LINKED (The Bening Files Book 1)

by Rachel Trautmiller

  “I’m an all or nothing kind of guy.”

  “We love you like a son, Jordan, but I’ve got to protect my daughter.”

  “I’m not here to hurt her.”

  “You left once.”

  “A stupid mistake I don’t intend to repeat.”

  “Your departing note was a low blow. I’m sure you meant it as a goodbye to all of us, but McKenna found it first. She insisted something bad happened to you. I’d like to see you explain the situation to your daughter without understanding the reason yourself.”

  How could Jordan clarify what led up to that note? Should he tell Raphael that Birmingham broke into their guest-house ten years ago and tried to convince Jordan to give up searching for his mother’s killer? That the law had everything under control and they should try to be friends at the very least. That Cassidy would have wanted it that way. Jordan knew better.

  Birmingham couldn’t have cared less about a dead woman’s wishes. Birmingham wanted what Birmingham wanted. And when he couldn’t get it, he’d resorted to other measures. Cut brake lines, accidents that weren’t really accidents.

  Jordan had run like a scared kid believing his biological father would stop at nothing. And why not? He’d made Cassidy Bening’s life miserable until the very end.

  “Most of the time McKenna is as strong as she seems.” Raphael broke into his thoughts. “In the rare occasion when the opposite is true, she won’t admit it. Don’t make me regret placing my daughter in your hands.”

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  “Your father’s stable right now.” The nurse on the other end of the phone said.

  Jordan stopped pacing inside McKenna’s bedroom long enough to cringe. Human curiosity had made him check up on Birmingham. Nothing more.

  And, thanks, to HIPPA privacy laws, Birmingham knew Jordan had called in and gathered information, because the nurse had gained Birmingham’s permission to do so.

  Jordan should have hung up the moment the nurse asked for his name and relationship to the patient. Or used his badge to garner the information.

  He should blame McKenna for this. If she’d ordered him to call the hospital and check on Birmingham, he’d never have done it. But she had to go and tell him that wound story and show him her scar. He took a breath. “Are the doctors going to run any tests?”

  “Dr. Fox is in with him right now. He has an angiogram scheduled at eight tomorrow morning. The procedure doesn’t take long. Visiting hours are over for today, but if you want to come in right away in the morning, we can go over all this with you and your—”

  “No,” Jordan cut in. “Thanks, anyway.” He disconnected the call. He hadn’t been inside a hospital since his mother’s death. Plenty of morgues and ME’s offices, but no hospitals. That wouldn’t change no matter how many scars McKenna revealed.

  She stuck her head through the oversized window that led to the roof. “What’s the verdict?”

  “He’ll survive.” Jordan walked over to the window and climbed out onto the roof where she sat. “What are you doing out here?”

  “Thinking about what we’ll name our dog and children.” She looked up at the first stars appearing in the fading light. “How’s the nose?”

  He touched the edge of the splint. “Perfect.”

  “Sorry about my dad.”

  “He’s just trying to protect you.” Unlike mine, who might be trying to harm you. Jordan took a seat next to her. All of his suspicions lodged in his throat, begging for release.

  “He worries too much. We get married and he jumps to the conclusion that I must be pregnant.”

  Jordan’s stomach took a nosedive. He clasped his hands together. “I feel like a real jerk, but I’ve got to ask. Is there any chance you could be?” He prayed for a simple I’m-on-some-type-of-contraceptive-don’t-worry-about-it speech.

  “I think we’re in the clear.”

  “You think?” His voice came out hoarse. “After the day we’ve had, ‘you think’ is the best you can give me?”

  McKenna bit her lower lip.

  He could feel his heart slamming against his ribcage. “How long are you planning to torture me?”

  “What?” The word came out on half-chuckle.

  “You either know or you don’t, McKenna. There’s no in between. I’m not above dragging you to the drugstore.”

  She rubbed her face. “I can’t believe I’m having this conversation with you.”

  Jordan worked hard not to let panic creep into his words. “Better now rather than later.”

  “Most over-the-counter tests won’t give the most accurate answer until you’ve had a missed period.” She must have picked up on some of his anxiety because she said, “I’m not sick. Nothing aches. I’m not craving pickles and ice cream. And my period could come as early as tomorrow or as late as next month. Happy?”

  “Ask me in a month.” He expelled a breath. “I like kids. It’s not that. I look at Birmingham and can’t imagine what I’d do if I turned into him.” Or passed on those genes. To him fathering children was like a pregnant woman, hopped up on cocaine, hoping her unborn child came out healthy.

  It wasn’t a chance he wanted to take. “He professed undying love to my mom, but when she discovered she was pregnant, he wasn’t anywhere to be found. A complete stranger had more fatherly instinct than he did.”

  Matthew.

  “You don’t look much like Birmingham, but there must be a slight resemblance because I felt like I should know him.”

  No. “You talked to him?”

  “He sat at my table and introduced himself. Before he collapsed, he offered to help me find a band for Kelly’s wedding.”

  “No.” Now, he wanted to go to the hospital and kick him around some, heart attack or not. “He knows exactly who you are, McKenna. So, whatever line he fed you, forget it. Forget everything he said.”

  “Why would he lie about knowing me? Why not just say ‘hey your Jordan’s friend’?”

  “That’s what he does. He did that to my mom. He’s done it to me.”

  She fingered the edge of her Duke University sweatshirt. “Okay, I get it, steer clear.” She looked at him then. “Is that so hard to say?”

  “Yeah, it is. You might deny it, Slick, but you’re one stubborn woman.”

  McKenna made a face at him. “Stubborn, not stupid.”

  “I remember being about sixteen, and complaining to my mom about something you’d done. I can’t remember what it was, but I do remember thinking that you shouldn’t do it. That you were probably going to get yourself tangled up in a whole bunch of trouble.”

  McKenna swayed toward him and nudged him with her body. “You probably came along for the ride.”

  He laughed. “My mom shrugged and said that being stubborn just meant you knew what you wanted.” He didn’t add what his mother had said after that.

  “If it’s important enough, you’ll figure out how to change McKenna’s mind.”

  “She was probably glad you were her kid instead of me.”

  “I don’t know. She was pretty freaked when I told her I wanted to study criminology.”

  Jordan could almost imagine his mom dealing with the hazards of his work if she were still alive. He remembered the way she always worried about Matthew when he worked on a case. Of course, he’d been seventeen then, and able to recognize the signs. If asked, she would have denied it. Maybe she figured a sane woman wouldn’t worry over an ex-husband she never saw or talked to.

  “If my mom were still alive, she’d have a stomach ulcer by now.”

  That evoked a chuckle from McKenna. “Think she would have reacted like my dad earlier?”

  “Hard to say. Most of the time she was pretty laid back.” It felt good to talk about his mom without her death painting every memory red.

  “I don’t know. Remember that time we convinced Matthew to let us ride with him during his shift?”

  “We? You talked him into that.”

  “You came along. I can still
remember the look on her face when we brought you home. She had no idea where you were and a police cruiser pulled into her driveway. I imagine she pictured the worst.”

  When Matthew got out of the car and opened Jordan’s backseat door, he knew he was in for it. “Gig’s up, son. You didn’t ask her, like you said, did you? You’re seventeen, Jordan, least you could have done was leave a note.”

  “She never would have let me go, if I had asked.” It had been one of his rare moments of rebellion. He’d wanted to be with McKenna and Matthew’s world interested him.

  After his mom had yelled at him and Matthew, she hugged Jordan until he thought his eyes might pop out of their sockets.

  “They started talking a little more after that.”

  “Yeah.” Jordan looked up at the sky as a shooting star sped through it. Times like these made him feel as if he’d never left. Everything would be different if he hadn’t, but he couldn’t say if that would have been good or bad.

  Sure, they wouldn’t be married, but the past would still sit between them, unspoken.

  “Did you ever write to us, Jordan?” The question was so soft, he thought he’d imagined it until McKenna turned in his direction. “I’ve tried telling myself that in the scheme of things it doesn’t matter, but here I am.”

  He’d thought about her safety plenty while they were apart, but he’d never stopped to think about her feelings or how she would deal with his absence. He thought distance would do the trick. End of story.

  All the empty excuses in the world wouldn’t change the facts. He hadn’t written because he hadn’t know what to say or what he’d do if he got a reply.

  “Your college grad announcement managed to find its way into my mailbox.”

  “Who sent it?”

  “There wasn’t a return address.” He had his suspicions. It had jump-started his life and reminded him that he couldn’t hide from the past. “Slick.” He laid his hand on her back. “I’m a jerk. Plain and simple.”

  White teeth flashed. “That the best you can do in the way of an apology?”

  “I’ll make it up to you by signing those papers. Then you can patch things up with Dillon.”

  “Enticing offer. Will you be my maid-of-honor?” McKenna batted her eyelashes.

  “I planned on being the drunk ex that shows up uninvited, smashes the wedding cake and throws up on the bride.”

  “But not before attempting to punch the groom?”

  “Yeah, that has the makings of movie written all over it.”

  She tried to suppress a smile and failed. “You know, if we lived in a different time we’d have to remain married. No one would want, um, damaged goods and—”

  “Hold it.” He let out the breath he’d been holding. “Damaged goods? I don’t know where you got an idea like that. There’s nothing damaged about you.”

  She blushed to the roots of her hair. He couldn’t ever remember her blushing when they were kids. Especially over something he said.

  “You know what I mean.” McKenna cleared her throat. “In today’s society, with no more than a signature, if you’re lucky, it’s all over. Dissolved. Easy as that.” McKenna snapped her fingers.

  “We should probably have a serious talk about that.” Jordan rubbed the back of his neck and sat forward. “In light of recent events, I feel like we should give this a shot.”

  “What exactly does a ‘shot’ mean?” She hugged her legs closer as the wind rustled the leaves on the trees.

  “We’re friends, right?” He licked his suddenly dry lips. He had to make this work. Make it sound plausible, even appealing. “You’re searching for an apartment and I have an extra bedroom.”

  “Fine. I move in with you, then what?” She picked up a twig that had fallen from the tree that loomed over the roof and snapped it into tiny pieces.

  If he weren’t careful, his life would end up like that. Tiny pieces of what was once whole. Whom was he kidding? He wasn’t whole now.

  “What happens if we can’t stand each other, Jordan? We’re practically spending fourteen hours together every day the way it is.”

  He shrugged. “Just a drop in the bucket.”

  She eyed him in that you’ve-got-to-be-kidding-me way of hers. “There’s a lot unresolved issues between us.”

  “Everyone has unresolved issues.”

  “Okay, so I’m looking for an apartment and it makes sense for two friends to live together. But, whether we wanted to or not, we’ve sort of moved beyond that.” She looked between the two of them.

  This thing with McKenna could easily spiral out of control. He knew that, but it didn’t stop him. “Was that so hard to admit?”

  ###

  McKenna’s palms grew sweaty.

  Her stomach started tying itself in knots. This subject should have had an easy, simple let’s-not-even-go-there answer. But whenever Jordan came near, everything went the opposite of the way it should have.

  It was her favorite part about him.

  “I’m not in favor of the whole love ’em and leave ’em routine.”

  He laughed. “Me either.”

  “What are you in favor of?”

  “You,” he said slowly as he looked at her, then added, “and me.” Jordan rested on one arm, glanced at her lips, and leaned closer. The world stilled for a moment while she decided if she wanted him to kiss her. She looked into his eyes. He looked right back at her in that self-assured way of his. There was something so charmingly beautiful about the way he smiled as if he knew her thoughts. And the way his eyes searched hers.

  She licked her lips. The wind picked up around them and he looked away, breaking the moment.

  “What do you say? Will I see you at my house later?”

  McKenna smiled at his profile, seeing vulnerability that he tried to hide. This was probably the worst idea anyone ever had, but she wanted to accept anyway.

  “You don’t have to do this.”

  “What?” Confusion marred his handsome features.

  “This. The honorable thing. My parents will forgive us both.”

  All his good humor faded. “This doesn’t have anything to do with your parents.”

  “No?”

  “No.”

  A hefty pause lingered, making her wish she’d never brought the subject up in the first place. Happy Jordan, she understood. His brooding counterpart was another story where the ending didn’t exist and she, not quick enough to think of something that would satisfy all.

  But like a really good book that had her hooked, she kept coming back for more.

  “There are plenty of reasons why I shouldn’t move in with you.” One she’d probably be insane enough to fall for him. No other man had ever made her feel so alive. Or so comfortable being herself.

  “Such as?”

  “I have my own place.”

  “Then why are you staying here?”

  “While I was in Vegas, a water pipe burst. It was a few days before anyone discovered it. By then a lot of damage had been done, so they’re basically remodeling. I should be able to move back in next week.”

  Two cars pulled into the driveway and two sets of couples got out.

  “Wedding guests?”

  McKenna groaned as she watched her mom rush up and hug all four people standing in the driveway. “That’s just the beginning. Wait until Aunt Candace gets here. She’ll want all the nitty-gritty details about us. Plus, she has a tendency to drink too much and starts talking about all the injustices in the world.”

  Which usually led to Matthew being in prison for a crime he couldn’t have committed.

  “Stay with me.” It wasn’t a question, but either way she figured the offer wouldn’t come around a third time.

  Now or never. “Was that an order, Agent Bening?”

  “I outrank you.”

  She shook her head. “Nice try. What happens when my townhouse is livable again?”

  “Hmm, let’s see. I suppose I’ll call you and ask you out on a couple
of dates. You’ll inevitably fall in love with me, wherein you’ll have my ten children and spend the rest of our lives cleaning up after us.”

  She couldn’t even picture that. “A little arrogant, aren’t we?”

  “You can never have too much confidence in yourself.”

  “But you can have an over inflated ego,” she quipped. “I’m serious, though. I need to know.”

  “There’s no grand plan for this, McKenna. One day at a time is all I can offer.”

  She chewed the edge of her lip. “You know, if we’re going to give this a try maybe you should fill me in on the last couple of years.”

  Jordan shrugged. “Nothing interesting happened.”

  “Marry anybody in that time span?”

  “A close call, but no.” A relieved kind of laugh escaped him.

  Her mouth dropped open. “Really? How close are we talking?”

  “Too close. It’s a boring story. And to repeat your words, ‘we didn’t see eye-to-eye on a few key life issues.’ I figured it out a little late. About two weeks before the wedding.”

  “Ouch. And this happened how long ago?”

  “I don’t know. A couple years.” Jordan cleared his throat. “It’s not like we don’t know each other, McKenna. We grew up together.”

  “Ten years is a long time. People change.”

  “Sure, we’ve grown up. We’re adults with jobs and responsibilities. Not kids with endless possibilities and a full summer to explore them, but I’m still that same kid who liked hanging out with you. I’m just taller, smarter and more handsome.” He winked.

  “There’s that ego talking again.” She could handle this. Handle him. She’d played cops and robbers as a child, not house. One wrong move and she’d handcuff him and lock him up somewhere.

  “You know.” Jordan paused. “We could always sleep in the same bed and—”

  “You’re right.” She shoved him. “You are a jerk.”

  “Glad you’ve finally seen the light.” He chuckled, then sobered. “Tell me about Ciamitaro. Did you manage to track him down?”

  “Uh, yeah. I caught him at home. He answered the door in nothing but a towel.” That changed once she shoved her badge in his face. “And he definitely wasn’t alone, but I didn’t catch sight of his visitor, only heard her.” Whoever she was, her voice sounded familiar.