Boomerangers

by Heather M. Orgeron

  When I raise my head from his lap, Coop’s eyes are still closed. His breathing labored. Smiling triumphantly to myself, I wipe at my mouth then turn to find Mr. Neal standing right outside of Cooper’s window. He’s staring off to the side, but from the way he’s specifically avoiding looking into the truck, I’m positive that he’s just gotten a fucking eyeful of his son’s dick in my mouth.

  I elbow Cooper in the chest hard and he jumps. “What the hell’d you do that for?” His hand comes up, rubbing at the spot where I’ve just hit him.

  My throat goes dry and I break out in a cold sweat. I feel like I’m going to be sick and am seconds away from releasing Niagara Falls in his truck. “I’m about ninety-nine percent sure your father just saw us.” I motion with my head to the window where Mr. Neal is still staring out into space.

  Coop gets an evil gleam in his eye as he tucks his dick back into his slacks and begins rolling the window down. “Hey, Pops. You need something?”

  “Huh?” his dad answers, jumping. “Oh no, I was, uh...just watching a squirrel in that tree over there trying to get a nut.”

  I literally choke on my saliva so badly that Coop has to beat on my back.

  “All right. Just checkin’ on ya. Spence and I are going to finish our conversation and then we’ll be right in.”

  “Oh. Okay...that sounds good, son.” Mr. Neal never turns his head in our direction throughout the entire interaction. Whatever tiny glint of hope I’d had that he hadn’t witnessed what just went down in this truck is smashed.

  “So, you should probably go inside the house and let mom know that we’ll be inside in just a minute,” Coop urges, trying to contain his laughter.

  “Right,” Mr. Neal says, finally turning around. “You two, uh, have fu—”

  “See you in a few minutes, Dad,” Coop says, cutting off his old man.

  After rolling up the window, Cooper bursts into a fit of hysterics.

  “It’s not funny, ass.”

  “Oh my God,” Coop howls, wiping at the tears dripping from his eyes. “Why aren’t you laughing?”

  “Ummm, probably because I’m the one who just got caught with a mouth full of cock. I will never be able to look your father in the eye again.” Acid churns in my stomach. “You really need your own place, Coop.”

  “I agree. We need our own place. Start searching online for a few you like and we can go have a look together...Maybe even this weekend.”

  Suddenly, the cab of this truck feels really, really small. “About that,” I say, slipping his grandmother’s borrowed diamond from my finger.

  “Don’t,” Coop objects, his face panicked as he slides it back on. “Don’t do that. I heard what you said to Gina and you’re wrong.”

  Shit. “What am I wrong about?”

  “We should still get married, Spence. I love you.” His voice cracks. “And you love me.” I nod. “We’ve been in love with each other since before we were even old enough to know the meaning of the word. This court fiasco just helped to speed things up a bit, but I had every intention of asking you to marry me eventually...whenever I thought that there was a chance you might actually not turn me down.”

  How did things suddenly become so serious?

  “Cooper, the timing won’t ever be right.” I stare down at my lap, unable to handle the broken look on his face, and methodically spin the ring around my finger. “I will always be a mother. My children...they will always come first, and you...you don’t want to be a father.”

  “You’re wrong,” he counters, cupping my face in his hands. “I didn’t want to be a father with Kristy...or any other woman, for that matter. Those ties...those ties are forever, and I never wanted to be connected to any other person so permanently. Forever was always meant for you and me, Spence.”

  Holy fucking shit.

  “B-but, my kids...”

  “Are amazing just like their mother, and if you’ll give me the chance, I’d be honored to help you raise them.” His big brown eyes stare deep into mine. I’ve never seen him so vulnerable—so scared.

  I am now a full-blown, sobbing mess. “You’re serious?”

  “I’ll admit that at first I wasn’t too keen on the idea. I couldn’t handle that you’d had children with anyone who wasn’t me. I just...I could never bring myself to want anyone else in that way.” Cooper pauses to clear his throat. “They were supposed to be ours and I resented them,” he admits, his face flushing with embarrassment. “I looked at them and I-I saw souvenirs of a life you lived without me. Little trophies you’d flaunt in my face just to show me that you’d moved on.” He shakes his head. “I was a fool.”

  “Coop, it was never like that.”

  “I know that.” He reaches up, loosening the knot in his tie. “But it was easier for me to be angry with you than to admit to myself that every bit of this was my fault.”

  “I-I don’t know what to say.”

  Cooper takes both of my hands back into his own. “Say you’ll still marry me,” he begs. “For the first time since I was stupid enough to let you go, there is nothing but fear standing in our way. Be brave with me, Spence.”

  My throat is caving in. I need to get out of this truck. I can’t think. I can’t breathe. “You have no idea how much I want to say yes,” I whisper.

  “Then say it,” he urges.

  I can physically feel the ache in my chest where my heart is being ripped in two. “I can’t marry you, Cooper, but you have to know that it’s not because I don’t love you or because I don’t want to.” I pause to catch my breath, squeezing his hand. “It’s not fair to you or to my boys. You-you hardly know each other...You can’t even change a diaper, Cooper.” I sniff through a sad smile. “You don’t even know what you’re asking for—not really.” He starts to speak and I press my finger to his lips. “There’s no way for me to say this without sounding like I was using you, but the only reason I agreed to marry you was because you made it sound like a business proposition, and I would have done anything to keep my child.” Fuck. I hate that no matter how I say this it comes off sounding terrible. “Cooper, I would have given our marriage my all. I selfishly would have allowed you to risk your future and risk making my children unhappy to save Kyle, but I would have done everything in my power to make you happy.” Cooper sucks in his lips, biting down. His nostrils flare in and out slowly as his eyes begin to shine with unshed tears. “But at the first sign that you weren’t, I would have let you go...and it would have k-killed me. I don’t want to risk that. I can’t...I won’t risk that.”

  “Babe, I would never have left. I won’t ever leave you.” There’s so much desperation in his voice. Cooper looks as heartbroken as I feel.

  “There was a time that I believed that with every beat of my heart, Cooper James, but that ship has sailed, and I’m not trying to hurt you or to make you feel guilty. I’m only trying to protect my heart. To protect your happiness and my children’s...”

  I can see the resignation in his face as Coop pulls me into his lap. “It’s okay, baby. Don’t cry.” He dries my eyes and kisses my swollen lips. “If you need time...I can give you that. I’m not going anywhere. Even if you never give me more than this...I’m yours because you are all I need, Spencer.”

  Time...I don’t have the heart to tell him that not even time will be enough to fix the mess we’ve allowed ourselves to become.

  Cooper

  “Are we okay?” Spencer asks nervously, wringing her hands as we’re walking up to the house.

  I wrap my arm around her shoulders, pulling her close. “We’re perfect,” I assure her, placing a kiss on her temple. “It’s my dad you should be worried about.” I give her a little nudge with my elbow, trying to lighten the mood, and earn myself another jab to the ribs.

  “Can you just go get Kyle and bring him to me next door?” She steeples her hands together, poking out her bottom lip, looking so much like Savage.

  I chuckle. “Not a chance, hoover.”

  Spence glares a
t me, opening her mouth to speak, but before she can even make a sound, the front door swings open.

  “There you two are,” Momma says, assessing us both. “I was about to send out a search party.” She ushers us inside, closing the door behind us. “I called your momma and told her about court, Spencer Rose, since you didn’t see fit to do so yourself.”

  Ouch.

  Spencer bites her bottom lip. “Thank you, Mrs. Nelly. I guess I was just so preoccupied with all that was going on, I just forgot to call.”

  Mom huffs, glaring at Spence and me. “Yeah, I heard all about how you two were keeping yourselves occupied.”

  Spencer’s jaw drops to the floor.

  “Mom, that’s enough,” I warn, giving her a stern look.

  “No, Coop, I don’t think it is. Your father shouldn’t have to come home to that foolishness in his own damned yard. You two are acting like some goddamn horny teenagers.”

  “Ignore her,” I mumble to Spence when I feel her hand start shaking in mine.

  “You roll them eyes at me again and you’ll be picking teeth up off the floor, you understand me, son? Can you imagine if it would have been Lake or Landon who walked up and caught you two like that? I mean, for God’s sake, you had your mouth on his genitals outside in broad daylight!” Momma shouts, throwing her hands into the air.

  I look over at poor Spence, who’s now as white as a sheet. “I-I’m so sorry, Mrs. Nelly. It won’t happen again.”

  Whaaaat? The hell it won’t. “Pssh,” I huff, and Spencer gives me the evil eye.

  “You see that it doesn’t.” Momma shakes her head. “I mean, honestly, you’re better than that, Spencer. That type of behavior is reserved for truck stop hookers, not respectable ladies. I would never stoop so low.”

  I snort. It’s a knee-jerk reaction and one that only pisses my mother off further. Spencer sucks in her lips, biting down hard to contain hers.

  “I’ll be sure to give my condolences to Dad.” And that does it. Spence folds over, laughing. The look on my mother’s face is priceless. I’ve decided that if they’re going to insist on being all up in our business, I’m not going to make it easy for them.

  “Cooper, stop it,” Spence grits out between her teeth, her nails digging into the palm of my hand.

  “I really wish you’d stop being so disrespectful, Coop.”

  I have had enough. “And I really wish you would stay out of our business. We’re adults, and you need to back off, Mom.”

  Momma lifts her hand, pointing a finger in my direction, and sucking in enough breath for an epic tongue lashing, but instead blows the breath back out in a long sigh. She jerks her hand back to her side and trudges off to the kitchen, grumbling the entire way.

  “Your mother was right, you know?” Spence says quietly.

  I scoff. “She most certainly was not. Do not listen to that crazy woman. I find blow jobs to be highly respectable. In fact, I can’t think of many things I respect more than your lips around my cock.”

  Spencer sucks in a sharp breath. “Not about that,” she says, giggling. “I meant she was right about the boys. We didn’t even consider that we were out in the front yard and anyone could have just walked up on us.”

  “Well, banning blow jobs is not the answer.”

  Her brows lift and the corners of her mouth curve into a curious smile. “No?”

  “Definitely not,” I say with the shake of my head.

  “What do you propose we do, then?” She crosses her arms on her chest, cocking a hip out to the side.

  “It’s simple. We need our own place.”

  Spencer

  Over the last month or so, it has become the new routine for Gina and Coop to join us at Momma’s for dinner on Tuesday nights. Today, I was able to duck out a little early from work to swing by the store and grab all of the fixings for Taco Tuesday. It’s not even four o’clock yet and I’ve already picked up Savage and have almost finished cooking.

  Tuesdays are my new favorite day. I mean, they already freaking rocked, because...tacos! Add in a little quality time with my B.F.F. and Cooper and I’m on top of the freaking world.

  As I’m dancing around the kitchen, belting out the lyrics to This Girl is on Fire by Alicia Keys, I see Mom and the twins pull up to the house.

  “You not on fiya, Mom,” Kyle says, making a face at my screeching. “I not yike dis song.” He crosses his arms and pouts.

  “Alexa,” I say while glaring at my toddler, “play the song You’re a Jerk.” Like magic, the song comes on. I still can’t get over how amazing the Amazon Echo is. Just about any song you can imagine available on voice command. What will they come up with next?

  I laugh as Kyle starts singing along at the table, bobbing his head from side to side with the beat. He really is such a savage.

  “What’s a dildo?” Landon asks, barging into the kitchen and tossing his twenty-pound backpack to the floor.

  Hello. “Ummm,” I mumble, glancing at Kyle, who is sitting at the kitchen table coloring. “Give me a sec.”

  I amble over to the living room and ask my mother to keep an eye on Kyle so that I can speak to the twins privately and then usher them up the stairs to my bedroom, locking the door behind us. “Why do you want to know what a dildo is?”

  “The kids here say that a lot,” Lake replies, staring down at his feet while cracking his knuckles one by one. My shoulders tense at the sound. “We laugh because everyone else does,” he continues, “but we don’t know what it means.”

  Holy crap. I’m not ready. “What do they say exactly?” I pry, not wanting to unwittingly provide any more information than absolutely necessary. Why the hell are twelve-year-old boys talking about dildos?

  “I dunno,” Lake says with a nervous smile. “They just say things like ‘Go suck a dildo’ and stuff.”

  Reaching over to the bedside table, I grab a small stack of paper and begin fanning myself. I feel like I’m going to vomit. “They say that, do they?” I ask, stalling for time.

  Landon nods.

  I can’t do it...“Actually, guys, I think you’re a little...or a lot too young for this stuff right now. Can we just revisit the question in like—” I glance down at my wrist at the watch I’m not wearing “—three years?” I plead.

  Landon’s eyes roll up in his head. “Told you she wouldn’t tell us.”

  Inhaling a deep breath, I take a seat on the edge of my bed. “A dildo is a fake penis,” I blurt out, feeling my cheeks flame.

  The twins “oh” and “ahh” in understanding. Their world makes sense once again, which is lovely, because mine is tilting on its axis.

  If I were smart, I would just drop it and send them on their merry way, but because I am a glutton for punishment, I can’t let it go. “Why are you boys telling each other to suck penises, real or otherwise, anyway? What kind of kids are you hanging around with?”

  Lake sighs. “Mom...it’s everyone. Landon and I are so babyfied compared to the other kids here. They even watch Pornhub.” The fuck?

  “Yeah, Jake said he watches it on his phone at night when he goes to sleep. I Googled it while we were at Dad’s—” he gives me a guilty look “—and found out it was people with webcams having sex,” Landon adds with a shrug.

  I blanch. Oh my God. I am really going to be sick. The last time we had the sex talk was less than a year ago and they still thought it meant kissing in bed with your clothes off, under the covers. I didn’t tell them better, wanting to keep my boys innocent for as long as possible. Something tells me they aren’t quite so innocent anymore. “Do you two know what sex is?” I ask, looking around the room, anywhere but at their eyes. Trust me I know how ridiculous it must seem that I can’t make eye contact with my children when I’ve made my career discussing sex. But, talking about sex with adult strangers is completely different from talking about it with your baby boys.

  “It’s when a boy puts his penis in a vagina,” Lake mutters beneath his breath.

  Landon bursts int
o a fit of hysterics. “You are so freaking stupid,” he says, pointing at his brother. “You don’t put it in a vagina. You put it on top.” Noooo. He did not just say that.

  It’s my turn to laugh. I try holding it in, but he’s so sure of himself, and he’s so wrong. When I calm down enough, I correct him. “Lake was right. You do put it inside,” I say, coughing. “But not ’til you are much older,” I add.

  “But, gay people put it in a butt, right, Mom?” Lake adds, staring as he waits for confirmation.

  Oh, sweet baby Jesus. What is even happening right now? “Yes,” I squeak. “Gay men have sex by sticking their penis in another man’s butt.”

  Lake nods and his brows dip inward. I can actually see another question forming in his head, and I’m a bit terrified. “But, how do gay women have sex if neither of them has a penis?”

  Dead silence. My mouth opens and closes. Everything I think to say sounds worse than the last. I’m not about to explain clitoral stimulation to my twelve-year-olds.

  “Ohhhh!” Landon says, his eyes lighting up. “Is that what the dildos are for? Lesbian sex?” Thank you, son.

  “Yes. That is exactly what they are for.” Please let this be the end of it.

  “Okay, well, what about truffle butter? Is that real?” Landon inquires. Wow. Okay, this conversation just took a complete one-eighty. I breathe out a sigh of relief. Food is a good change of subject. I can handle food.

  “I guess so...I think they use truffle butter in fancy restaurants on steaks.”

  “Ewwww,” Lake and Landon both groan simultaneously.

  Oookay...“Why? What do you think truffle butter is?”

  Lake’s face turns beet red and Landon begins choking on his saliva.

  “I told you guys that you could tell me anything. I meant it.”

  “You can’t yell at us,” Lake warns, eyeing me.

  I roll my eyes, crossing my arms on my chest. How bad could it possibly be? “I will not yell.” I mean, it can’t be worse than butt sex.

  “Ryan told us that it’s when you stick your penis in a butt and then in a vagina and when you pull it out, it makes a buttery substance called truffle butter,” Landon answers, scrunching his nose in disgust. “Is that true?” Okay, so I was wrong. This is worse.