, thank you.”

  “Callum Sandersby sought you out, came here to thank you, then he’s got you delivering lunch to him every day—”

  “I wonder why,” I say, tardily.

  Harper ignores me. “Then he went with you to night school.” Her eyes light up like sparkling crystals. I imagine any time now she’ll whip out a notepad and pen and start scribbling notes. “You shouldn’t be drooling over another guy,” I remind her. “You’re with Elias.”

  “I’m not drooling over Callum Sandersby, but I am so happy for you!” She claps her hands together, as if I’ve announced my engagement to him.

  “Me too,” says Frankie, looking pleased with herself.

  “One of the hottest hunks in Hollywood is interested in you and you’re still acting so blasé about it.”

  “I don’t care who he is, I’m not interested in him.” I get up from the table. “Did you come in here to get Elias’s lunch, or to quiz me on Callum Sandersby’s comings and goings?”

  “I’m on your side. You’re gorgeous, and cute, and sexy.”

  I make a face, hating the praise and the flattery.

  “It’s true, and he’s interested in you.”

  I shrug. I still have my suspicions.

  “It doesn’t matter who he is,” Frankie says. “Between you and me, she’s working through the A to Z of night school courses. She’s got no time for romance.”

  Harper laughs. looks at her watch, gasps that she didn’t realize she’d been talking for so long.

  “You didn’t realize?” I say, sarcastically.

  “You are a dark horse,” she points an accusing finger at me. “It makes me so happy to hear about you and Callum Sandersby.”

  “Shush!” I put my finger to my lips. “There is no me and Callum Sandersby,” I insist, standing up and smoothing down my apron.

  “There’s no anybody, knowing you,” mumbles Frankie as she walks away.

  I have my own suspicions about why Callum has taken a vested interest in me, and it’s not because of me.

  “I have to go. Eli will go nuts that I’ve kept him waiting so long for his food.” Harper grabs the bag, kisses me on the cheek, and rushes out.

  I spin on my heels and pick up a coffee pot, ready to take it over to a table. I hate that all of a sudden everyone is fixated on my love life. Or non-existent love life, more like it.

  I head towards the table in the corner and refill everyone’s cup of coffee.

  No way is Callum Sandersby interested in me. He wants something, but it’s not me.

  He’s annoying, and persistent, and right now he’s like a leech, although he’s not like Office guy. This doesn’t feel like it does when Office Guy hangs around the diner. I don’t feel claustrophobic. I don’t understand it either. Maybe Callum is right, we’re bound together, for now, for this phase, while he’s here, because of how we first met. There’s nothing romantic about it, that’s for sure.

  The reality of it is that we are worlds apart and Harper lives in cloud cuckoo land.

  Chapter Eighteen

  CALLUM

  * * *

  “Good book?” Dottie walks in with a bottle of water for me. I’m taking a break from shooting. Elias’s biography rests on my lap.

  “It’s a very good book.” I’ve ended up reading this more often than not during my breaks. Elias’s life story is bleaker and sadder than I imagined. Reading his biography gives me a better insight into the man, but it also helps me to better understand Nina.

  Even though I see her daily, and we got to talk for longer than usual the other night, I still don’t feel as if I know her. I sense that there is something vulnerable about her, something in her eyes that I can’t reach.

  Worse, I find myself thinking about her more often than not. It’s becoming less about finding a way to meeting Elias, and more about wanting to meet with her. That’s not something I expected to happen.

  She’s not my type.

  And yet, she’s everything new, and fresh and alluring. She’s the breath of fresh air that I need. Someone who doesn’t pander to me but puts me in my place. Someone who treats me like a normal person instead of a demigod.

  Is it weird that I think about that night in the alleyway, and giving up my last photo of Ben.

  It saddens me, to have lost such a precious thing. I have many photos of him. But that was the last one.

  It was a decade ago, and yet it seems like yesterday.

  “You’re reading that book, you have his sister come here every day. Is there something you’re hiding? Rudy will be onto you before you can--”

  “Dottie, Dottie ... “ I say, closing the book. “There’s nothing going on.”

  “She’s here everyday.”

  I sigh out in exasperation. Seems like I have to explain this to every single person. “I like the milkshakes and food from that diner.”

  “I could have picked that up for you. God knows you have me running around after you like a headless chicken.” She walks around my room tidying up, like a mother, even if she’s a good couple of years younger than me. The main reason I picked her was because she was efficient.

  “Does it matter?” I cry out, unable to find a good enough answer to that.

  Dottie cocks her head. “Do you know how many column inches have been devoted to your and Alyssa’s new romance?”

  “Jesus, Dot. You’re beginning to sound a lot like Rudy. It’s scary.”

  “I’m only looking out for you.”

  I glance at my watch. Nina should be arriving here about now.

  “Look, why do you think I’m pursuing her?”

  “I have no idea. She’s not really your type.”

  I stop myself from rolling my eyes. “Exactly. She’s not my type, but what she is is Elias Cardoza’s sister. You do know who he is, don’t you?”

  “Yes. I know who he is. My boyfriend won’t shut up about him.”

  “There you go. That’s my plan. Rudy can’t get me a meeting with Elias, but maybe his sister can.” I wink at her and nod.

  “You should have left it to me to set up a meeting with him,” Dottie says.

  “Well, I’m taking care of it. Now, can you get me another two bottles of water? I’m really thirsty today.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  NINA

  * * *

  I knock on the door to Joni’s apartment. We’re going out tonight, on a rare girlie night out. A movie, then pizza.

  We used to do this a couple of times a month, but then Rhys came onto the scene and she suddenly didn’t have time for anyone else. It bothered me at first, when she shoved me to the side, but I have enough to keep myself busy, so I let her live in her little bubbly with Rhys.

&
nbsp; But today we both decided to put our recent disagreements behind us and do something fun. Besides, it’s been a lousy day. A god awful lousy day. I need this night out with a girlfriend.

  I went to deliver Callum’s lunch as usual, but just as I got to his trailer, Harper sent me a text with a link to a write up about him in a magazine. I was just about to put my cell phone away when I overheard Dottie and Callum talking. The trailer door was slightly ajar, and I’m not usually the type or person to eavesdrop, but something Callum said stopped me cold. He said something about me not being his type.

  ‘She’s Elias Cardoza’s sister. You do know who he is, don’t you?’

  I froze. Couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t move. And then I heard him talk about his plan and it sickened me to my stomach. I had been starting to entertain the remote possibility that Callum might be interested in me. Deep down, I’ve always believed that it was because of Elias, but it was nice to be able to dream about an alternate reason for his interest.

  And now he’s gone and confirmed it. Of course Callum isn’t interested in me. It’s Elias he wants, so that he can perfect his role, get into character, get some publicity with a real boxer. I’m just a means to an end, to help him get close to him because my brother isn’t so friendly, especially with people who want something, like Callum does.

  Hearing Callum say it out loud hit like one of Elias’s punches. I’ve always known that I’m not beautiful or worthy. I am unlovable. Hearing him explain to Dottie smacks into me like an unexpected left hook. I rushed away and couldn’t bring myself to walk into his trailer, pretending that I hadn’t heard a thing.

  I can hide my emotions well, but I was too shocked. His words had slapped me too hard and back to reality. I hovered around nearby, wondering how to get his lunch to him when Dottie walked by and I told her I was in a rush and handed it to her.

  That’s why I need tonight, with Joni. To get away from everything.

  “Hey,” I say, when she opens the door. She’s got two curlers in her hair.

  “Why are you...?” I raise my hand towards her head. It’s only the two of us, and I don’t understand why she’s making all this effort. I place my bag on the table, and follow her to the bedroom. “Why are you going to all this trouble? We’re only going to the movies.”