“I feel bad enough without you rubbing it in.”
She stands up from her seat, shoving the game back into the box with attitude. “Well, you should feel bad. Are you trying to push him away? Do you not want him back, Spencer? Because I’m hella confused right now.”
I can’t hold it in any longer as the stress of today pours out of my eyes like a raging river. “It doesn’t matter what I want, Momma,” I wail, rising from my seat. “The only thing that matters anymore is what’s best for my boys. Why can’t you understand that?”
“I do understand that, and I think you and Cooper together is it,” she insists, cupping my hands in hers.
“Momma...listen to me, please?”
She nods.
“Cooper does not want kids. He left his wife because she wanted to have children. That’s why they got divorced, and that’s how badly he doesn’t want them. I have three and their own fathers don’t want them. I’m not about to get involved romantically with another man who doesn’t want them. They’ve had more than enough disappointment in their short lives.”
Momma’s hands lift to my shoulders. She pulls me close, wrapping her arms around my neck, and I cry harder. “You’re sup-p-p-posed to be on m-my s-side, Mom.”
Her fingers comb through my hair. “I am, honey. I’m always on your side. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize...” She sighs. “I’m sorry, Spence.”
After our emotions settle a bit, Mom and I snuggle on the couch and watch TV before heading up for the night.
When I enter my room, my body seems to glide right over to the window where I stare across the yard at Cooper’s. His light is on, but the curtains are drawn tight. It’s only taken me two days to push him away, and it hurts far worse than it should. Because, no matter how many times I say that I don’t want the strings, the reality is that I’ve been tied to Cooper since I was just a little girl.
There is a nagging pain in my chest. My heart physically aches for that man. I’ve picked up my phone at least a dozen times to type out another message, one that maybe he would answer. But, what do I say? I’m sorry again? No other person has ever been able to hurt me the way that Cooper can, and he doesn’t even have to try. A simple unanswered text between “friends” has me tied up in knots.
When I finally collapse into bed, I crave him. It’s stupid. I’m pissed at both Cooper and myself, and I’m stressed as fuck, but all I want is for him to make love to me. For him to make it all better, because I know that it would. Sex heals everything...well, almost. I’m fairly certain that if I summonsed him he’d come, but I don’t want it like this. Not while he thinks that that’s all I want from him. Fabio doesn’t even tempt me. It’s finally happened. I’m broken.
I drift off to sleep both horny and frustrated.
At exactly one in the morning, a text comes in and I’m instantly wide awake as if I’d never even gone to sleep. My heart soars, beating rapidly, assuming that Coop has finally replied, and then it plummets just as quickly when a different name pops up on the screen.
Latin Lovah: Can you just send me a picture?
I can’t breathe. Can. Not. Breathe. My eyes begin to burn as I screenshot his message and shoot it over to Gina, not caring about the time. I’m freaking the fuck out.
Gina: Don’t answer. Are you okay, babe? Just ignore him. You don’t owe him shit.
Me: Okay. I’m scared.
Gina: I’m sorry, honey. I’m so sorry.
My first thought is to message Cooper. He’s a lawyer. He could help me or at least tell me what to expect. But, I can’t do that because I basically told him to butt the fuck out earlier today.
With a few deep breaths, I attempt to calm my racing heart. I try to rationalize with myself. Nothing’s happened. He asked for a picture. Maybe he will just go back into the hole he’s been hiding in for the past three years. As if I could be that lucky.
Clicking back over to my messages with Cooper, I find that there’s still no reply. With a lump in my throat, I send him another.
Me: This hurts.
It’s the middle of the night, and I don’t expect a reply, but almost immediately my phone sounds.
Asshole: Is this a summons?
Me: No. I’m just sorry. I miss you already.
Asshole: I’m sorry. That sounds like strings. Hit me up if you need to take advantage of my position. I’m always up for a good fuck.
Ouch.
Shit, does that hurt. Cooper has never ever been downright cruel to me. Even when we broke up, he did it in the gentlest way he could. I shouldn’t have messaged him. I shouldn’t have come back here. If it was only me, I’d leave tomorrow. But, what would I say to my children? Psych! We’re going back home, kids. No. I have to stay, and hopefully he will get his own place soon and things will blow over.
Cooper
Today sucked.
This entire week sucked. Every single day since Spence and I got into it has sucked more than the one before. But, today...today, I’ve reached my breaking point.
I never allow myself to become emotionally connected to my cases. Hell, I was a divorce attorney before moving home. You won’t make a living in Cedar Grove as a divorce attorney. There just aren’t enough of them.
Dad’s firm, which will soon be mine, practices all aspects of family law, and today I got my first taste of child custody. Let’s just say that it wasn’t a good one. We lost. We fucking lost, and I have never questioned my career choice until today.
A huge chunk of our clientele belongs to the Department of Child Protective Services. We represent the children and the state of Louisiana. Today’s case should have been cut and dry. Our client is a two-year-old little girl who’s been living with her foster parents for almost a year. The biological mother has missed nearly all visitations and the next logical step would be to seek termination of parental rights and to allow her new family to adopt her.
But the mother’s attorney threw us a curve ball. Apparently, when said child was removed from her mother’s custody, the social workers forgot to file some paperwork. Since the paperwork had never been filed, the child technically should never have been removed from the home, and the judge did the only thing that the law allows him to do. He gave her back.
Normally, I’m a man who believes in the law, but today the law can suck my fucking dick because I will never forget the pain in those foster parents’ faces or their raw, guttural cries for as long as I live.
So, here I am, pulling up to the house at two o’clock in the afternoon because Dad didn’t want me back in the office. Not that I had any desire to work anymore today. I may never go in to work again considering the way I feel right now.
I park my truck and don’t even bring my briefcase with me. I can’t. I’m in desperate need of a mental break. Maybe I’ll hit up the bar tonight.
When I walk through the door, it is with every intention of swallowing a few Advil and taking my ass straight to bed for a much-needed nap, but nothing about this day is going as planned.
I hang my keys on the key holder next to the door and toe off my shoes. “I’m home, Ma. I’m gonna go lie down and try to forget this shit day.”
The voice I hear is not the one I’m expecting. “My man here! My man here, Nana!”
I won’t even tell you that my heart does a fucking summersault in my chest as Savage comes running through the hall right at me because that would make me a pussy.
“Hey, little dude,” I say, shocked to see him in my mother’s house. Did he just call her Nana? What the hell?
“You have shit day, Pooper?” he asks with genuine concern.
And after one of the worst days I’ve had in a very long time, this little guy has me in stitches not even two minutes after walking through the door.
“Don’t say shit, Kyle. You’re momma’s gonna kick my butt, and I don’t know if you know this yet, but your mom has a hell of a swing.”
“My mom kick you butt?”
“She will if you keep saying that word.
”
“Ohhh,” he says, widening his big brown eyes. “Wanna come play wif me in duh room, Pooper?”
“Kyle?” Momma calls, her voice coming from the direction of the kitchen. Within seconds, she rounds the corner, drying her hands on the front of her apron. “Oh, there you are!” she says. “And you found a friend!” She looks up at me with sad eyes. “Sorry about court. Dad told me you’re taking it hard.”
“Hey,” I answer, giving her a hug. “I really don’t wanna talk about it,” I say, shaking my head and pinching the bridge of my nose. “What’s he doing here?”
“Oh, Spencer had a job interview today, and I offered to watch him for her. Elaine was gonna take a day off from teaching, but there’s no sense in that, right?” She seems nervous. Like I’m going to lay into her for keeping him just because Spencer and I aren’t speaking.
“It’s fine, Ma. I’m sure Spence appreciates it.”
Her cheeks puff up and she blows out a relieved sigh.
“You two having fun?” I ask, and Kyle smiles up at me, all teeth. “Did I hear him right? Is he calling you Nana?”
Momma’s face flushes with embarrassment. “Well, uh. He can’t really say Nelly. The Ls are hard for him. I asked Spencer, and she said it was okay.”
Good. Let her love on Spencer’s kids and maybe she’ll get over the fact that I’m not giving her grandchildren. “It’s cool. Just surprised me, is all.” My mom is on cloud nine with this kid. How could I be upset seeing how happy he makes her.
“Yet’s go play now.” Kyle tugs my arm and I allow him to lead me until I see the room we’re heading for.
“Oh no. We can’t play in there.”
“Nana say yes!”
My eyes narrow as I assess him. “Did you really ask her?”
He nods. Hmm.
We reach the formal living room. The one with the white carpet and antique furniture. The very same room that I’ve gotten my ass busted for leaving footprints in. Sure enough, there’s a toy box in the corner overflowing with trucks and balls, as well as a TV on a console table that wasn’t there this morning.
“Momma...”
She walks over with a big ol’ smile, like nothing is untoward. “He needed a place to keep his toys.”
“And you gave him this room?” I ask in disbelief.
“Well, I mean...it’s just sitting here unused. Seems sort of silly, right?”
I scoff. “It sure didn’t seem silly to you when you were beating the shit out of me for sneaking in here.”
She laughs again. “Coop, don’t tell me you’re jealous of a two-year-old.”
“I’m not jealous...Just shocked.”
“Good. And stop saying the s-h-i-t word in front of Savage or that little slap Spencer gave you last weekend is gonna feel like a love tap.” She pats the side of my face, smiling.
How the hell does she know about that?
“Elaine,” she says in answer to my unspoken question before turning away and heading back to her kitchen.
So, Spencer told her mom...Nice. My parents knowing all of my fucking business is really getting old quick.
“C’mon, man. Come see my stuff.”
Playtime with Kyle is exactly what I need. I can’t remember the last time I sat on the floor and pushed cars around. It’s impossible to be upset around this kid. He just breeds happiness. I can’t even explain it.
After an hour in the forbidden room, I’ve got the Hot Dog song from Mickey Mouse on loop in my head and life feels pretty damned good.
Then suddenly Kyle gets this serious look on his face, and I think he might cry.
“Is something wrong, Savage?”
He nods and his little eyes gloss over. “My weewee hurtin’.”
Maybe I misheard him. “Your what?”
“My weewee hurtin’,” he says again, slapping the front of his pants.
“Uhhh, Ma?” I call out. Help...
She peeks her head inside. “He has a little diaper rash, Cooper. He’ll be fine.”
I look back over to my little buddy. “You have a rash?” I ask with a frown. “I’m sorry, little dude, I hope you feel better.”
“Yeah, I have rash,” he says with a pout. “You kiss it?”
Holy fucking shit. I mean...I can’t even make this stuff up. This kid is hilarious.
“You kiss my owie?” he asks again.
Lord, I need to stop laughing long enough to answer him. “Kyle, I’m not kissing your weewee.”
“You not nice, Pooper.” His hands cross on his chest and his bottom lip hangs to the floor. He’s got that pout down to a T. And, of course, right now is when Spencer decides to walk in. I can tell she wasn’t expecting to see me. Her nerves are written all over her face. Our eyes lock and both of us stare without saying a word.
Kyle runs over to his mom, still pouting. “Mommy, Pooper not kiss my weewee.”
“Uhhhh...” She looks around in confusion. “Good?”
“I have owie, Mommy. You kiss it!”
Light bulb.
Her cheeks flame with embarrassment as she bursts into a fit of laughter.
“He has a little rash,” Momma says as she walks over to greet Spencer, who still hasn’t caught her breath. “I put some butt paste on it when I changed his diaper.”
When her laughter finally dies down, Spencer thanks my mother.
“How’d it go?” Momma asks, completely unfazed by Kyle’s owie.
“It went well. I think I’ll get it, actually. It’s not really what I wanna be doing, but small towns aren’t really ideal for what I do.”
I laugh to myself at the way she avoids using her title with my mother.
“I understand,” Momma says, not taking the discussion any further. “Well, let me know if you ever need me to keep him again. He is just the sweetest little thing.”
Absorbed in her shock at seeing me when she walked in and the ridiculous conversation with her son, Spence only just realizes that her kid has taken over the forbidden room.
“You put him in here?” she asks with her eyes bugging out.
Momma rolls her eyes, like it’s so not a big deal. “He needed his own space.”
Spence nods. “All righty, then.” She reaches out for Kyle. “Ready to go home, baby? Gramma Elaine and your brothers will be back soon.”
“You not comin’, Pooper?”
I hate that things are so fucking awkward between us. “Not today, buddy. Thanks for letting me play with you, though. I had fun.”
“Bye, man!” he calls out as his mother heads for the door. “I miss you, man!”
Spencer
I couldn’t get out of that house fast enough. I hadn’t even seen Cooper’s truck parked in his spot on the way in. I hadn’t looked because he’s never home this early. Most nights I don’t see his truck roll up ’til six or seven. And, yes, I’ve watched.
My chest feels tight as I cross the yard back over to Momma’s, and before I’ve even put the key in the door, Mom and my boys pull into the drive. I must admit that it’s nice having my mother work at their school so that I don’t have to worry about picking them up after football practice. She sticks around ’til they’re done to complete her lesson plans.
Unlocking the door, I shove it open with my hip and set Kyle down inside, turning back around to wave hello to my boys, who are climbing out of Mom’s van.
“How was practice?”
I hear them talking but am unable to focus on a word they say as my attention is stolen by the man who’s just stepped out onto the neighbors’ porch. He must’ve changed the minute Kyle and I left, trading the suit for jeans that hug his ass to perfection and a blue button down with the sleeves cuffed at the elbows. His hair is freshly styled in that just fucked look he wears so well.
“Hey, boys!” he calls out, waving at the kids as he heads in the direction of his truck.
The boys both take off toward him, and I have to force myself to turn away and join Kyle and Momma, who at some point have m
anaged to sneak around me, inside of the house.
“How was your interview, baby?” Mom asks as she snatches an apple from the fruit bowl and begins cutting it into slices for Kyle.
“You’re spoiling me,” I tell her, placing a kiss on her cheek. “You may never get rid of me.” I wink, resting my forearms on the counter across from her.
“I like having people to take care of again. Y’all don’t have to leave. I told you that already.”
“I know, Momma. We’ll see.” I snatch a slice of apple from the plate in front of her. “The interview was good. School counselor isn’t exactly at the top of my list.” I frown. “Oh my God, Principal George actually said that I’d be the perfect assistant to the nurse when it came time for sex ed because she’s a big ol’ prude.” I laugh.
“Nuh unh. He said that?”
I finish chewing and swallow before answering. “Yep. This whole town is obsessed with my job. It’s so embarrassing.”
Lake and Landon finally make their way into the house, bringing with them the scent of ass. Gag. The whole house smells as soon as they walk inside. I don’t know how Momma survives the ride home with them in the afternoons.
“Peeyew,” I gripe, pinching my nose. “Showers, boys!”
“Awe,” Landon whines, “can I get a snack first?”
“Dude, you smell like you’ve been dipped in shit. Go shower and then get a snack.”
Lake hangs back, allowing Landon, who is always starving, to shower first. “Hey, Mom...”
“Yeah?”
“Are, uh...are you and Cooper still fighting?”
I’m not sure how to answer that. Of course they figured out what was going on. They aren’t babies anymore. “Um, we aren’t fighting.”
Lake lifts his brows in disbelief. “Well, ’cause I don’t want you to be mad at him because of us. He’s nice, and he was right, too. He wasn’t mean to us or anything. Just pointed out that there’s some things we could be doing for ourselves to help you out.”
“Lake, I appreciate your concern. Really, I do. But, it’s more complicated than that. I don’t want you worrying about it. Coop and I have been friends for a long, long time, and this will eventually blow over.” I hope.
Boomerangers Page 9
