“Where’re the boys? I haven’t seen those little rascals in forever,” Dad asks, scanning the backyard.
“They’re coming with Momma. She sent me on ahead to see if y’all needed any help.”
Dad shakes his head with exaggeration. “Unh unh, we don’t need your kind of help. You just sit your pretty little self in a chair, kick your feet up, and let Cooper here bring you a beer. How’s that sound?”
She rests a hand on my father’s shoulder. “That sounds like...an old man try’na keep me outta his crawfish,” she says, all dimples.
“I don’t have any idea what you’re talkin’ about, little lady,” he responds with feigned innocence. “I gotta get back to my pot. You two kids enjoy yourselves.” He takes a few steps away before calling back, “Cooper, keep that girl away from our supper.”
“Yes, sir.” I look over at her gaping mouth and laugh.
Her finger jabs my chest. “I’m right, you know.”
“Usually are,” I agree, feeling my heart speed up at her nearness. “Want a beer?” I ask, already turning toward the cooler to grab one for myself.
“Sure.”
No sooner than we’ve sat at the wrought iron table and cracked open our drinks, do her momma and kids come strolling across the yard.
“Hey, Cooper,” Mrs. Elaine calls out, waving her hand wildly. “I made my crawfish dip,” she singsongs. Mrs. Elaine raises the dish pointing at it with her other hand and I give her a thumbs up.
Spencer’s momma makes the best dip I’ve ever tasted. Most everyone I know just mixes up some ketchup and mayonnaise, but hers is a mustard and mayonnaise mix with onions and spices. It’s delicious. My mouth’s watering just thinking about it.
Lake and Landon follow their grandmother inside the house, carrying dishes with the savage nipping at their heels.
“Thanks for today,” Spence says, placing her warm hand on top of mine. She squeezes it gently and my skin tingles beneath her touch. “The kids had such a great time.”
“And you?”
“Me?” she smiles. “I’m in the clouds, Cooper James.” Spencer kicks back in her chair, crossing her feet in my lap.
“Please, by all means.” I laugh. “Make yourself comfortable, Princess.”
Her nose scrunches as she pokes out her tongue. “Everyone’s spoilin’ me since I got here. I’m kinda enjoying this new life of leisure.”
I rest my hands on her ankles and massage gently, enjoying the freedom of being able to touch her again. “A real life princess.” I wink. “By the way, I like your shirt,” I add, waggling my eyebrows.
“Hah! I thought you might.”
Just then our mothers and her children file out of the house. Selfishly, I find myself wishing they’d stayed away a little while longer. It felt so good not having to share her for those few minutes. I’m supposed to be trying to get used to the idea of having her kids around, and all I want is to keep her all to myself.
“Spencer!” Momma calls out, rushing over with outstretched arms. Much to my disappointment, Spence pulls her legs from my lap and rises to greet my mother.
“Hi, Mrs. Nelly. Thanks for having us over.”
“Oh, hush, child. Y’all are family.” Momma rubs a few tears from her eyes, and I take that as my cue to run inside.
Placing a hand on the small of Spencer’s back to get her attention, I whisper in her ear, “Be right back.” She nods, never breaking eye contact with Momma, but I don’t miss the way her body shivers, nor the heated look in her eyes.
With a grin I can’t seem to wipe off my face, I rush inside and up to my room to change my shirt. It takes me a few minutes of rifling through drawers before I locate the one I’m looking for.
When I walk back outside, I find Spencer sitting Indian style on the edge of the brick patio. Her back is to me, hunched over as she races monster trucks with Kyle in the dirt. I stand there, feeling the stupid grin overtake my face as I listen to her rev her engine and taunt a two-year-old. A few minutes go by before she senses my presence. Her head whirls in my direction. “He...” Her greeting is lost as she looks up and snorts out the most unladylike laugh I have ever heard.
“Somethin’ funny?” I ask with a straight face that’s not easy to maintain.
“That’s awesome.” Spence laughs, pointing to my fresh shirt. It’s a black tee with a single crawfish in the center that says “Suck This.”
“I have to ask you a very serious question, Princess...”
“Yeah?”
“Do you consider yourself a true Cajun girl?”
She traps her bottom lip between her teeth as she stands, leaning in real close to whisper, “Guess you’ll have to find out, won’t ya?”
“You’re killin’ me, Spence.”
Savage looks up from his trucks, only just realizing I’m here. “Hi, man! You here!” He jumps up and latches onto my leg. And I’ll be damned if it doesn’t make me feel like a million fucking bucks, even if he is bustin’ my balls.
Spencer and I don’t have much time together after that, the kids and our mothers commanding most of her attention. But, just having her near, hearing her voice, her laugh, seeing her smile feels good. It feels right.
When Pops calls out that it’s time to grub, I fill a tray with crawfish, potatoes, and sausage, setting it down in my spot at the picnic table. Then, I walk over to the cooler to grab a fresh beer and decide to fetch one for Spence as well. I set hers down beside mine and drown a potato in Mrs. Elaine’s dip before lifting it to my mouth. But, before I even take the first bite, I catch a glimpse of Spencer. She’s filling trays for Lake and Landon, all the while telling little dude to hold on and she’ll peel his in just a minute. Everyone else, myself included, is getting ready to stuff our faces, and she can’t even eat.
I never realized before how selfless a job it is to be a mother—always just taking for granted the things my momma did for me. But, as I watch Spencer tend to all of their needs without complaint, I’m in awe of her. It’s a side of Spence I’ve never seen, and rather than feeling jealous over the way they monopolize all of her time, I’m struck with an overwhelming urge to take care of her.
Placing my potato back on the tray, I walk over to where Lake and Landon are waiting for her to bring them their food and drinks. I may be overstepping, but, damn it...someone needs to.
“Hey, boys,” I call out, standing next to them at the same wrought iron table Spence and I occupied earlier in the evening.
“Hey, Cooper,” Lake says, smiling, and Landon lifts two fingers from the table in a wave.
“How old are the two of you?”
They look a little confused by the question but answer together, “Twelve.”
I nod. A little younger than I’d suspected but still plenty old enough. “Old enough to dump crawfish onto a tray and grab drinks from a cooler?”
Sounds start sputtering from both of their mouths, like the thought never crossed their minds. I’m sure it hadn’t because it wouldn’t have crossed mine, either. Both of their faces redden with embarrassment. They aren’t bad kids. Just kids, and kids are inherently selfish.
Both boys get up from their chairs without a word, heading over to the coolers to grab their own sodas as two trays slam down onto the table simultaneously, jerking my attention back in that direction.
“Who do you think you are?” The she-devil who has invaded my princess’s body once again demands.
“Your friend?” I ask hesitantly. “Hopefully still with benefits...”
“Get over here,” Spencer says as the boys return to the table.
“Ooooooh,” they both chant in unison as she grabs my arm, jerking me around to the side of the house.
“I didn’t mean right this minute, Spence. We can wait to fool around ’til later.” I laugh. She doesn’t.
“You are not their father.”
Whoa. “Trust me, Spence. I am very aware.”
The tips of her ears turn fire red. “How dare you embarrass them
like that, huh? They hardly know you. It wasn’t your place to parent my children.”
“I never said I wanted to parent your children.”
Her face blanches, but she recovers quickly. “Mind. Your. Own. Business.”
“You are my business, babe. I care about you and was just trying to help.”
She scoffs. “By once again pointing out all of the ways I suck as a parent? You are overstepping your position.”
My blood is boiling. “And where exactly is my position, Princess? Between your thighs?”
Her hand flies out, connecting with my left cheek, and instantly her face pales. Spencer’s hands cup her open mouth and her eyes well up. “Oh my God. I’m sorry.”
Her hands are all over me, patting my chest, stroking my cheek as she continues to apologize. I grab both of her wrists firmly in mine and hold them down at her sides.
“This isn’t about me embarrassing those boys. This is about you and your need to prove to the world that you can do everything on your own. It’s about control.”
She pulls her lips between her teeth, biting hard to try to stop her tears. “I foolishly thought that friends were allowed to care for one another, but I’ve gotten the message loud and fucking clear, Spencer. Call me when you’re ready for me to assume my position. Until then, I’ll back right the fuck off.”
I leave her standing there and ignore the looks that our meddling parents are giving me from the table as I make my way through the front door.
She’s been home two fucking days and we’re already at each other’s throats. I knew she’d be a little upset about my correcting her children, but I didn’t expect that. How the hell am I supposed to bond with her kids and win her back if she won’t let me in? If all she wants is someone to screw when the mood strikes?
“Goddamnit!” I shout, punching the frame to my bedroom door before slamming it shut.
Spencer
What the hell just happened?
I hit him. I fucking hit him.
“Cooper, wait,” I cry out, chasing after him ’til he rounds the edge of the house. He doesn’t even look at me.
Throwing my hands in the air, I watch him go. To hell with this. I refuse to chase after him in front of my children.
Was I wrong? I mean, obviously I was wrong for hitting him, but he was wrong, too. How dare he insinuate that I’m only using him for a booty call?
But isn’t that what you’re doing, Spencer?
No. No, it’s not. We had a great time at the lake today, and afterward, here tonight, before this...whatever this is.
A knot begins to form in the pit of my stomach, and I suddenly find it difficult to swallow. The wood creeks as I lean my back against the side of the house, bending at the waist with my hands on my knees. I can’t breathe.
Ugh! I can’t do this right now. Kyle still needs to be fed dinner, and I’ve got to get all of the kids cleaned up and ready for bed. My boys start their first day at a new school tomorrow, and I should be focused on that, not hiding on the side of the neighbors’ house on the verge of tears because of a man. I don’t have time for fights, I don’t have time for feelings, and I most certainly don’t have time for fucking strings. I told him that from the beginning.
Why is he doing this to me?
Retrieving my phone from my back pocket, I decide to send him a text to apologize and maybe smooth things over.
Me: I’m sorry I hit you.
I wait around for a minute to see if he’ll reply, allowing time for my face to cool down, and hopefully some of the redness to leave my cheeks, but Cooper doesn’t respond, and I guess I don’t really expect him to.
With a heavy sigh, I come around the corner of the house, and the parents immediately stop talking, giving me worried smiles. Kyle is already eating with both Momma and Mrs. Nelly, and Mr. Neal is staring down at his food like it’s the most interesting thing he’s ever seen.
“Dis gooood cawfish, Mom.” Kyle beams, breaking the awkward silence. He’s got juice leaking down his face and arms, and his white shirt is covered in orange stains.
I force myself to smile back at my baby while trying to ignore the way my heart feels like it’s been wrapped in thorns. “I’m glad you’re enjoying it, bud.” I can’t disguise the pain in my voice.
“Go on up there and talk to him, honey. Whatever it is, y’all can fix it,” Coop’s mom urges.
My smile feels exactly like the lie that it is. “I’m just gonna go home and get the boys’ things together for school tomorrow. Thanks for dinner, Mrs. Nelly.” I place a kiss on the top of Kyle’s head, which is probably the only spot not covered in crustacean guts, and even that’s iffy.
“But, you didn’t even eat yet.” She wipes her hands off on a napkin and starts to rise. “Here, let me make you a plate.”
I hold up my hands to stop her. “I’ve lost my appetite. I’m fine, really. Thank you, though.”
I can’t handle the broken look on her face as I turn tail and head back to the house.
I keep checking my phone for a response from Cooper. Maybe an apology of his own or even a fuck you. The silence is killing me. Of course there’s not one, because with the way my attention is honed in on this phone, I’d have heard it if there was.
I practically jump out of my skin as I’m setting the blow dryer down and the message alert finally sounds, but the wind is swiftly knocked out of my sails when I see that the message is from Gina and not Asshole.
Gina: You will never guess who I ran into at the club last night.
Me: You’re right. Who?
Gina: Kyle’s sperm donor.
Me: Did he talk to you?
My phone starts vibrating in my hand.
“Don’t be mad at me, okay?” Gina asks nervously.
Oh shit. “What did you do, Gina?”
“Well, I, uh...I may have accidently told him you had a boy.”
“How do you accidentally tell someone the gender of another person’s child? That’s not that big of a deal, but why were you talking to him about Kyle in the first place?”
“He just came up to me and asked if you were around and I told him no...So, he asked how you were doing, and I said great.”
“Okaaaay...”
“Well, then he says that he might like to see the baby sometime, and I told him to leave you and Kyle the fuck alone.”
Good girl.
“But then he starts getting all googly eyed,” she continues, “going on about how he has a son. And I went off and told him that he doesn’t have shit because he gave up that right.”
“Well, what did he say after that?” I ask as my chest tightens.
“Nothin’ really. He just walked off and that was it. But, I feel really bad for even talking to him.”
“I’m sure he was just drunk and feeling sentimental. Don’t worry about it, Gi.” But, I have this sick feeling in my gut that Alex is about to cause problems.
“You think?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay, good...I can’t wait to see you next week!”
The thought of seeing my best friend brings a genuine smile to my face. “I can’t wait either, girl. You have no idea...”
Then I proceed to fill her in on all of the shit that’s been going on with me since I arrived here yesterday morning. Just two days. I can’t wait to see what the next weeks and months have in store for me.
The sound of the screen door slamming and the kids’ voices lures me down the stairs. Ignoring the curious looks from my mother, I send the twins up to take turns showering and scoop Kyle into my arms, returning to my bathroom to bathe and get him ready for bed.
I spend an extra long time rocking him tonight, continuing long after he’s fallen asleep. I run my finger over his face, studying his little features, which are mostly mine. His brown eyes and coloring are all he took from Alex. By the time that I lay him down, I’ve completely forgotten the fiasco from earlier this evening.
That is until I walk downstairs and find Momma
waiting at the table with the Yahtzee game laid out and two margaritas complete with little umbrellas and limes. She greets me with a cheesy grin. Could she be any more obvious?
“Took him a long time to go down tonight,” Momma observes, starting out with a little small talk. “Must’ve been over-tired from his busy day.”
I decide against telling her about Gina’s call, forcing a smile instead. “Must’ve been.”
“I sent the boys to bed.”
“Thanks, Ma,” I say, pulling out the chair across from hers.
I must say she impresses me with her ability to wait a full ten minutes into our game before drilling me about Coop.
“So...” she drawls, leaning across the table. Here it comes. “You gonna tell me what happened earlier tonight?” she asks, clearly annoyed that I haven’t spilled voluntarily by now.
“Not if I don’t have to.”
“Well, you have to. What the heck happened? I thought things were going so well.”
My eyes well up, and Momma’s face falls. I know it’s more than just this mess with Coop that has me so emotional. It’s everything compounding, and I feel like I’m falling apart. This shit with Alex is just the icing on the cake, and I don’t even know for sure that there is any shit with Alex.
“We had a fight.”
Momma’s lips purse in annoyance. “Well, no shit, Sherlock. What about?”
I nervously click the pen in my hand repeatedly as I fill her in. “I heard him fussing at the boys and called him on it. He accused me of something that wasn’t true...mostly. And I got pissed and...” Oh God, I still can’t believe I slapped him.
“And...?”
“I, uh...I sort of hit...him”
Momma stares at me, wide-eyed, before shaking herself from a stupor. “You. Hit. Him?” she says, annunciating each syllable. “Did I just hear that right? My old ears must not be working correctly because I could swear you just told me that my thirty-three-year-old daughter just hit someone because she was angry...” Her judgy eyes scour my face. “Did I hear that right, Spencer Rose?”
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