The Green Beans, Volume 5: The Phantom of the Auditorium

by Gabriel Gadget

Maria and Sara were determined to not lose track of Double H again. With the dangers that surrounded them, they felt it was imperative they keep her in sight. Their father was missing, they had no idea what Double H’s true motives were, and to top it all off, there were weird little things – mecha-monkeys, apparently – scuttling about in the walls and rafters.

  The small creatures, if they had anything to do with Jasper, were surely of a nefarious origin. The fact that they largely remained out of sight and giggled in such a disconcerting fashion did little to endear them to the sisters. Just the thought of them, remaining hidden in the shadows and devising unfortunate plots, was enough to make the spines of Sara and Maria crawl with shivers.

  Yet, they never gave a moment’s thought to retreat. As unsettling as this scenario was, there was not a chance they were going to turn tail and flee, when their dad was in jeopardy. Besides… this was an adventure, and the sisters couldn’t help but enjoy themselves, despite the danger they knew they were treading in.

  “We’ll find Dad, I know we will,” Sara said, her sister nodding in agreement. “We have to.”

  Maria was hanging onto Double H’s cape with both hands, in order to prevent them from becoming separated again. Sara held onto Maria’s shoulders to maintain contact, and they proceeded in this fashion. Double H didn’t seem to mind having her cape held, and she expertly led the girls through the service corridor, weaving between the many obstructions with ease.

  “We’re coming up on a ladder now,” Double H told them. “Just follow me down.”

  At the end of the corridor, a ladder with steel rungs descended through a circular hole in the floor. Maria reluctantly released Double H’s cape, and watched as the woman quickly hopped onto the ladder and disappeared down the hole, like a rabbit vanishing into a burrow.

  “We’d better go quick, before she gets too far ahead,” Sara said.

  Maria was already placing her hands on the first rungs of the ladder, and she quickly began descending. Sara followed, and they found themselves in a tunnel with just enough lighting for them to see the rungs they were grabbing.

  They found it was not the easiest task to negotiate a ladder while holding a hammer or wrench, but they were unwilling to leave their tools behind. As things currently stood, those hefty, solid steel objects might be their best line of defense against mechanical creatures of a similarly durable build.

  Beneath them, they could hear Double H’s boots as she quickly navigated the ladder. From above, they could hear more scuttling of unseen creatures in the corridor they had just vacated, which motivated the sisters to hasten their movement.

  After a short descent, they found themselves once more on a concrete floor. As they turned from the ladder, Sara and Maria gasped in surprise at what they saw.

  It was a vast room, long and rectangular, stretching far ahead of them. And unlike the service corridor and the ladder tunnel, this place benefited from superior lighting. Rows of overhead halogen bulbs made the room quite bright indeed, and the sisters ogled at the many things – curious things – that lay therein.

  The reason for the abundance of lighting was obvious. Those who labored in this room would need to be able to see what they were doing, for this was a workshop.

  One side of the room had a dozen or so long wooden tables, upon which were all manner of interesting items. There were countless dummy heads, each of them fitted with a high quality wig of convincing design.

  Additionally, there were a ton of masks, some being similar to the one Double H had worn in her persona as the Phantom. Others, however, were tremendously elaborate, designed to entirely cover a person’s head. The lifelike nature of these particular masks was astounding, and the sisters gawked at them in wonder.

  There were a number of other things in the workshop, as well. There were strange components, bench vises, and all sorts of weird objects on several of the tables. As far as the girls could tell, the place was being used to create fireworks and pyrotechnic supplies.

  There were also a great many tools that must have been used in the fabrication of the masks, as well as cabinets of various fabrics and supplies that were full to the point of bursting, spilling their contents out onto the tables. Hanging from the walls and ceiling, there were countless capes and costumes of all colors and design.

  The thought that all this had existed right beneath their feet, in the basement of their beloved school, was mind boggling.

  “What is this place?” Sara asked, her voice an awed whisper.

  “Welcome,” Double H said with pride, “to the Black Hats’ Espionage Department.”

  Maria gasped. “So it’s just as we suspected! You’re in league with Jasper and Ebenezer!”

  “Well, yes, I suppose you could put it that way, though it sounds a bit nefarious when you say it like that,” Double H said with a look of mild indignation. “In league, you say? I like to think of it as a mutually beneficial partnership. There’s no harm in crafting the world’s finest illusions and disguises, is there?”

  “I can’t believe this has been going on in the school,” Maria muttered in disbelief. “Right beneath us!”

  “The Espionage Department… do you remember when Ebenezer mentioned that?” Sara asked her sister.

  “Of course, when we confronted him in the museum. So you’re the one who built that mask for him, and helped him assume the identity of Eli Weatherbee, assistant curator,” Maria realized, pointing an accusatory finger at Double H.

  The woman smiled broadly, bouncing on the tips of her toes. “That was some pretty impressive work, wasn’t it? So lifelike! So convincing!”

  “It’s nothing to be proud of, you know,” Maria told her.

  “Ebenezer Widget-Bocker has done a lot of fairly terrible things,” Sara added.

  “Nah,” Double H said with a wave of her gloved hand, unfazed by the words. “I’m sure he’s not all that bad.”

  The sisters sighed in exasperation, realizing they weren’t going to get very far trying to talk reason with this unhinged keeper of the Espionage Department.

  “Speaking of which – do you know where Ebenezer is? I haven’t seen him or Jasper for several days, and I’m starting to get worried… not to mention hungry! I rely on Jasper for food, and he’s up and vanished on me. I really had no choice but to make my demands of Principal Funkmeyer. I’ve been surviving on the few snacks that remained down here, but now those are gone, too, and my belly’s been a’ rumbling.”

  “So... I take it you haven’t heard the news?” Maria asked.

  Double H grew anxious and began to fidget. “Heard what news? I lost contact with them a few days ago, and I’ve been in the dark since.”

  “Weren’t you paying attention to what Principal Funkmeyer was saying during our assembly?” Sara asked.

  “No, I was too busy preparing for my display of lights and sound,” Double H said.

  “Well, it seems like you need to do some catching up. When Jasper and Ebenezer were in the middle of one of their harebrained schemes, they brought an entire building - a museum, as a matter of fact - down on top of their heads,” Sara explained. “They haven’t been seen since, and… well, I’m sorry to tell you this, Double H, but they might have been crushed in the carnage. The building was totally destroyed… They might not be coming back.”

  At this news, Double H paled, and she leaned against one of the wooden workbenches to support herself. “Not… coming… back? Oh, dear. If that’s the case, then I’m afraid we’re all in a great deal of trouble.”

  Chapter Twenty

  Monkey Business