Holiday Spice & Everything Nice

by Conn, Claudy

  The room suddenly became quiet, Dylan took it as his opportunity to make his entrance. The only problem was, he wanted to throttle Jason when he saw his lips playfully kissing Abbie’s pert little nose. That was his job! Not Jason’s!

  To make matters worse, his heart deflated when he glanced upon the thousand megawatt smile plastered to Abbie’s face. A smile like that should be reserved for him and him only. Not because another guy kissed her.

  Dude, what is your problem? You sound like a chick! The pesky voice in his head reminded him that none of it mattered. As much as he may still want her, he couldn’t have her. Old feelings needed to stay buried, and he definitely would not entertain new feelings if they happened to spring up along the way.

  Dylan cleared his throat as he forged full steam into the room. Time to break up the fucking lovefest.

  “Hey Dylan, I didn’t know you were still here. I thought for sure you would have taken off by now.” Jason didn’t even bother to glance away from Abbie at the sudden intrusion.

  Abbie on the other hand had eyes for only Dylan.

  “Jason, can you give us a few minutes, please?” Abbie’s voice almost a whisper.

  “Yeah, just send me a text when you’re ready for me to come back.” Jason nodded his head and made his way out of the room, pulling the door closed behind him.

  “Well, that was—”

  “It’s nothing, really, Dylan. Jason and I are just—”

  Dylan cut her off, “Abbie, you don’t need to explain anything to me. Honestly, it’s okay.” As much as it pained him to say those words, he knew without a shadow of a doubt it was the truth. Abbie didn’t owe him a damn thing.

  “I brought you something.” Handing her the small bouquet of flowers, his heart leapt with joy when she smiled.

  “They’re beautiful. Thank you. Would you set them by the window?”

  “Sure.” Dylan took the flowers from her hand and placed them on the windowsill.

  “I have one more thing I picked up for you. I hope you like it.” He pulled the small Navy teddy bear from the gift bag and handed it to her. Watching very carefully for her reaction, he was pleased with himself when he saw the corners of her mouth lift in a smile.

  “Awe, it’s adorable. Thank you.” Abbie placed the bear next to her on the bed. “You didn’t have to do this.”

  “I know I didn’t. I wanted to. There’s a big difference.” Dylan winked.

  “Can I ask you a question, Dylan?”

  Dylan nodded and sat in the chair next to her. “Go for it.”

  Abbie let out a couple of soft sighs as if she were trying to figure out how to word the question. A minute, maybe two, passed and Abbie was still deep in thought.

  “It must be a tough one if it’s taking you this long to spit it out,” Dylan joked.

  “It’s just that—” Abbie took a deep breath, letting the words flow from her mouth, “—why are you here? I mean, not that I don’t appreciate having someone to hang out with, but let’s face it. I haven’t heard from you in years. You come home for your dad’s funeral and here you are, camped out with me. It doesn’t make any sense.”

  He had absolutely no idea why he was still at the hospital with Abbie. He kept telling himself once he knew she was okay, once she woke up, he’d leave. Yet, here he was. The idea of leaving her side made his chest ache.

  Chapter Seven

  Abbie waited impatiently for Dylan’s reply. It really wasn’t a hard question, but she needed an answer. The whole situation had a twilight zone kind of feel to it. Then again, real life always seemed to be stranger than fiction. Here she was, two weeks before Christmas, in the hospital, with her ex by her side. Bringing her presents to boot. While some may not question his motives, she had to. It was a force deep inside of her, spurring her on.

  “Is it so bad having me around?”

  Nice evasion, but it’s not going to work this time. “Not at all. I’m just curious.”

  “Well, Ms. Curious, if you must know. My mom is home sleeping, Jack and Kim are taking care of things at the pub, and I really don’t have anywhere else I need to be.”

  Abbie’s heart sank. “So, you’re here because you feel like you have to be? Is that it?”

  Why did his statement bother her so much? Maybe because all she wanted to hear was that he wanted to be with her? The last thing Abbie wanted was to feel like one of his damn obligations.

  “Part of me does feel like I need to be here with you. Though, if I’m honest with the both of us, I’m not sure why. The other part of me wants to be here with you, Abbs, to make sure you’re okay.”

  “I don’t want you to feel like you have to do anything for me, Dylan. I’m a big girl. I can take care of myself. I’ve been doing it for years.” She was beyond exhausted. Her sides ached from the near constant throwing up the night before. Being around Dylan made Abbie feel things she didn’t want to feel. On an emotional rollercoaster ride, she didn’t know if she should cry or laugh. Memories of the past, and her love for him, flooded her. But so did anger—and lots of it.

  LAD or life after Dylan, as she liked to call it, wasn’t easy. Eighteen and pregnant with zero income was exactly where she found herself. Abbie didn’t know what she would have done without the support of her family or Dylan's. Being completely truthful with herself, she had to admit she never expected him to walk away and never look back. She waited by the phone for days, weeks, months for him to call, but he never did. Each passing day, without a word from him, broke her heart more.

  At some point, her heart hardened where Dylan was concerned. The love she once had for him turned to resentment. As the years passed, her animosity grew to epic proportions. Giving birth to Emmie had been the single best moment of her life, but Dylan should have been there by her side. As Emmie grew from a baby to a child, so did the questions about her father.

  Abbie explained that her daddy was in the military and lived far away. Emmie seemed to accept the excuse most days. What Abbie didn’t like, was having to make up excuses. It wasn’t like she could, or would, say, “Well, sweetie, you see, your daddy doesn’t even know about you because he left before he found out I was pregnant. And I never heard from him again.”

  Abbie’s mom and dad, her friends, Dylan’s parents, even Jason tried to sway her into contacting Dylan. There was no way she was going to budge. As far as she was concerned, he walked out on her and never looked back. Why should she give two shits about what he wanted? He made it perfectly clear, with his complete silence, that he wanted nothing more to do with her. She wasn’t about to beg for him to be with her because he felt guilt or a responsibility for Emmie. No thank you. She could take care of her daughter on her own.

  “Abbs, if I didn’t want to be here, I wouldn’t be. Can we just leave it at that?” Dylan reclaimed his seat beside the bed.

  Taking a deep breath, Abbie let the words fly from her mouth. “No, Dylan. We can’t. It’s weird, all of it. You left, never called, never wrote, never emailed—not a single damn word from you. I was devastated when you left, even more so when I realized how little I really meant to you. I was under the impression you never wanted to talk to me again. Now you’re back in town and haven’t left my side. You’re bringing me presents and trying to hold my hand. Joking and laughing, just like old times. Yet, I get no explanation as to why you left like you did or why you’re here now. You’re giving me freaking whiplash. I don’t know what to think!”

  “I’m sorry, Abbie. I should have called, written—something.”

  “Miss. Johnson, I’m Dr. Brown. How are you feeling?”

  Abbie was beyond grateful for the interruption. Fighting with Dylan while she was in the hospital, and feeling like death warmed over, was not on her list of priorities for the day.

  “Tired and sore, but glad I’m not throwing up anymore.”

  “I think you should be okay to go home. You’re going to need to pick up a prescription to help keep the nausea at bay. Follow the instructions and t
ake it twice a day for the next five days. I want you to drink plenty of water. As far as diet, for the next couple of days, stick to things that will keep your stomach calm, like: toast, applesauce, Jell-O, and broth. Let your stomach get used to food slowly. Don’t overdo it.”

  “Great. Thanks.”

  “I’ll send a nurse in with your discharge instructions.”

  “When can she return to work?” Dylan asked.

  “She should take it easy for a few days. She had a pretty severe case of food poisoning. There’s no guarantee she’s seen the last of the vomiting or fever. If she gets worse, bring her back to the ER right away.”

  “I will. Thank you.” Dylan shook the doctor’s hand and turned to Abbie.

  “Looks like you’re getting sprung. I can give you a ride home if you’d like.”

  “It’s okay. I really don’t want to impose, and you should probably get back to your mom. Besides, Jason’s around here somewhere.”

  “Okay, if you insist. I really don’t mind, though.”

  Abbie really didn’t want Dylan taking her home. She’d feel obligated to talk to him when all she wanted to do was find her comfiest pair of yoga pants, a tank top, minus the bra thank you, and relax with her pillows and blankets on the couch, with Emmie snuggled up next to her. She knew she’d have to sit Dylan down and talk to him about Emmie sooner rather than later, but she wanted to wait until she felt at least a smidgen better.

  Chapter Eight

  Much to his own despair, Dylan obeyed Abbie’s wishes and headed back to the pub. Running on minimal sleep and high emotions, his departure was probably for the best. If Abbie’s interrogation would have continued, there’s no telling what verbal diarrhea would have flown from his lips. He found as soon as he opened his mouth around her, crap that he really didn’t want to admit to or say seemed to fly off his tongue. What the hell was up with that? Clear, effective communication had never been a problem for Dylan…until now.

  Dylan needed to clear his head before he saw her again. As it stood, regret filled his heart and mind. Remorse traveled through his veins and seeped through the pores of his skin. Never once did he expect for his feelings to return the second he laid eyes upon Abbie.

  The hurt he saw in her eyes nearly crushed his soul. Knowing he was responsible for her pain made him feel like an absolute ass. What the hell had he been thinking? A clean break? Even he couldn’t make sense of what his logic had been at eighteen.

  Dog-ass tired, Dylan pulled up to his childhood home. He was surprised that nothing had changed over the years. Other than the snow, the place looked exactly the same when he left for the Navy.

  His boots crunched in the snow when he walked across the driveway to the entrance. The arctic blast sliced through the layers he wore. Living in warm climates for the past six years thinned his blood. He’d forgotten how cold Cedar Falls could be in the winter. It was a bitter, painful cold, a lot like the pain he felt when he thought about how he’d hurt Abbie. He shook off the uncomfortable frame of mind, deciding to appreciate the snow. It’s hard to believe winter was once his favorite season. Oh how he missed snowboarding, skiing, and all the other winter activities he once enjoyed.

  His mom met him at the door with a hug.

  “How’s Abbie?” Linda asked.

  “She’s doing better. They released her about a half hour ago.” Dylan sat at the kitchen table and pulled off his boots.

  “Are you hungry? I can make something if you’d like.”

  “Actually, I’m starving, but I hate to make you cook.”

  “Nonsense, I don’t mind. How about scrambled eggs and bacon? That won’t take very long.”

  “Perfect.”

  Dylan watched as his mom flew around the kitchen in high gear. “How are you holding up?”

  Linda paused, a piece of raw bacon dangling from her fork. “It’s odd not having him here, not being able to talk to him. But I’m doing better than I expected. Your dad was sick for a while, honey. He was in so much pain. I’m going to miss him like mad, but—”

  “But what, Mom?”

  “Don’t hate me for saying this, but I made peace with your father’s death. He’s in peace. He’s not suffering anymore, and I know he’s in a better place. I’ll see him again one day.”

  “I’m sorry I wasn’t here. I should have been here.” Dylan ran his fingers over his forehead. The last time he’d really talked to his father had been years ago. He never tried to make amends after he joined the Navy. He always figured there would be time later. Little did he know he’d be robbed of that precious time. Wishing he could turn back the clock, the guilt ate him alive…again. Would it have been that hard to pick up a phone? To call his dad and say he was sorry, but he wanted to see the world? Would it have been so hard to call Abbie and let her know there wasn’t a day that went by that he didn’t think of her?

  Dylan honestly believed it was for the best for everyone involved if he just stayed away. Out of sight, out of mind. Though it didn’t work well for him, he hoped like hell it did for Abbie and his dad.

  “Baby, there is nothing you could have done. You got to talk to Daddy on the phone and he knows you loved him. That’s what matters the most.”

  “Was he still mad at me for going into the Navy? Not running Parker’s?”

  “Dylan, why would you think that? He was upset at first because you sprang the news on us, but I told you, long ago, he just wanted you to be happy.”

  “I know, I just—I should have been here.”

  “Honey, there was nothing you could have done. It was his time. Believe me when I tell you that the morphine no longer worked on his pain. Trust me when I tell you he’s in peace, finally. After all the pain, he’s not hurting anymore.” Linda gently wiped away the tears that started to fall. “I’m glad he’s not crying out in pain anymore. It was so hard towards the end. I would have done anything to take the pain from him, but I couldn’t. And nothing helped.”

  Dylan sat in silence, processing all his mom said.

  Linda slid a plate in front of him and grabbed another for herself before taking the seat next to him.

  “I know it’s hard coming back here. Everything looks the same, but it really isn’t. There’s been so much going on in our little town since you left.”

  Dylan nodded, not knowing what to say. The only things he managed to see so far on his visit were the pub, the hospital, and his old house. He thought about Abbie and Jason, the shock of seeing them both in uniform and their closeness at the hospital. He had so many questions and not enough answers. It seemed like no one wanted to give him any answers when it came to Abbie. The conversations he heard were hushed and cryptic at best. What the hell was everyone hiding? Would his mom tell him the truth if he asked?

  “So, what’s the deal with Abbie and Jason?” It was a chore for Dylan to keep his tone neutral. He took another bite, acting as if the answer didn’t really matter. Luckily, his mom couldn’t read his thoughts.

  “They’re partners, they work well together. I don’t know what else I can tell you. Have you tried talking to Abbie?”

  Was she kidding? Dylan could hardly believe his mom was going to act like the rest of them. It was the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back.

  “And another deflection when it comes to Abbie. What’s it going to take to get the truth out of anyone? You? Abbie? Jason? Tammy? All of the people I’d expect to be honest with me, yet none of you have. It’s been a series of non-answers, evasions, and deflections. What in the hell is going on around here?”

  Linda sat quietly, with her head down and her eyes on her plate, through her son’s outburst. Only when he stopped talking did she make eye contact with him.

  “Baby boy, you really need to talk to Abbie. There’s so much you have missed. So much that you need to know, but I made a promise years ago that I’d let her tell you. She promised the first time she talked to you, she’d tell you. I don’t know why she hasn’t yet.” Linda pushed her nearly full pl
ate away. “My suggestion would be to get a few hours of sleep. Give her time to get home and settled from the hospital, then pay her a visit.”

  “So, that’s how it’s going to be? Go see Abbie. Go talk to Abbie.” Dylan shook his head. The problem was, when he talked to Abbie, feelings were always involved. He couldn’t make a good decision around her if his life depended on it.

  “Dylan, you listen to me and you listen good. When you go talk to her, you keep your temper under control and your head clear. You listen to what she has to say. All of this could have been avoided if you wouldn’t have been so damn stubborn. If you would have only picked up the phone and called her, like I told you to.”

  “What could have been avoided, Mom?”

  “Get some rest and go see Abbie. I made up the guest room for you and there are clean towels in the bathroom if you want to shower.”

  Dylan rose from the chair and wrapped his mom in a tight bear hug. “I love you, Mom.”

  “I love you, too, baby boy. Please, for once, listen to what I’m telling you.”

  Chapter Nine

  Abbie’s jaw clenched with each bounce of the car as Jason tried in vain to traverse her narrow, winding, bumpy as hell driveway. The rocking motion from the series of slow starts and stops made her want to hurl all over again. She lowered the window to suck in a blast of air, hoping it would help her current bout of nausea. Times like this she wanted to kick herself for opting for the private country home instead of the quaint two bedroom ranch located perfectly in the center of town.

  “Sorry, Abbs.” Jason slowed the car to a near crawl, trying to ease the jerking motions. “Just think, another good snowfall and these ruts should be packed full until spring.”